Sep 12, 2009 18:54
time for a miracle...in my pants,
silly jizz,
i'm just here for the gifs,
sparkle,
!adam lambert,
so perfect so stylish so...glittery,
if u seek adam,
!appreciation post,
-10000 comments holy shit,
a crow moans in horny recovery,
sprinkle glitter all over everything,
just because i'm not sticking it there,
it's...it's adam,
up in adam,
human equivalent of a ferrari that flies,
it's a moses rock opera!,
i'm glad i'm causing 'gasms,
we don't expect you to understand adam,
just threw my shoe at my damn laptop,
i'm more of top.,
just sprinkle glitter over eveything!,
very sexy,
top you like whip cream on ihop pancakes,
you'll never be adam,
i'm still jizzing over this post,
-9000 comments
Leave a comment
January 20th wasn't really a bad time for me. Actually, I was at inauguration and a ball that day. I was having a good time. School was going really well, things with my crazy mother weren't horrible, I had crazy fucking amazing friends. I wasn't complaining. I wasn't sitting around asking for someone to come into my life and turn it upside down. I wasn't even watching American Idol until my best friend was like "hey, cool, a theatre kid. He'll be trained." She talked about him and I brushed her off until she finally got me to watch Adam Lambert singing Satisfaction a few nights before the final Wild Card.
I was kind of....fascinated. He was from theatre, so he was trained. I knew the name, actually. And he seemed good, fun, like he was gonna shake this shit up. And then I saw this picture:
and was like "oh, this is gonna be good."
And then Black or White happened, and it was good. And then, fucking Tracks of My Tears. Everytime I watch it, I get the same jittery feelings. I can remember knowing, as soon as he went in to his crazy falsetto, that this was big. This wasn't a season 8 favorite. It was bigger than me, than Idol, than a lot of things. I was fucking excited.
The week he did Ring of Fire was my birthday and I was out seeing a show. After it, I met a woman who was in my favorite musical ever. We talked and it was a big closure moment for me, and it kind of allowed me to let that part of me-- the part that lived in bare fandom and was most connected to this show about finding yourself when there's no one to tell you how-- go, and move on to the part about being yourself and having someone help you.
I don't know when I made the transition from that to full out stan, but I know that Mad World sealed the deal. I watched this crazy WeHo club kid from the back of Wicked singing "went to school and I was very nervous," and there was someone out there who got it. That's the fucking anthem, him singing Mad World. Of kids who go to school every day and have to try so hard not to scream and cry because it's so frustrating, and no one gets anything, and they don't fit. That's what Adam was, and that's what I am.
The season continued, and it ended, and I was dissapointed, but that's besides the point. I would have liked it to end differently but I can't complain because Adam and Idol were one of the biggest things to ever happen to my life.
I never cared about music. I loved musicals and had bands I liked, but I straight up didn't give a shit. Adam (and my best friend) basically pointed me in the direction of the right music for me, and what it means to me, and all of the sudden, I care about music more than a lot of things. It's important to me, it's a huge part of my life, and Adam is music that I get to be incredibly excited about.
I never felt like I was beautiful-- not that I fely ugly, but I didn't feel pretty. I'm overweight, and I never dressed exceptionally well because I figured there was no point. There is a point. A cute top and a little makeup have done wonders for my self esteem, and Adam showed me that.
I never, ever, ever thought anything happened for any reason beyond coincidence. Ever. I'm a huge cynic, and an athiest, and a big believer in coincidence. But I can't look at Adam up on that stage where he fits like a fucking puzzle piece, and think that there isn't some rhyme or reason to the universe. Not a higher power, or a grand plan, but that things add up the way they should, they happen when they should, and that maybe things will be okay in the end. My cynical little heart can no longer think anything but that, because this?
Is no coincidence.
Reply
I never, I never, I never. But I do. I love music, I feel beautiful, I feel like I can do things and like people get it, I feel vindicated and happy constantly. I'm positive and confident in ways I've never ever been before. I'm only 17 and the only reason I'm even at the beginning of a solidification of self, is because of this man.
Not to mention that he's ridiculously fucking talented. His voice, his stage presence, his eyes for performance, and his ears for music. He knows what he's doing and I really believe that in twenty years I'll be telling my kids that I voted for him on Idol and they'll give me the same jealous look I give my grandma when she tells me she saw Janis Joplin before she was famous. Iconic and legendary are big words, but I believe with all my heart that he'll mean something. He'll make an impression on music, on people, on culture. I believe that he'll bring the idea of a rockstar and reverence for music back to my generation. And that maybe he'll open a few eyes.
On top of his insane talent? He's sweet. He's overly humble. He has a sense of humor. His biggest fear is his parents dying. He loves his mommy more than anything and hugs her like he's a child and she can fix everything. He asks fans to give to needy kids instead of him. He buys his best friend a Tiffany's bracelet because he can, and he thinks that money is only worth something if you can share it. He pimps his insanely talented friends. He's a damn good guy, caring and sweet and genuine.
He's, according to Rolling Stone, a "flower child who values love above money and peace above power." And you know, that's kind of what I am, amidst a generation of people exactly the opposite. I'm an idealist and I believe in love and music and peace and tolerance which should be popular, but really isn't. And Adam is this star who believes in the same things. And that's cool. He really seems to value love above everything, not just romantically. I really, really don't care that he's gay. I don't. But the way he loves? How much emphasis he puts on it? That I care about. That I can learn from.
This kid? Grew up to be a weird ass high school who didn't fit in, only had friends through theatre, felt out of place and stuck and wrong. Then he moved to LA and had all his dreams shit on for 8 years. And kept a smile on his face for years and years. And it paid off. Now he's Adam Lambert, on his way to being a household name and a super star. Some of the musical greats of past generations can't shut up about it. Everyone wants a piece of him.
This kid grew up to tell kids just like him to stay on the cloud. They'll be the cool kids one day. It's cool to be different. I don't know why you're so afraid.
So you know what? I'm not fucking afraid. Screw it. I can drudge through a year of high school full of imbeciles who get nothing, get a degree in something I like, have to prove myself every single step of the way. And it can pay off. It can be okay. If I ever feel like that's wrong or silly, I just have to watch a video of him, or look at a picture. I do that and it's this jolt of yes. I wake up every morning and literally have to be like "oh, right, I have him." And I don't know how I got that lucky, but I did, and I'm so so so thankful for it. Every single hour, every single day, he's influenced me.
Maybe that makes me crazy, but I don't care. Adam's kind of batshit. So. Maybe crazy's a good thing.
And I can think of so so many more things I want to touch on. The way he talks to kids like they're people. The way he treats Kris and Allison. His taste in and knowledge of music. His sad stories from high school. His smile. The fact that he is a a huge huge dork the second he steps off stage. His Bowie accent in Life on Mars? Velvet Goldmine being his favorite movie. The people he's introduced me to. That he finds beauty in every single thing and person, but can't see it in himself.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment