Detroit Rock City review!! It's only a week late.
Hi so, I'm cutting and pasting this from my journal because, well. Someone here might care what happened in Detroit a week ago. Hint: IT WAS FREAKING AMAZING OKAY??
Featuring: GRANNY aka BEST FAN EVER, Lambkey Moment of Doom, my sister's crimes against Meganity, and MattyG Is A Pimp, your argument sucks is invalid.
So, firstly, I woke up at 5AM to get to the airport on time on Wednesday. Thank fucking god none of my flights were delayed or canceled or anything, despite truly ick weather in Detroit. I got into Detroit at 3PM, was picked up by my mom, my sister, and my mom's boyfriend. My mom was convinced that the Palace at Auburn Hills was like an hour from the airport, which isn't actually true, but didn't stop her and her boyfriend from complaining about my sister's choice in restaurant the entire drive TO the restaurant. They wanted to just stop at whatever random place along the way, and were also convinced that the traffic would get SO BAD and we'd be late and whatever. Never mind that we had 4 hours until the concert.
So we get to the restaurant, there's eating involved, and then we're ready to head to the Palace. Only the directions that google gave us took us in the wrong direction. Apparently, google doesn't know how to say, "Make a U-Turn to head north" and will instead tell you to turn onto the road you're already driving on in an attempt to get this across. Dear Google: learn the word U-Turn. It's a valid direction, I promise. No love- Andrea.
Well luckily (or maybe unluckily) mom's boyfriend, known hereafter and MBF, lived in the Detroit area for a long time and got us onto the right highway eventually. And then he proceeded to tell us about every single road and his incredibly boring memories of that road. "Oh, that's Ten Mile, that's where my proctologist used to be before he moved to Laskey, but now I see someone else..."
Yeah. It was like that. I wanted to be like, "And that's 8 Mile, where Eminem grew up in a Curt Wild-esque aluminum trailer park and wrote songs about murdering his mother." I was SO happy when we got to the Palace.
My sister and I dropped my mom and MBF off in front and promised we'd meet up with them right there after the concert. They had to go sit in the handicapped seating, but my sister and I got awesome tickets so we ditched them. I got DIPPIN' DOTS OMG!! On the walk from the entrance to our seats, my sister lost her ticket TWICE until I just decided to hold onto it for her. We saw these two giant blond twin amazon chicks, who ended up having front row floor seats (we could see them from our seats) and I'm pretty sure were friends of Matt's, or at least giant fans because they lost their minds during his set.
So we get to our seats. In front of us is a family--mom, dad, two girls, maybe 10 and 12 years old. Behind us was a group of teenagers. In front and to the right of us was a group of middle to oldish ladies, one of whom had giant red curly hair and a t-shirt that said "GRANNY" right over her ample bosom. Our seats were really freaking awesome, I don't think I can emphasize that enough. We were in the first full section left of the stage and I could see everything perfectly.
Sarver
Here's a sample conversation I had with my sister.
Sis: Wait, who is this guy?
Me: *laughs* It's SARVER.
Sis: Was he on the show? I don't remember him.
Me: He worked on an oil rig, remember?
Sis: No. Oh, but he's hot. Yum. Carver! I love this guy. Wooo CARVER!!
Me: It's 'SARVER.' Michael Sarver.
Sis: George Washington Carver? Whatever, he's hot!
Sarver was surprisingly good. I knew he'd be better than he was on the show just from reading everyone else's reviews, but I was impressed anyway. I almost wished he'd had more songs, but I love him doing Gavin DeGraw. Not sure about that Ne-Yo song for him, but he sounded good on it, and crowd was really into him. Someone threw him a teddy bear, and he cuddled it adorably.
GRANNY was very into it. She stood up. She screamed. She danced. She seemed on the verge of rushing the stage. And then Sarver was gone and Megan came on, so she managed to regain her senses for a few songs.
Megan
Sigh. Oh, Megan. She's very pretty, but the fro is very scary and unflattering, and I spent most of her set attempting to defend her from my sister, who insisted that she looked like Prostitute Barbie.
Sis: She looks like a whore. Like a Barbie whore. If Barbie made a prostitute, it would be modeled off Megan.
Me: She's a mom! She's not a whore.
Sis: She might not BE a whore, but she looks like one.
Me: I think she's pretty!
Sis: A pretty whore. With bedazzled tattoos. WTF.
And then I gave up and tried to listen to Megan sing, and then that was kind of painful, so I tried to shut my ears off and just look at the pretty, but dear lord, that girl has zero stage presence. And her banter was kind of bitter, even though the crowd was screaming like crazy for everyone as long as they mentioned Matt.
Sis: Who is Matt? Why is everyone screaming for him? Aren't we in Gokeyland? What if they're mean to Adam??
