The Interview
Author: onnaonah
Title: The Interview
Rating: PG-13
Other pairings involved: Chanyeol/Chen, D.O/Chen
Length: 3091 words
Summary: Kyungsoo’s job interview is a mental swamp full of land mines and Manager Park ensures that he steps on ‘em all.
Warnings: Visually explicit sexual references, language. Chock full of bad innuendo.
Notes: Prompternim, I apologize that I had to hike up the rating because I find it hard to approach Soo’s train of thought without being nasty about it. I have tried my best and will strive to improve myself in the future. All characterizations and establishment names in this story are fictional.
Kyungsoo swears that he is going to have a great day. He has dressed himself well enough in black slacks, a white dress shirt, and a modestly patterned tie: clean-looking enough to overdress and impress at his job interview at the convenience store two blocks from his studio. His tie knots used to be as large as fists stuck onto the front of his neck, but growing hulking shoulders over the past six months has shrunk his tie knot-to-shoulder ratio in nearly half. Kyungsoo applies some cologne, takes his resume file in tow, and leaves his home in the shiniest of leather shoes, ready to take on the interview like a botherfather.
Kyungsoo walks to the convenience store, taking a nervous breath upon seeing the ‘HELP WANTED’ sign still resting on its window.
“Hello,” Kyungsoo greeted the cashier. “I'm here for a job interview with Manager Park,” he says, worried that he arrived at the wrong time or dropped the wrong name or gave out the wrong vibe, but the cashier’s eyes lit up and he gave the biggest smile possible. Kyungsoo is hesitant.
“Of course!” cashier says. Roughly the same height, same age, with this really unique yappy face and some wrinkles here and there. Kim Jongdae is the name on the tag. “Let me call him for you and I’ll be right back.”
So Kyungsoo is left alone to analyze cigarette brand packagings behind the counter, feeling all insecure and out of place until Jongdae comes out with this tall ass hot guy in a suit and red tie, and that man has got to be a GQ cover page on stilts, because his body is applicable to the golden ratio and by god does his face beat the beauty of the Mona Lisa. As if he hears Kyungsoo’s rambling train of thought, Hot Man dares to laugh upon finding Kyungsoo's astonished face.
"What's wrong?" Jongdae asks in formal Korean to Hot Man. "You're laughing."
"Nothing," Hot Man answers in casual lingo as he walks towards Jongdae’s initial spot behind the counter. He stifles a smile and clears his throat upon reaching Kyungsoo. Hot Man gives a professional smile and offers his hand. "Welcome."
Kyungsoo looks at the gigantic hand in front of him because they’re so nice and stubby and long and veiny and he totally hopes that Hot Man won't notice because his eyes trail to the nametag that says Manager, subtitle Park Chanyeol. Well, shoot. Kyungsoo scrambles to reach the hand and shake it firmly and politely and enthusiastically like he read on the job interview how-to on About.kr. This is the time to redeem his image and get that paper, because Kyungsoo definitely looked like he has just drooled buckets onto the floor, and he hopes that Jongdae guy makes a pleasant person to be around, if he’s gonna be there to be around. "Hello, my name is Do Kyungsoo. I plead your help and support," he blurts. On an afterthought, the sentence sounded too much like a boyband's pre-made response on a TV interview, and he beats himself up again.
The reply that follows is definitely not expected, because Kyungsoo almost fell on his knees upon hearing a rumbling, husky, "Nice to meet you. I am Park Chanyeol. Please follow me," out of Hot Man Manager Park's hot lips. Hot Man Manager Park leads him past the row of beverage refrigerators to the dinky back of the store, and Kyungsoo had to whip his head away upon looking down, because his sight landed on the pocket buttons resting on the swell of Manager Park’s plush posterior. Kyungsoo hears Manager Park snort to himself.
"Is something of the matter?" Kyungsoo asks in formal Korean to Manager Park.
Manager Park turns his head to see Kyungsoo and points to the packed baked snacks section on their left. “Do you like cream buns? I like milk and mocha.”
“Ah.” Kyungsoo flinches, frantically searching for an accurate response to his interviewer’s attempt at small talk. “Yes. I like banana in my steamed buns,” and he watches as Manager Park’s eyes grow wider than they already are. “I mean-I-I apologize. I mean. Uh. The banana cream in the banana-flavored steamed buns. I like banana-flavored buns. I also like cream-flavored buns. I apologize.”
