Ranking the Housewives Part 2: Beverly Hills
You know what this post is. Your opinions are more than welcome <3... unless they conflict with mine.
12. Carlton Gebbia
This is exactly why Andy needs our help when casting because he insists on bringing on flops like this Carlton character. This long lost Napolitano twin is that guy in high school who always brags about his sexcapades even though you know he's a virgin. Carlton is the E.L. James of Housewives. The only good thing about Carlton being hired was that she tried so hard to seem relevant and still got fired. LOL. And then she told TMZ that Bravo begged her to come back but she said "No," LOL (2).
Most Memorable Quote: Something about her husband's dick.
11. Adrienne Maloof
From her ugly shoes to her 90's styled McMansion, Adrienne singlehandedly proves Countess Luann's hit single "Money Can't Buy You Class" to be true. All things considered Adrienne was just boring and her incessant nagging gave me a migraine.
Most Memorable Quote: "Uh oh, someone's crying."
10. Brandi Glanville
Lovely.
What else is there to say about this foul, drunken mess that hasn't already been said? This master manipulator tricked us into rooting for her during her first season but now that we've seen the real Brandi I think we can all agree that Brandi is horrible. Whether it's enabling an addict, slapping people, getting horrible plastic surgery, sleeping with prostitutes or throwing wine on the Queen, Brandi makes us all feel better about our own life choices. Did you fail a test or get fired? Well, at least you're not Brandi.
Most Memorable Quote: "At least I don't do crystal meth in the bathroom all night, bitch."
9. Taylor Armstrong
Poor Taylor, all of her story lines were just depressing as hell. I hope she's doing better; I just don't want to see it on my TV.
Most Memorable Quote: "Happy birthday asshole. Fuck you, you fucking psychotic bitch."
8. Kim Richards
Like many Disney child stars from fucked up families, we have watched Kim's sad fall from grace. For the love of God can someone please fire Kim and get her some help? Her drunken antics aren't funny, they're just sad.
Most Memorable Quote: "You stole my goddamn house!"
7. Yolanda Foster
Yolanda's housewife history is a complex one. Her first season on the show was great but then she stayed friends with Brandi, became ill, and everything has gone downhill from there. At this point the only thing Yolanda brings to the table are her connections, but are Babyface and "my love" really worth it? I think not. Sorry Yolanda but you and your lemons have worn out your welcome. It's demotion time!
#Gigi's time to shine
Most Memorable Quote: "Who is Adrienne Maloof in this world? She's nobody." (Drag a bit Yolanda.)
6. Kyle Richards
Fucking Brandi, because of her I actually like this highly gifable social climbing impressionist. Is Kyle a narcissist who was probably always jealous of her more talented and prettier sister? Yes. Would I ever want to spend time with? No, but unlike certain people (Kathy Hilton) she has at least been trying to help her addict sister and this season has made her sympathetic.
Most Memorable Quote: "You’re such a fucking liar, Camille!"
5. Joyce Giraud de Ohoven
RIP Joyce. Was she all that memorable? No, but she had great hair and made Brandi cry so that makes her a winner in my book.
Most Memorable Quote: I can't remember any, sorry Joyce.
4. Lisa Rinna
Lisa Rinna is the perfect combination of sanity and drama to make an iconic housewife. She can stir the pot a bit (calling out Kim for being messy as fuck) and diffuse situations (forgiving Kim for the sake of Amsterdam wine glasses). Might Lisa become the Luann De Lesseps of the West Coast? Only time will tell, but if I were her I'd send her daughters away. Put that Depends money to good use and send those kids to a Swiss boarding school.
Most Memorable Quote: #WhatDidHarryDo
3. Lisa Vanderpump
Even though I'm getting tired of her I must admit that Lisa Vanderpump is a Beverly Hills Housewives institution. Plus she has always had amazing tag lines, gave us Vanderpump Rules, and let her dog drink out of Adrienne's ugly wine glasses so out of respect I should stan a bit.
Most Memorable Line: "Check mate, bitch."
2. Eileen Davidson
Eileen is a queen who blessed us with the greatest housewife gif to ever exist. What else is there to say?
Most Memorable Quote: "Beast?! How dare you!"
1. Camille Grammer
Season one Camille was everything. She gifted us with the greatest Housewife dinner party of all time, dismantled Kyle Richards, made us a little sexually confused for a minute with her dancing, took all of Kelsey Grammer's money, and was an overall queen, until she rose above the drama. Why would you leave us Camille? All you had to do was stay.
Most Memorable Quote: "The morally corrupt Faye Resnick."
