Mr. Smith, I'll Try to Make This Quick and Painless

[onraet]

My life since my update (in point form):

- Not a dad
- got on unemployment
- got a new job
- found three places to stay at
- got my bike stolen
- got my boxers stolen by a married chick
- drank so much my liver loves me
- got blamed for rape, and nearly had to go to jail
- cleared of all charges

My life is so exciting.