“You have great taste for bananas,” Manager Park praises as they reach the door that says, ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY.’
“I-thank you,” Kyungsoo mumbles and looks away, because he wonders if Manager Park is just naturally good at small talk or if it was sarcastic or if he’s just magically twice as embarrassing in such a short amount of time.
Manager Park opens the door for the two of them. The back office is cramped, with one armchair and one two-seater couch to seat the occasional complainer, as well as a corner desk full of scattered paper where Manager Park likely sits. Manager Park walks to sit behind the desk and Kyungsoo waits until Manager Park allows him to sit across him.
“Please sit,” Manager Park blesses.
“Thank you,” Kyungsoo says. He sits down.
“Your file, please.”
“Yes,” Kyungsoo replies. He hands Manager Park his file and watches hesitantly as Manager Park leafs through the one-page resume. He wonders if his attached picture on the upper left-hand corner is too ugly and outdated.
“When was this picture taken?” Manager Park inquires, then glances at Kyungsoo before looking back. “You look younger.”
“In college, Sir. I apologize if I looked different after having gained weight.”
Manager Park waves it off. “You’re fine. I know you put on good weight. You should update your picture because you look better in-person today than you do here.”
“Ah,” Kyungsoo smiles coyly, flustered beyond repair. “Thank you.”
“So,” Manager Park puts away some of his files to put his arms on the table. “Shall we start?” He asks, eyes shooting point-blank at Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo only waits. “Alright. Let’s begin. Tell me about yourself.”
“My name is Do Kyungsoo. I have recently graduated from Kyungsang University, majoring in accounting. My father is a geology teacher in a high school in Gyeonggi, while my mom maintains a hair salon at the front of our house. I am an A-type, which makes me a disciplined high-achiever. Wherever I go, I always strive to give as much contribution as I possibly can.” Kyungsoo’s eyes move down to the soft lines of Manager Park’s adam’s apple, and he looks away, helplessly gulping. It’s a job interview and Kyungsoo can't stop this incessant messing in his mind. His eyes pop open upon the possibility of Manager Park actually hearing and seeing his nasty, nasty thoughts. He slowly returns his gaze towards Manager Park in caution and mortification.
“I’ll be back,” Manager Park excuses himself out of the room. He returns with the smallest available coffee cup and a bottle of water. He places the cup in front of Kyungsoo, cracks the bottle lid open, and pours water up to the brim of the coffee cup. “You look thirsty,” Manager Park rasps in his deep hot voice out of his deep hot mouth, pressingly woobinesque in passive-aggressive behavior. Kyungsoo’s stomach sinks, oh so heavily. He really, really hopes that this glass of water has nothing to do with his thinking about Manager Park in all those different ways. The manheels of Manager Park’s leather shoes click in intimidation as he steps slowly back towards his seat. He reopens the half-empty water bottle and drinks out of it. “I hope you don’t mind,” Manager Park says.
Kyungsoo lifts the coffee cup carefully, watches Manager Park’s prying eyes as he sips out of courtesy just enough to keep the water from spilling.
“Should we continue?” Manager Park offers. He smiles, crosses his legs, and leans back. If Kyungsoo doesn’t call this as being on edge, he doesn’t know what is. He really wants more of that water but he doesn’t want Manager Park to take it the wrong way. Besides, it’s impolite to drink without permission in situations like this. Manager Park clears his throat, and Kyungsoo returns his attention to him. “So, Mister Do Kyungsoo, how did you hear about this position? Have you always been interested in working with us at Seeyou Mart?”
Kyungsoo watches the way Manager Park moves his lips, and he needs to stop himself from thinking that, because all he wants is for Manager Park to accept him and let him have this job. He clears his throat. “I truly like Seeyou Mart. This Seeyou Mart, as well as other branches, has helped me go through difficult times, be it exam weeks, bad breakups, or hungry midnights. I would like to continue the legacy of friendliness and convenience that I experienced as a Seeyou customer.” It’s really because he needs the money, and now it’s also because he knows that GQ Cover on Stilts will be his boss at this branch. “I always pass by this convenience store. I saw the sign on the window walking home and decided to apply.”
