Former S.C. gov Mark Sanford engaged to ex-mistress

[lafinjack]

Comments

[flcadam]

I guess this isn't surprising, but I think it's unfortunate that he couldn't make his marriage work for the sake of his children. I'm not a big fan of divorcing and re-marrying.

[chokey_lowkey]

In his case it was divorcing in order to remarry :/

[poetic_pixie_13]

YOUR. ICON.

*_______________________________________*

[flcadam]

Yeah, I tend to think about kids and the family unit when I think about divorce. I can't say that all kids will react to divorce the same way, but the people I've known who had divorced parents have noted that it left major scars on them. Divorce can also disrupt the ability of the family to maintain wealth and build stability. For example, if two parents are splitting, then they're no longer pooling their resources together for their family

[kekekekekekeke]

me neither

[bestdaywelived]

Agreed. It's also super gross when it's one of those ultra-moral, family values shitheads who pulls this crap. It's a GREAT example for your children, to run around on their mother with some mistress and then betray the family by leaving.

I applaud Jenny for being so strong in the face of being married to such a horse's ass of a man.

[flcadam]

Yeah, I really am disappointed in Sanford for not living up to his values. It really irritates me that it seems that people who champion values tend to be the most hypocritical about said values.

I especially feel bad for his children because it's not going to be a pleasant experience for them now that their family life has been disrupted.

[paulnolan]

Eh, I can't see it being good for kids being raised by a couple who don't want to be together.

[redstar826]

Yeah. I've had a few friends who were relieved when their parents divorced (and whose relationships improved with their parents after the split) because individually they were decent people but when forced to live with each other it was a big ol' mess.

[moonshaz]

My parents were kind of like that. At least my mom was. I got so sick of listening to her whining about my dad and how miserable she was with him that by the time I was 16, I truly wished she WOULD divorce him. Either that or just stfu.

Because constantly complaining about a situation you actually have it in your power to DO something about eventually starts to, you know, erode your credibility somewhat!

[fortunaestcaeca]

This. My friend's parents went through a really nasty divorce when we were in middle school, but after the divorce was over she seemed much happier. (Though, her mom isn't what I'd call a "decent person" but that's beside the point.)

[lafinjack]

Wellllll... In an ideal world I'd rather nobody feel the need to get divorced, both from marrying for the right reasons in the first place and by the marriage staying happy, but I also think there are good and bad reasons for divorce in our not ideal world. I would draw a line between an unhappy marriage breaking up and later remarrying, and one half of the marriage not being able to keep it in their pants and divorcing to go with the extramarital partner.

[metatrix]

I think parents should only divorce if it's actually in the best interest of their kids. Like, if they can't maintain a civil relationship, or if there is abuse or one spouse treats the other with disrespect.

But simply no longer being in love or growing apart or whatever is not a good enough reason IMO to divorce when you have children. Go to marriage counselling, work on your relationship, etc. Even if that doesn't work, just maintain a civil relationship and sleep in separate bedrooms until your kids are out of the house. You shouldn't be putting your love life ahead of your kids.

[seasight]

Children are adaptable, and if you're in a dead relationship that's making you genuinely unhappy, putting your own (mental) health first is better in the long run. Divorce isn't the end of the world, and it's a whole lot healthier than living in a loveless, non-functioning marriage for "the sake of the kids". Hell, I think that would be detrimental to the kids.

I say this as someone who's been through (ie witnessed) more divorces than I can count on one hand. It's painful, but it's better than dragging it out and ruining the parent's lives for the sake of "normality".

Sometimes putting your love life ahead of your kids is the best thing you can do for them. Not if that means philandering and bedhopping and introducing your kids to a new partner every month, but if it means ending a toxic marriage (not even neccesarily an abusive or unhealthy one!) so that you can be fully emotionally available and functional for your family, jesus christ get divorced already!

/two cents

[metatrix]

I dunno, my parents had a shit marriage (like emotionally abusive, fighting constantly in front of the kids, putting us in the middle of all their fights kind of shitty), and although when I was younger I would sometimes wish they would get divorced, now that I'm older I'm actually grateful that they didn't. I think I'm better off for the fact that they stayed together