01
I have strategically placed pockets for a reason, dirty bastards.
That's the last time someone tries to shove their hand down the back of my pants in a valiant attempt to steal my wallet. I'm only sorry I couldn't give them a more severe injury in return for their efforts. Maybe I should start wearing metal knuckle rings?
It just occurred to me. Is it better to mug someone without the victim noticing, so afterward they can go home to their cozy, adoring, by-the-book family and flip the fuck out when all their hard-earned money's been swiped right from under their nose? Or corner them in a dark, dank alley with a few thug buddies and beat them up just to smear it in their face, that way all their dignity can be oh-so ruthlessly crushed? Huh.
We've got lots of both, seems like. To balance each other out. I bet there's a whole hierarchy of thievehood here.
Matt. Stop leaving stuff between the couch seats.
That's the last time someone tries to shove their hand down the back of my pants in a valiant attempt to steal my wallet. I'm only sorry I couldn't give them a more severe injury in return for their efforts. Maybe I should start wearing metal knuckle rings?
It just occurred to me. Is it better to mug someone without the victim noticing, so afterward they can go home to their cozy, adoring, by-the-book family and flip the fuck out when all their hard-earned money's been swiped right from under their nose? Or corner them in a dark, dank alley with a few thug buddies and beat them up just to smear it in their face, that way all their dignity can be oh-so ruthlessly crushed? Huh.
We've got lots of both, seems like. To balance each other out. I bet there's a whole hierarchy of thievehood here.
Matt. Stop leaving stuff between the couch seats.