Star Trek Without Pity (Enterprise and TOS Heavy)
I don't know how many ONTDers are like me and read recaps of their fave shows from Television Without Pity (TWoP), but since both have similar attributes (obsessed fans, snark, smart and funny ppl) there's bound to be some crossover, right?
Anyway, it turns out they have all of Enterprise recapped in their archives, for anyone who is interested! Their recaps are pretty intense; they quote huge passages of dialogue word for word, so if you want to find a certain line from the show but don't have the time to watch a whole ep, often the recaps are the way to go. (They can also get into major snark mode about mischaracterization, continuity problems, and plot holes, if that is up your alley.)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/
If you want to start with the pilot go here: http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/broken_bow.php
Keckler's (the recapper assigned to do Enterprise) summary of the series:
"It was a long road. Getting from premiere to cancellation. It was an uneven road, but it's time for some celebration. Some say this newest star in the Star Trek crown was pulled three years too late. Some say it was three years too early. Some say Bakula went in for an emergency furrowectomy straight from the wrap party. But I don't believe them. It's not that Star Trek is dead, you know-it just went to live in the country where it can chase lots of rabbits and squirrels. Go find yourself some Deep Space Nine and remember when Star Trek was truly great."
And guess what? She was kind enough to also recap most of the Trek movies, a bunch of TOS episodes, and a handful of eps from other Trek series!
Her hard work is our gain!
She also did a post where she critiqued a few recipes from "The Star Trek Cookbook" if you are interested (I put that in the "Extras" section of my post.) I think I really want to eat her reworking of the Plomeek Soup recipe like NOW, yum.
Movies
• Star Trek: The Motion Picture (aka Where Nomad Has Gone Before)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_motion_picture.php
Spock opens his eyes, grabs Kirk's hand, and says, "Jim, this - simple feeling is beyond V'Ger's comprehension."
Mathra: Feeling? What feeling? The slash feeling?
Keckler: V'Ger's homophobic.
• The Wrath of Khan (aka Yours is the Superior Star Trek Movie)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_ii_the_wrath_of_khan.php
Cut to Sulu on the Enterprise bridge: "Reliant in our section this quadrant, sir, and slowing." Sulu has the best voice, doesn't he? If I ever had to get really bad news delivered to me, I'd like Sulu to do it: "Sorry, Glark, you have inoperable brain cloud syndrome. You have but two weeks to live." Sure, it would suck to be dead in two weeks, but it wouldn't seem so bad coming from Sulu. Everything Sulu says sounds like it might be foreplay. He's that good. I've said too much.
• The Voyage Home (aka Fourth TOS Movie? The Hell It Is!)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_iv_the_voyage_home.php
Kirk and Spock arrive at the Cetacean Institute and join Annie's tour. God, she's really got a grating voice, doesn't she? ["YES." - Sara M] What a fishwife. Get it? Whales...fish? Yes, I know that whales aren't fish, god. Shut up. Blah blah blah whale-cakes. A tourist wants to know if whales attack people, "Like in Moby Dick?" "Ah, the all-important Moby Dick reference that ensures the success of any Star Trek movie," the Evil Dr. Mathra comments, "although, not so much in Star Trek VI, where the only whale was Scotty."
• The Final Frontier (aka What Does Kirk Need with a Toupee?)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_v_the_final_frontier.php
Chekov and Sulu follow Klaa's female first officer's butt into the lounge, and Chekov says, "She has vunderful musckels." They do an about-face when the female first officer walks over to a glowering Klaa, who respectfully salutes Kirk in ye olde Klingon manner. What is all this - the Mega-Happy ending of Wayne's World? "And I learned that having a bumpy forehead and a Number One with tight buttocks will get you far in life, almost to the top, but it won't get me respect from James Tiberius Kirk, which I so want."
