Yuffie was not surprised by Jinx dragging her in the house and her stealing the bags from Yuffie's back and arms. In fact, it as a relief to see her happy and practically bouncing off the walls in a way Yuffie hadn't gotten the privilege to see her friend before. In made her smile a little less fake. She hadn't expected anything other then Jinx's normal behavior which included some very incorrect ideas of social norms. Showing up saying "Hey Yuff, can you stitch my arm" was one of them, sniffing her was another.
As Yuffie pulled off her boots and went to stand behind Jinx. She thought she had gotten off fairly easy. Jinx was probably not going to ask and she wouldn't have to talk and-
That hope was dashed to pieces as Jinx's arms were thrown around her. She stood still as her friend asked what was wrong and how she could help and all Yuffie could do was stare at the wall opposite and try to come up with a reasoning, something to say so she didn't have to say the words to anyone else, didn't have to admit...
She would not let this hurt her she would not let this hurt she wouldn't would not wouldn't would not she couldn't. If he was going to....he had...God damn it..He had promised he would stay and she like an idiot, had believed him.
Yuffie finally hugged Jinx back, but it was probably closer to clinging. Her eyes squeezed shut and her whole being trying not to break down right there in the doorway of some guy of Jinx was in love with that she had never even met. Fuck.
"I...God. Shit. Jinx I dunno what to do." Yuffie barely got the words out, they sounded so wrong coming from her, her voice harsh and rough and not her at all.
Jinx's eyes widened more as Yuffie clung to her. What the hell has happened? was ti that Cloud guy messing with her head again? It was best not to ask while they were still standing. Leaving all her shit thrown about the entryway, Jinx released from her best friend and grabbed her hand. Those words that could barely come out of her mouth were enough to spark a world of worry in the assassin. "Yuff, come on, let's go sit down and talk about this." And with that, she proceeded to drag the thief into the living room that Jinx had gotten much too comfortable in for her own good. The house was warm, smelling of the wonderful food that Jushirou was cooking for dinner. It was nice, kind and full of so many memories now. And for the time being, the three people she cared about most in this room where gathered in the same building.
Whether she liked it or not, Yuffie was going to sit down on the couch. With just a tinge of strength that may have been very odd for her size, Jinx made her friend sit down, and she came to rest beside her, never letting go of her hand. What the Hell had happened to this girl? She had never been like this before. The roles had most certainly switched. Yuffie was always the one looking on the bright side, the happy one even when things were going wrong. And Jinx was the one looking on the world with a dim light, not trusting a soul and playing dead every day. And now the two girls were sitting there, showing that Jinx was not the only one truly broken.
Before she continued to interrogate, Jinx looked her friend up and down. Why did all these signs seem familiar? And that was when it hit the assassin, and it hit her hard. Her eyes widening even more, if they were not already catlike enough, she clasped a hand over her mouth. This was what Jinx had felt like when she... when she had lost Gin.
Slowly removing her hand from her mouth, her look softened a lot, her mouth still a bit agape. And maybe all too quickly, she pulled her best friend into her arms once more. "Oh god, Yuff... no... what the hell happened? Tell me Cloud is just being an ass hole again. Please... just... oh god..." And for the second time in her life (the first being in Shunsui's arms,) Jinx was at a loss for words.
Yuffie let herself be led through the house to the couch, she liked the look of this place. It smelled like a home. She hadn't been at a place that felt that way, out side of Seventh Heaven and sometimes Cl-....she hadn't felt that kind of homey feeling in a while. She suddenly had a wave of loss, as for the first time in YEARS she missed her mother and father. Godo and Satsuna had been good to her as a kid. Even if Godo had been a bastard later, it was because her mom had died. She hadn't been very nice after hermom had died either.
She let her eyes drop to the floor as Jinx began to ask her about things. Didn't she ever learn that silence meant shut up? Now that she had gotten a second to focus, She didn't want to talk. Talking meant admitting and admitting meant letting go and there was no fucking way she was letting him go after everything they had been through. Cause that would mean the last time they saw each other was over a toaster and the last time they talked she screamed she hated him. He was...God there really was no other word then Nakama. Family. Comrade....translation got sketchy. Translations were always a little sketchy, it had been years since she had really worked with other languages outside of her head so her sentence structure was a little fucked she was sure. She-Her brain blanked as Jinx hugged her again and held her tight.
Yuffie sort of came back to her head a little since her rabbling thought train had been disrupted and realized that she was shaking, once again she was shaking and it was hard to breathe. All it took was Jinx asking again for her to break.
"He...he promised he wasn't going anywhere." She said into Jinx's shoulder. "Fucking bastard promised."
For fear that they were going to get too large with amazement and falls out of her head, Jinx closed her eyes and gave a long sigh, holding her shaking best friend. Never before had the assassin ever been a shoulder to cry on. The closest she ever got to people were her twin brother and Gin, and both of them had left her. Yet they never got deep with her, they never needed to cry on her shoulder, it was always the other way around. So this was a pretty new experience for Jinx, holding Yuffie close and making a soft cooing noise, rubbing her back and being there for her. Human contact was alway nice, bringing a lasting tingle to her skin. People had so many different emotions, so many reasons for doing things. This was something called sorrow.
