The Onion on the Penn state child rape scandal

[hohaiyee]

Trigger Warning: for Rape Culture, it's being satired, but it's there.

Sports Media Asks Molestation Victims What This Means For Joe Paterno's Legacy
NOVEMBER 10, 2011 |
Describing the downfall of Paterno as "clearly the most devastating thing to come out of the sex scandal," outlets from ESPN to USA Today asked Sandusky's victims if, while being

Comments

[benihime99]

"Describing the downfall of Paterno as "clearly the most devastating thing to come out of the sex scandal,"

What the actual fuck... really that is the most devastating thing... REALLY?

[gangsterdorothy]

its The Onion, a satire newspaper

[hohaiyee]

THIS article is satire.

...but I'm sure that there are people saying that in seriousness, and I need my tire iron and some bleach.

[benihime99]

yuuko <3

I'm not familiar with that newspaper the title was just too much for me

[hohaiyee]

/That's how fucking believable that shit was./

This is The Onion saying: This is what you guys have been saying...

[hohaiyee]

Apparently the Onion have print editions now, this article needs to be pinned up everywhere:

"Certainly, if you were to see me being raped, I would want you to call the police-I'm a 10-year-old boy who couldn't possibly give my consent, or even fully grasp the horror of what was happening to me," Sioux Falls, SD resident Nick Kealey, 10, said between games of Mario Kart DS. "What's really at issue here is the act of rape itself. So, yes, if you see a 10-year-old boy like me being raped, by all means, call the police. But don't just walk on by if you see, say, a teenage girl being raped in a locker room, or even a full-grown man being raped in an alleyway. These are also situations in which you should definitely call the police, and right away."

"Seeing any person get raped at any time, even just once, is more than enough reason to contact the police," Kealey added. "I can't stress that enough."

From the mouth of babes - the fucking obvious.

[doverz]

I saw it today in the Psych building at my university.

It's so sad that this has to be satire when it should be commong sense.

[sesmo]

When the Onion represents the reality, it scares the heck out of me.

[heresie_irisee]

this is why I rarely find The Onion funny -- half the time, it's virtually indistinguishable from the stuff it's trying to make fun of, and that's just sad.

[kyra_neko_rei]

Yeah, the state of reality sometimes gets to the point that the worst the Onion can do is report what people are actually saying.

I remember hearing about the JK Rowling Satanism article at about the same time I heard various adults insist that the Harry Potter books were, you guessed it, satanic.

[sankaku_atama]

Then don't get The Onion's book: Our Dumb Century. It just gets depressing, very quickly.

[myrrhmade]

NGL I totally want to put an old-school curse from my Danish grandma on these fuckers.

[wicked_g]

Like...an actual curse? I don't recall my dad ever mentioning curses from Denmark.

Well, except for when he swears and doesn't realise that our mum already translated it for us lol

[myrrhmade]

LOL, exactly! Perfect! The women hide that shit...

[wicked_g]

Seriously?? Omg, and I haven't written to my great aunts in so long...fuck. Fanden! I know I won brownie points when I lived there for two years, but goddamn.

[mirhanda]

Don't we have a tag for The Onion?