The People Who Mattered in 2010
The People Who Mattered in 2010
December 17, 2010 | ISSUE 46•50
Barack Obama - Either Doing His Best In One of The Most Difficult Times In American History, Or Hitler
Barack Obama, the first black president, proved to millions this year that he is either trying his best to lead the nation during the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, or he is the modern-day incarnation of Adolph Hitler. One of the two.
In 2010, Obama made a number of political compromises while still trying to pursue many of the reforms laid out during his 2008 campaign. Also, he was a totalitarian monster comparable to the perpetrator of one of the worst genocides in history. He is either a president who passed a comprehensive health care measure despite staunch opposition from powerful private interests, or a radical-Islamist sympathizer bent on systematically dismantling American democracy and eradicating all human liberty. He either lowered taxes for most Americans while failing to communicate that effectively, or he is pure evil. Whichever.
Barack Obama, two of the most important people of 2010: the one who was elected to be president of the United States and execute laws to the best of his ability, and the one who murders senior citizens and hates all white people. Only history will say which he is for sure.
Glenn Beck - The Lone Voice Of Reason In An Age Of Hysteria
In what has increasingly become an era defined by pandemonium, rancor, and blind ignorance, one stabilizing voice emerged from the din this year to soothe the souls of Americans everywhere, make us recognize the common decency that binds us all, and supplant the poisonous aura of fear and chaos with a simple, well-thought-out message of peace, prosperity, and reconciliation.
That man is television and syndicated radio host Glenn Beck.
Every single day of 2010, Beck's quiet words of humility and reason have touched the hearts of all Americans, healing countless wounds and elevating the level of our national discourse. Indeed, just as Martin Luther King, Jr.-to whom Beck has so aptly and correctly compared himself-once showed the nation the way forward to compassion and civility, so have Beck's stunningly eloquent broadcasts, inspiring political rallies, and bestselling books reassured every living citizen that we are all joined by the same ever-beating heart of kindness, and that gentler roads lie ahead if we could all just settle down, lower our voices, and focus on solving the actual, meaningful problems of our world together.
For in these troubled times of rising unemployment, political infighting, anger, and persecution, America needs a man who can put the issues in perspective and bring us comfort; a man who cares not about race, creed, sexual orientation, or party affiliation; a man who sees beyond petty political maneuverings, emotional exploitation, greed, and opportunism; a man who encourages all of us to disregard the ceaseless clamor of ideologues and think for ourselves; a man who sees beyond his own ego and cares only for what is good and right and just. In short, it needs a man like Glenn Lee Beck.
Thank God for Glenn Beck and all he has done. After all, what would our country be like if not for him?
Julian Assange: Nobody Likes A Tattletale
Although Julian Assange sparked a media firestorm when he revealed thousands of pages of Pentagon reports proving that the U.S. military concealed more than 15,000 civilian deaths in Iraq, that rampant corruption and negligence among private contractors there poses a profound security risk, and that the U.S. State Department continually questions the strength of Russia's democracy, the fact remains that nobody wants to listen to an annoying little tattler.
Numerous sources have confirmed that the 39-year-old founder of WikiLeaks should just quit worrying about what every world power is up to, and shouldn't go squealing to everyone about how the U.S. thinks the prime minister of Italy is feckless and ineffective. While his parents probably taught him it's impolite to be a sniveling little pip-squeak, Assange still told on America for failing to investigate reports of abuse, rape, and murder by Iraqi police and soldiers, even though it's not his job to be the boss of this country. The whistle-blowing know-it-all is from Australia, so it really has nothing to do with him. Who is he trying to impress, anyway?
Seriously, get a life.
When Assange obtained evidence that an Apache helicopter killed 12 people, including two journalists, during a 2007 air strike in Baghdad, the whiny big mouth repeatedly threatened to tell on the U.S. Army, as if the whole military was going to be in soooo much trouble because of some stupid video footage. And though the Chinese government ordered attacks on American computer networks, it's still none of your beeswax, Julian. You're nothing but a big baby who wants special attention and cries all the time because world leaders call Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "Hitler" in private, but refuse to do so on the record. Boohoo! Don't you have somebody else to irritate? Everybody wants you to go away. And you have a girl's name. Creep.
