I don't think I will, either. Even if name-changing weren't inconvenient and confusing, the simple fact is that I consider my name to be part of my identity. I've lived 24 years with this name, and I should just scrub it off and tack on someone else's identity?
I respect that others no doubt view it differently, and think the choice is legit either way, but I'm partial to my can-you-tell-me-how-to-spell-that? last name.
That's why it pisses me off so much when some men make a big fucking fuss about women who don't want to take their husband's name. It takes real fucking entitlement nerve for a man to make it all about his wounded pride feelings when he's asking someone to rebrand themselves in a way he will likely never be expected to. If she doesn't care, cool, but family names mean things to some people. You'd think the guy who's busy trying to spread his would get that.
my surname is a name my father chose to be less conspicuous when coming to america (he came in during the iranian revolution, and his original surname was nice and muslim). so i've dealt with a fake surname all my life, and i'd like something that was truly mine.
I could see how that could feel like... a pseudonym, I guess? Or at least like something that just doesn't quite fit. If you don't mind my asking, are you considering reverting to the original surname, or are you hoping to find the right fit along the way?
My mother raised me, so I'd probably feel very differently about the prospect of changing my name if I had my father's name. Different circumstances definitely make for different feelings regarding one's current surname.
i live in france so i would be hesitant to change my surname to a muslim one, and my father and i aren't terribly close so i probably wouldn't. but i have no issues changing my surname to my future husband's/wife's, just so i can gain something closer to an identity that is actually mine.
Yep. When I was little I came up with elaborate schemes for name-changing equality, because it seemed really dumb that I would have to change my name to a boy's name because... because... because "stop asking it's tradition!"
Tradition has never been a good excuse to me, not even when I was 5.
Then I turned out to be a lesbian so it's all moot anyway, but BOY did the subject make me angry as a little kid. My last name is just as good as a boy's name!
My last name is complicated and unusual, but it's mine and it's me. Giving that up would mean letting go of a part of my family and my history that I don't want to lose. Also, having a rare last name means that preserving it is an issue. This name could end with me and my brother, so I'm hanging onto it tyvm.
You raise another good point wrt name preservation. My family name is reasonably rare, and since we tend to have more girls than guys, it'd be all too easy for our name to disappear in a single generation if we all took a husband's name.
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I respect that others no doubt view it differently, and think the choice is legit either way, but I'm partial to my can-you-tell-me-how-to-spell-that? last name.
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This always seemed hella presumptuous to me!
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My mother raised me, so I'd probably feel very differently about the prospect of changing my name if I had my father's name. Different circumstances definitely make for different feelings regarding one's current surname.
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Tradition has never been a good excuse to me, not even when I was 5.
Then I turned out to be a lesbian so it's all moot anyway, but BOY did the subject make me angry as a little kid. My last name is just as good as a boy's name!
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Hear, hear!
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My last name is complicated and unusual, but it's mine and it's me. Giving that up would mean letting go of a part of my family and my history that I don't want to lose. Also, having a rare last name means that preserving it is an issue. This name could end with me and my brother, so I'm hanging onto it tyvm.
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