The Fat Trap

[kangofu]

The Fat Trap
Source - NYTimes
By TARA PARKER-POPE
Published: December 28, 2011For 15 years, Joseph Proietto has been helping people lose weight. When these obese patients arrive at his weight-loss clinic in Australia, they are determined to slim down. And most of the time, he says, they do just that, sticking to the clinic’s program and dropping

Comments

[homasse]

Oh, god, I remember when my big brother tried to fat-shame me when I was twelve. It backfired on him spectacularly, mind, but GAH.

big brother: Look down.
me: *looks down*
big brother: Can you see your feet?
me: ...No.
big brother: It's because you're fat! You need to go on a diet!
me: I'm not fat!
big brother: Look down!
me: *looks down*
big brother: Can you see your feet?
me: No.
big brother: You need to go on a diet! You're too fat!
me: I'm not fat!
big brother: Can you see your feet?
me: No.
big brother: *irritated and yelling* It's because you're fat! Your stomach is in the way!
me: ...It's not my stomach that's in the way! *glare*

Then there was a long, long pause, and he looked really, really confused...and then all the blood drained out of my big brother's face as he realized his twelve-year-old baby sister had really big boobs.

In the twenty-odd years since then, he still tries to shame me, but now it's that I don't exercise enough and I make excuses ('cause, y'know, a hand in a splint with a damaged tendon, that's no reason not to do pushups, and me taking a break from walking every day because of injured ligaments is just lazy), but he has never once tried the flat-out "you're fat" tack again. I think the realization I had massive boobs at age twelve traumatized him too much. XDb

[doverz]

That is an awesome story. Unfortunately, I do not have that excuse. I have such small boobs.

[homasse]

I had to get my first bra when I was 9, and I'm pretty sure I'd be a DDD cup in American sizes now. -_-;;

But I just realized something sad - back when I was 12, I was a size twelve. Since then, I've grown about six inches. I'm still a size 12, maybe a size 10, now...and STILL my big brother tries to shame me about my body (the exercise shaming was on Christmas). Nothing's ever gonna be good enough but "stick thin."

Eff that, seriously. And eff anyone that gives you shit for how you look.

[kitschaster]

Why in the world is your brother so intent on your weight? I know that's nearly rhetorical, but still. Wtf, I'm sure he's not paying your grocery bills, and even if he were, how condescending and rude. That's none of his business. Omg. D: Though I have been secretly ogling that WiiFit now that the price is finally going down...

[homasse]

Oh, he tells me how to shop for food! And then when I tell him if I ate the way he wanted to, I'd be broke because food in Japan is a LOT more expensive than in America, he ignores me and says I'm making excuses. Basically, he's a control freak and I'm his inept, drama queen little sister who only makes bad life choices and doesn't take care of herself and BLAH BLAH BLAH.

I loved my Wii Fit. I only stopped recently when I managed to pull a muscle in my back using it, and that was amazingly special of me. Seriously, though, it's a ton of fun and a good way to exercise and stick to it, and once it's no longer ungodly cold in the morning and my legs have healed more, I'm going back to using it. When I bought mine, I vowed I had to use it for at least three months, since the cost of a Wii and Wii Fit would be equal to the cost of going to the gym and exercising for three months, and so if I used it more than 3 months, it had paid for itself.

[kitschaster]

LOL. Oh man. You're brave to continue a relationship with your brother. I've cut out all family on my dad's side. All. Family. Ever. Even my mother was astonished to see me talk so nonchalantly about my grandmother's death on my father's side. I just couldn't. You're a much better person than I am for putting up with that mess. Oh lord.

I think the moment I find a new job, and get a few bucks saved up, that is what I'm going to do. Florida weather is just so flippant, and half the time it's too hot, too rainy, or too cold. It would be a nice change. *nods* Eeeeeeeeeee!

[homasse]

Aside from the body policing, my big brother's actually OK - one of the more OK members of my family, actually. That's his one massive failing, and I've started tuning him out when he gets on his health soap box. >XD And I know his nuttiness will in some ways be good for his kids, because he makes them exercise every day anyway, and makes sure they eat right. Plus, when I called and told him I'd been diagnosed with EDS and it was genetic, so to watch out for signs in his kids (that opened the whole can of worms convo about me not trying hard enough to exercise), he was pretty quick with figuring out two of his kids had signs (he probably has it, too, since he gets sprained ankles easily and is really flexible), including one who already complained about joint pain (and at about the age when I started, and the fam started calling me a 'drama queen' for it - that was the whole reason I said anything, to avoid any of his kids getting the shit I did), and as soon as I said they should start with muscle training exercises now to help strengthen their muscles to make up for their weak ligaments, he said he'd had that covered and had already started them on it. So I know he'll research the best things for them to do and make sure they do it. I had to get an earful, but the result will be worth it in the end if it means my niece and nephew don't have to go through the crap I did as a kid.

Dooooooooo iiiiiiiiit. The Wii Fit games are SO FUN.

[kitschaster]

Well then! It seems he does have a good heart about it, so I suppose it's that same, "I care about them, and this is my way of expressing it...by bugging them a bunch and trying to police them.", then yeah. I understand that, and that's mostly what I got (get) from my mother, even if it is still very frustrating.

Soooooo glad he took your advice about the EDS, though, especially where his kids are concerned. At this age they should benefit from it greatly. I hope he gets himself checked out as well, though.

[kyra_neko_rei]

Oh wow. Being unable to afford something is an excuse now?

I think you got the better deal out of what you got and what he got. Better fat than asshole and stupid.

[crossfire]

You need to trade him in for a better brother. :(

[romp]

excellent!

[kitschaster]

*claps and cheers!*

Luckily my sister was never, ever this way with me, and really just paid me no mind for years and years. My mother, though, took all of her aggression on weight loss regimes out on me. Years later I kinda understand her frustration of not wanting me to experience life overweight the same way she has, but her tactics were painful and hurtful. Even now it's hard to relive.

But your brother sounds like kind of a putz, no offense. *grr* God forbid you actually be injured.

[homasse]

Oh, my mom was SO much worse than him when I was younger; I'm pretty sure all my self-hatred about how I look goes back to how disgusted she was over my weight. :/

And oh, injuries are just an excuse, and if I really wanted to work out, I'd find a way. Then he lectured me when I said I worked out with a barbell when I was watching TV and online by saying I wasn't exercising right if I could do other things at the same time, and thus wasn't really dedicated. ><

Not long after, my phone gave me the best Christmas present ever by deciding to hang up on him on its own. Thanks, phone!

Same brother tried to talk me out of knee surgery by saying I hadn't thought it through and I didn't really need it. Yes, big bro, you know more than the two doctors who examined by knee and declared I needed surgery. Clearly.

[kitschaster]

He's got some kind of weird, maniacal ego complex that allows him to automatically be in control of everybody around him? Holy god, I wonder if he's even in shape himself.

And yes, totally. Those doctors? Totally got their degrees in back alleys somewhere, or online for three easy peasy payments of $29.99. Oh my goodness. That's about as bad as my mother trying to talk me out of getting my poorly functioning gallbladder removed, and telling the doctors to just remove the stones. D:

I'm so glad you live so far away. >_>'

[homasse]

He's actually in pretty good shape, so I can't really fault him on that one - he actually practices what he preaches (all but literally, omfg, he's almost like an evangelical when he starts in on the Wonders of the Paleo Diet.)

*throws hands in the air* I have no idea why family thinks they know more than the people who went to school to learn how the body works.

[kitschaster]

I think they think knowing their body means they know everybody else's body, and just don't realize that bodies all work differently. :(