This was another reason why Jinx was a bad person. While her friend was so desperate, almost in tears, the assassin was analyzing and categorizing her. Shaking those thoughts out of her head, she focused on the words Yuffie was saying, how hurt she was by all of this. Yet... what was all of this? Shaking her head, biting her lip, she continued to rub her best friend's back. There was a number of things that could have happened, and they all involved Cloud. But she was not going to jump to any conclusions... even though he was more than likely dead.
Living in this city, even being an incredible thief, she had still not figured out the natural order of things. When people did stupid things, they almost always paid for it. Jinx was an exception, because she knew how to back it up, she knew how not to get killed. When Gin left, she did something incredibly stupid and got slashed for it. Luckily, Shunsui was there to set her straight. It looked like the same thing did not happen for Cloud. He had done something stupid, he could not back it up... and this was what happened.
What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to do aside from hold her best friend and let her speak. Threats did not work for the dead, and that seemed to be one of the only things Jinx knew how to do. Actually, she knew how to do a lot of things, just human emotions were a whole other world for here that she was just now discovering. Things were happening too quickly. Passion, love, sympathy, kindness and many other things that she had not felt since the last time she saw N.A.O.E. Taking another deep breath, she opened her eyes and looked quickly around the living room, hoping Shunsui would randomly appear next to them to offer advice, to make this all better. Because with Jinx in charge, this was not going to get better.
Thinking more, she started to go off what Shunsui would say, the things he had told Jinx to make her feel better. "It's going to be okay." That was a good start. "You're safe here. I'm your friend. You can talk to me about this." And forcing these last few phrases out of her mouth, she awkwardly told her, "I'm here for you, and I care for you. I'm not going anywhere. Please, talk to me, Yuff."
Contrary to popular belief, Yuffie had very few people she honestly talked to, minus the flirting or the bitchiness or simply playing up the great ninja Yuffie act that had originally made people not wish to hire her as a younger girl. She occasionally really talked to Reno, probably would to Rikku when she knew her better, she talked to Tifa, and Jinx...But Cloud had been her best friend. In almost every sense. Big brother taking care of her and all that and god knows she'd needed taking care of. So she kept trying to think of a way to leave so she could call him and freak out...only to remember that he was the reason why.
In a detached part of her mind, Yuffie realized how hard this must be for Jinx. For god sake the girl was so easily confused be emotions as far away as on the television. Let alone half in her lap and curled up like a kid with a bad dream. Which felt like it was not far from the truth. Which was probably the only reason she didn't start screaming at her for promising things she couldn't damn it because if Cloud went away that meant anyone could go away. And that was the scariest fucking thing in the world.
"Remember when..."Yuffie heard herself speaking before she really knew she was doing it. "Remember how I told you...about that friend?"
what was she doing she couldn't say a word not a word stupid idiot why was she saying anything?
"And remember how I said how freaky they were about past stuff and how the-they would rewrite conversations and stuff like that?"
"And...um..." Her words trailed off as she tried to find a way to make it stop hurting long enough to tell anything.
Yuffie felt like her throat was closing up as she tried to talk, her face still buried in Jinx's shoulder. She was sure she had to be hurting Jinx. Probably was from how hard she was clinging on.
Biting her bottom lip until it started to bleed, Jinx nodded, still trying to keep up the cooing noise. On television, that was what a mother always did when trying to calm down one of her children. To rock them, coo softly, give them comforting words. The assassin stayed away from the rocking part of that, though, in fear that it would just make her look like more of a psychopath. Digging deep into her mind, she continued to wonder what Shunsui would do. All she could get down was that damn noise and rubbing her back as Yuffie was melting down. She could not blame her, and she did really want to help in any way she possibly could, yet this was a way she could not be of any use.
At least with her forced words, she managed to get Yuffie to talk a bit about what happened. It was more like a prelude into something much bigger, but at least it was a start. Having Yuffie buried in her shoulder was a very odd feeling, and the squeezing of her body, the clinging, obstructed her breathing quite uncomfortably. She could deal for the time being. It was no big deal. Who needed air to survive anyway?
So, Cloud was the crazy one. Pot calling the kettle black. Jinx was actually jealous of that trait Cloud had. To be able to rewrite the past... that was something that looked beautiful. If there was anything to make Jinx forget, anything to make her not remember a single bad thing about her past, she would take it. She would swallow a handful of pills, inject herself, hurt herself in any way to, well, forget the pain. To suppress the nightmares. Shunsui probably worried about her some nights as she thrashed in bed, having nightmares, whining and sweating, remembering the shock therapy, the surgeries without anesthetic, the things that had made her a monster. She was never meant to be able to function in the real world. Once they pushed her to her limits, once they finally broke their doll beyond repair, Jinx was supposed to be terminated. That plan never went through, and at times she wished it had.
Kissing the top of Yuffie's head, she cooed a "Shhh..." Maybe this was that small bit of maternal instinct she had left in her. It was hard to feel motherly when Jinx knew she would never be one. Her uterus was just a mangled organ inside of her body, not able to function. Motherly feelings never came to her, and right now she was forcing them. "I know... I know..." she whispered, taking on full assumption that Cloud was deceased.
"I'm not going anywhere, Yuffie," she told her softly, whispering so the men could have no chance of hearing. "The only person who could take me out has been dead for many years. You can't get rid of me that easily."