Me: They love Adam, just wait. Matt is MATT. He's the dueling piano guy! With the fedoras!
Sis: ...
Me: They used the judges' save on him! He's from Michigan.
Sis: ...who?
So I guess according to my sister, Matt is the new Sarver, which is just WRONG on so many levels. And thankfully, Megan's set ended and Scott came on.
Scott
I really liked Scott!! A lot more than I did on the show. I liked his humor, his piano playing was great. He needs to maybe not try for the falsetto on that Vanessa Carleton song, but I enjoyed it. I love that song, and every time he sang, "If I could just see you..." my sister was like, "I guess he won't ever have to walk a thousand miles 'cause he's never gonna SEE her."
Blind jokes are always funny. No, really, they ARE. So, Scott was good. Not a revelation, but pretty decent.
Lil
I really enjoyed Lil's set!! I'm not a singer, so I don't know much, but I liked her voice and I thought she performed so much better live than on the show. Her shoes were very sparkly and awesome and her dancing was pretty good, too. She made me like that Alicia Keys song, which I HATE with a passion beyond words on the radio because OMG ALICIA (and Leona Lewis! I'm looking at you, too!) please don't SCREAM at me through the radio. It's unnecessary. Screaming does not equal passionate display of emotion. It equals me turning the station.
I loved Single Ladies!! I stood up, I did the dance, my sister laughed at me. Whatever! GRANNY was way more excited than I was, but she couldn't quite get the hang of the robot hand of fierce. Lil's voice sounded decent on it. My sister was all, "Well, she's not Beyonce," but I mean, NO ONE is Beyonce except Beyonce. She should've sung Diva though, that would've been great. Can you imagine Lil being all, "This is a stick-up! I need them bags UH that money!" LOL FOREVER.
Anoop
ANOOOOOP. Anoop really impressed me. I think he's got a ways to go as far as confidence and performance, but he's got a lot of charisma and his voice is GORGEOUS as hell, WOW. The tone or whatever is just. YES. It was really nice, really lovely. I liked the R&B song best--what song is that?? They used it on SYTYCD, didn't they?--and I thought it fit his voice and his persona best as well. Always On My Mind was beautiful, but a bit yawny. I fucking love 'My Prerogative' but every time I hear it, I just think of Britney's version and her video for that song and everything else kind of pales in comparison. I mean, it's just not the same hearing Anoop sing, "They say I'm crazy! I really don't care" as it is hearing Britney sing it. Still, enjoyable, and he spread himself around all over the amazon twins, who lost their minds and were on the verge of flashing him by the end.
My mom didn't like his sneakers. Yeah, I don't know, my mom is crazy! The sneakers were awesome. They were purple. And awesome. GRANNY nearly had a heart attack during Anoop. We kept trying to guess who she was there for, but it seemed like she lost it more and more with every performance, so it was very hard to tell. I kept thinking she couldn't possibly go crazier, only to discover another level of insanity.
Matt
So, I should mention that anytime anyone mentioned Matt, the crowd went insane. The second his intro package started, the entire Palace erupted and had some kind of collective Mattgasm. Everyone on their feet, so freaking excited for MattyG. My sister's going, "Who is this? Why do we care about this guy??" and I'm just screaming my head off. MATTYG!!! He was so great, you guys, and clearly so happy to be in front of a home state crowd that was there for HIM (and Adam and Danny, but hush, lots of people were there for him, too.)
And he delivered. Some of his friends were a few rows down from us, jumping up and down so he'd see them, which he did. There was pointing involved. His piano playing is great, but unlike Scott, his voice is EQUALLY great. Well, maybe not equally, but pretty damn good. I loved his set. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with a towel and threw it into the audience, upon which time there was a desperate rush for the sweaty towel like this was a Justin concert or some shit. It was great. It was awesome to see him get so much love, and awesome to see HIM see how much love he was getting.
He's such a good performer, too. His voice isn't as good as Anoop's, maybe, but he SELLS it. If he gets signed, I think he could be really successful.
Meanwhile my sister was still going, "Who is this dude?" *facepalm* HE IS MATT GIRAUD AND HE WILL NOT BE SCORNED!!!
I'm not sure what GRANNY was doing during Matt, because I lost my entire fucking mind and couldn't be bothered to note GRANNY's antics. I liked Matt before. Now I am a full-on convert!! I would so be in his cult. Well, depending on the uniforms.
Group
Group number was enjoyable. I liked the Matt/Scott duet okay, but they could've chosen a better Billy Joel song. I kind of hate that song. Blah. They sounded good though. I liked the Beggin' number. Cute, and Megan's inability to stay in tune was covered up pretty well.
