Adoptive mothers stunned when infant dies after being reclaimed by birth parents

Apr 29, 2014 04:35

An Ankeny couple thought they had adopted a son until a month ago, but his birth mother changed her mind - and now the 4-month-old infant is dead, with his father charged with neglect.

The 17-year-old father most likely faces additional charges, Des Moines police said.

Drew James Weehler-Smith of Des Moines was charged with neglect of a dependent person after he left 4-month-old Gabriel alone in an apartment, police said.

Rachel and Heidi McFarland of Ankeny had cared for Gabriel from birth until the middle of March, when his mother took him back.

On Wednesday, the couple were watching the news on TV when they learned Gabriel had died.


"It's like he's been taken away from you again," Rachel McFarland said.

The McFarlands have been together for 18 years and married for five. They looked forward after Gabriel's adoption to having a thriving family.

"We brought him home from the hospital," Rachel McFarland said. "I cut his umbilical cord."

After that, she said, she spent every waking moment with him until he returned to his birth mother.

"We had to go through our worst possible day with our attorney" when he was taken back, McFarland said. "And then we found out on the news today. ... Nobody called or told me."

Officers and medics responded to a 911 call from an apartment in the 6500 block of Chaffee Road about 8:20 p.m. Tuesday on reports of an unresponsive infant, according to police reports.

The infant's mother had left the baby with his father while she went to the library and to run errands, police said. She left the apartment around 7:25 p.m., police said.

Around 7:50 p.m., a friend went to the apartment to pick up a phone charger and saw Weehler-Smith holding the baby. The friend left and called the baby's mother, asking if she trusted Weehler-Smith with Gabriel, police said. The mother asked her friend to stay.

As the friend returned to the apartment complex, she saw Weehler-Smith driving away without the infant, authorities said. She called the child's mother, who raced home, officials said.

The child's mother found Gabriel unresponsive in a glider chair, with a bottle beside him, police reports show. The baby had a white substance around his mouth; when the mother picked up the infant, she didn't think he was breathing, police said.

The child was pronounced dead at a local hospital, authorities said.

The child's mother and her friend said they tried several times to call Weehler-Smith, who didn't answer the phone. Police eventually located him and charged him with neglect of a dependent person for leaving the baby alone in the apartment.

Additional charges are possible, pending results of an autopsy and additional investigation, officials said.

The death comes on the heels of two other deaths of young children in Des Moines.

On April 15, officers responded to a 911 call from a home in the 3600 block of Southeast 11th Street, Des Moines Police Sgt. Jason Halifax said. The home's occupant said she woke up and found her 5-month-old child on the floor. The baby was pronounced dead at a local hospital, police said. The case remains under investigation.

And on Monday, a 4-year-old was killed in an unintentional shooting. Police have not said who fired the gun.

"We investigate deaths of babies regularly, but more often than not it's something medical," Halifax said. "And usually it's not back to back like this."

Rachel McFarland said that she and her wife are left with unanswered questions but that they have a strong relationship and lots of support.

"I refuse to let them ruin our lives," she said. "We're just left to put the pieces back together."

Source.

Please tell me again how this poor darling was "better off" with the teenagers that gave him up, instead of a couple prepared to do everything under the sun to make his life good? Blogs are reporting Gabriel was at least partially deaf, and being fitted with a hearing aid. Both adoptive mothers were learning sign language and one had quit her job to care for him at home.

The adoption was not finalized and he was returned to his biological mother. Now, the father is being charged with murder after being alone with the baby for less than an hour. Just.....Such a messed up situation.

Thanks to mimblexwimble for finding more about this tragedy.

ETA: Sexuality mentioned because I found the story on a blog about LGBT parenting and adoption issues. Dunno how much it actually played into the legal issues of this case, but it definitely hits on the argument that mom + dad is always better than same sex couples.

Revenge of ETA: Cause of death is "abusive head trauma" and the father is being charged with 1st degree murder.

murder, child abuse / csa, *trigger warning: child abuse / csa, *trigger warning: homophobia, this is why we cant have nice things, family values, adoption, babies, homophobia, crime, people suck, lgbtq / gender & sexual minorities, children

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