My Eyesight Turn Clouded (When You Look at Me)
Title: My Eyesight Turns Clouded
Pairing: Chanyeol/D.O, D.O/Kai, D.O/Sehun, Sehun/Luhan, Kai/Luhan
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5,300 words
Warnings: girl!members, language, implied mention of sexual intercourse, non-consensual sexual situations
Summary: Kyungsoo always has her daddy complying to her every wish, but she has to learn that arranged marriages suck, but so does love at first sight.
Title taken from Baekhyun and Kai’s line in Growl. Modern 'adaptation' of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. Originally written for tripmee on universexo.
My Eyesight Turn Clouded (When You Look at Me)
Engagement, they say. Bullshit.
Kyungsoo had her arms folded throughout the ride to Uncle Joonmyun’s, clad in nothing more formal than an oversized shirt and extremely short jeans. Her dad had barged into her room and dragged her by the heel when she was busy instagramming on her bed; perfect fingernails leaving scrape lines on the wall. After a laughably short ride, her dad pulled over by a beautiful house hidden behind bamboo trees, menacingly tall walls.
“My Dear Senior,” Mr. Park called affectionately to the intercom. His face was disproportioned into a gleeful pancake batter by the fish-eye lens. “We are here!” Kyungsoo huffed and leaned on the other side of the guest gate cubicle, pulling up her phone. The only time she let one hand off her phone was to twirl around her lush, wavy hair.
The gate clicked open. “Come in, come in!” Uncle Joonmyun cheered through the intercom.
“Dear Senior!” Mr. Park hollered as he entered the front yard. The front door opened to reveal a man too old to be a dad, too young to be a granddad.
“My beloved Junior!” Uncle Joonmyun called enthusiastically from his front door.
They ran and hugged each other in slow motion, twirling each other, sharing gigantic smiles.
“Ah!” Uncle Joonmyun popped his head in between Mr. Park’s armpit, head still locked in a big bad hug. “Look who’s here!”
Uncle Joonmyun peeled off of Mr. Park and ran dramatically towards Kyungsoo-immediately grabbing all her attention away from snapchatting her eternally unapproved boyfriend. She held back her loudest shriek as she braced herself for a big bad hug from the creepiest old lad alive.
Uncle Joonmyun stopped right in front of her nose and patted her cute little head. “My my, look at how our Kyungsoo has grown.” Uncle Joonmyun turned his head to call to Mr. Park. “Come on, let’s go inside.”
“We brought our Dear Senior cake,” Mr. Park said after toeing off his shoes. He put the cake on the coffee table.
Uncle Joonmyun let Kyungsoo and Mr. Park sit on his couch, and he yelled to his nephew for tea.
“Sehunah, our guest is here.”
Uncle Joonmyun looked at Mr. Park’s eyes and just laughed raucously. “Ah, our matcha gum, Park. Our matcha gum.” Without a sliver of confusion, Mr. Park laughed along, equally loud. Uncle Joonmyun had proposed an idea of marrying Mr. Park’s daughter, Kyungsoo, to his nephew, Sehun, so that his bubblegum factory could merge with his favorite student's high-tech tea farm.
The saucers clacked on the glass-covered low table. A lanky, handsome boy was kneeling to serve everyone tea. “Here’s your tea, My Sweetheart,” the boy cooed to Kyungsoo with his nasal voice.
“Go away.”
“Kyungsoo,” her dad reprimanded.
“Thanks,” Kyungsoo grumbled and drank two big gulps of it. She leaned back on the sofa and resumed making pouty faces to her cellphone.
Uncle Joonmyun’s nephew came back to sit with them after putting the tea tray in the kitchen.
“Our Dearest Kyungsoo,” Uncle Joonmyun started. The lanky nephew guy had been ogling at her for two minutes now.
“Kyungsoo, put the phone down,” Mr. Park whispered through gritted teeth.
She sighed and finally had the decency to listen to her dad.
“My handsome Sehun here is the one you’re going to marry in a month!” Uncle Joonmyun exclaimed, and laughed proudly. He patted his nephew on the back to make him start talking.
“Hello,” he bowed in his seat, then he resumed staring at Kyungsoo.
Her dad must’ve lost it.
“W-what.” She gabbled.
Her dad couldn’t actually be serious.
“You’re getting,” her dad and Uncle Joonmyun cheered, “married!” Jazz hands.
“Um,” she said. Unable to fathom. “Excuse me.”
Jongin 11.15
I’m getting married. 11.15
My dad just set me up with someone weird 11.15
THIS IS FUCKING FREAKY 11.15
Jongin I swear 11.16
KIDNAP ME AND MAKE ME YOUR RUNAWAY BRIDE 11.16
In the midst of texting her boyfriend, Kyungsoo could not sense her dad approaching from behind her. He snatched her phone away. “Dad!” she cried.
“No more talking to that bum.”
“He has a name!”
“You have my blessings to marry Sehun, and Sehun only,” Mr. Park singsonged.
“But-” Kyungsoo decided that being prickly wouldn’t make things work. Her eyes softened and she pouted. “But I can’t marry him, Dad. The only one I love is Jongin. He is one very, very fine man. You will love him the way I do.”
“And even more so is Sehun, Kyungsoo. You will love him the way I do.”
“Fine. So you love him.” Kyungsoo turned away and stomped back to the living room.
“YOU KNOW WHAT, SOHUN. GET LOST AND GO MARRY MY DAD.”
Kyungsoo slammed Uncle Joonmyun’s front door and swung his gate shut behind her. The men in the living room were panicking. Mr. Park pushed Sehun up from his seat and pleaded, “Go get her!”
Sehun ran like the wind out the gate, and the two lads sighed in defeat.
“Do you see, Dear Senior?” Mr. Park sighed. “This is why I need your help.”
Uncle Joonmyun did not reply. He was sorry for himself, too.
“Oh-” Uncle Joonmyun exclaimed as an idea popped out of his head. He took a cigarette case from his breast pocket and clicked it open, flicking through business cards. He found what he wanted and gave it to Mr. Park. Mr. Park received it with both hands.
“My favorite shaman,” Uncle Joonmyun explained. “I will drive My Beloved Junior there.”
Mr. Park looked at Uncle Joonmyun with profound hope. "Thank you, Dear Senior!"
÷
Sehun’s running footsteps pattered on the sloping asphalt road. “Kyungsoo!”
“Go away, Sohun,” Kyungsoo called as she kept walking.
“It’s Sehun,” Sehun corrected.
Whatever. Kyungsoo had no time worthless enough to spend on that Sohun kid.
“Yeah, Kyungsoo, it’s Sehun!” A girl’s voice chimed from even further behind Sehun. Kyungsoo stopped in her steps.
“What?! Not again,” Sehun cried at the sight of his worst, most desperate fan.
Kyungsoo turned slowly around. Eyes still glued disgustingly on that girl’s, Sehun said, “Kyungsoo, let’s go eat sweets.”
“Not with you,” Kyungsoo calmly replied, then resumed walking.
“Yeah, with me,” the girl cried to Sehun. She stomped forth to follow the hopeless two.
“Go away, Luhan!” Sehun said to the girl who had been waiting behind the lamppost and stalking them all the way from Uncle Joonmyun’s house. Sehun resumed chasing after Kyungsoo before she could disappear. “Kyungsoo! Kyungsoo, you’re very pretty.”
“I know,” she yelled to the road ahead.
“I'm pretty too, you know!” Luhan hollered.
“You’re as pretty as a sewer. Now go away,” Sehun replied. “Come on my pretty Kyungsoo,” Sehun pleaded, finally running to catch her. “Pastries. My treat.”