“Is that so? Is there anything special, anything unique, that makes me want to hire you?”
Kyungsoo would love to say that these luscious lips will especially make Manager Park want to hire him, but he opts for a more diplomatic answer because he needs to shut his mind up. “I,” he starts shakily. Hopefully Manager Park will not want to kick his butt somewhere in the future. “I am pleasant with my words and very careful in managing money and inventory. My smile is known to make people happy, and I adapt quickly. I am also physically strong, in case I am needed for stock loading. I live nearby and therefore can be called to serve you-” shoot, wrong wording, “w-whenever required.”
“Always ready. Perfect.” Manager Park smiles. “Tell me your strengths and weaknesses. How do you use these qualities to your advantage?”
“I am good at following directions,” Kyungsoo says. “I am detailed, neat, good at many things, and am focused on the task at hand. I believe that being detailed and neat helps with keeping the store, and having great dexterity will help the store upon breakdowns and unexpected situations.” Kyungsoo is experiencing involuntary swelling and extreme discomfort in his dong. He presses down on it in vain hopes of having it hide and go away, and he really hopes that no one notices, especially not his interviewer. “My focus will help me give the best service to each customer. As for my weaknesses, I have a hard time hiding my emotions, lose composure when nervous, and although only occasionally, can become emotionally volatile. Despite that, I am patient with others and easily cooperate. I take my weaknesses as advantages because these qualities often come with being assertive, and I believe that my assertiveness more often than not helps me, and therefore Seeyou Mart by extension, to get what I want.”
“Alright. Volatile.” Manager Park chuckles. Maybe Kyungsoo should have not said it. Manager Park finishes the bottle of water he poured for Kyungsoo earlier, making sure to give Kyungsoo a gulp show out of it. He slams the empty bottle on the table, sighs in refreshment, and puts the lid next to the bottle. “Tell me, Mister Do Kyungsoo, since you said that you lose composure easily when you’re nervous,” Manager Park smirked. “How well do you handle pressure?”
“I enjoy being worked under… f…fast. Settings.” Kyungsoo cringes. Manager Park is giving him intensely raised eyebrows. “And high pressure. When things are going especially hard,” Kyungsoo gulps, “it motivates me to endure,” Kyungsoo clears his throat, “more, and achieve more, despite the given restraints.”
The eyebrow Manager Park gave is giving Kyungsoo’s stomach a curl, because, what if those eyebrows contort in p-pleasur-
“There you go, with all your freudian slips. That was you under pressure.” Manager Park says, and oh how Kyungsoo wants to melt into his seat out of shame. “Just kidding. I have one last question to help determine if you are the best candidate.” Manager Park pops his knuckles and his neck, mentally pushing Kyungsoo one step further into the corner. “What motivates you? What gets you up in the morning?”
Kyungsoo would like to say that, damn, Manager Park will definitely get him and his little buddy up in the morning, but he opted for a more diplomatic answer. “I understand that these answers may sound humble, but the thought of making my parents proud and making others smile from the things I do motivates me. It gets me through the day.” Kyungsoo’s eyes wander to the red tie hanging from under Manager Park’s collar, and maybe, just maybe, he imagines sitting in Manager Park’s lap and pulling that tie until Manager Park is a breath’s away from his face. Take off that tie and cover his eyes with it. Manager Park’s adam’s apple bob in a visible gulp, and Kyungsoo moves his eyes to Manager Park’s astounded face. They, inadvertently, lock eyes.
A helpless Manager Park breaks eye contact fifteen seconds later. He sinks back into his seat, crossing his legs and biting his lips and running his fingers through his hair out of sheer distress. He pokes a tongue out his cheek and closes his eyes. Manager Park sighs, then he looks at Kyungsoo in the eye. “I believe that is the end of our interview,” Manager Park explains in that voice, a notch hotter from the anger. “Any questions you would like to ask?”
Kyungsoo can more than sense the weight in the air and it makes him want to get the heck out of here. He is in deep doodoo. It probably would be best if he leaves as soon as possible. “Um, no, Sir.”
“Any questions you think I forgot to ask?”
“No, Sir.”
