Which Mother for Isabella? Civil Union Ends in an Abduction and Questions

[redstar826]

MANAGUA, Nicaragua - Lisa A. Miller and her daughter, Isabella, started their fugitive lives here in the fall of 2009, disguised in the white scarves and long blue dresses of the Mennonites who spirited them out of the United States and adopting the aliases Sarah and Lydia

Comments

[can_be_cruel]

This is so fucking awful, and this woman is either mentally ill or severely brainwashed. I hope the poor girl is returned to her mother.

[tnganon]

ffs does someone have to come out with this bullshit every single time there's an article about people doing fucked up shit? i'm already upset enough as a lesbian reading this hateful bs, and then you gotta go with "must be mentally ill"?

also, ime, a lot of religious groups and cults try and exploit lgbtq people because we already have the internalized homophobia, we've already been raised in a culture that says we're sinners and disgusting and immoral and child abusers and going to hell. so yeah, while i'm not excusing what's she's done, i've known people who were manipulated like this because they were terrified that they were inherently sinful, dirty people because they were attracted to other women. i am LIVID at the individuals who helped her and reaffirmed that hateful worldview, and i'm pissed that with all this you had the gall to bring up mental illness.

[aprettybinding]

As a lesbian myself i understand what you're trying to say, but i feel like there has been a lot that has come out about her that does at least HINT at her having some mental issues. Just the fact that she left behind pets to die tells me there is something more going on there, because hell, even if i was on the run i'd drop my pets off at a shelter on the way because i would never be able to live with myself. I also don't think we all automatically have some internalized conflict about who we are, though i agree those religious groups thinking they can fix gay people DO target and manipulate those who do, and she seems to fit a description of that.

[tnganon]

it's not really about whether she has "mental issues" or not though - lbr, most people have some mental health problems in their life, and mental illness is fairly common.

it's the jumping to "she must be mentally ill to do that" that i'm objecting to. even if she is, it may not have been a serious contributing factor. and even if it was a serious contributing factor, the constant conjecture about how criminals must be mental is both deflecting from larger societal problems that influence behaviour, and harmful to those of us living with mental illness.

[bellichka]

IAWTC 100%

[clevermanka]

Exactly. Cruel and selfish =/= mentally unstable.

[can_be_cruel]

Why do you think it's such a huge stretch to wonder if someone who would kidnap their partner's child and move to a third world country in the name of god is mentally ill?\

Also, I'm bisexual so you can sit the fuck down with that.

[pleasure_past]

It's not really a stretch to wonder if she might have a mental illness--lots of people do. But to explicitly associate the kidnapping with mental illness is incredibly stigmatizing of mental illness in general and really hurts the millions of people out there with mental illnesses who, you know, did not kidnap a child. Mental illness is not the cause of every crime in the world. Sometimes, people who do not have any mental illnesses at all just make bad choices. Sometimes, people who do have mental illnesses just make bad choices and it's completely unrelated to their mental illnesses. Your assumption that her crime must be linked to a mental illness when there is no actual evidence that it is is really ableist.

[tnganon]

& there are a lot of people who've experienced a more transitory mental health problem, or have required counselling at some point in their life, or have a mental illness that doesn't significantly impact their crimes.

and yet, related or not, the press is going to plaster headlines like MENTALLY ILL KILLER because drama and exaggeration sell better than serious inquiry into contributing factors.

[tnganon]

lol what? are you kidding me? doing bad things doesn't mean someone's mentally ill and sorry i'm fucking sick of people armchair speculating about mental health whenever there's news about people doing shit things. i mean, maybe she is, maybe not, that's beside the point.

but there are a lot of other potential reasons for her actions including oh idk, homophobia. imo it detracts from larger societal issues by focusing on how anyone who does that must be crazy. "They're just crazy" is a great deflector from talking about larger issues of homophobia, hate crimes, racism, gun control, classism, etc.

also, on a more personal level, it's hard enough coping with news like this without the added slap in the face about mental illness.

& how does you being bisexual change any of what i said?

[can_be_cruel]

The mental illness comment was stupid, and i apologize. I suffer from mental illness as well. But you can take your patroniting lecture about internalized homophobia and be gone.

[tnganon]

it's not a patronizing lecture, it's a frustrated explanation of why it was so upsetting to see mental illness pointed at instead of the pressures of a homophobic society- in particular, the individuals who aided and encouraged this woman.

& thank you for the apology

[evewithanapple]

Also, I'm bisexual so you can sit the fuck down with that.

So am I. I'm also mentally ill, and have never, in twenty-one years of life, kidnapped and brainwashed a child.

[phamos818]

+1

[morgondag]

A++