Teen Girl Kicked Out Of Prom So Her Dress Wouldn’t Lead Boys To ‘Think Impure Thoughts’
A 17-year-old high schooler from Virginia says she was kicked out of her prombecause the parental chaperones were worried she was inspiring “impure thoughts” among the boys in attendance. Even though her dress adhered to the “fingertip length” dress code requirement, she was asked to leave.
Clare recounts her experience in a guest post on her sister’s blog. After Clare and her boyfriend bought tickets to the Richmond Homeschool Prom, she bought a new dress that she made sure was long enough according to the event’s “fingertip length” rule. But Clare is 5’9″, and even though the hem of her dress was within the guidelines, she says her long legs led some chaperones to assume she was breaking the dress code.
After Clare and her friends hung out a little bit on the dance floor - she writes that they weren’t even dancing, just “swaying with the music and talking and enjoying ourselves” - Clare was pulled away by one of the dance’s organizers, who told her that some of the fathers chaperoning the event had complained about her. They reportedly said that her dancing was too “provocative” and she was going to “cause the young men at the prom to think impure thoughts.”
When Clare protested that she wasn’t even doing anything, she was told that her dress was too short and she needed to leave. She says she demanded to speak with the woman who was in charge of the prom, but the other chaperones refused to let her.
“I was told that the way I dressed and moved my body was causing men to think inappropriately about me, implying that it is my responsibility to control other people’s thoughts and drives,” Clare writes in her blog post. “I’m not responsible for some perverted 45 year old dad lusting after me because I have a sparkly dress on and a big ass for a teenager. And if you think I am, then maybe you’re part of the problem.”
The so-called “fingertip rule” is a common dress code requirement in public schools to monitor girls’ hemlines. But Clare isn’t the first student to complain that it doesn’t accurately reflect different body types. Last week, an eighth grader in California wrote a letter to the editor of the Merced Sun-Star arguing that it’s a bad way for schools to regulate shorts. “Some girls have longer arms, almost to their knees, and others have arms that end about quarter of the way down their thighs. How is enforcing this rule equal and fair if fingertip-length varies?” she pointed out.
More broadly, Clare’s story is just the latest installment in a long line of examples of schools telling girls to cover up so they don’t distract their male peers. Ultimately, that attitude teaches girls that it’s their responsibility to prevent themselves from being ogled, rather than teaching boys to have the self-control to refrain from objectifying their classmates. It’s one of many ways that women are unfairly punished for their sexuality, and it’s exactly the type of framing that contributes to rape culture.
“I am so tired of people who abuse their power to make women feel violated and ashamed because she has an ass, or has breasts, or has long legs,” Clare writes, explaining that she decided to share her story because she’s hardly the only young woman to have this type of experience.
According to Opposing Views, the Richmond Homeschool Prom’s Facebook page was quickly inundated with negative comments about the incident. The page’s administrators deleted all the comments and shut down the page.
Source
Clare's guest blog post, which is worth reading because it contains additional details, including a comment about being "a little grossed out by all the dads on the balcony above the dance floor, ogling and talking amongst themselves."
Let's cut the crap and call this what it is: Slut shaming, with a capital S L U T. Served up with an extra dollop of "ewwww" on the side, due to those horny dads checking out the girls and complaining about one girl's dress because they were too turned on by it didn't approve of it.
P.S. Since when do teenage boys need any help to think "impure thoughts"? I didn't think even the presence of an attractive person was necessary, much less an attractive person dressed in a certain kind of attire. From what I know, most teenage boys are quite capable of generating their own (endless supply of) "impure thoughts," without any additional help at all!
P.P.S. It's been pointed out that this story is old, and I acknowledge that. I didn't realize it at the time I posted it. I was surfing around at ThinkProgress and somehow ended up on this story, after clicking from one story to another that was linked on the same page a few times. I'm not sure how I stumbled on the prom story, but I did and I didn't think to check the date before I posted it to the mod queue.
