The Common Guy

[proofrawk]

Oprah says it. My yoga instructor says it. College students around the country say it. The cast of Friends says it, as do my own friends, over and over again. At least 10 to 20 times a day, I hear someone say “you guys” to refer to groups or pairs that include and in some cases consist entirely of women. I get e-mail all the time asking after

Comments

[dealatedwren]

I have a problem with saying this :( I'm trying to stop

[surrealistes]

...Alice Walker’s view of the expression: “I see in its use some women’s obsequious need to be accepted, at any cost, even at the cost of erasing their own femaleness, and that of other women. Isn’t it at least ironic that after so many years of struggle for women’s liberation, women should end up calling themselves this?”

am i the only one who found that a little bit offensive?

[surrealistes]

exactly. i cannot stand so-called feminists who think that they are ~enlightened and that all other women are just pathetic.

[horizongold]

Not at all, it IS offensive.

[colourlesshero]

i feel like maybe people use 'guys' as a sort of causal way to try and do gender neutral pronouns.
though i myself don't consider 'guys' to be neutral at all, i've always thought of it as typically male thing.

[turnofftherain]

I don't use it myself, but honestly I couldn't give a shit if other people do. Some servers in restaurants are trained to say "guys" to lend the air of casualness and friendliness. It's not something I'm going to be able to change institutionally, and calling out individuals trained to use that language on the job is just going to make their day harder.

My mom, on the other hand, really resents being called a guy, and she takes it to ridiculous extremes. One time, in one of those aforementioned restaurants, she berated the waitress to the point of crying...because she had slipped up and said "you guys" after mom told her not to. /cool story, bro

[surrealistes]

yeah, i kind of agree :/ i just feel like there are maybe bigger issues to worry about? i suppose it's not such a big thing here in the uk anyway, it's kind of hard to pull off without an american accent XD

[turnofftherain]

I don't really subscribe to the "bigger issues to worry about" mindset (because, well, people can multitask, and worrying about "guys" does not preclude you from worrying about rape culture). But, most of the time, I'm encountering gender-neutral "guys" not from friends and family, but from retail or restaurant employees. And, having been in their shoes before, I'm not about to give them shit for something they're ordered to do. Unless they're being outright rude to me, I'd rather make my stay in their establishment as pain-free as possible for them.

[chibi_lurrel]

I get a lot of shit for using 'y'all' when I'm out of the South proper, but I like it because I appreciate its gender neutrality. I really like this article.

[turnofftherain]

At my last job I said "y'all" (which I got shit for, being in the Philly suburbs, but I was able to play the "born in Texas" card with great effect) or "folks".

I've also heard "yous" a lot, because Philly area.

[ennifer_jay]

Yeah I've seen "yous" a lot in the Philly area too. I've also seen "yous guys" or "you guys" a lot in the Philly area because of "yous".

[politicette]

Same same same! I'm not even really Southern, I just really appreciate its use as a casual, gender-inclusive term.