Kyungsoo looks away. He’s probably not gonna get the job. He’s quite sure of it now.
He rises from his seat and Kyungsoo follows the gesture.
“Thank you, Mister Do Kyungsoo. If accepted, you are expected to work about thirty hours a week and show up on short notice. All store clerks are paid according to the Seoul Metropolitan Area Minimum Wage Requirements unless noted otherwise, and pay is given every other week. If accepted, you are expected to be a team player, quick on your feet, and pleasant to customers at all times.” Manager Park walks around the desk in those clicking leather shoes and offers a handshake. “I will notify you of your results in a day or two.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Kyungsoo ends, left hand politely supporting his right elbow as he takes Manager Park’s handshake. Kyungsoo takes one step back. “I will show myself out.”
“Actually,” Manager Park interrupts. Kyungsoo turns back on his heels. Manager Park steps closer until they are only at arm’s length from each other.
Manager Park pulls his red necktie out of the slip of his suit and offers the bottom end to Kyungsoo. “Here. You said you wanted to pull my necktie?”
Kyungsoo is beyond mortified. He never said that out loud.
“I heard,” Manager Park replied. “I saw, too. All of this,” he taps his temples. “You should be a rated graphic novelist.”
Kyungsoo is so not gonna get this job. His eyes grew wider when he saw Manager Park smile upon that thought. He’s really hard too-shoot, no, he couldn’t say that-
“It’s okay,” Manager Park says.
Kyungsoo pleats himself into a right-angled bow. “I apologize. I truly, truly, deeply apologize,” he pleads. “I hope that you will forgive my inappropriate thoughts and pardon me for wasting your time throughout this interview. I plead that you excuse the imageries you have heard and witnessed. I truly, deeply apologize.”
Kyungsoo stares at the floor, still scared that Manager Park will never, ever, forgive him.
“There’s a nice café a few blocks down.” Manager Park says. Kyungsoo slowly lifts his head from the bow, out of curiosity. “Would you like to try to chat with me for, say, one hour? Without you assuming us in pseudoacrobatic positions with each other, that is.”
“I mean,” Kyungsoo chokes, battling the dicktwitch-inducing image of him pulling Manager Park’s hair while making out. Manager Park coughs loudly upon the thought broadcast. Kyungsoo embarrassedly shuts his eye to try and shush his mind. It is rude to decline an offer from his potential boss. “Of course.” He really, really needs to go home and bust that nut.
“Perfect,” Manager Park chimes. One side of his suit bottom is resting slanted, embarrassingly elevated on the pocket of his slacks. “I’ll let you off for the time being.”
“I will come back here in one hour,” Kyungsoo says. “Thank you very much.” Kyungsoo pardons himself and rushes his way to the door.
“Mister Do Kyungsoo,” Manager Park calls, just when his hand was turning the door handle.
Kyungsoo turns his head. He’s not thinking anything this time. What possibly could Manager Park be calling him for?
“Don’t forget to wash your hand after you,” Manager Park vertically shakes an empty fist in the air.
Kyungsoo dips his head in shame and rushes to leave the hell out of that room. A customer is finishing transaction when he walks toward Jongdae and the counter. Kyungsoo gets to Jongdae at the same time the customer leaves the store.
"Thank you for your help," Kyungsoo speaks to Jongdae, ready to take off out of this convenience store for good.
"How did it go?" Jongdae asks earnestly, all his attention given towards Kyungsoo.
"It went quite well," Kyungsoo replies, not quite knowing what to say.
"Distracting, isn't he?" Jongdae comments, then he clucks his tongue and shakes his head.
"H--how did you know? Do you also…"
"Nah. Just messing with you. I work with him here, of course I would know. As long as you don’t think bad about him, you’ll be fine. Now get lost, Kid. I'll probably have to get used to seeing you daily pretty darn soon."
Kyungsoo bows his goodbye to and runs for the door, lets it electronically ding to notify his absence. All he needs to do is get off, change clothes, and fulfill Manager Park’s invitation, and accept this job if he gets it, even if it spells mental suicide. Working under Hot Man GQ On Stilts Manager Park must be a bliss, but life is fair and all good things come with a price.
Kyungsoo needs to jack off. He rushes his way home.
