Derailing and white people's "feelings"
This is inspired by the post below. The other day, I had the misfortune of getting into a discussion about race with someone I consider a good friend (and still do.) ...
I wrote a post on tumblr about things my friends do that really upset me. The response I got from my friend was:
sometimes i feel like you don’t like me just because of the stuff you say about my race on here, honestly. lmfao no offense don’t get mad at me i just cannot help but thinking like that sometimes okay.
I guess it really upset me because I'm always wary about how much I'll get angry over things that white people in my life do that offend me and posting it on my tumblr and it's bothersome to always look over my shoulder so I replied:
...I think it’s sad you think that but I think it’s sadder that I actually feel the need to worry about it. Not you specifically but why is it that when I talk about these kind of issues white people get personally offended? I’m confused because it is not about you. This is another one of my pet peeves: if I say something about white people it offends a lot of them and they go “but what about xyz” or “when you say these things it makes me feel like you don’t like me.” It’s not about exceptions it’s about the common rule, it is not about whether I like you or not it is about how a lot of your people make me feel. Sadly, being white in this situation makes you think you almost have a right to be upset.
Her response was mostly good except:
the only reason i get offended is because i am white and sometimes, you target only white people. other white people may get offended easily because of the same thing, but i cannot speak for everyone. i will tell you right now that i am not racist in the slightest. that may be why i, personally, get offended easily…because i’m not racist and sometimes i feel like people-not you specifically-but other races feel like ALL white people are racist. and that’s not the case.
Thoughts? Experiences? Annoyances? How do you deal with this type of thing? Why do they feel they have the right to be that upset?
I wrote a post on tumblr about things my friends do that really upset me. The response I got from my friend was:
sometimes i feel like you don’t like me just because of the stuff you say about my race on here, honestly. lmfao no offense don’t get mad at me i just cannot help but thinking like that sometimes okay.
I guess it really upset me because I'm always wary about how much I'll get angry over things that white people in my life do that offend me and posting it on my tumblr and it's bothersome to always look over my shoulder so I replied:
...I think it’s sad you think that but I think it’s sadder that I actually feel the need to worry about it. Not you specifically but why is it that when I talk about these kind of issues white people get personally offended? I’m confused because it is not about you. This is another one of my pet peeves: if I say something about white people it offends a lot of them and they go “but what about xyz” or “when you say these things it makes me feel like you don’t like me.” It’s not about exceptions it’s about the common rule, it is not about whether I like you or not it is about how a lot of your people make me feel. Sadly, being white in this situation makes you think you almost have a right to be upset.
Her response was mostly good except:
the only reason i get offended is because i am white and sometimes, you target only white people. other white people may get offended easily because of the same thing, but i cannot speak for everyone. i will tell you right now that i am not racist in the slightest. that may be why i, personally, get offended easily…because i’m not racist and sometimes i feel like people-not you specifically-but other races feel like ALL white people are racist. and that’s not the case.
Thoughts? Experiences? Annoyances? How do you deal with this type of thing? Why do they feel they have the right to be that upset?