Worriedly, her eyes scanned the surrounding room again, looking worried and almost frightened. She had no idea what to do. Where was the man who seemed to know everything about emotions? Were there words to summon Shunsui? Actually... there probably were, but calling out things about nudity or alcohol in this situation may have not been the best things. Begging for help, she searched the room once more, hoping as much as she could that he would see this and help.
Shunsui was taking too long to get ready, but running late wasnt that unusual for him. He heard Jinx get the door and assumed everything was taken care of.
When he came in, he found things to be an entirely different matter.
"Hello there" He said, but it was really more of a question directed at Jinx. What was going on?
Yuffie wanted to believe Jinx. She really really did. In the way that a child wanted to believe that there was no monster, that the shadows wouldn't hurt her. But there was also that grown up part of her that was screaming that she had no idea what she was talking about. Did Jinx think she was immortal? Hell fucking no. The other girl was as real as any person she had met so that meant she was just as breakable. Humans were breakable. Even the invincible ones. She finally just gave up. Cause she breakable too.
"He found out who did all-all of that shit to his parents." She continued only realizing that she was crying again when she felt the wet on her cheeks. "He found out and he took them out."
Here came the part she didn't want to say, it was as painful as if she had stabbed herself in the chest.
"He figured to get them, it didn't matter...what happened to him. So he said he was going, told me he loved me, then the asshole blew himself up!" She said, her voice was shaky and weirdly quiet for the anger behind them. Once the words were out it was like a dam breaking and she just clung to Jinx and tried to keep herself from screaming as she rambled. "Who fucking does that? After everything he just...Damn it!"
She was so out of it she didn't even hear the man enter until he spoke. Fuck. FUCK. Yuffie sat back just enough to get her hand to her face to wipe away the mess of tears. She was allowed to be a mess in front of Jinx. Hell, she would let herself be a mess in front of quite a few people more then she would honestly give the time of day. But someone she had never met was not one of them.
Oh shit. Shit, shit, fuck, goddamn fucking shit... fuck. FUCK! Jinx felt her shoulder getting wet. That meant tears. That means Yuffie was literally using her as a shoulder to cry on and Jinx had no idea what to do. So she continued listening, making that damn noise until it became automatic, and occasionally nodded for affirmation that she was still paying attention. So, Cloud went kamikaze. As much as she could, she tried not to look at this coldly, tried her best to feel sympathy. She truly did... but it meant one less AMC. And things like this had happened many times before. Everyone should have been used to it by now.
But thinking back to losing Gin, comparing it to this situation, she felt like absolute shit and hugged Yuffie back tighter, yet not half as tight as she was being clung to. Thinking of the right words to say, or at least hoping they would come with all her might, she was interrupted when movement caught her eye. Thank fucking god.
Looking at Shunsui desperately, she mouthed the word Help. Jinx cared for Yuffie, maybe even loved her as a best friend should, but right now she was white as a ghost and more than just a little freaked out. And Shunsui's help was alerting Yuffie of his presence. As the girl pulled away, Jinx quickly stood up, standing in front of Yuffie. Part of it was to hide the thief's emotions, because crying in front of someone she did not know in a strange house must have been a terrible feeling. The other half was to try and get away before Jinx had to continue playing emotional and acting her age.
Catlike eyes huge, her breathing rate a bit faster than normal, she came to Shunsui and gave him a greeting peck on the cheek. It was also so she could whisper into his ear surprisingly covertly, "Her friend's gone." Those three words were silent to anyone but Shunsui, and thank god. Telling Yuffie that Cloud was actually dead and not coming back could quite possibly send her into shock.
Pulling away from Shunsui, she turned around and gave an incredibly awkward smile. "Yuff, this is Shunsui, the man I've told you about. Shushu, this is my best friend Yuffie. Isn't she just the cutest?" And nervously laughing, looking as if she was completely losing her marbles, she almost shouted, "Hey? Who wants to get wasted?" Jinx was almost freaking out as badly as Yuffie, the overload of emotions becoming too much for her. It showed a little too obviously when the unlit bulb in a nearby lamp shattered with a flash of pink light. It was loud and a bit violent for spontaneous combustion through telekinesis, but Jinx seemed to not notice.
Oh dear. What a tragedy, and the poor girl had still kept her dinner appointment.
"It's very nice to meet you, Yuffie" Shunsui said. As the lightbulb suddenly popped, he jumped a little, his hand almost going to his hip were he'd worn his gun for years. "Ah- Sorry about that. Must have been a surge in the power lines. May I get you anything?" Shunsui asked.
He wasn't quite sure what to do with two upset women, except do the best he could. He also wondered a way to warn Jushirou, it was likely he'd come out to see what broke.
Yuffie' head HURT and she was sure she looked like shit. But she was a top of the line thief for a reason. Many reasons. One of them being she could fake her way though more then most. She felt like quite the little fool for practically using Jinx as a very large handkerchief.
She sat through Jinx's running about with her hands over her face, trying to calm back down. For fuck sake she was not a little kid. She could work with this, it was just another job. Just something else she had to do.
Finally feeling back in some semblance of control, Yuffie looked over to see who this person Jinx was enamored with was. And blinked a few times. Wow. Not what she had expected. He seemed nice and all so far but...really....not what she had expected. Jinx...Always struck her as having interesting taste though.