Manmohan Singh - The First Sikh Prime Minister Of...Okay, Here's What A Sikh Is
As the first Sikh elected to India's highest office, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has helped change the face of…okay, just so we don't get too ahead of ourselves here, we should probably explain what a Sikh is.
So, a Sikh practices Sikhism, which is a monotheistic religion that is based on the teachings of Guru Nanek Dev Ji and was founded in 15th-century Punjab. That probably raises more questions than it answers. Anyway, before we get into all that, we should say right now that Sikhism has nothing to do with Islam. They're completely different faiths. Got it?
Oh, right, just to be clear, Punjab is a geographical region on the border of India and Pakistan, which includes both the Indian state of Punjab and the Pakistani province of Punjab. We might get back to that later, but first let's explain that Guru Nanek Dev Ji's major philosophy was that God is formless but can be found manifest in all religions. It's actually a bit more complicated than that, but for our purposes here, that should suffice.
(Monotheism, by the way, is the belief in one singular God. If you already know what monotheism is, please don't be insulted. We just want to make sure everyone's on the same page here.)
Okay, here we go: In India, 80 percent of the population is Hindu, and, you know what, let's talk about India before we get into any of that. India is the second-most populous country, behind China, and is also the world's largest democracy. Just real fast, democracy is a form of representative government where power is derived from citizens; one could argue that many so-called democracies are actually republics, but that's neither here nor there.
Actually, why don't we slow down for a second and get back to India. India is a country in South Asia, and Asia is the world's most populous continent. A continent is one of seven large landmasses on Earth, which is where we all live and is also the third planet in the solar system. Our solar system is composed of a sun and eight planets, or nine, depending on whom you ask, and is located in the Milky Way galaxy. Galaxies are massive, gravitationally bound systems of stars, gas, and dust that combine to form the universe, which is the totality of everything in existence.
Okay, where were we? Ah, yes, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was important this year.
Jan Brewer - Not Afraid To Do What The Federal Government Won't And Shouldn't
This April, when she signed into law Arizona's tough new anti-immigration policy, Gov. Jan Brewer bravely showed the nation that if the federal government wouldn't take the most draconian measures imaginable to deal with illegal aliens, then she would do it on her own.
By demanding that police check any suspicious- looking individual's immigration status, Brewer stood up for the kind of racial profiling that other politicians wouldn't, and under any circumstances shouldn't, have the guts to support. Refusing to bow down to sense or reason, Brewer also made it possible for citizens to sue police officers who fail to carry out the troublingly vague terms of the new law, no matter how much it might tie up the state's court system-a bold stance the federal government simply couldn't be bothered with.
And shouldn't be bothered with, because it's a really, really awful idea.
Like the growing tide of up and coming conservative politicians, Brewer understands that real change-the disturbing, almost surreal kind of change that drives a wedge between Americans, increases fear and xenophobia, and makes Arizona, and by extension the nation as a whole, seem impossibly backward-has to start at home.
The loon.
Liu Xiaobo - Going To Be Pretty Tough For The Chinese Government To Kill Now
For his tireless crusade against single-party rule, writer, activist, and political prisoner Liu Xiaobo won this year's Nobel Peace Prize, making it pretty tough for Chinese leaders to surreptitiously kill him now.
Liu, who is currently serving an 11-year sentence for subversion, has inspired millions fighting for human rights across the globe, and severely complicated any efforts on Beijing's part to quietly eliminate him and suppress his pro-democracy message by making it look as though he choked on some stale bread.
Chinese leaders, who consider Liu to be a threat to civil order, must be pretty peeved right about now that his high-profile status has all but ruled out the possibility of anyone believing he would suddenly commit suicide, and has ensured a fatal fall down the stairs would just look amateurish and ridiculous. Moreover, when Liu's wife was allowed to visit him following the prize announcement, the government's hands were essentially tied as far as physically harming her goes, which is a major pain for them. Given Liu's newfound celebrity, there is little Chinese officials can do but hope for a lightning strike on his cell, or an extremely localized meteor impact during the daily outdoor exercise period.
Silvio Berlusconi - I Think The Leader Of The World's 10th-Largest Economy Put Something In My Drink
"Come in," Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi said as I was ushered by an assistant into his study. "I just opened this bottle of wine. Won't you join me for a glass?"
