TWOP recap up!
HERE
For anyone who was, like me, irrationally worried that Jacob was leaving, fear not, he's still around, and as awesome as ever.
Oh man remember last May when Adam Lambert wasn't even gay yet? And remember how Bikini Kill was so gross, and Kris was sooo cute? And remember how there was KISS? (Remember -- on a separate note -- Amanda Overmyer? Jesus.) And then remember how Paula Abdul wandered off in her prom dress and was devoured by wolves and everybody thought that American Idol was over? And remember how of course it wasn't? And remember what it felt like before you knew Simon was leaving us? And now it might be over in actuality?
The guest judges filling Paula's [prescriptions] shoes before they bring it home to Ellen -- I doubt she'll be in Hollywood Round, right? -- are as follows. They're sort of an Apocalypse Horseman scenario, to be honest. Check this shit out: On the evil side, you've got Shania Twain, who writes bleep-bloop instead of songs; Joe Jonas, whom I bet you five dollars is the ugly one; what's left of Posh Spice, which we'll experience tonight; and Katy Perry, who is revolting in ways Gwen Stefani has not even explored yet.
The judge who should still be there suggests you go read, enjoy, share your favorite lines in the comments, revel in the general wonder that is Jacob
For anyone who was, like me, irrationally worried that Jacob was leaving, fear not, he's still around, and as awesome as ever.
Oh man remember last May when Adam Lambert wasn't even gay yet? And remember how Bikini Kill was so gross, and Kris was sooo cute? And remember how there was KISS? (Remember -- on a separate note -- Amanda Overmyer? Jesus.) And then remember how Paula Abdul wandered off in her prom dress and was devoured by wolves and everybody thought that American Idol was over? And remember how of course it wasn't? And remember what it felt like before you knew Simon was leaving us? And now it might be over in actuality?
The guest judges filling Paula's [prescriptions] shoes before they bring it home to Ellen -- I doubt she'll be in Hollywood Round, right? -- are as follows. They're sort of an Apocalypse Horseman scenario, to be honest. Check this shit out: On the evil side, you've got Shania Twain, who writes bleep-bloop instead of songs; Joe Jonas, whom I bet you five dollars is the ugly one; what's left of Posh Spice, which we'll experience tonight; and Katy Perry, who is revolting in ways Gwen Stefani has not even explored yet.
The judge who should still be there suggests you go read, enjoy, share your favorite lines in the comments, revel in the general wonder that is Jacob