"Getting wasted sounds great." She said still a little shaky but a lot less so then before. "Nice to meet ya too. And I know about strange power surges. I have had some interesting electrical shit in my apartment." Talking about random things made her able to focus on something. That made things easier.
"I brought stuff so J wouldn't have to steal cloths anymore." Yuffie faked a smile and hoped to anything that would listen that it was convincing. She was not willing to subject herself to being that big of a mess for longer then was absolutely necessary. Especially in front of people who she didn't know.
For just a moment, she was oblivious to what she had done, her emotions spiking. Yet she saw Shunsui jump. Since he was so near to her, she became alert, growling as her eyes shifted toward what she had done. Her eyes came back to Shunsui when she caught a glimpse of the twitch in his hand. That calmed her, thinking about his instincts from being a cop for so many years. Jinx still had much to learn about this man. She still had much to memorize about his behavior.
A surge in the power lines. There were many of those surges when Jinx was around. The things she had accidentally broken in Shunsui's bedroom when she lost control. Lately, she had been trying to control her anger, but the occasional light bulb fell under her wrath. If she let her temper too out of control, it would become noticeable. They would begin to connect the flashes of pink with her emotions as they spiked. And one of the worst things would be if her eyes began to glow bright pink. That would bring on too many questions that would not be easily answered. At times she wished the two men were as dense as Tommy was, then she could get away with murder. Speaking of which, that message was still on her cell phone.
Now that she had been silent for a while, zoning out and staring at the lamp, she felt calmer. Turning back to the conversation, she looked up to Shunsui and saw the tinge of discomfort in his expression. Giving him a wink, she put her hand on his chest, glad of his politeness. Silently she mouthed "Thank you". Right now she began to block out the emotions Yuffie had been sending, trying to pretend nothing was wrong. She was not at all empathetical and she was not soon going to start, so forgetting what had been there just a moment ago was easy. That was also how her moods worked, constantly fluctuating.
Turning back to Yuffie, hoping she had gotten ahold of herself, she gave a weak smile. "Thanks for coming, and bringing my shit." And now, was it time to make an escape? What was the worse decision to make? She could ask Shunsui to go grab one of the many bottles of alcohol from the kitchen... yet that would mean Yuffie may begin to break again. But if Jinx went and grabbed it, she would probably end up curled between Jushirou's feet as he cooked, on the floor with no plans of returning to the scene until dinner was served. ...and at that moment, Jinx made a grave decision.
After kissing Shunsui on the lips, holding there for longer than what was probably socially acceptable, a bit more sensual than intended as well, she gave him an apologetic smile. "How about you go grab us some beer or something and another light bulb, eh? Please, ShuShu." She was giving him an escape. Though her eyes were trying to scream for him not to leave her, the grin across her lips begged to differ. And forcing herself, she sat back down on the couch with Yuffie, except a couch cushion away. The assassin was trying to be compassionate, she really was, it just was not working for her. "All right, Yuff. We're going to get really drunk, listen to a lot of Madonna, eat awesome Japanese food and talk about stupid shit." And then her mind, trying to be anywhere but in this situation, came to a conclusion. "Wow... I'm the only Italian in the house. Sometimes I get the feeling that Japan is migrating..."
Jinx really hoped this decision was the right one.
Yuffie didn't look at Jinx once ShuShu left the room. She could guess that she had made Jinx uncomfortable. She had very little ability to interact in a way that seemed proper to well....she had thought being in love meant she was dying. That seemed to be a problem and then just a bit after that revelation she had basically used the girl as a tissue. Smart Yuffs, smart.
It was a whole hell of a lot easier to focus on Jinx or on the embarrassment of the situation instead of the fact that it felt like she had a hole in her chest. What the hell was she going to do. What the hell was she going to do? If this kind of mess kept up then there could be all sorts of problems. And it would do her no good to be distracted in any case. Watch her try to go on a job like this and get herself shot...
"Getting waisted sounds amazing, does it have to only be Madonna and I am so hungry you would not believe it. It smells great and I don't think I've eaten since...sometime yesterday..." Yuffie looked up and finally actually looked at her friend.
"And it's safe to say you like the migration from who you surround yourself with. Also..." She looked at Jinx and was sure that had been the same thing she had last seen her in. "Do you want to get changed now?"
She was also trying to avoid thinking of anything even remotely related to her current depression so she immediately did what she did best, well...besides thieving...and code breaking...and the other things she was best at,Pestering.
"And another thought, that's ShuShu? I mean...seems nice and all but that's him?"
Yuffie was sure her act was nowhere near convincing but she hoped J would not call her on it. She was barely able to focus now and if they headed back in that direction she didn't know how long it would take her to settle back down again.
Jinx knew how that one felt. Not eating for days because you forget, or you can't keep anything down no matter how hard you tried. When Jinx went three days without eating, she was too busy hunting down Gin to think of taking care of herself. Whenever she thought of food, she felt as if she were going to throw up. When Shunsui brought her home, Jushirou had worked hard to fix her something to eat and she could barely take a few sips before needing to vomit. Luckily in the morning, her appetite had returned and she began the gradual weight gain that had made her break 100 pounds. Admittedly, she was a bit angry looking at the group of fat cells that had taken root in her stomach, but Jushirou told her she looked healthy. Although she pulled off the Holocaust survivor well, she did not look very attractive. And now she was a bit excited every time she passed a mirror and saw the curves of her own ass.