Kyungsoo stopped.
“What?!” Luhan cried.
Luhan, still steps behind them on the taller foot of the hill, watched Kyungsoo turn her head to Sehun. “A dozen macarons,” Kyungsoo requested smugly.
Sehun’s face paled, because his thrifty mind did not have 20k wons to spend on a small box of 20% sugar 80% air. Sehun inhaled a wheeze.
He nodded. “Yes, a dozen macarons.”
“I want a dozen macarons, too!” Luhan protested.
“GO AWAY, LUHAN, STOP STALKING ME.”
Sehun briskwalked to catch Kyungsoo again and Kyungsoo kept walking faster. Halfway up the hill, Luhan watched as they shrank into the horizon before finally following them again.
“Why is everything always about Kyungsoo. ‘Kyungsoo is so pretty,’ ‘Kyungsoo has really beautiful eyes,’ ‘Kyungsoo this,’ ‘Kyungsoo that’.” Luhan complained to herself as she ran down the hill. “Why not ‘Luhan this, Luhan that,’ ‘Luhan is the shining moonlight in this eternal darkness, the only queen of my heart!’” she raised one hand as if reciting a poem.
Luhan was not ugly, oh, no, not at all. She was fair and her eyes bright, her frame as endearing as Kyungsoo’s; only with more bones and less mass. Unlike Kyungsoo, whose hair could be compared to that of Esmeralda’s, Luhan had beautiful, slightly wavy, well-dyed red hair. But of course, the vines of jealousy had made Kyungsoo everything Luhan wished she could be.
Luhan bumped into Sehun who bumped into Kyungsoo because Kyungsoo stopped right in front of the pastry shop door. She held the glass door’s handle and turned around. “Give that girl some regard so she could shut up, would you?” and entered the shop while leaving the two alone outside.
Kyungsoo looked up at the overhead chalkboard menu and inhaled the soft smell of sugar and vanilla. She had three minutes to herself before the love warriors came back to stand behind her.
“Hi, what would you like to order today?” the cashier smiled.
“A dozen macarons.” Kyungsoo said. “And a vanilla éclair.”
The cashier made Kyungsoo pick the flavors she wanted, and she ended up getting fifteen instead of twelve. When the cashier replied a grand total nearing 50k, Kyungsoo smiled and stepped aside to reveal a gulping Sehun and a wailing Luhan.
They sat down at one of the tables and Kyungsoo was itching to contact Jongin. If it weren’t for the so many perks, she would have regretted being born to such a walloping excuse of a dad. She needed to get her phone back now.
“Hey, um…” Kyungsoo said to the red-haired girl.
“Luhan.”
“Lu. Han.” Kyungsoo nodded. “I like you. Can I borrow your phone?”
Luhan looked at Kyungsoo in deep, deep suspicion, but gave her phone anyway.
"Thanks, Beautiful." Kyungsoo took the phone and offered Luhan her macarons. "Want some?"
"Screw you. You just want to rub it in my face, don't you?" Luhan shot Kyungsoo a dirty look and leaned back on her seat. When she looked away, her expressions changed. "If only it worked like that. If only you could literally smother just a little bit of that perfectness to my face." Luhan started a brand new paragraph of I-envy-Kyungsoo while Kyungsoo busied herself with using Luhan's phone to send Jongin (ay, bae) a supposedly seductive selca of her eating vanilla éclair (thinking about you).
Kyungsoo gave Luhan's phone back with a wink and a smooch, before wiping the cream and frosting from all over her face. The girls turned heads when Sehun's phone suddenly rang.
Sehun answered the call, and they watched his side of the extremely long conversation (that only consisted of four yes's) until he hung up.
"Let's head back. Your dad and Uncle Joonmyun asked for you," Sehun informed Kyungsoo.
"Why isn't your uncle looking for me, too, Sehunnnnnn?!?!??!?!" Luhan moaned in despair and slid further down her seat with a sad frown.
"They're holding us an engagement party, too."
Kyungsoo choked on her pistachio macaron.
"You know what, Luhan, come with," Kyungsoo said, taking her by the wrist. If it weren’t for the sneaker heels, the clicking of her footsteps would’ve echoed all over the patisserie.
They stopped by the toilet, outside Sehun's earshot.
"You know I have a very hot boyfriend and you know you want my fiancé that I don't want," Kyungsoo started. "Here's the deal: You'll come to the party. Have Sehun all you want. But that night, I'm gonna flee with my boyfriend, and your job is to make sure Sehun's uncle or my dad doesn't know. Okay?"
Luhan nodded.
"Good," Kyungsoo concluded. They walked back to the table, and Sehun was wrapping up for Kyungsoo.
÷
“Didn’t you say you were taking me to a shaman, Dear Senior?” Mr. Park asked when he looked up the levels of the talent agency building from the car window. They had left as soon as Sehun did.
“I am. This is the shaman’s office.”
“O-okay.”
They stepped out of the car and entered the building. It was an actors’ agency, Mr. Park learned though the movie and broadway posters on the wall.
Mr. Park followed Uncle Joonmyun and when he looked around, he spotted a hanging sign near the staircase. "Love Doctor 4th floor," it said.
"I see it, Dear Senior. The shamans are upstairs."
"Mr. Joonmyun!" A light man's voice greeted. "How nice is it to have you here!" The man and a person behind him, both clad in a t-shirt and training pants, shook Uncle Joonmyun's hand enthusiastically. "Congratulations on your nephew's engagement!"
“Ah, Tao! Minseok!” Uncle Joonmyun laughed and nodded to the following paragraph of small talk. Uncle Joonmyun kept up his smiling eyes, all the while turning his head to Mr. Park for once to make him go upstairs by himself.
Mr. Park turned around and walked up the stairs, all the way to the fourth floor. Unlike the first three floors that really felt like a theater company, the fourth floor was dimly lit and smelling of incense. It had traditional music playing in the background.
“Welcommmme~” the receptionist said. She was a scrawny woman with thin lips in a strikingly colorful hanbok. She waited for Mr. Park Chanyeol to speak. “We are happy to serve youhhhh~.”
“I would like to see Male Shaman Kim Jongdae, please.”
“Did you make an appointmenttttt~?”
Mr. Park shook his head slowly. “I-Mr. Joonmyun advised me to go here.”
“Awriiiggght~” The receptionist left her full table and bowed before she disappeared behind a shell curtain.
Mr. Park looked at the name on the table. Byun Baekhyun, co-owner.
The woman came back and escorted him inside. “Follow minggggg~”
Mr. Park took off his shoes and bowed as soon as he was on the same platform. “Hello.”
“Ah, the sorrows of having a beautiful only child,” the Male Shaman mused, sitting grandly on the cushion behind a low table. He looked disturbingly young in his Shaman costume, and even more, mischievous. Mr. Park flinched when the shaman saw right through him. “Please sit.”
Mr. Park sat down on the cushion across Male Shaman Kim Jongdae.
“I have some idea of what brings you here, but what, very exactly, brings you here?” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae asked, rubbing his well-combed beard wisely.
“I am in the middle of matching my daughter with my old lecturer’s nephew, but my daughter loves a man that I will never approve. Please make my daughter and my senior’s nephew fall in love with each other.”
“No problem at all.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae replied confidently. “Tell me, do you have pictures?”
Mr. Park looked at Male Shaman Kim Jongdae’s with wide eyes and patted all his pockets. He took out his black cellphone and he took Kyungsoo’s pastel pink one. He tried unlocking Kyungsoo’s phone, but to no avail. He sighed.
