Marianne Fellatio 101
We all know Everton's new kid on the block as the guy with the skills, the fro and occasionally by the ridic nickname of "Marianne Fellatio". He has also been in a recent Merseyside scandal, and no this doesn't involve his hair clogging the drains in the Goodison Park locker room!
Some traits we didn't know:
He has divine taste in women
His preferences in women are sooo exquisite that his recent hook-up involves WAYNE ROONEY'S COUSIN Natalie. He is even courteous when making a first impression, insisting on seeing Natalie's bum by dropping his pantaloons on their first date. "He kept saying, 'Don't be shy - I will show you mine,"
He picks up languages fast
One of the early texts to Natalie:
"Com please me only my family no hier Please for me babe."
He's a man of many romantic words
"He was trying to say he had seen my bum in a photo and asked if he could see it in real life.
"I told him 'no way'. Then he dropped his trousers and mooned right at me. He did have a lovely bum and I slapped it - but still refused to show him mine!" She wasn't so shy about letting him have a play up front. "He asked to see my boobs, and I love getting them out so I showed him. He said, 'Big, very big!'"
(Natalie also has good taste)
"In person he's more attractive. I definitely fancied him. He asked which Everton player I liked best. When I said him he high-fived me!"
There's only one thing on his mind
"It was so exciting dating my favourite player, but he was only interested in one thing - sex."
Well ok, we probably all could have guessed that one
He doesn't have puff-pubes despite the big fro
"He started touching my boobs and kissing me. He seemed loved-up. We were naked and having fun. The funny thing was, with all that hair on his head, he was clean shaven elsewhere!"
He already had a girlfriend back in Belgium
"The sneak didn't tell me he had a girlfriend back in Belgium. Had I known I wouldn't have gone near him. Then he had the cheek to dump ME!"
He freaked out when this story was leaked to the press, and the two have not spoken since.
Hmmm family ties. Rooney has been linked with a 52 year old woman, while his cousin hooked up with a guy named Marianne. Cases are similar, no?
From source de journalistic integrity: News of the World