"You need to eat, Yuff. And Jushirou will gladly stuff you as full of food as he can. God, he cooks better than anyone I've ever known, the lizard man included. Caiman would be put to shame by Jushirou's cooking." Yes, getting off the bad subject was good. That statement was blunt and obvious, but needed to calm Jinx's mind. So talking about the people she cared about, who were still alive, who were in the next room over, was a good thing. And with the suggestion of changing into something else, actually doing something to take Yuffie's mind off Cloud.
Standing from the couch, Jinx tried her best to smile. "The migration is nice. I get good food and interesting culture out of it. And I finally got used to the whole taking off your shoes at the door thing." Stretching a little, trying not to look Yuffie directly in the eyes, she motioned toward the doorway. Oh yeah, she could see right through her, see the pain, but right now she could not deal with it. Maybe later, maybe when things had calmed down and Yuffie had eaten, things would be better. "All right, Yuff. Want to help me haul everything upstairs to ShuShu's room? I think I'd like to change into something that doesn't have bloodstains on it..."
And as her words drifted away, she heard Yuffie's pestering and her body froze for a moment. Looking back to her friend, the assassin frowned and narrowed her eyes, putting her hands on her hips. When you ate food, you gained hips. Who knew? "Well, what were you expecting? Did you think I was going to end up with a scrawny punk kid like Tommy?" Thinking about Tommy, her only living ex, she snickered a little. And then she was back on track. "Yuff, he's the nicest, most handsome guy I've ever met in my life, he smells fucking awesome, and god... the things that man can do with his hips..." For a moment she drifted off, grinning to herself, completely forgetting the situation and even blushing a bit.
When she snapped back into reality, she tried to frown at Yuffie through her bright grin. "What, do you have a problem with him? I don't see anything wrong with him in the least."
"Well if it tastes anything like it smells I will probably just have to make it a routine to break in for leftovers." She wasn't the type to stop eating when she was unhappy normally. There was a bit of a question of what she would put up with, but she tended to keep food in mind. This had been more of a not having gotten around to food before everything...then sleeping and freaking out had taken importance over food. And...well who knew if she was serious about jacking leftovers? It was nowhere near the strangest thing she'd done.
"Imagine having to do the shoe thing as a kid and trying to explain it to other kids. It was not alway fun." Yuffie pointed out as she followed jinx to her stuff. She hoped she had gotten everything, in her daze she hadn't really been thinking.
She picked up a duffel bag and threw it over her shoulder, but when she looked at Jinx she had to restrain a laugh. She looked like a little kid who was being told their puppy wasn't as cool as the purebred down the street. Speaking of puppies, she should get back in contact with that guy about the lab puppies. She could use something like a puppy to take her mind off things.
"I haven't really gotten a chance to get an opinion yet J. He seems cool though. Just...um...I figured your type would be a little different." Yuffie shifted the bag a bit. "And let face it...I didn't think the whole Tommy thing was a good idea. So this is a major improvement."
As Yuffie pulled off her boots and went to stand behind Jinx. She thought she had gotten off fairly easy. Jinx was probably not going to ask and she wouldn't have to talk and-
That hope was dashed to pieces as Jinx's arms were thrown around her. She stood still as her friend asked what was wrong and how she could help and all Yuffie could do was stare at the wall opposite and try to come up with a reasoning, something to say so she didn't have to say the words to anyone else, didn't have to admit...
She would not let this hurt her she would not let this hurt she wouldn't would not wouldn't would not she couldn't. If he was going to....he had...God damn it..He had promised he would stay and she like an idiot, had believed him.
Yuffie finally hugged Jinx back, but it was probably closer to clinging. Her eyes squeezed shut and her whole being trying not to break down right there in the doorway of some guy of Jinx was in love with that she had never even met. Fuck.
"I...God. Shit. Jinx I dunno what to do." Yuffie barely got the words out, they sounded so wrong coming from her, her voice harsh and rough and not her at all.
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Whether she liked it or not, Yuffie was going to sit down on the couch. With just a tinge of strength that may have been very odd for her size, Jinx made her friend sit down, and she came to rest beside her, never letting go of her hand. What the Hell had happened to this girl? She had never been like this before. The roles had most certainly switched. Yuffie was always the one looking on the bright side, the happy one even when things were going wrong. And Jinx was the one looking on the world with a dim light, not trusting a soul and playing dead every day. And now the two girls were sitting there, showing that Jinx was not the only one truly broken.
Before she continued to interrogate, Jinx looked her friend up and down. Why did all these signs seem familiar? And that was when it hit the assassin, and it hit her hard. Her eyes widening even more, if they were not already catlike enough, she clasped a hand over her mouth. This was what Jinx had felt like when she... when she had lost Gin.
Slowly removing her hand from her mouth, her look softened a lot, her mouth still a bit agape. And maybe all too quickly, she pulled her best friend into her arms once more. "Oh god, Yuff... no... what the hell happened? Tell me Cloud is just being an ass hole again. Please... just... oh god..." And for the second time in her life (the first being in Shunsui's arms,) Jinx was at a loss for words.
