(no subject)
Ex Machina.
Life, a slow dance through the day. A long sigh as I sit in the recliner and watch time drip off the walls and slough across the carpet, under my heels, across the threshhold and lost in the world outside.
The feeling of limbo, of pause, soaks almost ever day. Work ends and I can't get the motivation to study or job hunt because my future is uncertain - I might get into medical school, I probably won't - and having to wait for decisions to be made for me by a faceless admissions committee is driving me up the wall. It could be a lot worse, I know. I could be in many worse situations with basic necessities being the least of my worries - that doesn't mollify the frustration that comes with waiting almost ten months for an acceptance or rejection. My problem has been that the prospect of less security - no knowledge of my future or where I'll be ten years from now - has got me in such knots that my ambition has shrunk to the point of paralyisis. I think the cure for this is to do some decidedly uncharacteristic things and force myself into a state where I need to work ridiculous hours and, above all else, act.
Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day.
Life, a slow dance through the day. A long sigh as I sit in the recliner and watch time drip off the walls and slough across the carpet, under my heels, across the threshhold and lost in the world outside.
The feeling of limbo, of pause, soaks almost ever day. Work ends and I can't get the motivation to study or job hunt because my future is uncertain - I might get into medical school, I probably won't - and having to wait for decisions to be made for me by a faceless admissions committee is driving me up the wall. It could be a lot worse, I know. I could be in many worse situations with basic necessities being the least of my worries - that doesn't mollify the frustration that comes with waiting almost ten months for an acceptance or rejection. My problem has been that the prospect of less security - no knowledge of my future or where I'll be ten years from now - has got me in such knots that my ambition has shrunk to the point of paralyisis. I think the cure for this is to do some decidedly uncharacteristic things and force myself into a state where I need to work ridiculous hours and, above all else, act.
Tomorrow is going to be an interesting day.