Progress for the sake of progress must be discouraged.
YOU'RE RIGHT, THAT IS A QUOTE BY DOLORES JANE UMBRIDGE
I know what you’re thinking right now: she’s the worst character in the series; how can you possibly be sane, OP?
Yes, I agree with you that she is pretty brutal in her actions, because she’s mean for the sake of being mean, but without her as a character, we would have missed out on some pretty fantastic moments in the series.
Without Dolores, we would never have had these scenes/lines:
- are you quite sure you wouldn't like a cough drop, Dolores?'
'Oh, no need, thank you, Minerva,' simpered Professor Umbridge, who had just coughed her loudest yet. 'I was just concerned that you might not have Harry's most recent Defence Against the Dark Arts marks in front of you. I'm quite sure I slipped in a note.'
'What, this thing?' said Professor McGonagall in a tone of revulsion, as she pulled a sheet of pink parchment from between the leaves of Harry's folder. She glanced down it, her eyebrows slightly raised, then placed it back into the folder without comment.
'Yes, as I was saying, Potter, Professor Lupin thought you showed a pronounced aptitude for the subject, and obviously for an Auror - '
'Did you not understand my note, Minerva?' asked Professor Umbndge in honeyed tones, quite forgetting to cough.
'Of course I understood it,' said Professor McGonagall, her teeth clenched so tightly the words came out a little muffled.
'Well, then, I am confused . . . I'm afraid I don't quite understand how you can give Mr. Potter false hope that - '
'False hope?' repeated Professor McGonagall, still refusing to look round at Professor Umbridge. 'He has achieved high marks in all his Defence Against the Dark Arts tests - '
'I'm terribly sorry to have to contradict you, Minerva, but as you will see from my note,
Harry has been achieving very poor results in his classes with me - '
'I should have made my meaning plainer,' said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look Umbridge directly in the eyes. 'He has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.'
Professor Umbridge's smile vanished as suddenly as a light bulb blowing. She sat back in her chair, turned a sheet on her clipboard and began scribbling very fast indeed, her bulging eyes rolling from side to side. Professor McGonagall turned back to Harry, her thin nostrils flared, her eyes burning.
'Any questions, Potter?'
'Yes,' said Harry. 'What sort of character and aptitude tests do the Ministry do on you, if you get enough NEWTs?'
'Well, you'll need to demonstrate the ability to react well to pressure and so forth,' said Professor McGonagall, 'perseverance and dedication, because Auror training takes a further three years, not to mention very high skills in practical Defence. It will mean a lot more study even after you've left school, so unless you're prepared to - '
'I think you'll also find,' said Umbridge, her voice very cold now, 'that the Ministry looks into the records of those applying to be Aurors. Their criminal records.'
'- unless you're prepared to take even more exams after Hogwarts, you should really look at another -'
'Which means that this boy has as much chance of becoming an Auror as Dumbledore has of ever returning to this school.'
'A very good chance, then,' said Professor McGonagall.
'Potter has a criminal record,' said Umbridge loudly.
'Potter has been cleared of all charges,' said McGonagall, even more loudly.
Professor Umbridge stood up. She was so short that this did not make a great deal of difference, but her fussy, simpering demeanour had given place to a hard fury that made her broad, flabby face look oddly sinister.
'Potter has no chance whatsoever of becoming an Auror!'
Professor McGonagall got to her feet, too, and in her case this was a much more impressive move: she towered over Professor Umbridge.
'Potter,' she said in ringing tones, 'I will assist you to become an Auror if it is the last thing I do! If I have to coach you nightly, I will make sure you achieve the required results!'
THE CHARACTER OF DOLORES ALLOWED PROFESSOR McIWILLFUCKYOUUPIFYOUINTERRUPTMEAGAIN TO SHOW HER TRUE BAMF-NESS.
'Very good, Argus,' she said. 'You two,' she went on, gazing down at Fred and George, 'are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school.'
'You know what?' said Fred. 'I don't think we are.'
He turned to his twin.
'George,' said Fred, 'I think we've outgrown full-time education.'
'Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself,' said George lightly.
Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?' asked Fred.
