California Fining ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’ Participants for Wasting Water
Local authorities in California are handing out massive fines to anyone participating in the "ALS Ice Bucket Challenge" fundraiser on the grounds they are wasting water.
In Los Angeles, which is living through its worst drought in generations, the Department of Water & Power and the Police Department have long been cracking down on unnecessary water usage.
At first there were simple restrictions, such as limiting the watering of landscapes, boats, aircrafts etc. But now the “Water Police” have targeted people participating in the Ice Bucket Challenge, a viral campaign meant to raise awareness for the rare neurological disorder Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS).
The challenge involves participants video taping themselves pouring ice water onto their heads, then challenging their friends to do the same. Those who refuse are pressured to donate $100 to the disease.
“We're saving a lot of time since people are posting their crime directly to social media,” said Chip Masters, the president of the Department of Water and power. “One day, my entire Facebook feed was filled with these attention hungry morons pouring gallons of ice water over themselves. I couldn't believe it.
"I did the math and realized that thousands of gallons of water were being wasted, in the middle of one of the most terrible droughts California has seen in decades.”
It was then Masters joined with the police force and new water restriction were instated. As of Aug. 15, any person or persons who are participating in the ice bucket challenge will be fined $500, as part of the Water Conservation Act.
Within seconds, Masters saw a USC sorority post a video of the entire 50-person chapter standing on their house steps in bikinis, as they took turns pouring roughly 5 gallons of ice cubes over their heads. The video is about 20 minutes long as each sister goes on to nominate their “BFFAEAEs (Best Friends For Ever And Ever).”
The sorority was fined $500 a person for their Ice bucket challenge video. Totaling in about $25,000 in fines, roughly a third of the tuition for the University. The sorority is expected to have wasted over 250 gallons of water, which is almost enough to fill a hot tub.
Greek Austerity
Tiffani Tanya Thomas, the president of USC’s Alpha Epsilon Phi chapter, said, “I did it for the ice bucket challenge. It just sucks we got caught and now have to pay all this money.
“I mean, we’re in college so obviously we’re poor. I can’t even. I mean sure, I still have my daddy’s credit card. Who doesn’t?! But I’m saving up for Coachella next year. And molly and Urban Outfitters are like super expensive, ya know? But whatever, it’s worth it.
“Hopefully this fine will help raise even more awareness for suffering students that are learning English as a second language.” Thomas thought ESL, English As A Second Language, and ALS are the same thing.
The city of Los Angeles is urging all people to stop posting Ice Bucket Challenge videos in conservation of water. “Perhaps these idiots can make it the Ice Cup challenge or do something really crazy and actually donate money to the disease?”
Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was also just fined. “I was happy to hand over the pocket change. I think it’s admirable that they’re cracking down on this. And Facebook is thrilled to be a part of the Water Conservation Act. Heck, I’m a criminal. Which is great because I think a mugshot would make a great profile picture.”
“Also, I’m grateful that I got to use my ice bucket challenge video to remind people that I am friends with very important people.” Zuckerberg nominated Bill Gates and the CEO of Netflix Reed Hastings.
The fines collected will be split between the LAPD and the DWP. None of the fines collected will be donated to ALS.
[dailycurrant]