[filtered to those who know Jinx is alive]
Too much has been going on lately. Too many thoughts, too many events, too many times that I've tried to help and failed everyone miserably because I'm too dumb for tactics. I'm fucking sick of the fact that every time I try anything for good, I just hurt the people around me. So go right ahead. Hate me. Please! Things were a lot easier when I did what I was told and I was always told to do the things I was good at. I'm good with pain, death, horror... not this. I was not meant to feel this. I was not meant to do this. BUT I AM DOING IT ANYWAY! And that's what everyone FAILS TO UNDERSTAND! I've never dealt with this level of emotion before. I have NEVER helped people instead of hurt them. I have NEVER been into this greater good shit! Look at my files, because I'm sure all you fuckers have them. I was trained to kill, not to be a human. This shit is all PRETTY DAMN NEW TO ME! But I'm trying. So give me a fucking break. It's hard enough to be me without all you assholes breathing down the back of my neck and critiquing every act of humanity I blindly attempt. If you haven't noticed, I'm not very human. I'm bad luck, good was never an option for me. But I'm trying as hard as I fucking can right now for you sons of bitches. I want to do good, but when every last one of you already hates me its kinda hard.