(Aside: it's not that I hate Megan's voice. I don't. I think she has a good voice and I love that Duffy-esque tone to it. But she has serious pitch problems and I think she just needs a lot of training to get that under control. She's not a bad singer, but she sounds like one when she can't stay in tune.)
Intermission
During intermission, the group of high school kids behind us won after party passes. Lucky fuckers. We tried to win them, but even though I knew all about the sucky Ford Hybrids, I did not prevail. Probably a good thing, as I believe my sister wanted to tell Gokey something along the lines of watching him ascend to Heaven to be with his dead wife. My sister? Not a Gokey fan.
Allison
ALLISON!!! I enjoyed Allison, but I wasn't as blown away as I expected to be. Firstly, I hate that Pink song, and Allison was clearly concentrating on playing guitar and singing at the same time, which made both the guitar playing and the singing a bit lacking.
LOVED 'Cry Baby'. She was freaking amazing on that, I will say. AMAZING. I can't believe that's the song she went out on, and Danny got to stay with his Ghoulish Widower Scream like he was auditioning to be an extra in Saw V or something. Ugh. The world, it is unfair! On the other hand, Allison has a record deal, so I guess it doesn't really matter in the end.
Barricuda was also good, but her diction isn't spectacular and I don't actually know the words to that song, so it would've been nice to be able to tell what the words WERE. She also just seemed tired and run down, voice included. Poor kid. LET ALLISON SLEEP, OMG. GRANNY looked like she wanted to adopt Allison. Or possibly molest her. It was hard to tell with all the hair tossing and screaming and shaking. NO REALLY.
Gokey
So then it was Gokey. I had to physically restrain my sister from flicking him off, because there were children all around us, omg. So not appropriate! GRANNY stood up from the get go and seriously, I thought she was crazy before this, but during Danny, it was like the top of her head came off and inside were a hundred tiny gnomes all screaming and shaking and crying for Danny, too. It was some weird shit.
Sis: She wants to be Gokey's new dead wife.
Me: She wants to be Gokey's new OLD dead wife.
Me: ...we're horrible human beings.
Sis: Oh well! *middle fingers*
Danny's voice is quite good though, isn't it? Bah. I liked his singing. PYT I honestly could've done without. And then he took his jacket off and I was like, "...oh. OKAY. Here we go." Danny needs a t-shirt like Jessie from Big Brother has. I just kept thinking, "Welcome to the Young Gunz Show!" Nice. Gave me something to look at, at least, UNTIL THE DANCING. I sat there with my mouth hanging open in horror for like five minutes at Danny's awful dancing during 'Maria Maria.' It was so freaking bad, you guys. SO BAD. Now I understand why Simon kept telling him to stop. It's THAT BAD.
I liked 'What Hurts the Most' just because I like that song. My sister was not impressed and tried to utilize her middle fingers again, but I gave her my Look of Doom and she stopped. GRANNY was crying at this point. Screaming and crying and swaying. She was pretty much ready to ascend to Heaven right there with Gokey. So I guess the whole thing about her wanting to be his new OLD dead wife wasn't that far off.
I think he sang something else, but I can't remember. Failboats.
ADAM
I don't even know what to say about Adam. I mean, firstly, GRANNY got so excited that she grabbed my sister's arm. Seriously, that's how excited she was. On top of the shaking and crying and screaming and jumping up and down, she GRABBED A STRANGER AND SHOOK HER IN EXCITEMENT.
I can't blame her. It was pretty freaking exciting!!
So the second Danny left, the entire Palace was on its feet, including the family in front of us who hadn't stood for anything yet, and they were all screaming their faces off. And ADAM. OMG ADAM. He just. YESSSSS. He sounded freaking amazing, for one thing. And I knew it would be all grinding and microphone-jacking and all that, but I wasn't prepared for how much crazier and more awesome it would be live. OMFG. OMFG.
The father of the two girls in front of us? Just stood there with his mouth hanging open in shock while Adam masturbated the mike stand and the mom jumped around screaming and dancing. The little girls were like, "...what...ummmmm..." I don't think they GOT it. Hahahaha.
'Starlight' was a surprise in a good way. I thought it would sound more like the Muse version, but Adam's voice had this sort of quality to it that made it a very different song. Definitely more feminine, and also kind of alien in a good way. I really liked it.
Mad World was beautiful. My mom says she cried. Awwwwww.
Slow Ride was great!! Allison and Adam just have really great chemistry together, and the two of them on stage was almost an overdose of charisma, DAMN. No bras or boas or anything, although we did see a woman wearing a boa attempting to sneak into the floor section during intermission and being DENIED. Lol forever.
