The rape of men

[the_gabih]

Of all the secrets of war, there is one that is so well kept that it exists mostly as a rumour. It is usually denied by the perpetrator and his victim. Governments, aid agencies and human rights defenders at the UN barely acknowledge its possibility. Yet every now and then someone gathers the courage to tell of it. This is just what happened on an

Comments

[itsirtou]

That was a horrifying article...jesus.

Unless I'm totally missing something, though, this line: The man has been raped, the woman has been raped. Disclosure is easy for the woman. really, really bothered me. This article shows what a real problem male rape is; I don't know why they needed to throw in a line about how "easy" (???) it is for women to disclose their rapes.

[chasingtides]

It's easier. That is to say, in some cases, especially in, for example, an NGO catering to refugee women, it is less hard to disclose.

I don't think anything about rape is easy.

[itsirtou]

if they'd said it's easier, idk i might have less of a problem with it. it's the fact that whoever said that seemed to just throw all of the shitty things women go through when deciding to disclose a rape (like people not believing her, slut shaming, etc) out of the window with just "it's easy."

[mswyrr]

Throughout the article Storr chooses to minimize the suffering and death of women and aim his critique at the organizations that have been created by women. It seemed very typical of misogyny to blame women for not doing enough for men to combat the things other men do. It might be nice if instead he encouraged his male readers in the UK to get off their asses and care about rape of all people rather than go "YEAH, WHY AREN'T THOSE NGO BITCHES DOING MORE."

[alierakieron]

Suffering is not a zero-sum game, and I wish no one ever felt the need to minimize the suffering of one to make the suffering of another real.

[itsirtou]

definitely agreed. they could have left out that quote and the article would have lost none of its power.

[mswyrr]

But Will Storr is a man, and he seems to like to assume that when things happen to people like him they're more important and horrible than when they happen to women.

[alierakieron]

I don't know that I get that impression: he's arguing that male rape victims in this particular scenario have it worse because they don't have the resources available that female victims have.

[mswyrr]

There are some women who cannot access resources. There are women whose husband's leave them and families shun them. Storr erases the experiences of those women who challenge his "IT'S WORSE FOR MEN. ALWAYS. BECAUSE THEY'RE MEN" argument.

Also, even beginning from a place of trying to say that rape is worse for person x than person y or group x than group y is wrong and bad and horrible.

He could raise awareness without doing that. He could say: this is happening to men, and resources need to be directed toward helping them without using the freaking "easier for women" arrangement.

He could, but he's a misogynist, so he doesn't.

[bloodparade]

Also, even beginning from a place of trying to say that rape is worse for person x than person y or group x than group y is wrong and bad and horrible.

Thank you for this.

[itsirtou]

i wish i knew why he thinks it's necessary to compare the two at all and argue who has it harder.

[llivla]

This this this. It should have been reworded to 'there are more accessible outlets for women,' or as you said, 'easier,' if they HAD to use that word.

[bloodparade]

The idea that it is easier for me, a woman, to disclose about my rape is both laughable and frustrating.