• Nemesis (aka Arch Nemesis)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_nemesis.php
In our retro-happy days, people revere Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan because it takes the aspects of Star Trek: The Original Series that people love and smushes them all into a movie: it is campy, allusion-heavy, and makes people wonder what kind of Sex Wax Ricardo Montalban used on his pecs. 1987 comes along in all its feathered and Aqua-Netted glory, and Star Trek: The Next Generation takes the franchise to an entirely new level. The episode storylines are far more complex, character-driven, and philosophical, and they make you think in a way Kirk and his alienette of the week rarely did. It is because of that success as a series that we as an audience have come to expect much more from the movies that feature the TNG cast. We expect Cpt. Picard to be the Picard of "Darmok," Data to be the Data of "The Most Toys," and Worf to be the Worf of "Redemption," and when we take those expectations into the darkened THX surround-sound theatre, we are most likely going to be sorely disappointed.
TOS Eps
• Mirror, Mirror (aka Who's the Vainest of Them All?)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series.php
• Amok Time (aka Subvulcanian Homesick Blues)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_1.php
• The Way to Eden (aka Paradise Re-Maimed)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_2.php
• Plato's Stepchildren (ala Keckler's Apologia)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_3.php
• The Carbomite Maneuver (aka There was a Freakish Man Who Had A Freakish Smile)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_4.php
• Devil in the Dark (aka Horton Heals a Horta)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_5.php
• Dagger of the Mind (aka One Flew Over the Kirkoo's Nest)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_6.php
• Arena (aka Jimmy Crack Gorn and I Don't Care)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_7.php
• Paradise (aka The Song of Kirkawatha)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_8.php
• Spock's Brain (aka A No-Brainer)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_9.php
• And the Children Shall Lead (aka Triacus of the Damned)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_10.php
• Space Seed (aka The Bad Seed)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_11.php
TNG Eps
• Justice (aka of Wes and Wedgies)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/tng_justice.php
• Sub Rosa (aka It's a Family Affair)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/tng_sub_rosa.php
• The Game (aka Levels of Orgasms)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/tng_the_game.php
Voyager Ep
• Threshold (aka The One with Salamander Sex)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/voyager_threshold.php
Deep Space Nine Ep
• Let He Who is Without Sin... (aka The Sun Also Risens)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/ds9_let_he_who_is_without_sin.php
Extras
• Extra, Extra: Eat All About It!
Keckler tests out and critiques a few recipes from "The Star Trek Cookbook": Bones' baked beans from Final Frontier, Cold Tranya from the Carbomite Maneuver, Vulcan Plomeek Soup from Amok Time, Scott Bakula's Honey Garlic Ribs.
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_cookbook.php
• Discussion about the the reboot film in the TWoP movie forums
http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3178382
• "Trekkies" Documentary
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/trekkies.php
• Star Trek Eats American Pie (a rewording of the Don McMean hit, not sure the purpose of this)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_eats_american_pie.php
A nice summary I liked, from Keckler's Nemesis review: "It was the fans whose unflagging interest in a failed series turned it into the behemoth...it is today...With each new movie, with each new series, more generations get indoctrinated into the rich, complicated, and thoroughly entertaining Trek history, and that is as it should be."
If anyone here frequents TWoP and sees I've missed anything, like more movie and episode recaps, let me know and I'll add them to the correct section!
(Disclaimer of sorts: I sometimes have my own hangups about the recaps and recappers at TWoP. They can be super opinionated about characters and plotlines to the point where you want to slap them; they tend to create their own in-the-know nicknames for characters; some of them have big heads and are way into themselves and their recapping awesomeness. Sometimes that is great and sometimes that is off-putting; it depends entirely on the recapper. But all in all I love the site, and the TWoP readers are some of the smartest people ever; the forums are always a goldmine of show facts and tidbits. In short, for every time I roll my eyes at something on the site, there are ten times I LOL, and I hope you find the Trek recaps to be the same way. It is obvs that Keckler is a big Star Trek geek and I think her recaps are kind of endearing. So.
Also, when TWoP was bought out there was a huge reworking of their site; as a result a lot of the in-post links from older recapped series are broken. (I still miss the old, playful illustrations that accompanied the different series, sniff.) So if you click on a link in a recap and it goes nowhere or bumps you to an alphabetized list of recapped shows, that is probably why.)