I realized the date problem shortly after posting and debated whether to asked the mods to kill the post; but before I made up my mind, the post showed up and started getting comments. In view of the comments, it seems appropriate to just leave well enough alone. Even though this story is old, it's still pertinent, and with "prom season" coming up in the next couple of months, it's even somewhat timely (in an outdated sort of way, lol).
Clare recounts her experience in a guest post on her sister’s blog. After Clare and her boyfriend bought tickets to the Richmond Homeschool Prom, she bought a new dress that she made sure was long enough according to the event’s “fingertip length” rule. But Clare is 5’9″, and even though the hem of her dress was within the guidelines, she says her long legs led some chaperones to assume she was breaking the dress code.
After Clare and her friends hung out a little bit on the dance floor - she writes that they weren’t even dancing, just “swaying with the music and talking and enjoying ourselves” - Clare was pulled away by one of the dance’s organizers, who told her that some of the fathers chaperoning the event had complained about her. They reportedly said that her dancing was too “provocative” and she was going to “cause the young men at the prom to think impure thoughts.”
When Clare protested that she wasn’t even doing anything, she was told that her dress was too short and she needed to leave. She says she demanded to speak with the woman who was in charge of the prom, but the other chaperones refused to let her.
“I was told that the way I dressed and moved my body was causing men to think inappropriately about me, implying that it is my responsibility to control other people’s thoughts and drives,” Clare writes in her blog post. “I’m not responsible for some perverted 45 year old dad lusting after me because I have a sparkly dress on and a big ass for a teenager. And if you think I am, then maybe you’re part of the problem.”
The so-called “fingertip rule” is a common dress code requirement in public schools to monitor girls’ hemlines. But Clare isn’t the first student to complain that it doesn’t accurately reflect different body types. Last week, an eighth grader in California wrote a letter to the editor of the Merced Sun-Star arguing that it’s a bad way for schools to regulate shorts. “Some girls have longer arms, almost to their knees, and others have arms that end about quarter of the way down their thighs. How is enforcing this rule equal and fair if fingertip-length varies?” she pointed out.
More broadly, Clare’s story is just the latest installment in a long line of examples of schools telling girls to cover up so they don’t distract their male peers. Ultimately, that attitude teaches girls that it’s their responsibility to prevent themselves from being ogled, rather than teaching boys to have the self-control to refrain from objectifying their classmates. It’s one of many ways that women are unfairly punished for their sexuality, and it’s exactly the type of framing that contributes to rape culture.
“I am so tired of people who abuse their power to make women feel violated and ashamed because she has an ass, or has breasts, or has long legs,” Clare writes, explaining that she decided to share her story because she’s hardly the only young woman to have this type of experience.
According to Opposing Views, the Richmond Homeschool Prom’s Facebook page was quickly inundated with negative comments about the incident. The page’s administrators deleted all the comments and shut down the page.
Source
Clare's guest blog post, which is worth reading because it contains additional details, including a comment about being "a little grossed out by all the dads on the balcony above the dance floor, ogling and talking amongst themselves."
Let's cut the crap and call this what it is: Slut shaming, with a capital S L U T. Served up with an extra dollop of "ewwww" on the side, due to those horny dads checking out the girls and complaining about one girl's dress because they were too turned on by it didn't approve of it.
P.S. Since when do teenage boys need any help to think "impure thoughts"? I didn't think even the presence of an attractive person was necessary, much less an attractive person dressed in a certain kind of attire. From what I know, most teenage boys are quite capable of generating their own (endless supply of) "impure thoughts," without any additional help at all!
P.P.S. It's been pointed out that this story is old, and I acknowledge that. I didn't realize it at the time I posted it. I was surfing around at ThinkProgress and somehow ended up on this story, after clicking from one story to another that was linked on the same page a few times. I'm not sure how I stumbled on the prom story, but I did and I didn't think to check the date before I posted it to the mod queue.
I realized the date problem shortly after posting and debated whether to asked the mods to kill the post; but before I made up my mind, the post showed up and started getting comments. In view of the comments, it seems appropriate to just leave well enough alone. Even though this story is old, it's still pertinent, and with "prom season" coming up in the next couple of months, it's even somewhat timely (in an outdated sort of way, lol).