Original Post: Ranking The NYC Housewives
January of 2008 our lives changed forever when The Real Housewives of New York City premiered. Since its inception there have been twelve housewives of NYC and with the season seven premiere looming let's rank them from worst to best. This may not be the post we want, but it's the post we deserve.
12. Carole Radziwill
This try-hard name dropper is boring as hell and should be grateful that Aviva even bothered to fight with her. What does she bring to the show? Carole is no drama, no connections, and no fun. Why was she invited back for a third season?
Most Memorable Quote: I'll admit that when Carole talks I tend to drift off but I'm sure it went something like this, "And then Oprah turns to JFK Jr. and says,'You better watch this one around Clooney.' Haha, famous friends and writing."
11. Cindy Barshop
Remember Jill's minion who was informed by Sonja that there was a housewives pecking order? Of course you don't because Cindy was about as memorable as one of her farm parties, but even she was better than Carole.
Most Memorable Quote: "Let's go to the spa."*
*I'm just guessing she said this at some point.
10. Kristen Taekman
Oh Kristen, sweet, boring, simple Kristen. Kristen Taekman is like uncooked tofu, not bad but not all that great either.
Most Memorable Quote: Actually, if any of you know Kristen perhaps point her to this website- http://www.wikihow.com/File-Divorce-Online
9. Alex McCord
It was a joyous day when this hive stricken social climber and her creepy husband were fired from Housewives and moved to Australia (sorry Australians). Other than getting into other people's fights, Alex didn't add anything to the show except uncomfortable PDA. Normally people named "Alex" are great but this one was a flop.
Most Memorable Quote: "She is a thug in a cocktail dress."
8. Heather Thomson
At least Heather tries and brings the drama, you know? She seems like a good mother and has a super nice husband and, fine, I like Heather. I said it. I'll admit that she needs to stop calling Diddy "Puffy" and saying "Holla."
Most Memorable Quote: "Don't motherfucking tell me nothing!"
7. Kelly Bensimon
We have Kelly to thank for the iconique Scary Island episode arc. Did Kelly's logic ever make sense? No, but it was entertaining. And we don't have to feel bad about laughing at those episodes because Kelly got her shit together (hint hint Kim Richards). Plus she had a good career, a cool apartment, and decent man candy so I think she has established herself in housewives' history.
Most Memorable Quote: "A cook does not a chef make."
6. Sonja (with a Sexy J) Morgan
Remember when Sonja was the sane one in season 3? Oh how times have changed. This second-rate Anna Nicole Smith impersonator has brought us so much joy over the years with her delusions of grandeur. Watching her bumble around her dilapidated brownstone babbling about Eric Clapton as a group of "interns" watch her only proves that she is our generation's Edith Bouvier Beale.
Most Memorable Quote: "I used to be classy and now I'm trashy."
5. Luann De Lesseps
Like a Phoenix risen from the ashes Luann has evolved from her boring pseudo-royal schtick to NYC's thug in a cocktail dress, kindly giving us commoners important life advice.
Most Memorable Quote: "Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes."
4. Aviva Drescher
When NYC Housewives was at its darkest Aviva was doing the most for hypochondriacs and snooty Vassar alums everywhere. Don't you know that bragging is unbecoming Aviva? If you're trying to go full WASP you're going to need to work a little harder than that. Nevertheless, Aviva never asked for much, just a party for when she arrived on vacation, Reid to be everywhere, people to remember she's missing a leg, people to remember she has asthma, and people to remember that she went to Vassar. Vassar guys. Vassar.
Most Memorable Quote: "The only thing fake about me is this!" (Proceeds to remove leg and throw it on the table).
3. Ramona Singer
Sorry Brandi but Ramona Singer is the original alcoholic wine tosser. Whether it's a pregnancy scare (lol), giving other people marital advice (lol), criticizing other people's parenting styles, refusing to be in music videos, strutting down the runway, trashing Sonja's financial problems, schilling her Ramona wine, or jetting out of the Berkshires Ramona makes every season memorable.
Most Memorable Line: "It's turtle time."
2. Bethenny Frankel
How the mighty have fallen. Remember when Ellen gave Bethenny her own show and Bethenny thought she was above Housewives? Lol, welcome back Bethenny. But even Bethenny haters have to admit that she adds a lot of drama and snark to the show. BTW what happened to Bethenny's french boyfriend? Asking for a friend...
Most Memorable Quote: "You really need to get a hobby."
1. Jill Zarin
Queen Jill's number one ranking needs no further explanation.