When the controversial Italian leader asked me to see him at his villa for this profile, I was, admittedly, a little overwhelmed. I had only graduated from journalism school six months earlier, and already I would be sitting down with one of the most powerful men in the world. But despite my trepidation, I began asking him about the many scandals dogging his tenure, from alleged mafia ties, to accusations of anti-Semitism, to rumors that he had hired a teenage prostitute.
"No," said Berlusconi, handing me a glass of Lambrusco that, ooh, is actually a really, really pretty red color. "Not now. The evening is so special."
Undaunted, I pressed him about recent remarks in which he deflected allegations of philandering by saying it was "better to be fond of pretty girls than to be gay." He simply smiled at me and…is it hot? I feel hot.
Reacting to his silence, I brought up his vast media empire, and asked whether Italy could truly be called a democracy when its leader controls a majority of the television and news outlets but I don't remember taking my shoes off.
Some have suggested Berlusconi entered politics only to enrich himself and his companies, and he has since become one of the 100 wealthiest men in the world. First elected in 1994, it's really getting spinny in here, wow, Berlusconi has allowed the country to suffer through garbage strikes, garbage strikes and…
This is really strong wine, Mr. Busconi. I haven't finished my glass, and already I'm very light-headed. Light-headed. Whoa, I wonder what my mom's doing right now. This is not, you have big hands, I have questions about the "bunga bunga" parties the prime minister held, the ongoing, there's, please. Let me catch my breath.
Mr. Merlusconi? Where are my shoes?
Elena Kagan - Trust Us, She Needed This Gig Real Bad
When she became the fourth woman to join the highest court in the land last August, it was a significant moment in American history. But for newly minted Supreme Court justice Elena Kagan, it meant something so much more: a steady paycheck.
And you have no idea how bad she needed it.
Before Barack Obama nominated her to be the court's 112th justice, Kagan was having some pretty serious cash-flow issues. It's not like she was homeless, but the former solicitor general wasn't exactly living on Easy Street, either. The fact is, Elena Kagan's degrees from Princeton, Oxford, and Harvard didn't keep her from eating lentils and day-old muffins on a regular basis, but, hey, sometimes you have to do what you have to do-and now, for Kagan, that means interpreting the Constitution and starting to pay off some of those credit card bills.
Honestly, though, if it weren't for this Supreme Court justice gig and the plush Georgetown apartment, who knows where she would've wound up? She certainly didn't want to go live with her brother's family again. If they would even have her.
The best part is, after a hard day of shaping the future of the nation's legal system for generations to come, she can actually afford to go home and enjoy some cable TV for once. With HBO! Justice Kagan might even be able to splurge for DVR when Project Runway comes back on.
While it was awkward having to ask Chief Justice Roberts immediately following the judicial oath if she could get her first paycheck in advance, Elena Kagan's ship has, by all accounts, come in. Finally.
René Préval - Secretly Leading Haiti Into A Golden Age
For most countries, a Category 2 hurricane, a devastating earthquake, and a massive cholera outbreak in the same year would cause its people-and its political leaders-to completely fall apart. But most countries aren't Haiti, and most leaders aren't President René Préval, the quiet mastermind behind the impoverished island nation's secret rise to unprecedented prosperity.
While many observers who can't see the big picture characterize Préval as a typical sycophantic politician who's overwhelmed by, and incapable of responding to, growing humanitarian crises, the president is, in fact, shrewdly devising a plan to turn Haiti's high poverty rate and woeful lack of education to its advantage and remake the country as a global economic superpower.
In a stroke of genius that will someday have the international community applauding, Préval has carefully crafted the persona of a leader who appears to kowtow to the 1 percent of the population controlling half the nation's wealth-and who appears to be leaving millions of homeless earthquake victims to their own devices. But what he's actually doing is setting the stage for a dramatic, albeit confidential, Haitian comeback.
Playing his usual coy self, Préval has been unwilling to speculate when all these carefully laid plans will bear fruit, but we guess it will be 2014, maybe 2015 at the very latest.