“It’s okay,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae said.
“M-my daughter is small and white, clean and bright,” Mr. Park supplied for the lack of a picture.
Male Shaman Kim Jongdae nodded solemnly. “Elaborate.”
“Extremely wavy hair. Big, shiny eyes. Plump lips.” Mr. Park stopped and replayed his words in his head and hey, they all came from his genes! “-just, very tiny.”
“Pretty vague, but that works for now,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae nodded.
“The mate is tall and strikingly handsome, with sharp features and broad shoulders.”
“Very well then. Doesn’t sound like too many people share those features,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae nodded. “Now that we don’t have any pictures or hair strands to do distant treatments with-”
“There’s-” Mr. Park started. Male Shaman Kim Jongdae gave him a listen. “There’s an engagement party me and my in-law-to-be will be holding.” Mr. Park wrote on a handy little notebook he produced from his pocket and ripped off the page to hand to Male Shaman Kim Jongdae with two hands.
“Very well.”
“All things can be arrangedddd~” Receptionist Byun Baekhyun squeaked, right by Mr. Park’s ear. Mr. Park jolted. “Session is finishedddd~” Receptionist Byun Baekhyun bowed to Male Shaman Kim Jongdae just to cue Mr. Park to bow and leave. “Follow minggg~” Mr. Park bowed and followed Receptionist Byun Baekhyun back to the front table.
“Our service would be 150 thouzangggggs~”
“Honey, would you stop?” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae called from his lair.
“Alright, Husband,” Receptionist Byun Baekhyun chimed, finally with a normal tone. She wrote the receipt and waited for Mr. Park’s cash-credit card-before punching in numbers. She smiled and gave the card back with a receipt. She took a careful glance to the shaman’s lair and whispered, “Thank youngggg~”
As soon as Mr. Park was out of earshot, Male Shaman Kim Jongdae gave a wolf-whistle, and his beloved minion scurried to the call.
“Xing,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae called and extended his hand to give the note. “You know what to do.”
÷
Mr. Park and Uncle Joonmyun were too busy managing preparations because they couldn’t hear Sehun crying over the consistent banging on the wall upstairs. Mr. Park had denied Kyungsoo’s utmost wish to go home from Uncle Joonmyun’s house, so he had brought half of her dresser in a few luggages up to Uncle Joonmyun’s family-guest room on the second floor. Sehun was crying outside the closed door and Luhan was crying pleading him to stop crying.
Inside, Kyungsoo’s hot boyfriend Jongin had sneaked through the gigantic windows to kidnap her, but they got distracted in between and became too busy fornicating on Uncle Joonmyun’s guest bed.
“Can’t Sehun just stop wailing,” Kyungsoo complained, leaning comfortably face-down on a pillow. “I can’t-uuuggh-concentrate.”
Jongin groaned very loudly behind her, and Sehun cried, “No! Noohohoho…” behind the door. Outside, Sehun was trying so hard to brush off Luhan, all the while still crying over not being able to have Kyungsoo.
“There’s no use, Sehun. She doesn’t love you. I do. Love me,” Luhan pleaded.
“I told you to bug off already,” he bawled. “I’m so gonna crush him to pieces.”
When Sehun heard footsteps up the staircase, he immediately wiped away any evidence of tears on his face. He was hiccupping, and it made him feel less manly, but he let it slide.
“Come on, Kids, let’s get ready!” Mr. Park announced. “You need time to get dressed!” He looked at Sehun and Luhan who were collecting themselves from the floor, and at the guest room’s closed door (and the noise inside). “What’s going on?”
Sehun swallowed the sobs. "They... They..."
Everyone upstairs heard Kyungsoo moaning along with a deep thud on the wall.
Mr. Park exchanged looks with Sehun and the uninvited Luhan and stepped up to knock very loudly three times before opening the door without a warning. It opened.
“OH MY GOD-”
Mr. Park was not ready to see his only beloved daughter literally joining hips with the one man he needed to eradicate from the face of the planet. He shut the door in a heartbeat and panted in mortification and fury. Now he could not unsee the picture branded in his mind. “God, god oh dear god,” he covered his face. Sehun and Luhan could only watch his cocktail of emotions. “That son of a bitch.”
He barged in again to see both of them at least decently detached and huddled under a blanket.
“Dad-you can do whatever you want, but please, please let Jongin come to the party? I won’t act out anymore. I promise,” Kyungsoo pleaded before Mr. Park could even start.
Mr. Park looked at Jongin’s face with rage.
“Marry Sehun, and that stray dog of yours can come tonight.” Mr. Park looked at the dresser and Kyungsoo’s luggage so that he didn’t have to look at the two in the eye. “I’m going to bring a hairdresser to you so no one can leave in the guise of going to a hair salon. Close the window.”
“C-can I stay too, Sir? Will Mr. Joonmyun approve?” Luhan asked with big, shiny eyes. “Do I look prettier than your child?”
Mr. Park nodded meekly just to shrug her off. Luhan squealed in joy. “Hairdressers should be here in half an hour.”
÷
Mr. Park and Uncle Joonmyun had that much power combined that it was full house in Uncle Joonmyun’s vast living room even with such short notice. On the sidelines, Male Shaman Kim Jongdae and his underling Xing were casually observing the bar.
“Ah, those people at the drinks counter,” Xing commented. “The servers are very good at juggling bottles.”
“They’re called bartenders, Xing,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae corrected, knowing Xing’s clumsy mastery in Non-Medieval Korean.
“Yes, they are very smart servers.”
“Bartenders, Xing.”
The bartender unintentionally elbowed a rock glass to the ground when he was doing a trick, making people turn heads at the shatter for a second before dancing again.
“Oh no, the server crashed the glass.”
“Bartender broke it,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae corrected again. “Come on, let’s head to the front.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae shoved into Xing’s hand a glass of margarita spiked with his potent love juice. He still had dose after dose in his pockets if things happened to go awry. “Now help me and find the guy we’re looking for: tall, handsome, sharp features, broad shoulders.”
Xing innocently walked wherever his boss pushed him.
“Found him, Boss.” Xing exclaimed when he saw a tall, handsome young man with broad shoulders looking out Uncle Joonmyun’s backyard. Some good steps away from him was a red-haired girl in white heels.
“Good. Poor girl must be so done with all the mean things he’s done to her.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae put an arm around his minion and gave the drink another dose of potion for good measure. “Now go.”
Xing walked forward and watched as his target entered the restroom. He looked at his wide cup and realized that he couldn’t offer a drink if the person’s in the bathroom, so he waited outside the pretty barren aisle.
“Yo, Man,” Xing greeted as soon as the fine young man walked out of the restroom. The fine young man looked at him in suspicion, but politely nodded anyway. “I got margarita for you.”
The fine young man immediately gave Xing an extremely freaked-out look.
“Uh-courtesy of your… uh… in-law to be! He told me to give it to you. You know, a nice, diplomatic gesture.”
They walked back to the patio and the fine young man accepted the margarita with doubt, although not remembering about to have an in-law that liked him-or any in-laws at all. Maybe Mr. Park had a change of heart. He looked out the backyard and took a sip. Xing silently faded into the background.
“Mission accomplished, Boss,” Xing said to his not-so-futuristic-anymore droid gear.
“Good. You can come back here, get a drink or two.”
“Thank you, Boss.” Xing turned around and left the sliding doors by the patio.
The garden air felt wonderful to Jongin tonight. He turned his head to see Luhan, the goddess of his heart, with beautiful burgundy hair shining in the moonlight. He could not help but turn her around by the waist. “Ay, Boo,” Jongin whispered with the sexiest voice mankind could muster, sticking his forehead onto hers.