Most Memorable Quote: "I'm low-key and subtle." (Sounds about right)
Favorite NYC housewife or housewife moment?
12. Carole Radziwill
This try-hard name dropper is boring as hell and should be grateful that Aviva even bothered to fight with her. What does she bring to the show? Carole is no drama, no connections, and no fun. Why was she invited back for a third season?
Most Memorable Quote: I'll admit that when Carole talks I tend to drift off but I'm sure it went something like this, "And then Oprah turns to JFK Jr. and says,'You better watch this one around Clooney.' Haha, famous friends and writing."
11. Cindy Barshop
Remember Jill's minion who was informed by Sonja that there was a housewives pecking order? Of course you don't because Cindy was about as memorable as one of her farm parties, but even she was better than Carole.
Most Memorable Quote: "Let's go to the spa."*
*I'm just guessing she said this at some point.
10. Kristen Taekman
Oh Kristen, sweet, boring, simple Kristen. Kristen Taekman is like uncooked tofu, not bad but not all that great either.
Most Memorable Quote: Actually, if any of you know Kristen perhaps point her to this website- http://www.wikihow.com/File-Divorce-Online
9. Alex McCord
It was a joyous day when this hive stricken social climber and her creepy husband were fired from Housewives and moved to Australia (sorry Australians). Other than getting into other people's fights, Alex didn't add anything to the show except uncomfortable PDA. Normally people named "Alex" are great but this one was a flop.
Most Memorable Quote: "She is a thug in a cocktail dress."
8. Heather Thomson
At least Heather tries and brings the drama, you know? She seems like a good mother and has a super nice husband and, fine, I like Heather. I said it. I'll admit that she needs to stop calling Diddy "Puffy" and saying "Holla."
Most Memorable Quote: "Don't motherfucking tell me nothing!"
7. Kelly Bensimon
We have Kelly to thank for the iconique Scary Island episode arc. Did Kelly's logic ever make sense? No, but it was entertaining. And we don't have to feel bad about laughing at those episodes because Kelly got her shit together (hint hint Kim Richards). Plus she had a good career, a cool apartment, and decent man candy so I think she has established herself in housewives' history.
Most Memorable Quote: "A cook does not a chef make."
6. Sonja (with a Sexy J) Morgan
Remember when Sonja was the sane one in season 3? Oh how times have changed. This second-rate Anna Nicole Smith impersonator has brought us so much joy over the years with her delusions of grandeur. Watching her bumble around her dilapidated brownstone babbling about Eric Clapton as a group of "interns" watch her only proves that she is our generation's Edith Bouvier Beale.
Most Memorable Quote: "I used to be classy and now I'm trashy."
5. Luann De Lesseps
Like a Phoenix risen from the ashes Luann has evolved from her boring pseudo-royal schtick to NYC's thug in a cocktail dress, kindly giving us commoners important life advice.
Most Memorable Quote: "Even Louis Vuitton makes mistakes."
4. Aviva Drescher
When NYC Housewives was at its darkest Aviva was doing the most for hypochondriacs and snooty Vassar alums everywhere. Don't you know that bragging is unbecoming Aviva? If you're trying to go full WASP you're going to need to work a little harder than that. Nevertheless, Aviva never asked for much, just a party for when she arrived on vacation, Reid to be everywhere, people to remember she's missing a leg, people to remember she has asthma, and people to remember that she went to Vassar. Vassar guys. Vassar.
Most Memorable Quote: "The only thing fake about me is this!" (Proceeds to remove leg and throw it on the table).
3. Ramona Singer
Sorry Brandi but Ramona Singer is the original alcoholic wine tosser. Whether it's a pregnancy scare (lol), giving other people marital advice (lol), criticizing other people's parenting styles, refusing to be in music videos, strutting down the runway, trashing Sonja's financial problems, schilling her Ramona wine, or jetting out of the Berkshires Ramona makes every season memorable.
Most Memorable Line: "It's turtle time."
2. Bethenny Frankel
How the mighty have fallen. Remember when Ellen gave Bethenny her own show and Bethenny thought she was above Housewives? Lol, welcome back Bethenny. But even Bethenny haters have to admit that she adds a lot of drama and snark to the show. BTW what happened to Bethenny's french boyfriend? Asking for a friend...
Most Memorable Quote: "You really need to get a hobby."
1. Jill Zarin
Queen Jill's number one ranking needs no further explanation.
Most Memorable Quote: "I'm low-key and subtle." (Sounds about right)
Favorite NYC housewife or housewife moment?