Title: The Interview
Rating: PG-13
Other pairings involved: Chanyeol/Chen, D.O/Chen
Length: 3091 words
Summary: Kyungsoo’s job interview is a mental swamp full of land mines and Manager Park ensures that he steps on ‘em all.
Warnings: Visually explicit sexual references, language. Chock full of bad innuendo.
Notes: Prompternim, I apologize that I had to hike up the rating because I find it hard to approach Soo’s train of thought without being nasty about it. I have tried my best and will strive to improve myself in the future. All characterizations and establishment names in this story are fictional.
Kyungsoo swears that he is going to have a great day. He has dressed himself well enough in black slacks, a white dress shirt, and a modestly patterned tie: clean-looking enough to overdress and impress at his job interview at the convenience store two blocks from his studio. His tie knots used to be as large as fists stuck onto the front of his neck, but growing hulking shoulders over the past six months has shrunk his tie knot-to-shoulder ratio in nearly half. Kyungsoo applies some cologne, takes his resume file in tow, and leaves his home in the shiniest of leather shoes, ready to take on the interview like a botherfather.
Kyungsoo walks to the convenience store, taking a nervous breath upon seeing the ‘HELP WANTED’ sign still resting on its window.
“Hello,” Kyungsoo greeted the cashier. “I'm here for a job interview with Manager Park,” he says, worried that he arrived at the wrong time or dropped the wrong name or gave out the wrong vibe, but the cashier’s eyes lit up and he gave the biggest smile possible. Kyungsoo is hesitant.
“Of course!” cashier says. Roughly the same height, same age, with this really unique yappy face and some wrinkles here and there. Kim Jongdae is the name on the tag. “Let me call him for you and I’ll be right back.”
So Kyungsoo is left alone to analyze cigarette brand packagings behind the counter, feeling all insecure and out of place until Jongdae comes out with this tall ass hot guy in a suit and red tie, and that man has got to be a GQ cover page on stilts, because his body is applicable to the golden ratio and by god does his face beat the beauty of the Mona Lisa. As if he hears Kyungsoo’s rambling train of thought, Hot Man dares to laugh upon finding Kyungsoo's astonished face.
"What's wrong?" Jongdae asks in formal Korean to Hot Man. "You're laughing."
"Nothing," Hot Man answers in casual lingo as he walks towards Jongdae’s initial spot behind the counter. He stifles a smile and clears his throat upon reaching Kyungsoo. Hot Man gives a professional smile and offers his hand. "Welcome."
Kyungsoo looks at the gigantic hand in front of him because they’re so nice and stubby and long and veiny and he totally hopes that Hot Man won't notice because his eyes trail to the nametag that says Manager, subtitle Park Chanyeol. Well, shoot. Kyungsoo scrambles to reach the hand and shake it firmly and politely and enthusiastically like he read on the job interview how-to on About.kr. This is the time to redeem his image and get that paper, because Kyungsoo definitely looked like he has just drooled buckets onto the floor, and he hopes that Jongdae guy makes a pleasant person to be around, if he’s gonna be there to be around. "Hello, my name is Do Kyungsoo. I plead your help and support," he blurts. On an afterthought, the sentence sounded too much like a boyband's pre-made response on a TV interview, and he beats himself up again.
The reply that follows is definitely not expected, because Kyungsoo almost fell on his knees upon hearing a rumbling, husky, "Nice to meet you. I am Park Chanyeol. Please follow me," out of Hot Man Manager Park's hot lips. Hot Man Manager Park leads him past the row of beverage refrigerators to the dinky back of the store, and Kyungsoo had to whip his head away upon looking down, because his sight landed on the pocket buttons resting on the swell of Manager Park’s plush posterior. Kyungsoo hears Manager Park snort to himself.
"Is something of the matter?" Kyungsoo asks in formal Korean to Manager Park.
Manager Park turns his head to see Kyungsoo and points to the packed baked snacks section on their left. “Do you like cream buns? I like milk and mocha.”
“Ah.” Kyungsoo flinches, frantically searching for an accurate response to his interviewer’s attempt at small talk. “Yes. I like banana in my steamed buns,” and he watches as Manager Park’s eyes grow wider than they already are. “I mean-I-I apologize. I mean. Uh. The banana cream in the banana-flavored steamed buns. I like banana-flavored buns. I also like cream-flavored buns. I apologize.”