Luhan gasped and closed her eyes because she was surprised, and because Jongin was too hot for any mortal nonetheless. She did not understand what was happening.
“I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's,” Jongin continued, eyes boring through Luhan’s tightly shut eyelids.
“J-jongin… wwwhat-” Luhan stuttered.
“I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.”
“What on earth-” she tried pushing herself away, but his hold was tight. It was as if she hypnotized him or something. She banged on her chest to no avail. “Jongin-Jongin. Aren’t those words only for Kyungsoo to hear?” Luhan peeked an eye open and Jongin was looking at every corner of her face. It was pretty hot, but it was really, really freaking her out.
Jongin lifted her chin and brought her lips to kissing distance. “Screw Kyungsoo. What is a Kyungsoo.” He leaned in and-
“Oh my god-”
The fear gave Luhan enough power to flee Jongin’s grasp and run back to Uncle Joonmyun’s living room. This was most probably the freakiest thing that could ever happen to her.
“Luhan, my goddess, don’t run away from me,” Jongin pleaded. He managed to catch up and softly take a lock of her hair to sniff it, because it smelled like a mountain of jasmines.
On the other side of the party, Male Shaman Kim Jongdae was sitting at the bar when he caught his target still running and pleading after Mr. Park’s daughter. “What the hell,” he mumbled. “Xing,” he whispered.
“Yes, Boss?”
“Did you not give the potion to our target?”
“The tall, handsome, broad-shouldered man? Yes, I did, Boss.”
“Then why isn’t he with the red-haired girl goddammit!”
"I thought our target was supposed to be with Mr. Park's daughter."
"Well yeah but--he's been such a prick to the poor redhead, cut her some slack." Male Shaman Kim Jongdae finished his glass of water and rose from his seat and pulled Xing with him. "Come on, we got some shit to do."
Not too far from Sehun’s quest for Kyungsoo was Jongin’s new quest for Luhan. When the tired and pissed Kyungsoo finally stopped, the lovestruck Jongin was sniffing (or more like, licking) all over Luhan in an entranced manner. Kyungsoo was baffled, offended.
“K-Kyungsoo. I swear, it’s not me,” Luhan cried. “Jongin just-ew god stop licking-crowded all over me all of a sudden. It’s not me, I swear.”
Kyungsoo stepped forward and took Jongin’s face between her thumb and pointer. Jongin looked like a blobbing fish. She let go of him and slapped him the hardest a woman could. “KNOCK SOME SENSE WOULD YOU.”
“I have, unfortunately,” Jongin replied with amped masculinity, rubbing and putting a tongue in the red cheek, “which is exactly why I came to pick my Luhan over your ugly ass. I must’ve been blind when I saw you.”
Kyungsoo gasped at the insult, red glossed lips gaping wide. But then, she knew that being prickly wouldn’t help in this kind of situation. She pouted. “But she doesn’t love you, Jongin. You know you love me. You know I love you.”
Jongin’s eyebrows wrinkled. “What? No, I don’t,” he scoffed. He almost resumed sniffing about on Luhan when his Luhan was snatched away by an unknown hand into the sea of dancing people.
"Ey, I know how to hide from Jongin. Don't worry," Xing said, pulling Luhan by the elbow.
Luhan would have whimpered and yelped again, but somehow she didn't. Anything sounded better than a horrifyingly flirty Jongin.
Another mysterious hand took Sehun by the elbow and pulled him to the restroom. “You need to use the restroom,” the person whispered to his ear. Sehun sure was tall, handsome, and broadshouldered like that other guy-he wouldn’t really blame Xing for it, although he still would.
“I need to use the restroom,” Sehun parroted. Male Shaman Kim Jongdae waited outside the restroom when Sehun went in. Across him, Luhan was looking confused and enraged, still being held by his underling, Xing.
On the dance floor, Jongin was trapped with Kyungsoo, having lost track of where Luhan had went.
The lock shook and they knew Sehun was about to come out any second, so Xing brutally covered Luhan’s eyes and as soon as the door opened, Male Shaman Kim Jongdae shoved his potion into Sehun’s mouth, fighting all sorts of resistance Sehun was giving. As soon as Sehun gulped the fluid, the Shaman and Xing immediately fled the scene.
“Oh dear,” Sehun shook his head. “Where have I been all this time, my lady Luhan?”
÷
“Park. Kyungsoo.” Luhan screamed as soon as the person was within earshot. “Did you hire two freaks to pull a prank on me?” Jongin was sniffing and licking around her and Sehun was carrying her in his arms.
“What? No, I didn’t,” Kyungsoo denied.
“Oh yes, yes you did. Aren’t you so happy seeing me drowning in misery that this is all you wanted to do? Making the two men who love you pretend to love me? You’re such an awful excuse of a woman, Kyungsoo.”
“And how far better are you? Stooping for a man’s love, and now two?” Kyungsoo hissed.
Luhan jumped off of Sehun’s hold and took off some pins from her hair. “You really are getting too much.”
“Don’t waste your energy, Luhan, I can do it for you,” Jongin said.
“Over my dead body,” Sehun said, but to Jongin.
“Yeah?” Jongin scoffed, looking at Sehun in the eye. “As if this little girl isn’t enough of a problem already.”
“You said you loved me a minute ago and now you call me a problem?! Jongin, seriously. What is the matter with you?” Kyungsoo cried.
“The matter is when I was with you. Now that I have my Luhan, everything will be alright, and the world will keep spinning around.” Jongin answered and circled his arms around Luhan’s body.
“See?!” Luhan said, struggling in Jongin’s hold. “This has got to be all your doing.”
“I thought it was all your doing, your stealing my lover,” Kyungsoo accentuated with a tug on Jongin’s arm, “from me.”
Sehun used the opportunity to hug Luhan now. “My Luhan.”
“Hey,” Jongin shrugged Kyungsoo off to holler at Sehun. “You need a brawl in the backyard?”
The two tangled couples were starting to grow a crowd.
“They’re all fighting, Boss,” Xing reported, watching from the bar.
“I know,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae whined. He wiped his face. “Dammit.” From the corner of his eye, he could see Mr. Park and Mr. Kim noticing the havoc going on in their party. Mr. Park left his place on the other side of the room to inspect the situation.
“Xing, go and handle Mr. Park.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae ordered. “I’ll take care of the mess.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae leaped off his seat and dusted his neat suit before dragging Jongin away from delivering a fist to Sehun. Kyungsoo and Luhan, on the other hand, were already on an active hairpulling showdown.
“Let me go! Let me go!” Jongin called. They could not hear the girls quarreling about who wanted to make who more miserable.
Male Shaman Kim Jongdae trapped Jongin in a headlock while looking for the hourglass-shaped antidote bottle in his pocket. “You need to go back to your girlfriend, Kid.”
“Noo, noooo, I don’t have a girlfriend! I only have a lover that I love to the moon and bac-mffmrghrjf-”
Male Shaman Kim Jongdae let go of Jongin while the antidote took effect. Jongin was holding his head, looking squeamish and dizzy, until he shook his head with a, “Brlrlrlrlrlrl.”
“Where is my Kyungsoo,” he mumbled, cluelessly.
Male Shaman Kim Jongdae sighed in relief.
The speakers stopped playing obnoxious music and were broadcasting awful feedback screech. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Uncle Joonmyun started, “I would like to introduce the lucky two tonight. My dear nephew, Sehun, and…”
Uncle Joonmyun’s beloved nephew Sehun came up to stage with a girl that was not Kyungsoo in tow. She was thinner with red hair. Uncle Joonmyun had never seen her before.
