TEB Day 1 Report. WE WERE THERE, HAVING MORE FUN!
Seriously, not enough people scream at events.
This is not a detailed description of the event, by the way, more of a fun post to share the atmosphere and off-screen going-ons!
So. I arrived late and had to sit through men's on my own, near overexcited schoolkids, dozens of them, chatty Russian ladies and someone's granny who kept making the stupidest comments in a REALLY LOUD VOICE. Arena is far from full, as ever.
An epilepsia-inducing light show officially opens the event. First men's group is on. Note to Ponsard, who used the same music as Plushenko did in his "Homage to Nijinski" (one of my fave LPs ever), and recycled most of his choreo as well: when you're not technically amazing, it's a verrrrry bad idea to show yourself up by copying Zhenya.
Kevin Reynolds got the first big audience reaction and actually was really good. Quote from Granny behind me: "That horrible hair just ruins everything. He'd look nice otherwise." Her grand-daughter replies: "Hm. I think it's his face, really." Aww, poor kid.
I don't really get the massive Nan Song scores, he's obviously benefitting from his recent win. Technical content is high but other than that he flails an awful lot and is quite generic.
Majorov: that was a totally fun-free Austin Powers. Didn't even get the schoolkids going. And, SKATE FASTER! You certainly have the muscle to do it with your massive legs! Never noticed it on video but they look like hams.
Florent has another sparkle-tastic costume, unfortunately his programme isn't quite as sparkling. That fall out of the spin was ghastly. He does his prancing/posing to groans of mixed disapproval and lust from the crowd.
First time I see Adam skate "for real" and he looks unbearably cute. Russian ladies are seriously impressed with his Korobushka and his angel curls. The Rippon lutz was awesome. I want to do some Japanese fangirl screaming but given how funerally quiet it is around me, it could probably get me locked up.
Oda is being worn by his shirt rather than the other way around. When he doesn't pratfall, his knees on his jump landings are gorgeously soft. As we wait for his scores, the camera cuts to a pigeon mooching about on the stairs, looking taken aback at suddendly being in the limelight. We'll see much more of him later.
I am so sick of Brezina's Ed Hardy Drums I can't even write about it. He hits everything. Blah.
And now, PChan. PChiddy, of Chanada. His fan club is using FOGHORNS. Guys, this is not a football game. Bet he falls anyway. This is the first time I see him at close range and I want to see if my opinion is going to change. He does the crazy eyes. OK, he glides like a god. Aaah, he's taken his trademark toss on the quad, good lad! Halfway through, the pigeon flies right across the arena, but (sadly?) no collision occurs.
During the break before pairs I find the orange _skaters and katiz says she hoped the pigeon would crap on PChan's head. Oh, what a moment that would have been. The _skaters, mirror_hands, katiz, bananrama & the whole orange spanish contingent offer me a spare seat, so that I may scream and boo with them. Most of the pairs aren't whelming us though. Vanessa James is so much better than her new partner it's ridiculous. Uber-scary moment as he nearly drops her. Go pump more iron, boy. Duhamel and Radford are very impressive, but Volosozhar and Trankov deserve first place, the throws and jumps are just enormous! Bazarova is so thin she looks like she could snap like a breadstick.
Ladieeeeeeeezz! I want Liza to be first but to my own amazement I'm also behind Carolina, who has won me over with her new programmes. She's fast and her flow is amazing. I last saw her live two years ago and she's transformed. Can't believe her freak PChan "fall for no apparent reason" and neither can she. The height difference between Liza and Carolina is hilarious.
We now have not one, but two stray pigeons flying around, they do an impressive synchronized swoop during Liza's skate. I think they want to compete. I also think this is a bit of a hazard for skaters. The Bercy Arena is such a joke. It's meant to be the best and biggest in Paris and it's tatty, in need of a major overhaul, and IT'S GOT A BLOODY PIGEON FAMILY LIVING IN IT!
I have so far failed to mention the incredibly shit announcer, who can't even say the simplest things in English properly, butchers the skater's names and gets about half of his facts wrong. But he's just outdone himself quite spectacularly by announcing Viktoria Helgesson as Kanako Murakami. The Japanese ladies next to us are having the biggest giggling fit. I think we've gradually rubbed off on them. Silent at the beginning, they've now taken to shrieking with laughter and seal-clapping. So proud!
Viktoria Helgesson needs to ditch either her music or her programme because they have nothing to do with each other. Her hair is so white blonde it catches the light more than sequins. Alissa is too pretty for words but I wish she was as exciting. Her spins, however, are miles ahead of her competitors'.
Zamboni time again. We ogle the VIP zone. Florent is bro-ing with everyone in sight, some of the orange crew go to have their pics taken with him and are warmly greeted. Earlier PChan was seen peacocking around and waving the Chanadian flag. Nathalie and Fabian have decided that warming up backstage is for losers and do stretches next to the K&C, then jog around the rink. You'll be pleased to hear that Fabian has stopped coughing up his lungs.