And then BOWIE. Omg, the Bowie medley. Of course, the kids in front of me were like, "What the frak is this shit?" and say down while the mom fucked around on her Blackberry like Adam wasn't singing motherfucking BOWIE, but everyone else was very excited. He took off the coat and my sister was like, "Uhhh... oooohhhhh." I took that as an indicator for her happiness.
I love his dancing. I love how he moves, how he plays with feminine and masculine until he just confuses people so much that they just have to let go of their preconceived notions and HAVE FUN. He was clearly having fun, and that made ME have fun. I was sad when his set ended, even though I knew Kris was next. I can't wait until his solo tour. Can you imagine two HOURS of Adam Lambert?? I think I'd turn into GRANNY and start shaking people!
Kris
Kris!! Kris was so great. I didn't see anyone leaving during his set, which was nice. People were loud for him, too. Loved 'Heartless.' And damn, but Kris is really REALLY tiny. And sexy. And pretty. DAMN.
My sister was like, "I liked his shoes." Sigh.
Anyway, loved Heartless, loved the Killers song. A lot of people sat down during it, which surprised me. It seemed like they didn't really KNOW the song, which--how can you not know the Killers? What, were you living under a sad, sad rock for the last five years? Sigh.
'Ain't No Sunshine' was lovely, of course, if way too short. I still think Kris's version is way too much like Justin's Grammy version, but I don't really care. Kris sings it better, actually, so.
My favorite was Bright Lights, though. I love that song. I wish I had a studio Kris version of it, because I love it so much. And he was freaking RIDING his piano bench like it was Adam's disco stick or something. Adam maybe masturbates microphone stands, but Kris violates piano benches, and they LOVE IT.
(HAHA BENCHES.)
Kris has a lot of charisma and charm and he's very emotional about his singing, really INTO it. He reminds me of JC in a way... it doesn't seem to matter what he's singing, I always believe him when he does. His performances seem to come from a place of deep feeling and sincerity, and it's definitely different than Adam's THIS IS A FUCKING SHOW style, but it's brilliant in a completely different way. I hope he has some good songs on his album, because I really do think he's something special and he could go far.
Hey Jude was good, but mostly Kris's *Judaaay!!!*. I definitely liked Bright Lights the best. And seriously, if anyone has a really clear version of it, I would love you forever if you gave it to me! Also during Hey Jude, someone tossed a t-shirt on stage for Kris. He picked it up, looked at it, and tossed it back down on stage. I think it was a Pistons shirt, in which case--good call, Kris. They should've at least thrown Red Wings, ie a team from Detroit that's actually good and something to be proud of. I mean, I know we were at the Palace, and not The Joe, but still. The Pistons?? Kris isn't lame enough to want that!
Don't Stop Believing!
Okay so. You know how there's the line, "Just a small town boy / growing up in south Detroit!"?? WELL. I couldn't hear anything after that for like a minute because the entire crowd went apeshit, it being DETROIT and all, and Matt had the biggest grin on his face. It was totally adorable. A definitely Moment.
I kind of zoned out until Adam and Kris came on after that, to be honest. There wasn't much kradam. They did a little dance, not even the Blowjob dance, more dorky goodtimes dance than anything else. And then. THEN. They turned to head back to the band, and I was TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE by a Lambkey moment. I almost threw up, I swear. Adam and Danny sang to each other and made funny faces and it was kind of a adorable in a godly way and GRANNY nearly had an aneurysm at the sight of her two favorites interacting adorably grossly. I was worried for the continued structural integrity of her vascular system, seriously.
And then Adam hit his crazy note, which I could only vaguely hear because the band chose that moment to get way too loud (booo, you whores!), and then it was over.
*sadface*
On our way out of the Palace, I saw a girl wearing an 'I Heart Kradam' t-shirt. I thought about stopping her but she looked young and also flustered/in a hurry, so I didn't want to seem like some creepy 29-year-old lady accosting a child and demanding to know her thoughts on Kradam.
However, apparently me being a creepy 29-year-old slasher lady didn't stop girls from accosting ME, because two of them ran up to me as we were walking out wanting to know where I'd gotten my shirt. (I was, of course, wearing the best t-shirt in the world: Republicans for Voldemort.) I explained that I live in Texas and I'd gotten it from the Drafthouse, but they could get them online, and they seemed very excited about the prospect. Yeah, I don't know! I mean, it's a cool shirt, but I can't help feeling like maybe ulterior motives were involved. WAS IT ONE OF YOU?? Were you too afraid to be like, "OMG KRADAM RULES!" and so you decided to ask me about my t-shirt instead?
I want to know who the kradam girl was, too. This is like the time someone texted "Chris loves Lamp" to the screens at the Justin show in Vegas. We never did find out who did it, but it was SO AWESOME.