“She’s the granddaughter of Seouldae’s current president, Uncle Joonmyun,” Sehun whispered to his uncle. Uncle Joonmyun lit up and asked her with a kind smile.
“Hi, Dear. What’s your name?”
“Where’s my kid?” Mr. Park mumbled, searching in the crowd.
Little did he knew that his daughter and her extremely hot, unapproved boyfriend had went back upstairs to drop one suitcase down the gigantic window and climb out of it, running away as far as possible into the horizon. The two of them laughed as they dragged the embroidered suitcase on the sidewalk with them.
Because runaway bride, no matter how old, still makes a great theme for roleplaying tonight.
Pairing: Chanyeol/D.O, D.O/Kai, D.O/Sehun, Sehun/Luhan, Kai/Luhan
Rating: PG-13
Length: 5,300 words
Warnings: girl!members, language, implied mention of sexual intercourse, non-consensual sexual situations
Summary: Kyungsoo always has her daddy complying to her every wish, but she has to learn that arranged marriages suck, but so does love at first sight.
Title taken from Baekhyun and Kai’s line in Growl. Modern 'adaptation' of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream. Originally written for tripmee on universexo.
My Eyesight Turn Clouded (When You Look at Me)
Engagement, they say. Bullshit.
Kyungsoo had her arms folded throughout the ride to Uncle Joonmyun’s, clad in nothing more formal than an oversized shirt and extremely short jeans. Her dad had barged into her room and dragged her by the heel when she was busy instagramming on her bed; perfect fingernails leaving scrape lines on the wall. After a laughably short ride, her dad pulled over by a beautiful house hidden behind bamboo trees, menacingly tall walls.
“My Dear Senior,” Mr. Park called affectionately to the intercom. His face was disproportioned into a gleeful pancake batter by the fish-eye lens. “We are here!” Kyungsoo huffed and leaned on the other side of the guest gate cubicle, pulling up her phone. The only time she let one hand off her phone was to twirl around her lush, wavy hair.
The gate clicked open. “Come in, come in!” Uncle Joonmyun cheered through the intercom.
“Dear Senior!” Mr. Park hollered as he entered the front yard. The front door opened to reveal a man too old to be a dad, too young to be a granddad.
“My beloved Junior!” Uncle Joonmyun called enthusiastically from his front door.
They ran and hugged each other in slow motion, twirling each other, sharing gigantic smiles.
“Ah!” Uncle Joonmyun popped his head in between Mr. Park’s armpit, head still locked in a big bad hug. “Look who’s here!”
Uncle Joonmyun peeled off of Mr. Park and ran dramatically towards Kyungsoo-immediately grabbing all her attention away from snapchatting her eternally unapproved boyfriend. She held back her loudest shriek as she braced herself for a big bad hug from the creepiest old lad alive.
Uncle Joonmyun stopped right in front of her nose and patted her cute little head. “My my, look at how our Kyungsoo has grown.” Uncle Joonmyun turned his head to call to Mr. Park. “Come on, let’s go inside.”
“We brought our Dear Senior cake,” Mr. Park said after toeing off his shoes. He put the cake on the coffee table.
Uncle Joonmyun let Kyungsoo and Mr. Park sit on his couch, and he yelled to his nephew for tea.
“Sehunah, our guest is here.”
Uncle Joonmyun looked at Mr. Park’s eyes and just laughed raucously. “Ah, our matcha gum, Park. Our matcha gum.” Without a sliver of confusion, Mr. Park laughed along, equally loud. Uncle Joonmyun had proposed an idea of marrying Mr. Park’s daughter, Kyungsoo, to his nephew, Sehun, so that his bubblegum factory could merge with his favorite student's high-tech tea farm.
The saucers clacked on the glass-covered low table. A lanky, handsome boy was kneeling to serve everyone tea. “Here’s your tea, My Sweetheart,” the boy cooed to Kyungsoo with his nasal voice.
“Go away.”
“Kyungsoo,” her dad reprimanded.
“Thanks,” Kyungsoo grumbled and drank two big gulps of it. She leaned back on the sofa and resumed making pouty faces to her cellphone.
Uncle Joonmyun’s nephew came back to sit with them after putting the tea tray in the kitchen.
“Our Dearest Kyungsoo,” Uncle Joonmyun started. The lanky nephew guy had been ogling at her for two minutes now.
“Kyungsoo, put the phone down,” Mr. Park whispered through gritted teeth.
She sighed and finally had the decency to listen to her dad.
“My handsome Sehun here is the one you’re going to marry in a month!” Uncle Joonmyun exclaimed, and laughed proudly. He patted his nephew on the back to make him start talking.
“Hello,” he bowed in his seat, then he resumed staring at Kyungsoo.
Her dad must’ve lost it.
“W-what.” She gabbled.
Her dad couldn’t actually be serious.
“You’re getting,” her dad and Uncle Joonmyun cheered, “married!” Jazz hands.
“Um,” she said. Unable to fathom. “Excuse me.”
Jongin 11.15
I’m getting married. 11.15
My dad just set me up with someone weird 11.15
THIS IS FUCKING FREAKY 11.15
Jongin I swear 11.16
KIDNAP ME AND MAKE ME YOUR RUNAWAY BRIDE 11.16
In the midst of texting her boyfriend, Kyungsoo could not sense her dad approaching from behind her. He snatched her phone away. “Dad!” she cried.
“No more talking to that bum.”
“He has a name!”
“You have my blessings to marry Sehun, and Sehun only,” Mr. Park singsonged.
“But-” Kyungsoo decided that being prickly wouldn’t make things work. Her eyes softened and she pouted. “But I can’t marry him, Dad. The only one I love is Jongin. He is one very, very fine man. You will love him the way I do.”
“And even more so is Sehun, Kyungsoo. You will love him the way I do.”
“Fine. So you love him.” Kyungsoo turned away and stomped back to the living room.
“YOU KNOW WHAT, SOHUN. GET LOST AND GO MARRY MY DAD.”
Kyungsoo slammed Uncle Joonmyun’s front door and swung his gate shut behind her. The men in the living room were panicking. Mr. Park pushed Sehun up from his seat and pleaded, “Go get her!”
Sehun ran like the wind out the gate, and the two lads sighed in defeat.
“Do you see, Dear Senior?” Mr. Park sighed. “This is why I need your help.”
Uncle Joonmyun did not reply. He was sorry for himself, too.
“Oh-” Uncle Joonmyun exclaimed as an idea popped out of his head. He took a cigarette case from his breast pocket and clicked it open, flicking through business cards. He found what he wanted and gave it to Mr. Park. Mr. Park received it with both hands.
“My favorite shaman,” Uncle Joonmyun explained. “I will drive My Beloved Junior there.”
Mr. Park looked at Uncle Joonmyun with profound hope. "Thank you, Dear Senior!"
÷
Sehun’s running footsteps pattered on the sloping asphalt road. “Kyungsoo!”
“Go away, Sohun,” Kyungsoo called as she kept walking.
“It’s Sehun,” Sehun corrected.
Whatever. Kyungsoo had no time worthless enough to spend on that Sohun kid.
“Yeah, Kyungsoo, it’s Sehun!” A girl’s voice chimed from even further behind Sehun. Kyungsoo stopped in her steps.
“What?! Not again,” Sehun cried at the sight of his worst, most desperate fan.
Kyungsoo turned slowly around. Eyes still glued disgustingly on that girl’s, Sehun said, “Kyungsoo, let’s go eat sweets.”