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She let her eyes drop to the floor as Jinx began to ask her about things. Didn't she ever learn that silence meant shut up? Now that she had gotten a second to focus, She didn't want to talk. Talking meant admitting and admitting meant letting go and there was no fucking way she was letting him go after everything they had been through. Cause that would mean the last time they saw each other was over a toaster and the last time they talked she screamed she hated him. He was...God there really was no other word then Nakama. Family. Comrade....translation got sketchy. Translations were always a little sketchy, it had been years since she had really worked with other languages outside of her head so her sentence structure was a little fucked she was sure. She-Her brain blanked as Jinx hugged her again and held her tight.
Yuffie sort of came back to her head a little since her rabbling thought train had been disrupted and realized that she was shaking, once again she was shaking and it was hard to breathe. All it took was Jinx asking again for her to break.
"He...he promised he wasn't going anywhere." She said into Jinx's shoulder. "Fucking bastard promised."
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This was another reason why Jinx was a bad person. While her friend was so desperate, almost in tears, the assassin was analyzing and categorizing her. Shaking those thoughts out of her head, she focused on the words Yuffie was saying, how hurt she was by all of this. Yet... what was all of this? Shaking her head, biting her lip, she continued to rub her best friend's back. There was a number of things that could have happened, and they all involved Cloud. But she was not going to jump to any conclusions... even though he was more than likely dead.
Living in this city, even being an incredible thief, she had still not figured out the natural order of things. When people did stupid things, they almost always paid for it. Jinx was an exception, because she knew how to back it up, she knew how not to get killed. When Gin left, she did something incredibly stupid and got slashed for it. Luckily, Shunsui was there to set her straight. It looked like the same thing did not happen for Cloud. He had done something stupid, he could not back it up... and this was what happened.
What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to do aside from hold her best friend and let her speak. Threats did not work for the dead, and that seemed to be one of the only things Jinx knew how to do. Actually, she knew how to do a lot of things, just human emotions were a whole other world for here that she was just now discovering. Things were happening too quickly. Passion, love, sympathy, kindness and many other things that she had not felt since the last time she saw N.A.O.E. Taking another deep breath, she opened her eyes and looked quickly around the living room, hoping Shunsui would randomly appear next to them to offer advice, to make this all better. Because with Jinx in charge, this was not going to get better.
Thinking more, she started to go off what Shunsui would say, the things he had told Jinx to make her feel better. "It's going to be okay." That was a good start. "You're safe here. I'm your friend. You can talk to me about this." And forcing these last few phrases out of her mouth, she awkwardly told her, "I'm here for you, and I care for you. I'm not going anywhere. Please, talk to me, Yuff."
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In a detached part of her mind, Yuffie realized how hard this must be for Jinx. For god sake the girl was so easily confused be emotions as far away as on the television. Let alone half in her lap and curled up like a kid with a bad dream. Which felt like it was not far from the truth. Which was probably the only reason she didn't start screaming at her for promising things she couldn't damn it because if Cloud went away that meant anyone could go away. And that was the scariest fucking thing in the world.
"Remember when..."Yuffie heard herself speaking before she really knew she was doing it. "Remember how I told you...about that friend?"
what was she doing she couldn't say a word not a word stupid idiot why was she saying anything?
"And remember how I said how freaky they were about past stuff and how the-they would rewrite conversations and stuff like that?"
shutupshutthefuckupstupidstupidstupid.
"That...that was Cloud."
nonononohe'llhateyouforsayinganythinguntilhisbrainrewritesit...can'trewriteit."
"And...um..." Her words trailed off as she tried to find a way to make it stop hurting long enough to tell anything.
Yuffie felt like her throat was closing up as she tried to talk, her face still buried in Jinx's shoulder. She was sure she had to be hurting Jinx. Probably was from how hard she was clinging on.
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At least with her forced words, she managed to get Yuffie to talk a bit about what happened. It was more like a prelude into something much bigger, but at least it was a start. Having Yuffie buried in her shoulder was a very odd feeling, and the squeezing of her body, the clinging, obstructed her breathing quite uncomfortably. She could deal for the time being. It was no big deal. Who needed air to survive anyway?
So, Cloud was the crazy one. Pot calling the kettle black. Jinx was actually jealous of that trait Cloud had. To be able to rewrite the past... that was something that looked beautiful. If there was anything to make Jinx forget, anything to make her not remember a single bad thing about her past, she would take it. She would swallow a handful of pills, inject herself, hurt herself in any way to, well, forget the pain. To suppress the nightmares. Shunsui probably worried about her some nights as she thrashed in bed, having nightmares, whining and sweating, remembering the shock therapy, the surgeries without anesthetic, the things that had made her a monster. She was never meant to be able to function in the real world. Once they pushed her to her limits, once they finally broke their doll beyond repair, Jinx was supposed to be terminated. That plan never went through, and at times she wished it had.
Kissing the top of Yuffie's head, she cooed a "Shhh..." Maybe this was that small bit of maternal instinct she had left in her. It was hard to feel motherly when Jinx knew she would never be one. Her uterus was just a mangled organ inside of her body, not able to function. Motherly feelings never came to her, and right now she was forcing them. "I know... I know..." she whispered, taking on full assumption that Cloud was deceased.
"I'm not going anywhere, Yuffie," she told her softly, whispering so the men could have no chance of hearing. "The only person who could take me out has been dead for many years. You can't get rid of me that easily."