In conclusion: the concert was amazing and I'm glad I spent $300 on plane fare and concert tickets to go. Totally worth it, especially to see MattyG get so much love.
Featuring: GRANNY aka BEST FAN EVER, Lambkey Moment of Doom, my sister's crimes against Meganity, and MattyG Is A Pimp, your argument sucks is invalid.
So, firstly, I woke up at 5AM to get to the airport on time on Wednesday. Thank fucking god none of my flights were delayed or canceled or anything, despite truly ick weather in Detroit. I got into Detroit at 3PM, was picked up by my mom, my sister, and my mom's boyfriend. My mom was convinced that the Palace at Auburn Hills was like an hour from the airport, which isn't actually true, but didn't stop her and her boyfriend from complaining about my sister's choice in restaurant the entire drive TO the restaurant. They wanted to just stop at whatever random place along the way, and were also convinced that the traffic would get SO BAD and we'd be late and whatever. Never mind that we had 4 hours until the concert.
So we get to the restaurant, there's eating involved, and then we're ready to head to the Palace. Only the directions that google gave us took us in the wrong direction. Apparently, google doesn't know how to say, "Make a U-Turn to head north" and will instead tell you to turn onto the road you're already driving on in an attempt to get this across. Dear Google: learn the word U-Turn. It's a valid direction, I promise. No love- Andrea.
Well luckily (or maybe unluckily) mom's boyfriend, known hereafter and MBF, lived in the Detroit area for a long time and got us onto the right highway eventually. And then he proceeded to tell us about every single road and his incredibly boring memories of that road. "Oh, that's Ten Mile, that's where my proctologist used to be before he moved to Laskey, but now I see someone else..."
Yeah. It was like that. I wanted to be like, "And that's 8 Mile, where Eminem grew up in a Curt Wild-esque aluminum trailer park and wrote songs about murdering his mother." I was SO happy when we got to the Palace.
My sister and I dropped my mom and MBF off in front and promised we'd meet up with them right there after the concert. They had to go sit in the handicapped seating, but my sister and I got awesome tickets so we ditched them. I got DIPPIN' DOTS OMG!! On the walk from the entrance to our seats, my sister lost her ticket TWICE until I just decided to hold onto it for her. We saw these two giant blond twin amazon chicks, who ended up having front row floor seats (we could see them from our seats) and I'm pretty sure were friends of Matt's, or at least giant fans because they lost their minds during his set.
So we get to our seats. In front of us is a family--mom, dad, two girls, maybe 10 and 12 years old. Behind us was a group of teenagers. In front and to the right of us was a group of middle to oldish ladies, one of whom had giant red curly hair and a t-shirt that said "GRANNY" right over her ample bosom. Our seats were really freaking awesome, I don't think I can emphasize that enough. We were in the first full section left of the stage and I could see everything perfectly.
Sarver
Here's a sample conversation I had with my sister.
Sis: Wait, who is this guy?
Me: *laughs* It's SARVER.
Sis: Was he on the show? I don't remember him.
Me: He worked on an oil rig, remember?
Sis: No. Oh, but he's hot. Yum. Carver! I love this guy. Wooo CARVER!!
Me: It's 'SARVER.' Michael Sarver.
Sis: George Washington Carver? Whatever, he's hot!
Sarver was surprisingly good. I knew he'd be better than he was on the show just from reading everyone else's reviews, but I was impressed anyway. I almost wished he'd had more songs, but I love him doing Gavin DeGraw. Not sure about that Ne-Yo song for him, but he sounded good on it, and crowd was really into him. Someone threw him a teddy bear, and he cuddled it adorably.
GRANNY was very into it. She stood up. She screamed. She danced. She seemed on the verge of rushing the stage. And then Sarver was gone and Megan came on, so she managed to regain her senses for a few songs.
Megan
Sigh. Oh, Megan. She's very pretty, but the fro is very scary and unflattering, and I spent most of her set attempting to defend her from my sister, who insisted that she looked like Prostitute Barbie.
Sis: She looks like a whore. Like a Barbie whore. If Barbie made a prostitute, it would be modeled off Megan.
Me: She's a mom! She's not a whore.
Sis: She might not BE a whore, but she looks like one.
Me: I think she's pretty!
Sis: A pretty whore. With bedazzled tattoos. WTF.
And then I gave up and tried to listen to Megan sing, and then that was kind of painful, so I tried to shut my ears off and just look at the pretty, but dear lord, that girl has zero stage presence. And her banter was kind of bitter, even though the crowd was screaming like crazy for everyone as long as they mentioned Matt.
Sis: Who is Matt? Why is everyone screaming for him? Aren't we in Gokeyland? What if they're mean to Adam??
Me: They love Adam, just wait. Matt is MATT. He's the dueling piano guy! With the fedoras!