“Not with you,” Kyungsoo calmly replied, then resumed walking.
“Yeah, with me,” the girl cried to Sehun. She stomped forth to follow the hopeless two.
“Go away, Luhan!” Sehun said to the girl who had been waiting behind the lamppost and stalking them all the way from Uncle Joonmyun’s house. Sehun resumed chasing after Kyungsoo before she could disappear. “Kyungsoo! Kyungsoo, you’re very pretty.”
“I know,” she yelled to the road ahead.
“I'm pretty too, you know!” Luhan hollered.
“You’re as pretty as a sewer. Now go away,” Sehun replied. “Come on my pretty Kyungsoo,” Sehun pleaded, finally running to catch her. “Pastries. My treat.”
Kyungsoo stopped.
“What?!” Luhan cried.
Luhan, still steps behind them on the taller foot of the hill, watched Kyungsoo turn her head to Sehun. “A dozen macarons,” Kyungsoo requested smugly.
Sehun’s face paled, because his thrifty mind did not have 20k wons to spend on a small box of 20% sugar 80% air. Sehun inhaled a wheeze.
He nodded. “Yes, a dozen macarons.”
“I want a dozen macarons, too!” Luhan protested.
“GO AWAY, LUHAN, STOP STALKING ME.”
Sehun briskwalked to catch Kyungsoo again and Kyungsoo kept walking faster. Halfway up the hill, Luhan watched as they shrank into the horizon before finally following them again.
“Why is everything always about Kyungsoo. ‘Kyungsoo is so pretty,’ ‘Kyungsoo has really beautiful eyes,’ ‘Kyungsoo this,’ ‘Kyungsoo that’.” Luhan complained to herself as she ran down the hill. “Why not ‘Luhan this, Luhan that,’ ‘Luhan is the shining moonlight in this eternal darkness, the only queen of my heart!’” she raised one hand as if reciting a poem.
Luhan was not ugly, oh, no, not at all. She was fair and her eyes bright, her frame as endearing as Kyungsoo’s; only with more bones and less mass. Unlike Kyungsoo, whose hair could be compared to that of Esmeralda’s, Luhan had beautiful, slightly wavy, well-dyed red hair. But of course, the vines of jealousy had made Kyungsoo everything Luhan wished she could be.
Luhan bumped into Sehun who bumped into Kyungsoo because Kyungsoo stopped right in front of the pastry shop door. She held the glass door’s handle and turned around. “Give that girl some regard so she could shut up, would you?” and entered the shop while leaving the two alone outside.
Kyungsoo looked up at the overhead chalkboard menu and inhaled the soft smell of sugar and vanilla. She had three minutes to herself before the love warriors came back to stand behind her.
“Hi, what would you like to order today?” the cashier smiled.
“A dozen macarons.” Kyungsoo said. “And a vanilla éclair.”
The cashier made Kyungsoo pick the flavors she wanted, and she ended up getting fifteen instead of twelve. When the cashier replied a grand total nearing 50k, Kyungsoo smiled and stepped aside to reveal a gulping Sehun and a wailing Luhan.
They sat down at one of the tables and Kyungsoo was itching to contact Jongin. If it weren’t for the so many perks, she would have regretted being born to such a walloping excuse of a dad. She needed to get her phone back now.
“Hey, um…” Kyungsoo said to the red-haired girl.
“Luhan.”
“Lu. Han.” Kyungsoo nodded. “I like you. Can I borrow your phone?”
Luhan looked at Kyungsoo in deep, deep suspicion, but gave her phone anyway.
"Thanks, Beautiful." Kyungsoo took the phone and offered Luhan her macarons. "Want some?"
"Screw you. You just want to rub it in my face, don't you?" Luhan shot Kyungsoo a dirty look and leaned back on her seat. When she looked away, her expressions changed. "If only it worked like that. If only you could literally smother just a little bit of that perfectness to my face." Luhan started a brand new paragraph of I-envy-Kyungsoo while Kyungsoo busied herself with using Luhan's phone to send Jongin (ay, bae) a supposedly seductive selca of her eating vanilla éclair (thinking about you).
Kyungsoo gave Luhan's phone back with a wink and a smooch, before wiping the cream and frosting from all over her face. The girls turned heads when Sehun's phone suddenly rang.
Sehun answered the call, and they watched his side of the extremely long conversation (that only consisted of four yes's) until he hung up.
"Let's head back. Your dad and Uncle Joonmyun asked for you," Sehun informed Kyungsoo.
"Why isn't your uncle looking for me, too, Sehunnnnnn?!?!??!?!" Luhan moaned in despair and slid further down her seat with a sad frown.
"They're holding us an engagement party, too."
Kyungsoo choked on her pistachio macaron.
"You know what, Luhan, come with," Kyungsoo said, taking her by the wrist. If it weren’t for the sneaker heels, the clicking of her footsteps would’ve echoed all over the patisserie.
They stopped by the toilet, outside Sehun's earshot.
"You know I have a very hot boyfriend and you know you want my fiancé that I don't want," Kyungsoo started. "Here's the deal: You'll come to the party. Have Sehun all you want. But that night, I'm gonna flee with my boyfriend, and your job is to make sure Sehun's uncle or my dad doesn't know. Okay?"
Luhan nodded.
"Good," Kyungsoo concluded. They walked back to the table, and Sehun was wrapping up for Kyungsoo.
÷
“Didn’t you say you were taking me to a shaman, Dear Senior?” Mr. Park asked when he looked up the levels of the talent agency building from the car window. They had left as soon as Sehun did.
“I am. This is the shaman’s office.”
“O-okay.”
They stepped out of the car and entered the building. It was an actors’ agency, Mr. Park learned though the movie and broadway posters on the wall.
Mr. Park followed Uncle Joonmyun and when he looked around, he spotted a hanging sign near the staircase. "Love Doctor 4th floor," it said.
"I see it, Dear Senior. The shamans are upstairs."
"Mr. Joonmyun!" A light man's voice greeted. "How nice is it to have you here!" The man and a person behind him, both clad in a t-shirt and training pants, shook Uncle Joonmyun's hand enthusiastically. "Congratulations on your nephew's engagement!"
“Ah, Tao! Minseok!” Uncle Joonmyun laughed and nodded to the following paragraph of small talk. Uncle Joonmyun kept up his smiling eyes, all the while turning his head to Mr. Park for once to make him go upstairs by himself.
Mr. Park turned around and walked up the stairs, all the way to the fourth floor. Unlike the first three floors that really felt like a theater company, the fourth floor was dimly lit and smelling of incense. It had traditional music playing in the background.
“Welcommmme~” the receptionist said. She was a scrawny woman with thin lips in a strikingly colorful hanbok. She waited for Mr. Park Chanyeol to speak. “We are happy to serve youhhhh~.”
“I would like to see Male Shaman Kim Jongdae, please.”
“Did you make an appointmenttttt~?”
Mr. Park shook his head slowly. “I-Mr. Joonmyun advised me to go here.”
“Awriiiggght~” The receptionist left her full table and bowed before she disappeared behind a shell curtain.
Mr. Park looked at the name on the table. Byun Baekhyun, co-owner.
The woman came back and escorted him inside. “Follow minggggg~”
Mr. Park took off his shoes and bowed as soon as he was on the same platform. “Hello.”
“Ah, the sorrows of having a beautiful only child,” the Male Shaman mused, sitting grandly on the cushion behind a low table. He looked disturbingly young in his Shaman costume, and even more, mischievous. Mr. Park flinched when the shaman saw right through him. “Please sit.”
Mr. Park sat down on the cushion across Male Shaman Kim Jongdae.
