One step forward, two steps back
I have a killer headache, I believe I have cancer festering in the back of my eye. it happens all the time but goes away after awhile. I had a dream where i played with some dogs and cats with my friends mom while she sat and watched then walked off with others. my hands had a burning sensation. i looked it up. i think someone else has succeeded where i failed. I’m not surprised at that, I’m no competition, but it's that feeling. that feeling that i thought i got rid of two years ago is slowly creeping back. no feelings are lost if this is true between me and her, but she might not want to be around me anymore. that's normal. as the summer days die off and hell inches closer, i get more and more stressed about what I am going to have to face. make a choice that I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. people are investing in me and i haven't a clue what to do. they think that I don't apply myself, i do, but being told that you are not meant for this, really doesn't give me the motivation to accomplish what I’m not meant to do. I’m going to have to think of something fast and choose, but I have no clue what i want yet or what i am capable of doing. I wish there was a test for that.