Worriedly, her eyes scanned the surrounding room again, looking worried and almost frightened. She had no idea what to do. Where was the man who seemed to know everything about emotions? Were there words to summon Shunsui? Actually... there probably were, but calling out things about nudity or alcohol in this situation may have not been the best things. Begging for help, she searched the room once more, hoping as much as she could that he would see this and help.
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When he came in, he found things to be an entirely different matter.
"Hello there" He said, but it was really more of a question directed at Jinx. What was going on?
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She finally just gave up. Cause she breakable too.
"He found out who did all-all of that shit to his parents." She continued only realizing that she was crying again when she felt the wet on her cheeks. "He found out and he took them out."
Here came the part she didn't want to say, it was as painful as if she had stabbed herself in the chest.
"He figured to get them, it didn't matter...what happened to him. So he said he was going, told me he loved me, then the asshole blew himself up!" She said, her voice was shaky and weirdly quiet for the anger behind them. Once the words were out it was like a dam breaking and she just clung to Jinx and tried to keep herself from screaming as she rambled. "Who fucking does that? After everything he just...Damn it!"
She was so out of it she didn't even hear the man enter until he spoke. Fuck. FUCK. Yuffie sat back just enough to get her hand to her face to wipe away the mess of tears. She was allowed to be a mess in front of Jinx. Hell, she would let herself be a mess in front of quite a few people more then she would honestly give the time of day. But someone she had never met was not one of them.
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But thinking back to losing Gin, comparing it to this situation, she felt like absolute shit and hugged Yuffie back tighter, yet not half as tight as she was being clung to. Thinking of the right words to say, or at least hoping they would come with all her might, she was interrupted when movement caught her eye. Thank fucking god.
Looking at Shunsui desperately, she mouthed the word Help. Jinx cared for Yuffie, maybe even loved her as a best friend should, but right now she was white as a ghost and more than just a little freaked out. And Shunsui's help was alerting Yuffie of his presence. As the girl pulled away, Jinx quickly stood up, standing in front of Yuffie. Part of it was to hide the thief's emotions, because crying in front of someone she did not know in a strange house must have been a terrible feeling. The other half was to try and get away before Jinx had to continue playing emotional and acting her age.
Catlike eyes huge, her breathing rate a bit faster than normal, she came to Shunsui and gave him a greeting peck on the cheek. It was also so she could whisper into his ear surprisingly covertly, "Her friend's gone." Those three words were silent to anyone but Shunsui, and thank god. Telling Yuffie that Cloud was actually dead and not coming back could quite possibly send her into shock.
Pulling away from Shunsui, she turned around and gave an incredibly awkward smile. "Yuff, this is Shunsui, the man I've told you about. Shushu, this is my best friend Yuffie. Isn't she just the cutest?" And nervously laughing, looking as if she was completely losing her marbles, she almost shouted, "Hey? Who wants to get wasted?" Jinx was almost freaking out as badly as Yuffie, the overload of emotions becoming too much for her. It showed a little too obviously when the unlit bulb in a nearby lamp shattered with a flash of pink light. It was loud and a bit violent for spontaneous combustion through telekinesis, but Jinx seemed to not notice.
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"It's very nice to meet you, Yuffie" Shunsui said. As the lightbulb suddenly popped, he jumped a little, his hand almost going to his hip were he'd worn his gun for years. "Ah- Sorry about that. Must have been a surge in the power lines. May I get you anything?" Shunsui asked.
He wasn't quite sure what to do with two upset women, except do the best he could. He also wondered a way to warn Jushirou, it was likely he'd come out to see what broke.
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She sat through Jinx's running about with her hands over her face, trying to calm back down. For fuck sake she was not a little kid. She could work with this, it was just another job. Just something else she had to do.
Finally feeling back in some semblance of control, Yuffie looked over to see who this person Jinx was enamored with was. And blinked a few times. Wow. Not what she had expected. He seemed nice and all so far but...really....not what she had expected. Jinx...Always struck her as having interesting taste though.
"Getting wasted sounds great." She said still a little shaky but a lot less so then before. "Nice to meet ya too. And I know about strange power surges. I have had some interesting electrical shit in my apartment." Talking about random things made her able to focus on something. That made things easier.
"I brought stuff so J wouldn't have to steal cloths anymore." Yuffie faked a smile and hoped to anything that would listen that it was convincing.
She was not willing to subject herself to being that big of a mess for longer then was absolutely necessary. Especially in front of people who she didn't know.
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A surge in the power lines. There were many of those surges when Jinx was around. The things she had accidentally broken in Shunsui's bedroom when she lost control. Lately, she had been trying to control her anger, but the occasional light bulb fell under her wrath. If she let her temper too out of control, it would become noticeable. They would begin to connect the flashes of pink with her emotions as they spiked. And one of the worst things would be if her eyes began to glow bright pink. That would bring on too many questions that would not be easily answered. At times she wished the two men were as dense as Tommy was, then she could get away with murder. Speaking of which, that message was still on her cell phone.