“I have some idea of what brings you here, but what, very exactly, brings you here?” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae asked, rubbing his well-combed beard wisely.
“I am in the middle of matching my daughter with my old lecturer’s nephew, but my daughter loves a man that I will never approve. Please make my daughter and my senior’s nephew fall in love with each other.”
“No problem at all.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae replied confidently. “Tell me, do you have pictures?”
Mr. Park looked at Male Shaman Kim Jongdae’s with wide eyes and patted all his pockets. He took out his black cellphone and he took Kyungsoo’s pastel pink one. He tried unlocking Kyungsoo’s phone, but to no avail. He sighed.
“It’s okay,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae said.
“M-my daughter is small and white, clean and bright,” Mr. Park supplied for the lack of a picture.
Male Shaman Kim Jongdae nodded solemnly. “Elaborate.”
“Extremely wavy hair. Big, shiny eyes. Plump lips.” Mr. Park stopped and replayed his words in his head and hey, they all came from his genes! “-just, very tiny.”
“Pretty vague, but that works for now,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae nodded.
“The mate is tall and strikingly handsome, with sharp features and broad shoulders.”
“Very well then. Doesn’t sound like too many people share those features,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae nodded. “Now that we don’t have any pictures or hair strands to do distant treatments with-”
“There’s-” Mr. Park started. Male Shaman Kim Jongdae gave him a listen. “There’s an engagement party me and my in-law-to-be will be holding.” Mr. Park wrote on a handy little notebook he produced from his pocket and ripped off the page to hand to Male Shaman Kim Jongdae with two hands.
“Very well.”
“All things can be arrangedddd~” Receptionist Byun Baekhyun squeaked, right by Mr. Park’s ear. Mr. Park jolted. “Session is finishedddd~” Receptionist Byun Baekhyun bowed to Male Shaman Kim Jongdae just to cue Mr. Park to bow and leave. “Follow minggg~” Mr. Park bowed and followed Receptionist Byun Baekhyun back to the front table.
“Our service would be 150 thouzangggggs~”
“Honey, would you stop?” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae called from his lair.
“Alright, Husband,” Receptionist Byun Baekhyun chimed, finally with a normal tone. She wrote the receipt and waited for Mr. Park’s cash-credit card-before punching in numbers. She smiled and gave the card back with a receipt. She took a careful glance to the shaman’s lair and whispered, “Thank youngggg~”
As soon as Mr. Park was out of earshot, Male Shaman Kim Jongdae gave a wolf-whistle, and his beloved minion scurried to the call.
“Xing,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae called and extended his hand to give the note. “You know what to do.”
÷
Mr. Park and Uncle Joonmyun were too busy managing preparations because they couldn’t hear Sehun crying over the consistent banging on the wall upstairs. Mr. Park had denied Kyungsoo’s utmost wish to go home from Uncle Joonmyun’s house, so he had brought half of her dresser in a few luggages up to Uncle Joonmyun’s family-guest room on the second floor. Sehun was crying outside the closed door and Luhan was crying pleading him to stop crying.
Inside, Kyungsoo’s hot boyfriend Jongin had sneaked through the gigantic windows to kidnap her, but they got distracted in between and became too busy fornicating on Uncle Joonmyun’s guest bed.
“Can’t Sehun just stop wailing,” Kyungsoo complained, leaning comfortably face-down on a pillow. “I can’t-uuuggh-concentrate.”
Jongin groaned very loudly behind her, and Sehun cried, “No! Noohohoho…” behind the door. Outside, Sehun was trying so hard to brush off Luhan, all the while still crying over not being able to have Kyungsoo.
“There’s no use, Sehun. She doesn’t love you. I do. Love me,” Luhan pleaded.
“I told you to bug off already,” he bawled. “I’m so gonna crush him to pieces.”
When Sehun heard footsteps up the staircase, he immediately wiped away any evidence of tears on his face. He was hiccupping, and it made him feel less manly, but he let it slide.
“Come on, Kids, let’s get ready!” Mr. Park announced. “You need time to get dressed!” He looked at Sehun and Luhan who were collecting themselves from the floor, and at the guest room’s closed door (and the noise inside). “What’s going on?”
Sehun swallowed the sobs. "They... They..."
Everyone upstairs heard Kyungsoo moaning along with a deep thud on the wall.
Mr. Park exchanged looks with Sehun and the uninvited Luhan and stepped up to knock very loudly three times before opening the door without a warning. It opened.
“OH MY GOD-”
Mr. Park was not ready to see his only beloved daughter literally joining hips with the one man he needed to eradicate from the face of the planet. He shut the door in a heartbeat and panted in mortification and fury. Now he could not unsee the picture branded in his mind. “God, god oh dear god,” he covered his face. Sehun and Luhan could only watch his cocktail of emotions. “That son of a bitch.”
He barged in again to see both of them at least decently detached and huddled under a blanket.
“Dad-you can do whatever you want, but please, please let Jongin come to the party? I won’t act out anymore. I promise,” Kyungsoo pleaded before Mr. Park could even start.
Mr. Park looked at Jongin’s face with rage.
“Marry Sehun, and that stray dog of yours can come tonight.” Mr. Park looked at the dresser and Kyungsoo’s luggage so that he didn’t have to look at the two in the eye. “I’m going to bring a hairdresser to you so no one can leave in the guise of going to a hair salon. Close the window.”
“C-can I stay too, Sir? Will Mr. Joonmyun approve?” Luhan asked with big, shiny eyes. “Do I look prettier than your child?”
Mr. Park nodded meekly just to shrug her off. Luhan squealed in joy. “Hairdressers should be here in half an hour.”
÷
Mr. Park and Uncle Joonmyun had that much power combined that it was full house in Uncle Joonmyun’s vast living room even with such short notice. On the sidelines, Male Shaman Kim Jongdae and his underling Xing were casually observing the bar.
“Ah, those people at the drinks counter,” Xing commented. “The servers are very good at juggling bottles.”
“They’re called bartenders, Xing,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae corrected, knowing Xing’s clumsy mastery in Non-Medieval Korean.
“Yes, they are very smart servers.”
“Bartenders, Xing.”
The bartender unintentionally elbowed a rock glass to the ground when he was doing a trick, making people turn heads at the shatter for a second before dancing again.
“Oh no, the server crashed the glass.”
“Bartender broke it,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae corrected again. “Come on, let’s head to the front.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae shoved into Xing’s hand a glass of margarita spiked with his potent love juice. He still had dose after dose in his pockets if things happened to go awry. “Now help me and find the guy we’re looking for: tall, handsome, sharp features, broad shoulders.”
Xing innocently walked wherever his boss pushed him.
“Found him, Boss.” Xing exclaimed when he saw a tall, handsome young man with broad shoulders looking out Uncle Joonmyun’s backyard. Some good steps away from him was a red-haired girl in white heels.
“Good. Poor girl must be so done with all the mean things he’s done to her.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae put an arm around his minion and gave the drink another dose of potion for good measure. “Now go.”
Xing walked forward and watched as his target entered the restroom. He looked at his wide cup and realized that he couldn’t offer a drink if the person’s in the bathroom, so he waited outside the pretty barren aisle.
“Yo, Man,” Xing greeted as soon as the fine young man walked out of the restroom. The fine young man looked at him in suspicion, but politely nodded anyway. “I got margarita for you.”
The fine young man immediately gave Xing an extremely freaked-out look.
“Uh-courtesy of your… uh… in-law to be! He told me to give it to you. You know, a nice, diplomatic gesture.”
