I don't think I've ever personally met a man in my life who was an actually good feminist ally, as much as a woman feminist- much less one that personally identified as a male "feminist." Ever. So I don't even know who these mythical "male feminists" she's talking about are. Where are they? Where do they come from? Are they actually related to unicorns?
That aside, there's a balance that I'm still trying to reach myself. I automatically doubt that a guy will have anything helpful to say in these kinds of topics, which may sometimes become a self-fulfilling prophecy if my behavior makes them nervous or makes them feel defensive from the get-go; I don't know. But the answer is definitely not overlooking their mistakes. I expect them to make them a bit more because of their differing background, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be pointed out. Shitty allies make the whole movement less legitimate than if they'd just stayed out of it to start with.
Also, on the point about male feminist leaders... this happens?! Holy shit, that's
( ... )
I do know a couple Real Actual Male Feminists... although I suppose it's telling that they're trans* and were feminists before they gained male privilege and continue to ID as such.**
**I'm really not sure how to word this without being rude. I feel that trans men [and masculine women, too] do gain male privilege when they are perceived by society as male, but they know firsthand how oppression of women happens. I've noticed that generally people who were perceived as female and are now not are usually pretty feminist.
Masculine women don't have male privilege. Women can't have male privilege, and masculine women generally get treated considerably worse compared with feminine women.
I don't think the masculine women thing is totally off base sometimes more feminine women will start talking about some sexism related thing that I cannot relate to having experienced.
I've read a few scholarly journals written by men who identify as feminists on feminist topics. I don't know them personally, and I haven't met them, so I can't speak for their personalities, but the simple fact that they've contributed well-written arguments for feminism makes them alright in my books.
... I can't think of any specific names off the top of my head right now because I'm a little derpy, but I do know they exist. And can look them up for you later if you'd like.
I know men that are pretty good feminists/allies, and say that they're aware of their privilege, but usually they end up failing somewhere along the way. Taking up too much space, talking over people, etc, which is just their ~personality. Or using misogynistic slurs, rape jokes, or something.
I do know one dude that does pretty well, and makes sure that he shuts up and listens when there are discussions about something he doesn't have personal experience of, but he's also not involved actively in a feminist organization.
Also, on the point about male feminist leaders... this happens?! Holy shit, that's just... wildly inappropriate.
Yeah...I know a dude who holds informal classes/meetings to teach women how to be feminists. It is way fucked up. And he has some serious issues with Not Getting It.
That aside, there's a balance that I'm still trying to reach myself. I automatically doubt that a guy will have anything helpful to say in these kinds of topics, which may sometimes become a self-fulfilling prophecy if my behavior makes them nervous or makes them feel defensive from the get-go; I don't know. But the answer is definitely not overlooking their mistakes. I expect them to make them a bit more because of their differing background, but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be pointed out. Shitty allies make the whole movement less legitimate than if they'd just stayed out of it to start with.
Also, on the point about male feminist leaders... this happens?! Holy shit, that's ( ... )
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**I'm really not sure how to word this without being rude. I feel that trans men [and masculine women, too] do gain male privilege when they are perceived by society as male, but they know firsthand how oppression of women happens. I've noticed that generally people who were perceived as female and are now not are usually pretty feminist.
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I'm sorry for the offense.
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I'm sorry.
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... I can't think of any specific names off the top of my head right now because I'm a little derpy, but I do know they exist. And can look them up for you later if you'd like.
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I do know one dude that does pretty well, and makes sure that he shuts up and listens when there are discussions about something he doesn't have personal experience of, but he's also not involved actively in a feminist organization.
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Yeah...I know a dude who holds informal classes/meetings to teach women how to be feminists. It is way fucked up. And he has some serious issues with Not Getting It.
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