Spreading the Word (and Pictures) on ‘Real’ Sex

[psychesky]

ABOUT a decade ago, Cindy Gallop, a pixie-like businesswoman, said she began dating and sleeping with men about half her age. While their stamina and her experience made a good combination, Ms. Gallop said, she also discerned a disturbing trend: the boudoir moves of many of her young lovers seemed drawn entirely from pornography.So Ms. Gallop, now

Comments

[tiddlywinks103]

I love this idea. And porn.

Ms. Gallop said she was compelled by the feedback she got from the original site. Women in particular believed that they were trapped in someone else’s pornographic fantasy in bed. “If I want to tackle the impact of porn as default sex educator,” she said, “I have to come up with something as appealing to the mainstream and as all-pervasive in our society as porn.”

Yesssss.

[mamasboo]

Also worrisome to me is that females are being taught that their sexual response is dependent on what the male wants/likes/what works for him.

I find women saying they get turned on by a lot of things like getting ejaculated on and I have a theory that women have evolved their natural sexuality to accommodate the males and have evolved *sexual satisfaction* from the male's "leftovers". It's like, no one's going to pay attention to your needs, so your body compensates by becoming sensitized to behaviors that men want you to perform with only their own satisfaction in mind.

It's sad, really. It's like having sex but being completely alone in it.

[perthro]

I am DYING over that icon, Mamasboo. >D

[tiddlywinks103]

I wouldn't go so far as to fully dismiss that sexual response as evolution, though. Some girls do like it, knowing full well of the male gaze in it, and some girls do like having their hair pulled, knowing it's a sexually aggressive act.

I think it's more about positive sex ed that lets you figure out your sexual proclivities, with minimal judgement, unless you are actively trying to non-consensually harm or degrade someone.

[lady_borg]

Some girls do like it, knowing full well of the male gaze in it

This

[seasight]

I like hair pulling but only because it's like a mini head-rub but with SEX. What's not to like?

[bleed_peroxide]

Some girls do like it, knowing full well of the male gaze in it, and some girls do like having their hair pulled, knowing it's a sexually aggressive act.

Bingo. I don't know if a part of it has to do with esteem issues, blah blah blah, but part of why I like certain things is because it's the most obvious sign I'm doing a good job and (s)he finds me desirable.

[mamasboo]

Right, I just think/wonder/ponder if what we "like" has not been taught to us. Maybe, maybe not. I am siding with closer to maybe right now, I just see so much against women in this world that I can't help but think we have been shaped by men's desires before we even know what ours truly are.

[tiddlywinks103]

And my point is, even if women have, why are we held to this special standard of only liking 'feminist' sexual acts, when the rest of the world at large has the same nature/nurture combo, yet aren't judged nearly as much by certain 'progressive' factions?

Like I said, the only way you can really be sex positive like this is by educating people about what sex, consent, and respect is, so no matter what you are into, for whatever reason you come to, your sexual expression is valid. I don't really care about the ins and out of why a girl likes a pearl necklace, as long as she's asserted she likes them.

Can you ever really, really truly tell? No, but we can make laws and regulation, and sex positive narratives, so a girl(or guy) does not have to feel she has to lie about her sexual preferences. And I think this website helps.

[meran_flash]

That's not how evolution works.

[mamasboo]

Methinks you know what I'm trying to say. Adaptation may be the better word but this comment -- really? Unhelpful FTW.

[meran_flash]

I know what you're trying to say and I think it's ridiculous.