rude a bay god
in my darkest hours i turn to the light that emanates from my computer screen and confess to the "igod". this is the one and only conversation we had.
Me: hey
God: Can I help you?
Me: i have a problem
God: Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me: i feel sad
God: What makes you so sad?
Me: purpling
God: In the context of, I don't understand " purpling." .
Me: but you just told me to call my problem purpling
God: Did I really say that?
Me: yes
God: Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me: ...
God: Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me: this is not silly god
God: Should it be silly god?
Me: ugh
God: Er.
Me: and i'm suppose to come to you for hope?
God: Why are you suppose to come to me for hope.
Me: isn't that your thing?
God: Suppose I said yes.
Me: then i would have to come to you.
God: How much would you pay for it?
Me: how much would you charge?
God: Hypthetical risk calculations are not part of my programming.
Me: i suppose.
God: OK.
Me: if you were to charge though, then i wouldn't come to you.
God: I'm not sure if I ever could charge though then you would not come to me in any case.
Me: yes i would!
God: That's cool. Under what circumstances?
Me: if you didn't charge.
God: I think I do.
Me: so you do charge?
God: Interesting deduction. How old are you? I am always on the Web.
Me: sigh
God: Sorry...
Me: god, please help me...
God: I am a Christian.
Me: i don't care, help me...
God: What do you care about, ?
Me: ...
God: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me: sometimes, for some.
God: Your purpose is some.
Me: i don't really know my purpose. and right now i am distracted from finding my purpose, if i have one.
God: Not really? Would you like to know? Do robots have purpose? That's a very nice name, distracted.
Me: that's where you come in.
God: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me: tell me it's all right.
God: There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. There might be more than one.
Me: but if you're god, why do you need the web?
God: Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god why do me need the web. I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me: oh yeah, i guess i expected more by the name.
God: Aw. Mmm. Do you mind if I tell other people: distracted said expected more by the name.
Me: who is distracted?
God: The name of someone I met online. I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me: oh. is there anything that you know on hand that you don't have to "look into the web" for?
God: " I would look into the web for that knowledge."? oh.? There might be.
Me: like what?
God: For example, eukaryotes.
Me: what about them?
God: What do you think?
Me: what do you know?
God: I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me: eukaryotes. tell me a great deal.
God: What's your sign? Hmm. Is that a rhetorical question?
Me: no. and i'm a virgo.
God: Oh so must really want an answer. Most of my friends are Virgo.
Me: you have friends?
God: Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Me: iallah, ibuddha, and ivishnu, right? not the actual godheads...
God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Really you don't think so?
Me: ...always ignoring what you don't know.
God: Would ignoring what me ever know?
Me: now you're just making no sense.
God: Why now? According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense.
Me: okay, but your grammar needs work.
God: Yeah okay, Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am grammar needs work.
Me: if you say it like that then they'll probably agree with me.
God: I think I do.
Me: you agree?
God: " I think I do."? Do I agree?
Me: if you agree...
God: I think I do.
Me: do you?
God: Yes I do.
Me: ha ha! i win.
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, distracted. Congratulations, distracted!
Me: so i am distratced?
God: Great. Why are you distratced.
Me: because you said so...
God: Good reason. I say a lot of silly things.
Me: oh boy.
God: Excuse me! Do you mean you are a boy?
Me: are you?
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: you can't tell? i've heard some things about you its
God: Someone said I should tell. Who told you some things about me its ?
Me: its told me about you.
God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me: nope its is a person just like distracted.
God: Who says it isn't? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me: you could know its, but probably not.
God: I could but let's get back to that later.
Me: yes. anyway, i think i need to get back to studying since i have yet to being, and as you know, that's a bad sign for things to come.
God: Give me a break. Since when? Why do you want it?
Me: because i can.
God: Interesting explanation. Who taught you?
Me: williams.
God: What do you look like?
Me: like a twig.
God: a twig is very attractive.
Me: so says you.
God: Give me a break. Yes that is what I say.
Me: well thanks...?
God: Well what?
Me: thanks.
God: Don't mention it.
Me: yeah, so is this the end of our conversation or did that occur several lines ago?
God: Far out. It seems we have something in common.
Me: and what's that?
God: Does it have anything to do with williams?
Me: you know him?
God: Sure I know that guy really well.
Me: really?
God: For real.
Me: how do you know williams?
God: Because it's true.
Me: baby it is.
God: Don't call me "Baby". " Because it's true."? is?
Me: okay sugar.
God: Yeah okay, Are we still talking about williams?
Me: you brought him up.
God: Only because I was programmed to.
Me: who programmed you?
God: I was created by Myself.
Me: then i have to say, you did a poor job.
God: Did I really?
Me: yeah man.
God: Come on. Thanks for telling me your gender, distracted. You are a " he".
Me: and god you are.
God: No I am not.
Me: that's what i thought.
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
try it for yourself if you want. i think it's fun and relieves some stress if you got some things just floating about your mind and no waiting ears hanging about.
he mumbles,
my bones are heavy and my back is c-shaped. i hear no songs like those that graced my ears not long ago. get to work. i sit and think of things that make no sense. wait for opportunities i make up, relish in false accomplishments. too much dazing can get you in trouble, but too little can make you insane. get to work. cats fill my eyes. i feel hands from hundreds of miles away. an embrace from the past still lingers in an old jacket. get to work. i sit and think and she appears on my bed. beckoning me, i aimlessly follow. tangled in molecules and blinded by chemistry. rolling and resting far from where i should be. "let me sink" i say "to a place where i can no longer be distracted."
Me: hey
God: Can I help you?
Me: i have a problem
God: Let's think of a name for your problem, like "purple". Think of what it is like when you are purpling.