The rest of the winners are listed at the Source:
Kathryn Bigelow, Landon Donovan, Terry Jones, Grýla, Abby Sunderland, LeBron James, and The Ones We Lost
December 17, 2010 | ISSUE 46•50
Barack Obama - Either Doing His Best In One of The Most Difficult Times In American History, Or Hitler
Barack Obama, the first black president, proved to millions this year that he is either trying his best to lead the nation during the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, or he is the modern-day incarnation of Adolph Hitler. One of the two.
In 2010, Obama made a number of political compromises while still trying to pursue many of the reforms laid out during his 2008 campaign. Also, he was a totalitarian monster comparable to the perpetrator of one of the worst genocides in history. He is either a president who passed a comprehensive health care measure despite staunch opposition from powerful private interests, or a radical-Islamist sympathizer bent on systematically dismantling American democracy and eradicating all human liberty. He either lowered taxes for most Americans while failing to communicate that effectively, or he is pure evil. Whichever.
Barack Obama, two of the most important people of 2010: the one who was elected to be president of the United States and execute laws to the best of his ability, and the one who murders senior citizens and hates all white people. Only history will say which he is for sure.
Glenn Beck - The Lone Voice Of Reason In An Age Of Hysteria
In what has increasingly become an era defined by pandemonium, rancor, and blind ignorance, one stabilizing voice emerged from the din this year to soothe the souls of Americans everywhere, make us recognize the common decency that binds us all, and supplant the poisonous aura of fear and chaos with a simple, well-thought-out message of peace, prosperity, and reconciliation.
That man is television and syndicated radio host Glenn Beck.
Every single day of 2010, Beck's quiet words of humility and reason have touched the hearts of all Americans, healing countless wounds and elevating the level of our national discourse. Indeed, just as Martin Luther King, Jr.-to whom Beck has so aptly and correctly compared himself-once showed the nation the way forward to compassion and civility, so have Beck's stunningly eloquent broadcasts, inspiring political rallies, and bestselling books reassured every living citizen that we are all joined by the same ever-beating heart of kindness, and that gentler roads lie ahead if we could all just settle down, lower our voices, and focus on solving the actual, meaningful problems of our world together.
For in these troubled times of rising unemployment, political infighting, anger, and persecution, America needs a man who can put the issues in perspective and bring us comfort; a man who cares not about race, creed, sexual orientation, or party affiliation; a man who sees beyond petty political maneuverings, emotional exploitation, greed, and opportunism; a man who encourages all of us to disregard the ceaseless clamor of ideologues and think for ourselves; a man who sees beyond his own ego and cares only for what is good and right and just. In short, it needs a man like Glenn Lee Beck.
Thank God for Glenn Beck and all he has done. After all, what would our country be like if not for him?
Julian Assange: Nobody Likes A Tattletale
Although Julian Assange sparked a media firestorm when he revealed thousands of pages of Pentagon reports proving that the U.S. military concealed more than 15,000 civilian deaths in Iraq, that rampant corruption and negligence among private contractors there poses a profound security risk, and that the U.S. State Department continually questions the strength of Russia's democracy, the fact remains that nobody wants to listen to an annoying little tattler.
Numerous sources have confirmed that the 39-year-old founder of WikiLeaks should just quit worrying about what every world power is up to, and shouldn't go squealing to everyone about how the U.S. thinks the prime minister of Italy is feckless and ineffective. While his parents probably taught him it's impolite to be a sniveling little pip-squeak, Assange still told on America for failing to investigate reports of abuse, rape, and murder by Iraqi police and soldiers, even though it's not his job to be the boss of this country. The whistle-blowing know-it-all is from Australia, so it really has nothing to do with him. Who is he trying to impress, anyway?
Seriously, get a life.
When Assange obtained evidence that an Apache helicopter killed 12 people, including two journalists, during a 2007 air strike in Baghdad, the whiny big mouth repeatedly threatened to tell on the U.S. Army, as if the whole military was going to be in soooo much trouble because of some stupid video footage. And though the Chinese government ordered attacks on American computer networks, it's still none of your beeswax, Julian. You're nothing but a big baby who wants special attention and cries all the time because world leaders call Mahmoud Ahmadinejad "Hitler" in private, but refuse to do so on the record. Boohoo! Don't you have somebody else to irritate? Everybody wants you to go away. And you have a girl's name. Creep.
Manmohan Singh - The First Sikh Prime Minister Of...Okay, Here's What A Sikh Is
As the first Sikh elected to India's highest office, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh has helped change the face of…okay, just so we don't get too ahead of ourselves here, we should probably explain what a Sikh is.
So, a Sikh practices Sikhism, which is a monotheistic religion that is based on the teachings of Guru Nanek Dev Ji and was founded in 15th-century Punjab. That probably raises more questions than it answers. Anyway, before we get into all that, we should say right now that Sikhism has nothing to do with Islam. They're completely different faiths. Got it?
Oh, right, just to be clear, Punjab is a geographical region on the border of India and Pakistan, which includes both the Indian state of Punjab and the Pakistani province of Punjab. We might get back to that later, but first let's explain that Guru Nanek Dev Ji's major philosophy was that God is formless but can be found manifest in all religions. It's actually a bit more complicated than that, but for our purposes here, that should suffice.
(Monotheism, by the way, is the belief in one singular God. If you already know what monotheism is, please don't be insulted. We just want to make sure everyone's on the same page here.)
Okay, here we go: In India, 80 percent of the population is Hindu, and, you know what, let's talk about India before we get into any of that. India is the second-most populous country, behind China, and is also the world's largest democracy. Just real fast, democracy is a form of representative government where power is derived from citizens; one could argue that many so-called democracies are actually republics, but that's neither here nor there.
Actually, why don't we slow down for a second and get back to India. India is a country in South Asia, and Asia is the world's most populous continent. A continent is one of seven large landmasses on Earth, which is where we all live and is also the third planet in the solar system. Our solar system is composed of a sun and eight planets, or nine, depending on whom you ask, and is located in the Milky Way galaxy. Galaxies are massive, gravitationally bound systems of stars, gas, and dust that combine to form the universe, which is the totality of everything in existence.
Okay, where were we? Ah, yes, Prime Minister Manmohan Singh was important this year.
Jan Brewer - Not Afraid To Do What The Federal Government Won't And Shouldn't
This April, when she signed into law Arizona's tough new anti-immigration policy, Gov. Jan Brewer bravely showed the nation that if the federal government wouldn't take the most draconian measures imaginable to deal with illegal aliens, then she would do it on her own.
By demanding that police check any suspicious- looking individual's immigration status, Brewer stood up for the kind of racial profiling that other politicians wouldn't, and under any circumstances shouldn't, have the guts to support. Refusing to bow down to sense or reason, Brewer also made it possible for citizens to sue police officers who fail to carry out the troublingly vague terms of the new law, no matter how much it might tie up the state's court system-a bold stance the federal government simply couldn't be bothered with.
And shouldn't be bothered with, because it's a really, really awful idea.
Like the growing tide of up and coming conservative politicians, Brewer understands that real change-the disturbing, almost surreal kind of change that drives a wedge between Americans, increases fear and xenophobia, and makes Arizona, and by extension the nation as a whole, seem impossibly backward-has to start at home.
The loon.
Liu Xiaobo - Going To Be Pretty Tough For The Chinese Government To Kill Now
For his tireless crusade against single-party rule, writer, activist, and political prisoner Liu Xiaobo won this year's Nobel Peace Prize, making it pretty tough for Chinese leaders to surreptitiously kill him now.
Liu, who is currently serving an 11-year sentence for subversion, has inspired millions fighting for human rights across the globe, and severely complicated any efforts on Beijing's part to quietly eliminate him and suppress his pro-democracy message by making it look as though he choked on some stale bread.
Chinese leaders, who consider Liu to be a threat to civil order, must be pretty peeved right about now that his high-profile status has all but ruled out the possibility of anyone believing he would suddenly commit suicide, and has ensured a fatal fall down the stairs would just look amateurish and ridiculous. Moreover, when Liu's wife was allowed to visit him following the prize announcement, the government's hands were essentially tied as far as physically harming her goes, which is a major pain for them. Given Liu's newfound celebrity, there is little Chinese officials can do but hope for a lightning strike on his cell, or an extremely localized meteor impact during the daily outdoor exercise period.
Silvio Berlusconi - I Think The Leader Of The World's 10th-Largest Economy Put Something In My Drink
"Come in," Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi said as I was ushered by an assistant into his study. "I just opened this bottle of wine. Won't you join me for a glass?"
