Ranking the Housewives Part 3: Orange County
There are so many OC Housewives.
16. Quinn Fry
To be completely honest I don't remember anything about Quinn Fry. If someone asked me what I thought about Quinn Fry I would probably assume they were talking about a character on the CW. Anyway, Google tells me that Quinn was tight with Jeana so that automatically makes her a failure at life. Oh and she apparently never admits to being older than 30…Lol, who does she think she's fooling? We have eyes Quinn!
Most Memorable Quote: "No, I promise I am 30."
15. Kimberly Bryant
Kimberly was one of those one single season Housewives we see all too often in the OC, but she left for good reason. I really hope her health issues have resolved but let's be honest here, no one really remembers much about her outside of her boob job upon the insistence of her douchey husband.
Most Memorable Quote: "85% of the women around here have had breast implants." (Your husband is still a dick.)
14. Lydia McLaughlin
Lydia was nice enough, but she just plain boring 99% of the time. If you're not bankrupt or flipping tables we don't have time for you.
Most Memorable Quote: "She (her mother) was a hippie and dropped acid." (Andy should have hired Lydia's mom instead.)
13. Tammy Knickerbokcer
Tammy's most iconic scene on the Housewives can be summed up in two words, Bass Lake, and she wasn't even there! Her daughters and ex-husband Lou (RIP) brought about some drama for Tammy, but overall Tammy's entire storyline/life was a fucking downer.
Most Memorable Quote: I don't remember any. Sorry, I'm a flop.
12. Jo De La Rosa
Whatever happened to Jo? She seemed to have such a promising career in music. Regardless, Jo's main storyline centered around her issues with her "keeper" Slade and flirting with the barely legal son of her friend (doing Carole proud tbh).
Most Memorable Quote: "He's pretty much keeping me."
11. Lizzie Rovsek
I just don't like her.
Most Memorable Moment: "You're crap Tamra." (These blatant lies rn. You're crap Lizzie!)
10. Peggy Tanous
I don't know about Peggy. She did fuck Follower of Christ™ Jim Bellino so obviously her standards are lacking. But between the sham of a marriage, bankruptcy filing, and repossessed Bentley I just don't know what to think. Was everything a lie Peggy?
Most Memorable Quote: "This girl drives a Bentley."
9. Lynne Curtin
Lynne Curtin was a mess. She was drowning in debt, her husband looked to be in the middle of a breakdown, and her daughters were utter failures. Has there ever been a more delusional housewife than Lynne? The Curtins had their house repossessed so they moved to a beach house and threw a catered housewarming party? Uh okay, that sounds like an amazing financial plan.
Most Memorable Quote: "Words hurt."
8. Jeana Keough
Not only was Jeana a boring housewife with terrible kids but she is a straight up horrible person. What kind of person defends and sides with her friend's emotionally (and probably physically) abusive husband? Fucking Jeana, she didn't even deserve to have Tamra's wine thrown on her face. Take your rain poncho wearing daughter and get the fuck out.
Most Memorable Quote: None, everything Jeana said was stupid.
7. Shannon Beader
I'm sorry affliction, we haven't seen enough of Shannon to rank her higher, but I have high hopes for her. Unite with Tamra and destroy Heather our crystal wearing Queen <3.
Most Memorable Quote: "You will ALL see the truth! You will all see the fucking truth!"
6. Alexis Bellino
Us heathens should be grateful that Jesus' bustiest disciple was kind enough to grace our TVs and show us how the righteous should be living. If only we had a man like Jim by our side we would be unstoppable too. And so what if Alexis probably can't read, she is God's BFF! #Blessed
Most Memorable Quote: "And I had to go on Xanax for it Lydia!"
5. Gretchen Rossi
RHOC would not be an accurate representation of California without a token blonde as the trophy wife/girlfriend to a barely breathing rich guy, a role perfectly embodied by Gretchen Rossi. Bless this gold-digging Queen <3. Had she not accepted Jo's sloppy seconds I would have liked her more. BTW we totally know you cheated on Jeff with Jay, we're as not stupid as you. RIP Jeff.
Most Memorable Quote: "I'm trying to follow in the footsteps or Fergie, or Pink, or Christina Aguilera." (LOL, okay Gretchen)
4. Heather Dubrow
Say what you will about this pretentious champs drinking "actress" but her and her often berated Cabbage Patch spouse sure know how to stir up drama. Plus, Heather might just be the meanest wife ever. Bless her uptight soul.
Most Memorable Quote: "If you think I'm talking down to you, I probably am. Because you're acting like a moron."
3. Lauri Waring Peterson
Lauri was a glorious mess, there is nothing else to say.
Most Memorable Quote: "Are the police involved?" (Why would you ever want this to be your tagline? At least she was honest about her life.)
2. Vicki Gunvalson
Vicki is the original Ramona, the O.G. of all of the Housewives. Whether it's her tragic taste in men, showing up at her son's college, throwing a fit over a "family van," reminding us that she runs her own business, getting dragged by her mother (RIP, seriously why does everyone in the OC die on us?), distributing bacon vodka, or accidentally posting nude pics online this mess of a "cool mom" makes every season worth watching and makes us all appreciate our own mothers. My Heather-esque mother would never ask if she was a "MILF" or wear a pair of khaki stretch pants, bless ha!
Most Memorable Quote: "Woo hoo!"
1. Queen Tamra Judge
Tamra is Queen, period. She is Regina George and the rest of those commoners are just her little helpers (Yeah Heather, I called you a commoner. Deal with it). This clever wine-throwing pioneer did it all first. No matter the season Tamra always brings it. #Blairfliction 4 Tamra 2k15
Most Memorable Quote: "Does your asshole ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?!"