“You have great taste for bananas,” Manager Park praises as they reach the door that says, ‘EMPLOYEES ONLY.’
“I-thank you,” Kyungsoo mumbles and looks away, because he wonders if Manager Park is just naturally good at small talk or if it was sarcastic or if he’s just magically twice as embarrassing in such a short amount of time.
Manager Park opens the door for the two of them. The back office is cramped, with one armchair and one two-seater couch to seat the occasional complainer, as well as a corner desk full of scattered paper where Manager Park likely sits. Manager Park walks to sit behind the desk and Kyungsoo waits until Manager Park allows him to sit across him.
“Please sit,” Manager Park blesses.
“Thank you,” Kyungsoo says. He sits down.
“Your file, please.”
“Yes,” Kyungsoo replies. He hands Manager Park his file and watches hesitantly as Manager Park leafs through the one-page resume. He wonders if his attached picture on the upper left-hand corner is too ugly and outdated.
“When was this picture taken?” Manager Park inquires, then glances at Kyungsoo before looking back. “You look younger.”
“In college, Sir. I apologize if I looked different after having gained weight.”
Manager Park waves it off. “You’re fine. I know you put on good weight. You should update your picture because you look better in-person today than you do here.”
“Ah,” Kyungsoo smiles coyly, flustered beyond repair. “Thank you.”
“So,” Manager Park puts away some of his files to put his arms on the table. “Shall we start?” He asks, eyes shooting point-blank at Kyungsoo’s. Kyungsoo only waits. “Alright. Let’s begin. Tell me about yourself.”
“My name is Do Kyungsoo. I have recently graduated from Kyungsang University, majoring in accounting. My father is a geology teacher in a high school in Gyeonggi, while my mom maintains a hair salon at the front of our house. I am an A-type, which makes me a disciplined high-achiever. Wherever I go, I always strive to give as much contribution as I possibly can.” Kyungsoo’s eyes move down to the soft lines of Manager Park’s adam’s apple, and he looks away, helplessly gulping. It’s a job interview and Kyungsoo can't stop this incessant messing in his mind. His eyes pop open upon the possibility of Manager Park actually hearing and seeing his nasty, nasty thoughts. He slowly returns his gaze towards Manager Park in caution and mortification.
“I’ll be back,” Manager Park excuses himself out of the room. He returns with the smallest available coffee cup and a bottle of water. He places the cup in front of Kyungsoo, cracks the bottle lid open, and pours water up to the brim of the coffee cup. “You look thirsty,” Manager Park rasps in his deep hot voice out of his deep hot mouth, pressingly woobinesque in passive-aggressive behavior. Kyungsoo’s stomach sinks, oh so heavily. He really, really hopes that this glass of water has nothing to do with his thinking about Manager Park in all those different ways. The manheels of Manager Park’s leather shoes click in intimidation as he steps slowly back towards his seat. He reopens the half-empty water bottle and drinks out of it. “I hope you don’t mind,” Manager Park says.
Kyungsoo lifts the coffee cup carefully, watches Manager Park’s prying eyes as he sips out of courtesy just enough to keep the water from spilling.
“Should we continue?” Manager Park offers. He smiles, crosses his legs, and leans back. If Kyungsoo doesn’t call this as being on edge, he doesn’t know what is. He really wants more of that water but he doesn’t want Manager Park to take it the wrong way. Besides, it’s impolite to drink without permission in situations like this. Manager Park clears his throat, and Kyungsoo returns his attention to him. “So, Mister Do Kyungsoo, how did you hear about this position? Have you always been interested in working with us at Seeyou Mart?”
Kyungsoo watches the way Manager Park moves his lips, and he needs to stop himself from thinking that, because all he wants is for Manager Park to accept him and let him have this job. He clears his throat. “I truly like Seeyou Mart. This Seeyou Mart, as well as other branches, has helped me go through difficult times, be it exam weeks, bad breakups, or hungry midnights. I would like to continue the legacy of friendliness and convenience that I experienced as a Seeyou customer.” It’s really because he needs the money, and now it’s also because he knows that GQ Cover on Stilts will be his boss at this branch. “I always pass by this convenience store. I saw the sign on the window walking home and decided to apply.”
“Is that so? Is there anything special, anything unique, that makes me want to hire you?”
Kyungsoo would love to say that these luscious lips will especially make Manager Park want to hire him, but he opts for a more diplomatic answer because he needs to shut his mind up. “I,” he starts shakily. Hopefully Manager Park will not want to kick his butt somewhere in the future. “I am pleasant with my words and very careful in managing money and inventory. My smile is known to make people happy, and I adapt quickly. I am also physically strong, in case I am needed for stock loading. I live nearby and therefore can be called to serve you-” shoot, wrong wording, “w-whenever required.”
“Always ready. Perfect.” Manager Park smiles. “Tell me your strengths and weaknesses. How do you use these qualities to your advantage?”
“I am good at following directions,” Kyungsoo says. “I am detailed, neat, good at many things, and am focused on the task at hand. I believe that being detailed and neat helps with keeping the store, and having great dexterity will help the store upon breakdowns and unexpected situations.” Kyungsoo is experiencing involuntary swelling and extreme discomfort in his dong. He presses down on it in vain hopes of having it hide and go away, and he really hopes that no one notices, especially not his interviewer. “My focus will help me give the best service to each customer. As for my weaknesses, I have a hard time hiding my emotions, lose composure when nervous, and although only occasionally, can become emotionally volatile. Despite that, I am patient with others and easily cooperate. I take my weaknesses as advantages because these qualities often come with being assertive, and I believe that my assertiveness more often than not helps me, and therefore Seeyou Mart by extension, to get what I want.”
“Alright. Volatile.” Manager Park chuckles. Maybe Kyungsoo should have not said it. Manager Park finishes the bottle of water he poured for Kyungsoo earlier, making sure to give Kyungsoo a gulp show out of it. He slams the empty bottle on the table, sighs in refreshment, and puts the lid next to the bottle. “Tell me, Mister Do Kyungsoo, since you said that you lose composure easily when you’re nervous,” Manager Park smirked. “How well do you handle pressure?”
“I enjoy being worked under… f…fast. Settings.” Kyungsoo cringes. Manager Park is giving him intensely raised eyebrows. “And high pressure. When things are going especially hard,” Kyungsoo gulps, “it motivates me to endure,” Kyungsoo clears his throat, “more, and achieve more, despite the given restraints.”
The eyebrow Manager Park gave is giving Kyungsoo’s stomach a curl, because, what if those eyebrows contort in p-pleasur-
“There you go, with all your freudian slips. That was you under pressure.” Manager Park says, and oh how Kyungsoo wants to melt into his seat out of shame. “Just kidding. I have one last question to help determine if you are the best candidate.” Manager Park pops his knuckles and his neck, mentally pushing Kyungsoo one step further into the corner. “What motivates you? What gets you up in the morning?”
Kyungsoo would like to say that, damn, Manager Park will definitely get him and his little buddy up in the morning, but he opted for a more diplomatic answer. “I understand that these answers may sound humble, but the thought of making my parents proud and making others smile from the things I do motivates me. It gets me through the day.” Kyungsoo’s eyes wander to the red tie hanging from under Manager Park’s collar, and maybe, just maybe, he imagines sitting in Manager Park’s lap and pulling that tie until Manager Park is a breath’s away from his face. Take off that tie and cover his eyes with it. Manager Park’s adam’s apple bob in a visible gulp, and Kyungsoo moves his eyes to Manager Park’s astounded face. They, inadvertently, lock eyes.
A helpless Manager Park breaks eye contact fifteen seconds later. He sinks back into his seat, crossing his legs and biting his lips and running his fingers through his hair out of sheer distress. He pokes a tongue out his cheek and closes his eyes. Manager Park sighs, then he looks at Kyungsoo in the eye. “I believe that is the end of our interview,” Manager Park explains in that voice, a notch hotter from the anger. “Any questions you would like to ask?”
Kyungsoo can more than sense the weight in the air and it makes him want to get the heck out of here. He is in deep doodoo. It probably would be best if he leaves as soon as possible. “Um, no, Sir.”
“Any questions you think I forgot to ask?”
“No, Sir.”
Kyungsoo looks away. He’s probably not gonna get the job. He’s quite sure of it now.
He rises from his seat and Kyungsoo follows the gesture.
“Thank you, Mister Do Kyungsoo. If accepted, you are expected to work about thirty hours a week and show up on short notice. All store clerks are paid according to the Seoul Metropolitan Area Minimum Wage Requirements unless noted otherwise, and pay is given every other week. If accepted, you are expected to be a team player, quick on your feet, and pleasant to customers at all times.” Manager Park walks around the desk in those clicking leather shoes and offers a handshake. “I will notify you of your results in a day or two.”
“Thank you, Sir,” Kyungsoo ends, left hand politely supporting his right elbow as he takes Manager Park’s handshake. Kyungsoo takes one step back. “I will show myself out.”
“Actually,” Manager Park interrupts. Kyungsoo turns back on his heels. Manager Park steps closer until they are only at arm’s length from each other.
Manager Park pulls his red necktie out of the slip of his suit and offers the bottom end to Kyungsoo. “Here. You said you wanted to pull my necktie?”
Kyungsoo is beyond mortified. He never said that out loud.
“I heard,” Manager Park replied. “I saw, too. All of this,” he taps his temples. “You should be a rated graphic novelist.”
Kyungsoo is so not gonna get this job. His eyes grew wider when he saw Manager Park smile upon that thought. He’s really hard too-shoot, no, he couldn’t say that-
“It’s okay,” Manager Park says.
Kyungsoo pleats himself into a right-angled bow. “I apologize. I truly, truly, deeply apologize,” he pleads. “I hope that you will forgive my inappropriate thoughts and pardon me for wasting your time throughout this interview. I plead that you excuse the imageries you have heard and witnessed. I truly, deeply apologize.”
Kyungsoo stares at the floor, still scared that Manager Park will never, ever, forgive him.
“There’s a nice café a few blocks down.” Manager Park says. Kyungsoo slowly lifts his head from the bow, out of curiosity. “Would you like to try to chat with me for, say, one hour? Without you assuming us in pseudoacrobatic positions with each other, that is.”
“I mean,” Kyungsoo chokes, battling the dicktwitch-inducing image of him pulling Manager Park’s hair while making out. Manager Park coughs loudly upon the thought broadcast. Kyungsoo embarrassedly shuts his eye to try and shush his mind. It is rude to decline an offer from his potential boss. “Of course.” He really, really needs to go home and bust that nut.
“Perfect,” Manager Park chimes. One side of his suit bottom is resting slanted, embarrassingly elevated on the pocket of his slacks. “I’ll let you off for the time being.”
“I will come back here in one hour,” Kyungsoo says. “Thank you very much.” Kyungsoo pardons himself and rushes his way to the door.
“Mister Do Kyungsoo,” Manager Park calls, just when his hand was turning the door handle.
Kyungsoo turns his head. He’s not thinking anything this time. What possibly could Manager Park be calling him for?
“Don’t forget to wash your hand after you,” Manager Park vertically shakes an empty fist in the air.
Kyungsoo dips his head in shame and rushes to leave the hell out of that room. A customer is finishing transaction when he walks toward Jongdae and the counter. Kyungsoo gets to Jongdae at the same time the customer leaves the store.
"Thank you for your help," Kyungsoo speaks to Jongdae, ready to take off out of this convenience store for good.
"How did it go?" Jongdae asks earnestly, all his attention given towards Kyungsoo.
"It went quite well," Kyungsoo replies, not quite knowing what to say.
"Distracting, isn't he?" Jongdae comments, then he clucks his tongue and shakes his head.
"H--how did you know? Do you also…"
"Nah. Just messing with you. I work with him here, of course I would know. As long as you don’t think bad about him, you’ll be fine. Now get lost, Kid. I'll probably have to get used to seeing you daily pretty darn soon."
Kyungsoo bows his goodbye to and runs for the door, lets it electronically ding to notify his absence. All he needs to do is get off, change clothes, and fulfill Manager Park’s invitation, and accept this job if he gets it, even if it spells mental suicide. Working under Hot Man GQ On Stilts Manager Park must be a bliss, but life is fair and all good things come with a price.
Kyungsoo needs to jack off. He rushes his way home.