Now that she had been silent for a while, zoning out and staring at the lamp, she felt calmer. Turning back to the conversation, she looked up to Shunsui and saw the tinge of discomfort in his expression. Giving him a wink, she put her hand on his chest, glad of his politeness. Silently she mouthed "Thank you". Right now she began to block out the emotions Yuffie had been sending, trying to pretend nothing was wrong. She was not at all empathetical and she was not soon going to start, so forgetting what had been there just a moment ago was easy. That was also how her moods worked, constantly fluctuating.
Turning back to Yuffie, hoping she had gotten ahold of herself, she gave a weak smile. "Thanks for coming, and bringing my shit." And now, was it time to make an escape? What was the worse decision to make? She could ask Shunsui to go grab one of the many bottles of alcohol from the kitchen... yet that would mean Yuffie may begin to break again. But if Jinx went and grabbed it, she would probably end up curled between Jushirou's feet as he cooked, on the floor with no plans of returning to the scene until dinner was served. ...and at that moment, Jinx made a grave decision.
After kissing Shunsui on the lips, holding there for longer than what was probably socially acceptable, a bit more sensual than intended as well, she gave him an apologetic smile. "How about you go grab us some beer or something and another light bulb, eh? Please, ShuShu." She was giving him an escape. Though her eyes were trying to scream for him not to leave her, the grin across her lips begged to differ. And forcing herself, she sat back down on the couch with Yuffie, except a couch cushion away. The assassin was trying to be compassionate, she really was, it just was not working for her. "All right, Yuff. We're going to get really drunk, listen to a lot of Madonna, eat awesome Japanese food and talk about stupid shit." And then her mind, trying to be anywhere but in this situation, came to a conclusion. "Wow... I'm the only Italian in the house. Sometimes I get the feeling that Japan is migrating..."
Jinx really hoped this decision was the right one.
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It was a whole hell of a lot easier to focus on Jinx or on the embarrassment of the situation instead of the fact that it felt like she had a hole in her chest. What the hell was she going to do. What the hell was she going to do? If this kind of mess kept up then there could be all sorts of problems. And it would do her no good to be distracted in any case. Watch her try to go on a job like this and get herself shot...
"Getting waisted sounds amazing, does it have to only be Madonna and I am so hungry you would not believe it. It smells great and I don't think I've eaten since...sometime yesterday..." Yuffie looked up and finally actually looked at her friend.
"And it's safe to say you like the migration from who you surround yourself with. Also..." She looked at Jinx and was sure that had been the same thing she had last seen her in. "Do you want to get changed now?"
She was also trying to avoid thinking of anything even remotely related to her current depression so she immediately did what she did best, well...besides thieving...and code breaking...and the other things she was best at,Pestering.
"And another thought, that's ShuShu? I mean...seems nice and all but that's him?"
Yuffie was sure her act was nowhere near convincing but she hoped J would not call her on it. She was barely able to focus now and if they headed back in that direction she didn't know how long it would take her to settle back down again.
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"You need to eat, Yuff. And Jushirou will gladly stuff you as full of food as he can. God, he cooks better than anyone I've ever known, the lizard man included. Caiman would be put to shame by Jushirou's cooking." Yes, getting off the bad subject was good. That statement was blunt and obvious, but needed to calm Jinx's mind. So talking about the people she cared about, who were still alive, who were in the next room over, was a good thing. And with the suggestion of changing into something else, actually doing something to take Yuffie's mind off Cloud.
Standing from the couch, Jinx tried her best to smile. "The migration is nice. I get good food and interesting culture out of it. And I finally got used to the whole taking off your shoes at the door thing." Stretching a little, trying not to look Yuffie directly in the eyes, she motioned toward the doorway. Oh yeah, she could see right through her, see the pain, but right now she could not deal with it. Maybe later, maybe when things had calmed down and Yuffie had eaten, things would be better. "All right, Yuff. Want to help me haul everything upstairs to ShuShu's room? I think I'd like to change into something that doesn't have bloodstains on it..."
And as her words drifted away, she heard Yuffie's pestering and her body froze for a moment. Looking back to her friend, the assassin frowned and narrowed her eyes, putting her hands on her hips. When you ate food, you gained hips. Who knew? "Well, what were you expecting? Did you think I was going to end up with a scrawny punk kid like Tommy?" Thinking about Tommy, her only living ex, she snickered a little. And then she was back on track. "Yuff, he's the nicest, most handsome guy I've ever met in my life, he smells fucking awesome, and god... the things that man can do with his hips..." For a moment she drifted off, grinning to herself, completely forgetting the situation and even blushing a bit.
When she snapped back into reality, she tried to frown at Yuffie through her bright grin. "What, do you have a problem with him? I don't see anything wrong with him in the least."
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"Imagine having to do the shoe thing as a kid and trying to explain it to other kids. It was not alway fun." Yuffie pointed out as she followed jinx to her stuff. She hoped she had gotten everything, in her daze she hadn't really been thinking.
She picked up a duffel bag and threw it over her shoulder, but when she looked at Jinx she had to restrain a laugh. She looked like a little kid who was being told their puppy wasn't as cool as the purebred down the street. Speaking of puppies, she should get back in contact with that guy about the lab puppies. She could use something like a puppy to take her mind off things.
"I haven't really gotten a chance to get an opinion yet J. He seems cool though. Just...um...I figured your type would be a little different." Yuffie shifted the bag a bit. "And let face it...I didn't think the whole Tommy thing was a good idea. So this is a major improvement."
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