Sis: ...
Me: They used the judges' save on him! He's from Michigan.
Sis: ...who?
So I guess according to my sister, Matt is the new Sarver, which is just WRONG on so many levels. And thankfully, Megan's set ended and Scott came on.
Scott
I really liked Scott!! A lot more than I did on the show. I liked his humor, his piano playing was great. He needs to maybe not try for the falsetto on that Vanessa Carleton song, but I enjoyed it. I love that song, and every time he sang, "If I could just see you..." my sister was like, "I guess he won't ever have to walk a thousand miles 'cause he's never gonna SEE her."
Blind jokes are always funny. No, really, they ARE. So, Scott was good. Not a revelation, but pretty decent.
Lil
I really enjoyed Lil's set!! I'm not a singer, so I don't know much, but I liked her voice and I thought she performed so much better live than on the show. Her shoes were very sparkly and awesome and her dancing was pretty good, too. She made me like that Alicia Keys song, which I HATE with a passion beyond words on the radio because OMG ALICIA (and Leona Lewis! I'm looking at you, too!) please don't SCREAM at me through the radio. It's unnecessary. Screaming does not equal passionate display of emotion. It equals me turning the station.
I loved Single Ladies!! I stood up, I did the dance, my sister laughed at me. Whatever! GRANNY was way more excited than I was, but she couldn't quite get the hang of the robot hand of fierce. Lil's voice sounded decent on it. My sister was all, "Well, she's not Beyonce," but I mean, NO ONE is Beyonce except Beyonce. She should've sung Diva though, that would've been great. Can you imagine Lil being all, "This is a stick-up! I need them bags UH that money!" LOL FOREVER.
Anoop
ANOOOOOP. Anoop really impressed me. I think he's got a ways to go as far as confidence and performance, but he's got a lot of charisma and his voice is GORGEOUS as hell, WOW. The tone or whatever is just. YES. It was really nice, really lovely. I liked the R&B song best--what song is that?? They used it on SYTYCD, didn't they?--and I thought it fit his voice and his persona best as well. Always On My Mind was beautiful, but a bit yawny. I fucking love 'My Prerogative' but every time I hear it, I just think of Britney's version and her video for that song and everything else kind of pales in comparison. I mean, it's just not the same hearing Anoop sing, "They say I'm crazy! I really don't care" as it is hearing Britney sing it. Still, enjoyable, and he spread himself around all over the amazon twins, who lost their minds and were on the verge of flashing him by the end.
My mom didn't like his sneakers. Yeah, I don't know, my mom is crazy! The sneakers were awesome. They were purple. And awesome. GRANNY nearly had a heart attack during Anoop. We kept trying to guess who she was there for, but it seemed like she lost it more and more with every performance, so it was very hard to tell. I kept thinking she couldn't possibly go crazier, only to discover another level of insanity.
Matt
So, I should mention that anytime anyone mentioned Matt, the crowd went insane. The second his intro package started, the entire Palace erupted and had some kind of collective Mattgasm. Everyone on their feet, so freaking excited for MattyG. My sister's going, "Who is this? Why do we care about this guy??" and I'm just screaming my head off. MATTYG!!! He was so great, you guys, and clearly so happy to be in front of a home state crowd that was there for HIM (and Adam and Danny, but hush, lots of people were there for him, too.)
And he delivered. Some of his friends were a few rows down from us, jumping up and down so he'd see them, which he did. There was pointing involved. His piano playing is great, but unlike Scott, his voice is EQUALLY great. Well, maybe not equally, but pretty damn good. I loved his set. He wiped the sweat off his forehead with a towel and threw it into the audience, upon which time there was a desperate rush for the sweaty towel like this was a Justin concert or some shit. It was great. It was awesome to see him get so much love, and awesome to see HIM see how much love he was getting.
He's such a good performer, too. His voice isn't as good as Anoop's, maybe, but he SELLS it. If he gets signed, I think he could be really successful.
Meanwhile my sister was still going, "Who is this dude?" *facepalm* HE IS MATT GIRAUD AND HE WILL NOT BE SCORNED!!!
I'm not sure what GRANNY was doing during Matt, because I lost my entire fucking mind and couldn't be bothered to note GRANNY's antics. I liked Matt before. Now I am a full-on convert!! I would so be in his cult. Well, depending on the uniforms.
Group
Group number was enjoyable. I liked the Matt/Scott duet okay, but they could've chosen a better Billy Joel song. I kind of hate that song. Blah. They sounded good though. I liked the Beggin' number. Cute, and Megan's inability to stay in tune was covered up pretty well.