Who is your favorite BH Housewife?
12. Carlton Gebbia
This is exactly why Andy needs our help when casting because he insists on bringing on flops like this Carlton character. This long lost Napolitano twin is that guy in high school who always brags about his sexcapades even though you know he's a virgin. Carlton is the E.L. James of Housewives. The only good thing about Carlton being hired was that she tried so hard to seem relevant and still got fired. LOL. And then she told TMZ that Bravo begged her to come back but she said "No," LOL (2).
Most Memorable Quote: Something about her husband's dick.
11. Adrienne Maloof
From her ugly shoes to her 90's styled McMansion, Adrienne singlehandedly proves Countess Luann's hit single "Money Can't Buy You Class" to be true. All things considered Adrienne was just boring and her incessant nagging gave me a migraine.
Most Memorable Quote: "Uh oh, someone's crying."
10. Brandi Glanville
Lovely.
What else is there to say about this foul, drunken mess that hasn't already been said? This master manipulator tricked us into rooting for her during her first season but now that we've seen the real Brandi I think we can all agree that Brandi is horrible. Whether it's enabling an addict, slapping people, getting horrible plastic surgery, sleeping with prostitutes or throwing wine on the Queen, Brandi makes us all feel better about our own life choices. Did you fail a test or get fired? Well, at least you're not Brandi.
Most Memorable Quote: "At least I don't do crystal meth in the bathroom all night, bitch."
9. Taylor Armstrong
Poor Taylor, all of her story lines were just depressing as hell. I hope she's doing better; I just don't want to see it on my TV.
Most Memorable Quote: "Happy birthday asshole. Fuck you, you fucking psychotic bitch."
8. Kim Richards
Like many Disney child stars from fucked up families, we have watched Kim's sad fall from grace. For the love of God can someone please fire Kim and get her some help? Her drunken antics aren't funny, they're just sad.
Most Memorable Quote: "You stole my goddamn house!"
7. Yolanda Foster
Yolanda's housewife history is a complex one. Her first season on the show was great but then she stayed friends with Brandi, became ill, and everything has gone downhill from there. At this point the only thing Yolanda brings to the table are her connections, but are Babyface and "my love" really worth it? I think not. Sorry Yolanda but you and your lemons have worn out your welcome. It's demotion time!
#Gigi's time to shine
Most Memorable Quote: "Who is Adrienne Maloof in this world? She's nobody." (Drag a bit Yolanda.)
6. Kyle Richards
Fucking Brandi, because of her I actually like this highly gifable social climbing impressionist. Is Kyle a narcissist who was probably always jealous of her more talented and prettier sister? Yes. Would I ever want to spend time with? No, but unlike certain people (Kathy Hilton) she has at least been trying to help her addict sister and this season has made her sympathetic.
Most Memorable Quote: "You’re such a fucking liar, Camille!"
5. Joyce Giraud de Ohoven
RIP Joyce. Was she all that memorable? No, but she had great hair and made Brandi cry so that makes her a winner in my book.
Most Memorable Quote: I can't remember any, sorry Joyce.
4. Lisa Rinna
Lisa Rinna is the perfect combination of sanity and drama to make an iconic housewife. She can stir the pot a bit (calling out Kim for being messy as fuck) and diffuse situations (forgiving Kim for the sake of Amsterdam wine glasses). Might Lisa become the Luann De Lesseps of the West Coast? Only time will tell, but if I were her I'd send her daughters away. Put that Depends money to good use and send those kids to a Swiss boarding school.
Most Memorable Quote: #WhatDidHarryDo
3. Lisa Vanderpump
Even though I'm getting tired of her I must admit that Lisa Vanderpump is a Beverly Hills Housewives institution. Plus she has always had amazing tag lines, gave us Vanderpump Rules, and let her dog drink out of Adrienne's ugly wine glasses so out of respect I should stan a bit.
Most Memorable Line: "Check mate, bitch."
2. Eileen Davidson
Eileen is a queen who blessed us with the greatest housewife gif to ever exist. What else is there to say?
Most Memorable Quote: "Beast?! How dare you!"
1. Camille Grammer
Season one Camille was everything. She gifted us with the greatest Housewife dinner party of all time, dismantled Kyle Richards, made us a little sexually confused for a minute with her dancing, took all of Kelsey Grammer's money, and was an overall queen, until she rose above the drama. Why would you leave us Camille? All you had to do was stay.
Click to viewMost Memorable Quote: "The morally corrupt Faye Resnick."
Who is your favorite BH Housewife?