As usual, loads of people leave before ice-dance. Or it might be that the skating watch-athon is a bit much for them, it is a solid 6 hours after all.
The first warm-up group comes on and my eyes want to vomit. Why is so many people's idea of a Latin dance outfit so jaw-droppingly vile? An explosion in a paint factory, with lacy frills tacked on. Urgh. The Chinese couple is in "highlighter pen yellow" that looks even worse for real than on screen. The right sleeve on the Russian guy's outfit looks like a huge, multicoloured pipe-cleaner. Quick debate between _skaters about who's got the worst outfit. It's a draw.
The Spanish couple are fierce and actually do justice to the spirit of the thing, and get much love from us for it.
Second group. It's a completely different story, with tasteful outfits -with more mesh than actual dress material for Elena Ilinykh, but she wears it well. Katiz and myself have a fashion-gasm over Anna Cappellini's gorgeous dress, the amount of sparkle on it is off the scale and yet it looks classy. Fabian trips over his blade and nearly whacks his head on the boards, closely followed by Nathalie. They're OK but I don't like this, don't want them rattled before they even start.
Elena and Nikita go first. About 45 seconds in I catch sight of Morozov doing his voodoo dance and from then on I can't stop watching him, he doesn't just look involved, it's bordering on frightening. People move away in the K&C. The pigeons are still flying and now want in on the ice-dance. People barely notice now. Pasquale Camerlengo appears on screen and I suddendly remember who he reminds me of: a young Christopher Lee! Now hoping for vampire-themed programmes from him.
Cappellini and Lanote are better than I've ever seen them and I hope they got good PCS. We're almost bored with Tessa and Scott's perfect skating. Apart from the level of skill, the main difference between them an Chock/Bates is the dress colour. Things are getting a bit conveyor-belt in Canton.
Crowd goes nuts for Fabian and Nathalie, they seem to be loved by every nationality group I've noticed around the arena, which is rare. Despite my fears they hit everything and got a great crowd response, especially for the lift and the flip. Everyone screams their heads off but they're second. Don't think the huge gap between them and Voir is justified but hey, I'm not a judge.
Bananrama has taken about 700 pics, and now everyone is off to the hotel next door to schmooze with the skaters, and take more pics -girls, I want to know how it went and if you got some good pics and good goss! Was lovey to meet you!
I'm working tomorrow, so this is the only post I'm going to write about TEB, probably to your intense relief, if you've even read that far! Tl;dr, sorry guys I need to learn the art of concise writing!
This is not a detailed description of the event, by the way, more of a fun post to share the atmosphere and off-screen going-ons!
So. I arrived late and had to sit through men's on my own, near overexcited schoolkids, dozens of them, chatty Russian ladies and someone's granny who kept making the stupidest comments in a REALLY LOUD VOICE. Arena is far from full, as ever.
An epilepsia-inducing light show officially opens the event. First men's group is on. Note to Ponsard, who used the same music as Plushenko did in his "Homage to Nijinski" (one of my fave LPs ever), and recycled most of his choreo as well: when you're not technically amazing, it's a verrrrry bad idea to show yourself up by copying Zhenya.
Kevin Reynolds got the first big audience reaction and actually was really good. Quote from Granny behind me: "That horrible hair just ruins everything. He'd look nice otherwise." Her grand-daughter replies: "Hm. I think it's his face, really." Aww, poor kid.
I don't really get the massive Nan Song scores, he's obviously benefitting from his recent win. Technical content is high but other than that he flails an awful lot and is quite generic.
Majorov: that was a totally fun-free Austin Powers. Didn't even get the schoolkids going. And, SKATE FASTER! You certainly have the muscle to do it with your massive legs! Never noticed it on video but they look like hams.
Florent has another sparkle-tastic costume, unfortunately his programme isn't quite as sparkling. That fall out of the spin was ghastly. He does his prancing/posing to groans of mixed disapproval and lust from the crowd.
First time I see Adam skate "for real" and he looks unbearably cute. Russian ladies are seriously impressed with his Korobushka and his angel curls. The Rippon lutz was awesome. I want to do some Japanese fangirl screaming but given how funerally quiet it is around me, it could probably get me locked up.
Oda is being worn by his shirt rather than the other way around. When he doesn't pratfall, his knees on his jump landings are gorgeously soft. As we wait for his scores, the camera cuts to a pigeon mooching about on the stairs, looking taken aback at suddendly being in the limelight. We'll see much more of him later.
I am so sick of Brezina's Ed Hardy Drums I can't even write about it. He hits everything. Blah.
And now, PChan. PChiddy, of Chanada. His fan club is using FOGHORNS. Guys, this is not a football game. Bet he falls anyway. This is the first time I see him at close range and I want to see if my opinion is going to change. He does the crazy eyes. OK, he glides like a god. Aaah, he's taken his trademark toss on the quad, good lad! Halfway through, the pigeon flies right across the arena, but (sadly?) no collision occurs.