'Definitely,' said George.
And before Umbridge could say a word, they raised their wands and said together:
'Accio brooms!'
Harry heard a loud crash somewhere in the distance. Looking to his left, he ducked just in time. Fred and George's broomsticks, one still trailing the heavy chain and iron peg with which Umbridge had fastened them to the wall, were hurtling along the corridor towards their owners; they turned left, streaked down the stairs and stopped sharply in front of the twins, the chain clattering loudly on the flagged stone floor.
'We won't be seeing you,' Fred told Professor Umbridge, swinging his leg over his broomstick.
'Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch,' said George, mounting his own.
Fred looked around at the assembled students, at the silent, watchful crowd. 'It anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley - Weasley' Wizarding Wheezes,' he said in a loud voice.
'Our new premises!'
'Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat,' added George, pointing at Professor Umbridge.
'STOP THEM!' shrieked Umbridge, but it was too late. As the Inquisitorial Squad closed in, Fred and George kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air, the iron peg swinging dangerously below. Fred looked across the hall at the poltergeist bobbing on his level above the crowd.
'Give her hell from us, Peeves.'
And Peeves, who Harry had never seen take an order from a student before, swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset.
Without Umbridge ruining Hogwarts, we never would have gotten to see such an insanely awesome exit from Gred and Forge.
WE ALSO WOULD NO HAVE GOTTEN THE FORMATION OF DADA, WHICH WOULD HAVE LED TO MANY DISASTROUS THINGS TRHOUGHOUT THE NEXT TWO YEARS, SO Y’ALL BETTER BE APPRECIATING DOLORES RIGHT NOW.
WE ALSO WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN TO WITNESS THINGS LIKE THIS:
And let’s not forget about the wonderful Imelda Staunton!
So, as much as you hate this woman, you know you want to stan her, lovely people of ontd_hogwarts.
I know what you’re thinking right now: she’s the worst character in the series; how can you possibly be sane, OP?
Yes, I agree with you that she is pretty brutal in her actions, because she’s mean for the sake of being mean, but without her as a character, we would have missed out on some pretty fantastic moments in the series.
Without Dolores, we would never have had these scenes/lines:
- are you quite sure you wouldn't like a cough drop, Dolores?'
'Oh, no need, thank you, Minerva,' simpered Professor Umbridge, who had just coughed her loudest yet. 'I was just concerned that you might not have Harry's most recent Defence Against the Dark Arts marks in front of you. I'm quite sure I slipped in a note.'
'What, this thing?' said Professor McGonagall in a tone of revulsion, as she pulled a sheet of pink parchment from between the leaves of Harry's folder. She glanced down it, her eyebrows slightly raised, then placed it back into the folder without comment.
'Yes, as I was saying, Potter, Professor Lupin thought you showed a pronounced aptitude for the subject, and obviously for an Auror - '
'Did you not understand my note, Minerva?' asked Professor Umbndge in honeyed tones, quite forgetting to cough.
'Of course I understood it,' said Professor McGonagall, her teeth clenched so tightly the words came out a little muffled.
'Well, then, I am confused . . . I'm afraid I don't quite understand how you can give Mr. Potter false hope that - '
'False hope?' repeated Professor McGonagall, still refusing to look round at Professor Umbridge. 'He has achieved high marks in all his Defence Against the Dark Arts tests - '
'I'm terribly sorry to have to contradict you, Minerva, but as you will see from my note,
Harry has been achieving very poor results in his classes with me - '
'I should have made my meaning plainer,' said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look Umbridge directly in the eyes. 'He has achieved high marks in all Defence Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher.'
Professor Umbridge's smile vanished as suddenly as a light bulb blowing. She sat back in her chair, turned a sheet on her clipboard and began scribbling very fast indeed, her bulging eyes rolling from side to side. Professor McGonagall turned back to Harry, her thin nostrils flared, her eyes burning.
'Any questions, Potter?'
'Yes,' said Harry. 'What sort of character and aptitude tests do the Ministry do on you, if you get enough NEWTs?'