(Aside: it's not that I hate Megan's voice. I don't. I think she has a good voice and I love that Duffy-esque tone to it. But she has serious pitch problems and I think she just needs a lot of training to get that under control. She's not a bad singer, but she sounds like one when she can't stay in tune.)
Intermission
During intermission, the group of high school kids behind us won after party passes. Lucky fuckers. We tried to win them, but even though I knew all about the sucky Ford Hybrids, I did not prevail. Probably a good thing, as I believe my sister wanted to tell Gokey something along the lines of watching him ascend to Heaven to be with his dead wife. My sister? Not a Gokey fan.
Allison
ALLISON!!! I enjoyed Allison, but I wasn't as blown away as I expected to be. Firstly, I hate that Pink song, and Allison was clearly concentrating on playing guitar and singing at the same time, which made both the guitar playing and the singing a bit lacking.
LOVED 'Cry Baby'. She was freaking amazing on that, I will say. AMAZING. I can't believe that's the song she went out on, and Danny got to stay with his Ghoulish Widower Scream like he was auditioning to be an extra in Saw V or something. Ugh. The world, it is unfair! On the other hand, Allison has a record deal, so I guess it doesn't really matter in the end.
Barricuda was also good, but her diction isn't spectacular and I don't actually know the words to that song, so it would've been nice to be able to tell what the words WERE. She also just seemed tired and run down, voice included. Poor kid. LET ALLISON SLEEP, OMG. GRANNY looked like she wanted to adopt Allison. Or possibly molest her. It was hard to tell with all the hair tossing and screaming and shaking. NO REALLY.
Gokey
So then it was Gokey. I had to physically restrain my sister from flicking him off, because there were children all around us, omg. So not appropriate! GRANNY stood up from the get go and seriously, I thought she was crazy before this, but during Danny, it was like the top of her head came off and inside were a hundred tiny gnomes all screaming and shaking and crying for Danny, too. It was some weird shit.
Sis: She wants to be Gokey's new dead wife.
Me: She wants to be Gokey's new OLD dead wife.
Me: ...we're horrible human beings.
Sis: Oh well! *middle fingers*
Danny's voice is quite good though, isn't it? Bah. I liked his singing. PYT I honestly could've done without. And then he took his jacket off and I was like, "...oh. OKAY. Here we go." Danny needs a t-shirt like Jessie from Big Brother has. I just kept thinking, "Welcome to the Young Gunz Show!" Nice. Gave me something to look at, at least, UNTIL THE DANCING. I sat there with my mouth hanging open in horror for like five minutes at Danny's awful dancing during 'Maria Maria.' It was so freaking bad, you guys. SO BAD. Now I understand why Simon kept telling him to stop. It's THAT BAD.
I liked 'What Hurts the Most' just because I like that song. My sister was not impressed and tried to utilize her middle fingers again, but I gave her my Look of Doom and she stopped. GRANNY was crying at this point. Screaming and crying and swaying. She was pretty much ready to ascend to Heaven right there with Gokey. So I guess the whole thing about her wanting to be his new OLD dead wife wasn't that far off.
I think he sang something else, but I can't remember. Failboats.
ADAM
I don't even know what to say about Adam. I mean, firstly, GRANNY got so excited that she grabbed my sister's arm. Seriously, that's how excited she was. On top of the shaking and crying and screaming and jumping up and down, she GRABBED A STRANGER AND SHOOK HER IN EXCITEMENT.
I can't blame her. It was pretty freaking exciting!!
So the second Danny left, the entire Palace was on its feet, including the family in front of us who hadn't stood for anything yet, and they were all screaming their faces off. And ADAM. OMG ADAM. He just. YESSSSS. He sounded freaking amazing, for one thing. And I knew it would be all grinding and microphone-jacking and all that, but I wasn't prepared for how much crazier and more awesome it would be live. OMFG. OMFG.
The father of the two girls in front of us? Just stood there with his mouth hanging open in shock while Adam masturbated the mike stand and the mom jumped around screaming and dancing. The little girls were like, "...what...ummmmm..." I don't think they GOT it. Hahahaha.
'Starlight' was a surprise in a good way. I thought it would sound more like the Muse version, but Adam's voice had this sort of quality to it that made it a very different song. Definitely more feminine, and also kind of alien in a good way. I really liked it.
Mad World was beautiful. My mom says she cried. Awwwwww.
Slow Ride was great!! Allison and Adam just have really great chemistry together, and the two of them on stage was almost an overdose of charisma, DAMN. No bras or boas or anything, although we did see a woman wearing a boa attempting to sneak into the floor section during intermission and being DENIED. Lol forever.
And then BOWIE. Omg, the Bowie medley. Of course, the kids in front of me were like, "What the frak is this shit?" and say down while the mom fucked around on her Blackberry like Adam wasn't singing motherfucking BOWIE, but everyone else was very excited. He took off the coat and my sister was like, "Uhhh... oooohhhhh." I took that as an indicator for her happiness.