When the controversial Italian leader asked me to see him at his villa for this profile, I was, admittedly, a little overwhelmed. I had only graduated from journalism school six months earlier, and already I would be sitting down with one of the most powerful men in the world. But despite my trepidation, I began asking him about the many scandals dogging his tenure, from alleged mafia ties, to accusations of anti-Semitism, to rumors that he had hired a teenage prostitute.
"No," said Berlusconi, handing me a glass of Lambrusco that, ooh, is actually a really, really pretty red color. "Not now. The evening is so special."
Undaunted, I pressed him about recent remarks in which he deflected allegations of philandering by saying it was "better to be fond of pretty girls than to be gay." He simply smiled at me and…is it hot? I feel hot.
Reacting to his silence, I brought up his vast media empire, and asked whether Italy could truly be called a democracy when its leader controls a majority of the television and news outlets but I don't remember taking my shoes off.
Some have suggested Berlusconi entered politics only to enrich himself and his companies, and he has since become one of the 100 wealthiest men in the world. First elected in 1994, it's really getting spinny in here, wow, Berlusconi has allowed the country to suffer through garbage strikes, garbage strikes and…
This is really strong wine, Mr. Busconi. I haven't finished my glass, and already I'm very light-headed. Light-headed. Whoa, I wonder what my mom's doing right now. This is not, you have big hands, I have questions about the "bunga bunga" parties the prime minister held, the ongoing, there's, please. Let me catch my breath.
Mr. Merlusconi? Where are my shoes?
Elena Kagan - Trust Us, She Needed This Gig Real Bad
When she became the fourth woman to join the highest court in the land last August, it was a significant moment in American history. But for newly minted Supreme Court justice Elena Kagan, it meant something so much more: a steady paycheck.
And you have no idea how bad she needed it.
Before Barack Obama nominated her to be the court's 112th justice, Kagan was having some pretty serious cash-flow issues. It's not like she was homeless, but the former solicitor general wasn't exactly living on Easy Street, either. The fact is, Elena Kagan's degrees from Princeton, Oxford, and Harvard didn't keep her from eating lentils and day-old muffins on a regular basis, but, hey, sometimes you have to do what you have to do-and now, for Kagan, that means interpreting the Constitution and starting to pay off some of those credit card bills.
Honestly, though, if it weren't for this Supreme Court justice gig and the plush Georgetown apartment, who knows where she would've wound up? She certainly didn't want to go live with her brother's family again. If they would even have her.
The best part is, after a hard day of shaping the future of the nation's legal system for generations to come, she can actually afford to go home and enjoy some cable TV for once. With HBO! Justice Kagan might even be able to splurge for DVR when Project Runway comes back on.
While it was awkward having to ask Chief Justice Roberts immediately following the judicial oath if she could get her first paycheck in advance, Elena Kagan's ship has, by all accounts, come in. Finally.
René Préval - Secretly Leading Haiti Into A Golden Age
For most countries, a Category 2 hurricane, a devastating earthquake, and a massive cholera outbreak in the same year would cause its people-and its political leaders-to completely fall apart. But most countries aren't Haiti, and most leaders aren't President René Préval, the quiet mastermind behind the impoverished island nation's secret rise to unprecedented prosperity.
While many observers who can't see the big picture characterize Préval as a typical sycophantic politician who's overwhelmed by, and incapable of responding to, growing humanitarian crises, the president is, in fact, shrewdly devising a plan to turn Haiti's high poverty rate and woeful lack of education to its advantage and remake the country as a global economic superpower.
In a stroke of genius that will someday have the international community applauding, Préval has carefully crafted the persona of a leader who appears to kowtow to the 1 percent of the population controlling half the nation's wealth-and who appears to be leaving millions of homeless earthquake victims to their own devices. But what he's actually doing is setting the stage for a dramatic, albeit confidential, Haitian comeback.
Playing his usual coy self, Préval has been unwilling to speculate when all these carefully laid plans will bear fruit, but we guess it will be 2014, maybe 2015 at the very latest.
The rest of the winners are listed at the Source:
Kathryn Bigelow, Landon Donovan, Terry Jones, Grýla, Abby Sunderland, LeBron James, and The Ones We Lost