During the break before pairs I find the orange _skaters and katiz says she hoped the pigeon would crap on PChan's head. Oh, what a moment that would have been. The _skaters, mirror_hands, katiz, bananrama & the whole orange spanish contingent offer me a spare seat, so that I may scream and boo with them. Most of the pairs aren't whelming us though. Vanessa James is so much better than her new partner it's ridiculous. Uber-scary moment as he nearly drops her. Go pump more iron, boy. Duhamel and Radford are very impressive, but Volosozhar and Trankov deserve first place, the throws and jumps are just enormous! Bazarova is so thin she looks like she could snap like a breadstick.
Ladieeeeeeeezz! I want Liza to be first but to my own amazement I'm also behind Carolina, who has won me over with her new programmes. She's fast and her flow is amazing. I last saw her live two years ago and she's transformed. Can't believe her freak PChan "fall for no apparent reason" and neither can she. The height difference between Liza and Carolina is hilarious.
We now have not one, but two stray pigeons flying around, they do an impressive synchronized swoop during Liza's skate. I think they want to compete. I also think this is a bit of a hazard for skaters. The Bercy Arena is such a joke. It's meant to be the best and biggest in Paris and it's tatty, in need of a major overhaul, and IT'S GOT A BLOODY PIGEON FAMILY LIVING IN IT!
I have so far failed to mention the incredibly shit announcer, who can't even say the simplest things in English properly, butchers the skater's names and gets about half of his facts wrong. But he's just outdone himself quite spectacularly by announcing Viktoria Helgesson as Kanako Murakami. The Japanese ladies next to us are having the biggest giggling fit. I think we've gradually rubbed off on them. Silent at the beginning, they've now taken to shrieking with laughter and seal-clapping. So proud!
Viktoria Helgesson needs to ditch either her music or her programme because they have nothing to do with each other. Her hair is so white blonde it catches the light more than sequins. Alissa is too pretty for words but I wish she was as exciting. Her spins, however, are miles ahead of her competitors'.
Zamboni time again. We ogle the VIP zone. Florent is bro-ing with everyone in sight, some of the orange crew go to have their pics taken with him and are warmly greeted. Earlier PChan was seen peacocking around and waving the Chanadian flag. Nathalie and Fabian have decided that warming up backstage is for losers and do stretches next to the K&C, then jog around the rink. You'll be pleased to hear that Fabian has stopped coughing up his lungs.
As usual, loads of people leave before ice-dance. Or it might be that the skating watch-athon is a bit much for them, it is a solid 6 hours after all.
The first warm-up group comes on and my eyes want to vomit. Why is so many people's idea of a Latin dance outfit so jaw-droppingly vile? An explosion in a paint factory, with lacy frills tacked on. Urgh. The Chinese couple is in "highlighter pen yellow" that looks even worse for real than on screen. The right sleeve on the Russian guy's outfit looks like a huge, multicoloured pipe-cleaner. Quick debate between _skaters about who's got the worst outfit. It's a draw.
The Spanish couple are fierce and actually do justice to the spirit of the thing, and get much love from us for it.
Second group. It's a completely different story, with tasteful outfits -with more mesh than actual dress material for Elena Ilinykh, but she wears it well. Katiz and myself have a fashion-gasm over Anna Cappellini's gorgeous dress, the amount of sparkle on it is off the scale and yet it looks classy. Fabian trips over his blade and nearly whacks his head on the boards, closely followed by Nathalie. They're OK but I don't like this, don't want them rattled before they even start.
Elena and Nikita go first. About 45 seconds in I catch sight of Morozov doing his voodoo dance and from then on I can't stop watching him, he doesn't just look involved, it's bordering on frightening. People move away in the K&C. The pigeons are still flying and now want in on the ice-dance. People barely notice now. Pasquale Camerlengo appears on screen and I suddendly remember who he reminds me of: a young Christopher Lee! Now hoping for vampire-themed programmes from him.
Cappellini and Lanote are better than I've ever seen them and I hope they got good PCS. We're almost bored with Tessa and Scott's perfect skating. Apart from the level of skill, the main difference between them an Chock/Bates is the dress colour. Things are getting a bit conveyor-belt in Canton.
Crowd goes nuts for Fabian and Nathalie, they seem to be loved by every nationality group I've noticed around the arena, which is rare. Despite my fears they hit everything and got a great crowd response, especially for the lift and the flip. Everyone screams their heads off but they're second. Don't think the huge gap between them and Voir is justified but hey, I'm not a judge.
Bananrama has taken about 700 pics, and now everyone is off to the hotel next door to schmooze with the skaters, and take more pics -girls, I want to know how it went and if you got some good pics and good goss! Was lovey to meet you!
I'm working tomorrow, so this is the only post I'm going to write about TEB, probably to your intense relief, if you've even read that far! Tl;dr, sorry guys I need to learn the art of concise writing!