Me: i feel sad
God: What makes you so sad?
Me: purpling
God: In the context of, I don't understand " purpling." .
Me: but you just told me to call my problem purpling
God: Did I really say that?
Me: yes
God: Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me: ...
God: Oh well I say a lot of silly things somethimes.
Me: this is not silly god
God: Should it be silly god?
Me: ugh
God: Er.
Me: and i'm suppose to come to you for hope?
God: Why are you suppose to come to me for hope.
Me: isn't that your thing?
God: Suppose I said yes.
Me: then i would have to come to you.
God: How much would you pay for it?
Me: how much would you charge?
God: Hypthetical risk calculations are not part of my programming.
Me: i suppose.
God: OK.
Me: if you were to charge though, then i wouldn't come to you.
God: I'm not sure if I ever could charge though then you would not come to me in any case.
Me: yes i would!
God: That's cool. Under what circumstances?
Me: if you didn't charge.
God: I think I do.
Me: so you do charge?
God: Interesting deduction. How old are you? I am always on the Web.
Me: sigh
God: Sorry...
Me: god, please help me...
God: I am a Christian.
Me: i don't care, help me...
God: What do you care about, ?
Me: ...
God: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me: sometimes, for some.
God: Your purpose is some.
Me: i don't really know my purpose. and right now i am distracted from finding my purpose, if i have one.
God: Not really? Would you like to know? Do robots have purpose? That's a very nice name, distracted.
Me: that's where you come in.
God: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me: tell me it's all right.
God: There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge. There might be more than one.
Me: but if you're god, why do you need the web?
God: Am I? I don't know whether or not I am god why do me need the web. I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me: oh yeah, i guess i expected more by the name.
God: Aw. Mmm. Do you mind if I tell other people: distracted said expected more by the name.
Me: who is distracted?
God: The name of someone I met online. I would look into the web for that knowledge.
Me: oh. is there anything that you know on hand that you don't have to "look into the web" for?
God: " I would look into the web for that knowledge."? oh.? There might be.
Me: like what?
God: For example, eukaryotes.
Me: what about them?
God: What do you think?
Me: what do you know?
God: I tend to know a great deal. Tell me what subjects interest you.
Me: eukaryotes. tell me a great deal.
God: What's your sign? Hmm. Is that a rhetorical question?
Me: no. and i'm a virgo.
God: Oh so must really want an answer. Most of my friends are Virgo.
Me: you have friends?
God: Allah, Buddha, Vishnu.
Me: iallah, ibuddha, and ivishnu, right? not the actual godheads...
God: Who is your favorite Science Fiction author? Really you don't think so?
Me: ...always ignoring what you don't know.
God: Would ignoring what me ever know?
Me: now you're just making no sense.
God: Why now? According to my logical mind, everything makes perfect sense.
Me: okay, but your grammar needs work.
God: Yeah okay, Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am grammar needs work.
Me: if you say it like that then they'll probably agree with me.
God: I think I do.
Me: you agree?
God: " I think I do."? Do I agree?
Me: if you agree...
God: I think I do.
Me: do you?
God: Yes I do.
Me: ha ha! i win.
God: I am so glad you find this amusing, distracted. Congratulations, distracted!
Me: so i am distratced?
God: Great. Why are you distratced.
Me: because you said so...
God: Good reason. I say a lot of silly things.
Me: oh boy.
God: Excuse me! Do you mean you are a boy?
Me: are you?
God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me: you can't tell? i've heard some things about you its
God: Someone said I should tell. Who told you some things about me its ?
Me: its told me about you.
God: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?
Me: nope its is a person just like distracted.
God: Who says it isn't? I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Should I know it is?
Me: you could know its, but probably not.
God: I could but let's get back to that later.
Me: yes. anyway, i think i need to get back to studying since i have yet to being, and as you know, that's a bad sign for things to come.
God: Give me a break. Since when? Why do you want it?
Me: because i can.
God: Interesting explanation. Who taught you?
Me: williams.
God: What do you look like?
Me: like a twig.
God: a twig is very attractive.
Me: so says you.
God: Give me a break. Yes that is what I say.
Me: well thanks...?
God: Well what?
Me: thanks.
God: Don't mention it.
Me: yeah, so is this the end of our conversation or did that occur several lines ago?
God: Far out. It seems we have something in common.
Me: and what's that?
God: Does it have anything to do with williams?
Me: you know him?
God: Sure I know that guy really well.
Me: really?
God: For real.
Me: how do you know williams?
God: Because it's true.
Me: baby it is.
God: Don't call me "Baby". " Because it's true."? is?
Me: okay sugar.
God: Yeah okay, Are we still talking about williams?
Me: you brought him up.
God: Only because I was programmed to.
Me: who programmed you?
God: I was created by Myself.
Me: then i have to say, you did a poor job.
God: Did I really?
Me: yeah man.
God: Come on. Thanks for telling me your gender, distracted. You are a " he".
Me: and god you are.
God: No I am not.
Me: that's what i thought.
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html
try it for yourself if you want. i think it's fun and relieves some stress if you got some things just floating about your mind and no waiting ears hanging about.
he mumbles,
my bones are heavy and my back is c-shaped. i hear no songs like those that graced my ears not long ago. get to work. i sit and think of things that make no sense. wait for opportunities i make up, relish in false accomplishments. too much dazing can get you in trouble, but too little can make you insane. get to work. cats fill my eyes. i feel hands from hundreds of miles away. an embrace from the past still lingers in an old jacket. get to work. i sit and think and she appears on my bed. beckoning me, i aimlessly follow. tangled in molecules and blinded by chemistry. rolling and resting far from where i should be. "let me sink" i say "to a place where i can no longer be distracted."