Anyway, it turns out they have all of Enterprise recapped in their archives, for anyone who is interested! Their recaps are pretty intense; they quote huge passages of dialogue word for word, so if you want to find a certain line from the show but don't have the time to watch a whole ep, often the recaps are the way to go. (They can also get into major snark mode about mischaracterization, continuity problems, and plot holes, if that is up your alley.)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/
If you want to start with the pilot go here: http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/broken_bow.php
Keckler's (the recapper assigned to do Enterprise) summary of the series:
"It was a long road. Getting from premiere to cancellation. It was an uneven road, but it's time for some celebration. Some say this newest star in the Star Trek crown was pulled three years too late. Some say it was three years too early. Some say Bakula went in for an emergency furrowectomy straight from the wrap party. But I don't believe them. It's not that Star Trek is dead, you know-it just went to live in the country where it can chase lots of rabbits and squirrels. Go find yourself some Deep Space Nine and remember when Star Trek was truly great."
And guess what? She was kind enough to also recap most of the Trek movies, a bunch of TOS episodes, and a handful of eps from other Trek series!
Her hard work is our gain!
She also did a post where she critiqued a few recipes from "The Star Trek Cookbook" if you are interested (I put that in the "Extras" section of my post.) I think I really want to eat her reworking of the Plomeek Soup recipe like NOW, yum.
Movies
• Star Trek: The Motion Picture (aka Where Nomad Has Gone Before)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_motion_picture.php
Spock opens his eyes, grabs Kirk's hand, and says, "Jim, this - simple feeling is beyond V'Ger's comprehension."
Mathra: Feeling? What feeling? The slash feeling?
Keckler: V'Ger's homophobic.
• The Wrath of Khan (aka Yours is the Superior Star Trek Movie)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_ii_the_wrath_of_khan.php
Cut to Sulu on the Enterprise bridge: "Reliant in our section this quadrant, sir, and slowing." Sulu has the best voice, doesn't he? If I ever had to get really bad news delivered to me, I'd like Sulu to do it: "Sorry, Glark, you have inoperable brain cloud syndrome. You have but two weeks to live." Sure, it would suck to be dead in two weeks, but it wouldn't seem so bad coming from Sulu. Everything Sulu says sounds like it might be foreplay. He's that good. I've said too much.
• The Voyage Home (aka Fourth TOS Movie? The Hell It Is!)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_iv_the_voyage_home.php
Kirk and Spock arrive at the Cetacean Institute and join Annie's tour. God, she's really got a grating voice, doesn't she? ["YES." - Sara M] What a fishwife. Get it? Whales...fish? Yes, I know that whales aren't fish, god. Shut up. Blah blah blah whale-cakes. A tourist wants to know if whales attack people, "Like in Moby Dick?" "Ah, the all-important Moby Dick reference that ensures the success of any Star Trek movie," the Evil Dr. Mathra comments, "although, not so much in Star Trek VI, where the only whale was Scotty."
• The Final Frontier (aka What Does Kirk Need with a Toupee?)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_v_the_final_frontier.php
Chekov and Sulu follow Klaa's female first officer's butt into the lounge, and Chekov says, "She has vunderful musckels." They do an about-face when the female first officer walks over to a glowering Klaa, who respectfully salutes Kirk in ye olde Klingon manner. What is all this - the Mega-Happy ending of Wayne's World? "And I learned that having a bumpy forehead and a Number One with tight buttocks will get you far in life, almost to the top, but it won't get me respect from James Tiberius Kirk, which I so want."
