i am so worn down from street harassment. i've started doing things that aren't safe like giving guys the finger or screaming at them, but i've just hit the breaking point. last summer a man with two giant confederate flags hanging on the back of his giant truck (we live in ny) slowed down and cat-called my sister and i and i just completely lost my shit and started screaming as he drove away, and i haven't been able to control myself since. i am tired of feeling like i just have to take it. i could go on forever about everything i've gone through within feet of my own home, but i won't because it will only make me upset.
Some lovely comments I have gotten over the years:
(1) While walking my dog (=dog was on a leash):
"I wish I could take the place of the dog!"
(2) While walking to school a few years ago:
"Hey baby I have a really big one!"
(3) Why do men think this is ok...
"Stop following me!" Me, to a man who had followed me all the way home from a bookstore about two years ago. I turned around and yelled at him to stop following me and he basically ran away.
(4) Then of course there were the men who yelled at me from a car while I was jogging and commented on my weight (apparently it was too high for them). I was enjoying my run until they ruined it for me.
(5) Again, why do men think this is ok...
I had stopped on the street when an unknown man came up and smacked my ass. He thought it was really funny, despite the fact that I yelled at him and seriously asked him why he thought it was okay to do this.
I live and work in DC and it is so bad here I don't even remember the last time I went outside without being harassed. It's mostly white, affluent-looking men dressed like they're on their way to the office. It's almost always in broad daylight on busy sidewalks, and people always, always look the other way and pretend they see nothing. This happens whether it's standard flirting, crude comments, or actual physical aggression. I've gotten physical aggression (shaking, shoving, spitting, pulling on my arm) for responding angrily, for ignoring the harasser, or for saying "No thanks, I'm taken." There's no way to predict how dangerous the man is.
It actually got worse when I gained weight - I get a lot more people angry that I'm not grateful for the "attention."
It's completely out of control here and it scares the hell out of me. I never leave the house without pepper spray (which you have to register with the cops here).
PS - Today's harassment was a man who followed me for a block making loud pig noises.
I never experienced catcalling till I visited the US a few year ago (probably because catcalling isnt really a thing in countries I lived in). I'd experienced other forms of sexual harrassment before, but being catcalled for the first time was really jarring.
I think the worst one was I was walking in broad daylight on a weekday and this car pulled up next to me and the guy proceeded to follow my pace for about 10 minutes, saying the lewdest things. He kept saying how he'd never slept with an Asian girl (in a much cruder way) along with some other things I won't mention and when I ignored him, he threatened to get out of his car. The only reason nothing happened was I got to a part of town with more people and he drove off. I was so relieved that my legs gave out and I sat shaking on the pavement for a bit.
Comments 31
Reply
Reply
Just please pleas please be safe.
Reply
Reply
(1) While walking my dog (=dog was on a leash):
"I wish I could take the place of the dog!"
(2) While walking to school a few years ago:
"Hey baby I have a really big one!"
(3) Why do men think this is ok...
"Stop following me!" Me, to a man who had followed me all the way home from a bookstore about two years ago. I turned around and yelled at him to stop following me and he basically ran away.
(4) Then of course there were the men who yelled at me from a car while I was jogging and commented on my weight (apparently it was too high for them). I was enjoying my run until they ruined it for me.
(5) Again, why do men think this is ok...
I had stopped on the street when an unknown man came up and smacked my ass. He thought it was really funny, despite the fact that I yelled at him and seriously asked him why he thought it was okay to do this.
These are just random examples, you understand.
(Edited for clarity)
Reply
It actually got worse when I gained weight - I get a lot more people angry that I'm not grateful for the "attention."
It's completely out of control here and it scares the hell out of me. I never leave the house without pepper spray (which you have to register with the cops here).
PS - Today's harassment was a man who followed me for a block making loud pig noises.
Reply
I never experienced catcalling till I visited the US a few year ago (probably because catcalling isnt really a thing in countries I lived in). I'd experienced other forms of sexual harrassment before, but being catcalled for the first time was really jarring.
I think the worst one was I was walking in broad daylight on a weekday and this car pulled up next to me and the guy proceeded to follow my pace for about 10 minutes, saying the lewdest things. He kept saying how he'd never slept with an Asian girl (in a much cruder way) along with some other things I won't mention and when I ignored him, he threatened to get out of his car. The only reason nothing happened was I got to a part of town with more people and he drove off. I was so relieved that my legs gave out and I sat shaking on the pavement for a bit.
Reply
I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Reply
Leave a comment