John Kasich Confused About Why Women Objected To His Sexual Assault Victim-Blaming Comments
Gov. John Kasich (R-OH) said on Sunday that he does not understand the criticism over his comments Friday suggesting that college women should prevent sexual assaults by avoiding parties with alcohol.
In an interview with CNN’s Dana Bash, the Republican presidential hopeful noted that his own daughters will someday go to college parties where there ( Read more... )
In an interview with CNN’s Dana Bash, the Republican presidential hopeful noted that his own daughters will someday go to college parties where there ( Read more... )
The second is the one that bothered me the most, because it was a rape roleplay BDSM scene, and she pushed past my "soft" safeword. It's probable she was acting in character, but ... okay, as a possible partial result of this, I started to realize I am more switchy, and it's only been now, 12yrs later, that I've been able to explore the sub side again. But I've spent a lot of time as a domme, and even in a roleplay scenario, I would hear a soft safeword, however it was phrased, and stop to check in. Breaking the "mood" is less important than making sure your sub/bottom is okay. If you sort things out and can't get back into the "mood", then you either stop or alter the scene, depending on what the sub/bottom want. Also, depending on how comfortable I am; something I think a lot of dommes don't realize is that yes, they can safeword, too. I have done so before because I wasn't confident that we could just move on without potential harm, or simply because I wasn't comfortable doing some of the things asked. (If you hadn't guessed, this is a soapbox of mine.)
I don't think she knows that these would be considered rapes, but she does know they hurt me, especially the second incident. After we ended our relationship, she decided she wasn't really wired well for poly because of various mental health and traumatic issues. What she did as a result of those is what I refer to as more traumatic than the rapes.
I don't think she knows that these would be considered rapes, but she does know they hurt me. I've talked with her in some detail recently after getting back in touch with my nieces (for about a year when I lived there, I was effective co-parent because she was too ill to get out of bed or off the couch most days, and my boyfriend worked crazy hours, so the girls very much remember and love their Auntie Nonny... and holy shit, they're 21 and 18, where the hell did time go!?).
She has properly, in detail, apologized for what she did, mentioned that she got into therapy and on medication for the unresolved issues that were causing her to lash out, and has not had another partner since (confirmed by nieces). What she did to me is not okay, but I know it's very uncommon for someone who was abusive to make that kind of effort and be successful, it's been twelve years so the trauma that remains is very dulled, and I *PERSONALLY* have chosen to forgive her. Note: I do NOT absolutely NOT apply this to anyone else or say it's what they should do; it's how *I* deal with these situations, period, and I'm aware that I am an EXTREME outlier and abnormality.
That doesn't mean I'll forget it or allow myself in a position where I can be hurt again, but the apology was more than I ever thought I'd get, and I miss my friend. My fiancee, who is on this community (omimouse), does not understand how I can forgive someone who did these things to me. All I can say is, different people respond differently. I don't want to carry around the baggage, it was a real apology backed up with action, and closure and being able to move on, whether or not I remain friends with the person, is important to me.
Side note, but it has been joked that with my ability to forgive and rebuild a friendship with someone who hurt me, I am far more Christian than many Christians, and I'm pagan. This amuses me because I hear it from both Christians and pagans. I tell people that for reasons of having a clue by forest in a particularly vivid vision-dream (If curious, I'll explain, but I know the community is a bit twitchy on "woo" so I ask first; if someone wants to know, others can deal), I am pagan because the Christian path isn't mine (too many limitations), but I consider Christ my Father-God and Bast my Mother-Goddess. Pagan response is usually about like this: o__O
ANYWAY. Those aren't even ALL of the rapes (by technicality, seven; I count them, but only about three were actually traumatic, and it did not take me long to recover.
(ct'd... again... hopefully the next will be the last)
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