• Nemesis (aka Arch Nemesis)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_nemesis.php
In our retro-happy days, people revere Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan because it takes the aspects of Star Trek: The Original Series that people love and smushes them all into a movie: it is campy, allusion-heavy, and makes people wonder what kind of Sex Wax Ricardo Montalban used on his pecs. 1987 comes along in all its feathered and Aqua-Netted glory, and Star Trek: The Next Generation takes the franchise to an entirely new level. The episode storylines are far more complex, character-driven, and philosophical, and they make you think in a way Kirk and his alienette of the week rarely did. It is because of that success as a series that we as an audience have come to expect much more from the movies that feature the TNG cast. We expect Cpt. Picard to be the Picard of "Darmok," Data to be the Data of "The Most Toys," and Worf to be the Worf of "Redemption," and when we take those expectations into the darkened THX surround-sound theatre, we are most likely going to be sorely disappointed.
TOS Eps
• Mirror, Mirror (aka Who's the Vainest of Them All?)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series.php
• Amok Time (aka Subvulcanian Homesick Blues)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_1.php
• The Way to Eden (aka Paradise Re-Maimed)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_2.php
• Plato's Stepchildren (ala Keckler's Apologia)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_3.php
• The Carbomite Maneuver (aka There was a Freakish Man Who Had A Freakish Smile)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_4.php
• Devil in the Dark (aka Horton Heals a Horta)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_5.php
• Dagger of the Mind (aka One Flew Over the Kirkoo's Nest)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_6.php
• Arena (aka Jimmy Crack Gorn and I Don't Care)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_7.php
• Paradise (aka The Song of Kirkawatha)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_8.php
• Spock's Brain (aka A No-Brainer)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_9.php
• And the Children Shall Lead (aka Triacus of the Damned)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_10.php
• Space Seed (aka The Bad Seed)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_the_original_series_11.php
TNG Eps
• Justice (aka of Wes and Wedgies)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/tng_justice.php
• Sub Rosa (aka It's a Family Affair)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/tng_sub_rosa.php
• The Game (aka Levels of Orgasms)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/tng_the_game.php
Voyager Ep
• Threshold (aka The One with Salamander Sex)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/voyager_threshold.php
Deep Space Nine Ep
• Let He Who is Without Sin... (aka The Sun Also Risens)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/ds9_let_he_who_is_without_sin.php
Extras
• Extra, Extra: Eat All About It!
Keckler tests out and critiques a few recipes from "The Star Trek Cookbook": Bones' baked beans from Final Frontier, Cold Tranya from the Carbomite Maneuver, Vulcan Plomeek Soup from Amok Time, Scott Bakula's Honey Garlic Ribs.
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_cookbook.php
• Discussion about the the reboot film in the TWoP movie forums
http://forums.televisionwithoutpity.com/index.php?showtopic=3178382
• "Trekkies" Documentary
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/trekkies.php
• Star Trek Eats American Pie (a rewording of the Don McMean hit, not sure the purpose of this)
http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/show/enterprise/star_trek_eats_american_pie.php
A nice summary I liked, from Keckler's Nemesis review: "It was the fans whose unflagging interest in a failed series turned it into the behemoth...it is today...With each new movie, with each new series, more generations get indoctrinated into the rich, complicated, and thoroughly entertaining Trek history, and that is as it should be."
If anyone here frequents TWoP and sees I've missed anything, like more movie and episode recaps, let me know and I'll add them to the correct section!
(Disclaimer of sorts: I sometimes have my own hangups about the recaps and recappers at TWoP. They can be super opinionated about characters and plotlines to the point where you want to slap them; they tend to create their own in-the-know nicknames for characters; some of them have big heads and are way into themselves and their recapping awesomeness. Sometimes that is great and sometimes that is off-putting; it depends entirely on the recapper. But all in all I love the site, and the TWoP readers are some of the smartest people ever; the forums are always a goldmine of show facts and tidbits. In short, for every time I roll my eyes at something on the site, there are ten times I LOL, and I hope you find the Trek recaps to be the same way. It is obvs that Keckler is a big Star Trek geek and I think her recaps are kind of endearing. So.
Also, when TWoP was bought out there was a huge reworking of their site; as a result a lot of the in-post links from older recapped series are broken. (I still miss the old, playful illustrations that accompanied the different series, sniff.) So if you click on a link in a recap and it goes nowhere or bumps you to an alphabetized list of recapped shows, that is probably why.)