Who is your favorite OC housewife?
16. Quinn Fry
To be completely honest I don't remember anything about Quinn Fry. If someone asked me what I thought about Quinn Fry I would probably assume they were talking about a character on the CW. Anyway, Google tells me that Quinn was tight with Jeana so that automatically makes her a failure at life. Oh and she apparently never admits to being older than 30…Lol, who does she think she's fooling? We have eyes Quinn!
Most Memorable Quote: "No, I promise I am 30."
15. Kimberly Bryant
Kimberly was one of those one single season Housewives we see all too often in the OC, but she left for good reason. I really hope her health issues have resolved but let's be honest here, no one really remembers much about her outside of her boob job upon the insistence of her douchey husband.
Most Memorable Quote: "85% of the women around here have had breast implants." (Your husband is still a dick.)
14. Lydia McLaughlin
Lydia was nice enough, but she just plain boring 99% of the time. If you're not bankrupt or flipping tables we don't have time for you.
Most Memorable Quote: "She (her mother) was a hippie and dropped acid." (Andy should have hired Lydia's mom instead.)
13. Tammy Knickerbokcer
Tammy's most iconic scene on the Housewives can be summed up in two words, Bass Lake, and she wasn't even there! Her daughters and ex-husband Lou (RIP) brought about some drama for Tammy, but overall Tammy's entire storyline/life was a fucking downer.
Most Memorable Quote: I don't remember any. Sorry, I'm a flop.
12. Jo De La Rosa
Whatever happened to Jo? She seemed to have such a promising career in music. Regardless, Jo's main storyline centered around her issues with her "keeper" Slade and flirting with the barely legal son of her friend (doing Carole proud tbh).
Most Memorable Quote: "He's pretty much keeping me."
11. Lizzie Rovsek
I just don't like her.
Most Memorable Moment: "You're crap Tamra." (These blatant lies rn. You're crap Lizzie!)
10. Peggy Tanous
I don't know about Peggy. She did fuck Follower of Christ™ Jim Bellino so obviously her standards are lacking. But between the sham of a marriage, bankruptcy filing, and repossessed Bentley I just don't know what to think. Was everything a lie Peggy?
Most Memorable Quote: "This girl drives a Bentley."
9. Lynne Curtin
Lynne Curtin was a mess. She was drowning in debt, her husband looked to be in the middle of a breakdown, and her daughters were utter failures. Has there ever been a more delusional housewife than Lynne? The Curtins had their house repossessed so they moved to a beach house and threw a catered housewarming party? Uh okay, that sounds like an amazing financial plan.
Most Memorable Quote: "Words hurt."
8. Jeana Keough
Not only was Jeana a boring housewife with terrible kids but she is a straight up horrible person. What kind of person defends and sides with her friend's emotionally (and probably physically) abusive husband? Fucking Jeana, she didn't even deserve to have Tamra's wine thrown on her face. Take your rain poncho wearing daughter and get the fuck out.
Most Memorable Quote: None, everything Jeana said was stupid.
7. Shannon Beader
I'm sorry affliction, we haven't seen enough of Shannon to rank her higher, but I have high hopes for her. Unite with Tamra and destroy Heather our crystal wearing Queen <3.
Most Memorable Quote: "You will ALL see the truth! You will all see the fucking truth!"
6. Alexis Bellino
Us heathens should be grateful that Jesus' bustiest disciple was kind enough to grace our TVs and show us how the righteous should be living. If only we had a man like Jim by our side we would be unstoppable too. And so what if Alexis probably can't read, she is God's BFF! #Blessed
Most Memorable Quote: "And I had to go on Xanax for it Lydia!"
5. Gretchen Rossi
RHOC would not be an accurate representation of California without a token blonde as the trophy wife/girlfriend to a barely breathing rich guy, a role perfectly embodied by Gretchen Rossi. Bless this gold-digging Queen <3. Had she not accepted Jo's sloppy seconds I would have liked her more. BTW we totally know you cheated on Jeff with Jay, we're as not stupid as you. RIP Jeff.
Click to viewMost Memorable Quote: "I'm trying to follow in the footsteps or Fergie, or Pink, or Christina Aguilera." (LOL, okay Gretchen)
4. Heather Dubrow
Say what you will about this pretentious champs drinking "actress" but her and her often berated Cabbage Patch spouse sure know how to stir up drama. Plus, Heather might just be the meanest wife ever. Bless her uptight soul.
Most Memorable Quote: "If you think I'm talking down to you, I probably am. Because you're acting like a moron."
3. Lauri Waring Peterson
Lauri was a glorious mess, there is nothing else to say.
Most Memorable Quote: "Are the police involved?" (Why would you ever want this to be your tagline? At least she was honest about her life.)
2. Vicki Gunvalson
Vicki is the original Ramona, the O.G. of all of the Housewives. Whether it's her tragic taste in men, showing up at her son's college, throwing a fit over a "family van," reminding us that she runs her own business, getting dragged by her mother (RIP, seriously why does everyone in the OC die on us?), distributing bacon vodka, or accidentally posting nude pics online this mess of a "cool mom" makes every season worth watching and makes us all appreciate our own mothers. My Heather-esque mother would never ask if she was a "MILF" or wear a pair of khaki stretch pants, bless ha!
Most Memorable Quote: "Woo hoo!"
1. Queen Tamra Judge
Tamra is Queen, period. She is Regina George and the rest of those commoners are just her little helpers (Yeah Heather, I called you a commoner. Deal with it). This clever wine-throwing pioneer did it all first. No matter the season Tamra always brings it. #Blairfliction 4 Tamra 2k15
Most Memorable Quote: "Does your asshole ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?!"
Who is your favorite OC housewife?