'Well, you'll need to demonstrate the ability to react well to pressure and so forth,' said Professor McGonagall, 'perseverance and dedication, because Auror training takes a further three years, not to mention very high skills in practical Defence. It will mean a lot more study even after you've left school, so unless you're prepared to - '
'I think you'll also find,' said Umbridge, her voice very cold now, 'that the Ministry looks into the records of those applying to be Aurors. Their criminal records.'
'- unless you're prepared to take even more exams after Hogwarts, you should really look at another -'
'Which means that this boy has as much chance of becoming an Auror as Dumbledore has of ever returning to this school.'
'A very good chance, then,' said Professor McGonagall.
'Potter has a criminal record,' said Umbridge loudly.
'Potter has been cleared of all charges,' said McGonagall, even more loudly.
Professor Umbridge stood up. She was so short that this did not make a great deal of difference, but her fussy, simpering demeanour had given place to a hard fury that made her broad, flabby face look oddly sinister.
'Potter has no chance whatsoever of becoming an Auror!'
Professor McGonagall got to her feet, too, and in her case this was a much more impressive move: she towered over Professor Umbridge.
'Potter,' she said in ringing tones, 'I will assist you to become an Auror if it is the last thing I do! If I have to coach you nightly, I will make sure you achieve the required results!'
THE CHARACTER OF DOLORES ALLOWED PROFESSOR McIWILLFUCKYOUUPIFYOUINTERRUPTMEAGAIN TO SHOW HER TRUE BAMF-NESS.
'Very good, Argus,' she said. 'You two,' she went on, gazing down at Fred and George, 'are about to learn what happens to wrongdoers in my school.'
'You know what?' said Fred. 'I don't think we are.'
He turned to his twin.
'George,' said Fred, 'I think we've outgrown full-time education.'
'Yeah, I've been feeling that way myself,' said George lightly.
Time to test our talents in the real world, d'you reckon?' asked Fred.
'Definitely,' said George.
And before Umbridge could say a word, they raised their wands and said together:
'Accio brooms!'
Harry heard a loud crash somewhere in the distance. Looking to his left, he ducked just in time. Fred and George's broomsticks, one still trailing the heavy chain and iron peg with which Umbridge had fastened them to the wall, were hurtling along the corridor towards their owners; they turned left, streaked down the stairs and stopped sharply in front of the twins, the chain clattering loudly on the flagged stone floor.
'We won't be seeing you,' Fred told Professor Umbridge, swinging his leg over his broomstick.
'Yeah, don't bother to keep in touch,' said George, mounting his own.
Fred looked around at the assembled students, at the silent, watchful crowd. 'It anyone fancies buying a Portable Swamp, as demonstrated upstairs, come to number ninety-three, Diagon Alley - Weasley' Wizarding Wheezes,' he said in a loud voice.
'Our new premises!'
'Special discounts to Hogwarts students who swear they're going to use our products to get rid of this old bat,' added George, pointing at Professor Umbridge.
'STOP THEM!' shrieked Umbridge, but it was too late. As the Inquisitorial Squad closed in, Fred and George kicked off from the floor, shooting fifteen feet into the air, the iron peg swinging dangerously below. Fred looked across the hall at the poltergeist bobbing on his level above the crowd.
'Give her hell from us, Peeves.'
And Peeves, who Harry had never seen take an order from a student before, swept his belled hat from his head and sprang to a salute as Fred and George wheeled about to tumultuous applause from the students below and sped out of the open front doors into the glorious sunset.
Without Umbridge ruining Hogwarts, we never would have gotten to see such an insanely awesome exit from Gred and Forge.
WE ALSO WOULD NO HAVE GOTTEN THE FORMATION OF DADA, WHICH WOULD HAVE LED TO MANY DISASTROUS THINGS TRHOUGHOUT THE NEXT TWO YEARS, SO Y’ALL BETTER BE APPRECIATING DOLORES RIGHT NOW.
WE ALSO WOULD NEVER HAVE GOTTEN TO WITNESS THINGS LIKE THIS:
And let’s not forget about the wonderful Imelda Staunton!
So, as much as you hate this woman, you know you want to stan her, lovely people of ontd_hogwarts.