I love his dancing. I love how he moves, how he plays with feminine and masculine until he just confuses people so much that they just have to let go of their preconceived notions and HAVE FUN. He was clearly having fun, and that made ME have fun. I was sad when his set ended, even though I knew Kris was next. I can't wait until his solo tour. Can you imagine two HOURS of Adam Lambert?? I think I'd turn into GRANNY and start shaking people!
Kris
Kris!! Kris was so great. I didn't see anyone leaving during his set, which was nice. People were loud for him, too. Loved 'Heartless.' And damn, but Kris is really REALLY tiny. And sexy. And pretty. DAMN.
My sister was like, "I liked his shoes." Sigh.
Anyway, loved Heartless, loved the Killers song. A lot of people sat down during it, which surprised me. It seemed like they didn't really KNOW the song, which--how can you not know the Killers? What, were you living under a sad, sad rock for the last five years? Sigh.
'Ain't No Sunshine' was lovely, of course, if way too short. I still think Kris's version is way too much like Justin's Grammy version, but I don't really care. Kris sings it better, actually, so.
My favorite was Bright Lights, though. I love that song. I wish I had a studio Kris version of it, because I love it so much. And he was freaking RIDING his piano bench like it was Adam's disco stick or something. Adam maybe masturbates microphone stands, but Kris violates piano benches, and they LOVE IT.
(HAHA BENCHES.)
Kris has a lot of charisma and charm and he's very emotional about his singing, really INTO it. He reminds me of JC in a way... it doesn't seem to matter what he's singing, I always believe him when he does. His performances seem to come from a place of deep feeling and sincerity, and it's definitely different than Adam's THIS IS A FUCKING SHOW style, but it's brilliant in a completely different way. I hope he has some good songs on his album, because I really do think he's something special and he could go far.
Hey Jude was good, but mostly Kris's *Judaaay!!!*. I definitely liked Bright Lights the best. And seriously, if anyone has a really clear version of it, I would love you forever if you gave it to me! Also during Hey Jude, someone tossed a t-shirt on stage for Kris. He picked it up, looked at it, and tossed it back down on stage. I think it was a Pistons shirt, in which case--good call, Kris. They should've at least thrown Red Wings, ie a team from Detroit that's actually good and something to be proud of. I mean, I know we were at the Palace, and not The Joe, but still. The Pistons?? Kris isn't lame enough to want that!
Don't Stop Believing!
Okay so. You know how there's the line, "Just a small town boy / growing up in south Detroit!"?? WELL. I couldn't hear anything after that for like a minute because the entire crowd went apeshit, it being DETROIT and all, and Matt had the biggest grin on his face. It was totally adorable. A definitely Moment.
I kind of zoned out until Adam and Kris came on after that, to be honest. There wasn't much kradam. They did a little dance, not even the Blowjob dance, more dorky goodtimes dance than anything else. And then. THEN. They turned to head back to the band, and I was TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE by a Lambkey moment. I almost threw up, I swear. Adam and Danny sang to each other and made funny faces and it was kind of a adorable in a godly way and GRANNY nearly had an aneurysm at the sight of her two favorites interacting adorably grossly. I was worried for the continued structural integrity of her vascular system, seriously.
And then Adam hit his crazy note, which I could only vaguely hear because the band chose that moment to get way too loud (booo, you whores!), and then it was over.
*sadface*
On our way out of the Palace, I saw a girl wearing an 'I Heart Kradam' t-shirt. I thought about stopping her but she looked young and also flustered/in a hurry, so I didn't want to seem like some creepy 29-year-old lady accosting a child and demanding to know her thoughts on Kradam.
However, apparently me being a creepy 29-year-old slasher lady didn't stop girls from accosting ME, because two of them ran up to me as we were walking out wanting to know where I'd gotten my shirt. (I was, of course, wearing the best t-shirt in the world: Republicans for Voldemort.) I explained that I live in Texas and I'd gotten it from the Drafthouse, but they could get them online, and they seemed very excited about the prospect. Yeah, I don't know! I mean, it's a cool shirt, but I can't help feeling like maybe ulterior motives were involved. WAS IT ONE OF YOU?? Were you too afraid to be like, "OMG KRADAM RULES!" and so you decided to ask me about my t-shirt instead?
I want to know who the kradam girl was, too. This is like the time someone texted "Chris loves Lamp" to the screens at the Justin show in Vegas. We never did find out who did it, but it was SO AWESOME.
In conclusion: the concert was amazing and I'm glad I spent $300 on plane fare and concert tickets to go. Totally worth it, especially to see MattyG get so much love.