Girls’ First Sexual Encounters Are More Likely to Be Unprotected. How About We Ask Why?

[102bb]

Trigger warning for discussions of sexual violence, victim-blaming.

This morning I came across a post at a CNN blog about a new study (which has not yet been peer reviewed) on teen sex and sexual health. The aspect of the study making headlines both at CNN and elsewhere is this: “Girls take more chances during first sex."

Comments

[entelodont]

I wonder also about the respective ages of first sexual partners. I suspect boys are mostly with girls around their age or younger, whereas girls are more likely to have older partners, sometimes much older. When I was with CPS, I met a number of girls whose first sexual encounters were at the age of 9-11, and their partners tended to be older teen boys and young adults. They were not pleasurable for the girls; for the most part they seemed to expect that sexual pleasure on their end was supposed to be a product of pleasing the boys, not an independently realized or initiated thing. Since they were coerced, they did not classify it as rape, since their understanding of sexual assault involved pure force vs. obvious resistance. And that's the problem, really; children are not taught all the ways in which rape and abuse can manifest. Nor does anyone address the fact that rape culture has taught these girls that pleasing male partners is the be-all, end-all goal of sexual contact, and they truly do believe that so long as the boy or man is happy, that everything is all right. They're stuck in a limbo where they cannot go back to being a "good girl" (read: virgin), and they cannot refuse or set their own boundaries because their sexual history will be used against them if they do. While older boys are constructed as more desirable partners, their greater age and experience makes it much easier for them to intimidate and manipulate underage girls. These girls cannot reach out to their families, who generally react with anger at the fact that their daughter is sexually active, and girls are taught to hate and distrust sexually active peers. No support network = more victims and longer durations of victimization.

And let's not overlook the fact that even if a girl is able to negotiate using a condom, it's useless if she has no idea what proper use of condoms consists of. Half-assed information is only slightly better than none at all.

[burningmarl]

I think you've said everything I wanted to, and more.

My mum is very active in sexual health, non-slut shaming stuff and was through all my teens and she impressed a lot of the above on me (or rather, how to avoid being coerced etc)

[paintmeamovie]

They're stuck in a limbo where they cannot go back to being a "good girl" (read: virgin), and they cannot refuse or set their own boundaries because their sexual history will be used against them if they do.
This so much

[mybluesunset]

So true.

[zoram]

I'm probably a lot younger than the average here, so it wasn't long ago since I was in that age group. Looking back at it, this is spot on for both how I felt, and what I saw happen to others.