They walked back to the patio and the fine young man accepted the margarita with doubt, although not remembering about to have an in-law that liked him-or any in-laws at all. Maybe Mr. Park had a change of heart. He looked out the backyard and took a sip. Xing silently faded into the background.
“Mission accomplished, Boss,” Xing said to his not-so-futuristic-anymore droid gear.
“Good. You can come back here, get a drink or two.”
“Thank you, Boss.” Xing turned around and left the sliding doors by the patio.
The garden air felt wonderful to Jongin tonight. He turned his head to see Luhan, the goddess of his heart, with beautiful burgundy hair shining in the moonlight. He could not help but turn her around by the waist. “Ay, Boo,” Jongin whispered with the sexiest voice mankind could muster, sticking his forehead onto hers.
Luhan gasped and closed her eyes because she was surprised, and because Jongin was too hot for any mortal nonetheless. She did not understand what was happening.
“I'll be Burger King and you be McDonald's,” Jongin continued, eyes boring through Luhan’s tightly shut eyelids.
“J-jongin… wwwhat-” Luhan stuttered.
“I'll have it my way, and you'll be lovin' it.”
“What on earth-” she tried pushing herself away, but his hold was tight. It was as if she hypnotized him or something. She banged on her chest to no avail. “Jongin-Jongin. Aren’t those words only for Kyungsoo to hear?” Luhan peeked an eye open and Jongin was looking at every corner of her face. It was pretty hot, but it was really, really freaking her out.
Jongin lifted her chin and brought her lips to kissing distance. “Screw Kyungsoo. What is a Kyungsoo.” He leaned in and-
“Oh my god-”
The fear gave Luhan enough power to flee Jongin’s grasp and run back to Uncle Joonmyun’s living room. This was most probably the freakiest thing that could ever happen to her.
“Luhan, my goddess, don’t run away from me,” Jongin pleaded. He managed to catch up and softly take a lock of her hair to sniff it, because it smelled like a mountain of jasmines.
On the other side of the party, Male Shaman Kim Jongdae was sitting at the bar when he caught his target still running and pleading after Mr. Park’s daughter. “What the hell,” he mumbled. “Xing,” he whispered.
“Yes, Boss?”
“Did you not give the potion to our target?”
“The tall, handsome, broad-shouldered man? Yes, I did, Boss.”
“Then why isn’t he with the red-haired girl goddammit!”
"I thought our target was supposed to be with Mr. Park's daughter."
"Well yeah but--he's been such a prick to the poor redhead, cut her some slack." Male Shaman Kim Jongdae finished his glass of water and rose from his seat and pulled Xing with him. "Come on, we got some shit to do."
Not too far from Sehun’s quest for Kyungsoo was Jongin’s new quest for Luhan. When the tired and pissed Kyungsoo finally stopped, the lovestruck Jongin was sniffing (or more like, licking) all over Luhan in an entranced manner. Kyungsoo was baffled, offended.
“K-Kyungsoo. I swear, it’s not me,” Luhan cried. “Jongin just-ew god stop licking-crowded all over me all of a sudden. It’s not me, I swear.”
Kyungsoo stepped forward and took Jongin’s face between her thumb and pointer. Jongin looked like a blobbing fish. She let go of him and slapped him the hardest a woman could. “KNOCK SOME SENSE WOULD YOU.”
“I have, unfortunately,” Jongin replied with amped masculinity, rubbing and putting a tongue in the red cheek, “which is exactly why I came to pick my Luhan over your ugly ass. I must’ve been blind when I saw you.”
Kyungsoo gasped at the insult, red glossed lips gaping wide. But then, she knew that being prickly wouldn’t help in this kind of situation. She pouted. “But she doesn’t love you, Jongin. You know you love me. You know I love you.”
Jongin’s eyebrows wrinkled. “What? No, I don’t,” he scoffed. He almost resumed sniffing about on Luhan when his Luhan was snatched away by an unknown hand into the sea of dancing people.
"Ey, I know how to hide from Jongin. Don't worry," Xing said, pulling Luhan by the elbow.
Luhan would have whimpered and yelped again, but somehow she didn't. Anything sounded better than a horrifyingly flirty Jongin.
Another mysterious hand took Sehun by the elbow and pulled him to the restroom. “You need to use the restroom,” the person whispered to his ear. Sehun sure was tall, handsome, and broadshouldered like that other guy-he wouldn’t really blame Xing for it, although he still would.
“I need to use the restroom,” Sehun parroted. Male Shaman Kim Jongdae waited outside the restroom when Sehun went in. Across him, Luhan was looking confused and enraged, still being held by his underling, Xing.
On the dance floor, Jongin was trapped with Kyungsoo, having lost track of where Luhan had went.
The lock shook and they knew Sehun was about to come out any second, so Xing brutally covered Luhan’s eyes and as soon as the door opened, Male Shaman Kim Jongdae shoved his potion into Sehun’s mouth, fighting all sorts of resistance Sehun was giving. As soon as Sehun gulped the fluid, the Shaman and Xing immediately fled the scene.
“Oh dear,” Sehun shook his head. “Where have I been all this time, my lady Luhan?”
÷
“Park. Kyungsoo.” Luhan screamed as soon as the person was within earshot. “Did you hire two freaks to pull a prank on me?” Jongin was sniffing and licking around her and Sehun was carrying her in his arms.
“What? No, I didn’t,” Kyungsoo denied.
“Oh yes, yes you did. Aren’t you so happy seeing me drowning in misery that this is all you wanted to do? Making the two men who love you pretend to love me? You’re such an awful excuse of a woman, Kyungsoo.”
“And how far better are you? Stooping for a man’s love, and now two?” Kyungsoo hissed.
Luhan jumped off of Sehun’s hold and took off some pins from her hair. “You really are getting too much.”
“Don’t waste your energy, Luhan, I can do it for you,” Jongin said.
“Over my dead body,” Sehun said, but to Jongin.
“Yeah?” Jongin scoffed, looking at Sehun in the eye. “As if this little girl isn’t enough of a problem already.”
“You said you loved me a minute ago and now you call me a problem?! Jongin, seriously. What is the matter with you?” Kyungsoo cried.
“The matter is when I was with you. Now that I have my Luhan, everything will be alright, and the world will keep spinning around.” Jongin answered and circled his arms around Luhan’s body.
“See?!” Luhan said, struggling in Jongin’s hold. “This has got to be all your doing.”
“I thought it was all your doing, your stealing my lover,” Kyungsoo accentuated with a tug on Jongin’s arm, “from me.”
Sehun used the opportunity to hug Luhan now. “My Luhan.”
“Hey,” Jongin shrugged Kyungsoo off to holler at Sehun. “You need a brawl in the backyard?”
The two tangled couples were starting to grow a crowd.
“They’re all fighting, Boss,” Xing reported, watching from the bar.
“I know,” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae whined. He wiped his face. “Dammit.” From the corner of his eye, he could see Mr. Park and Mr. Kim noticing the havoc going on in their party. Mr. Park left his place on the other side of the room to inspect the situation.
“Xing, go and handle Mr. Park.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae ordered. “I’ll take care of the mess.” Male Shaman Kim Jongdae leaped off his seat and dusted his neat suit before dragging Jongin away from delivering a fist to Sehun. Kyungsoo and Luhan, on the other hand, were already on an active hairpulling showdown.
“Let me go! Let me go!” Jongin called. They could not hear the girls quarreling about who wanted to make who more miserable.
Male Shaman Kim Jongdae trapped Jongin in a headlock while looking for the hourglass-shaped antidote bottle in his pocket. “You need to go back to your girlfriend, Kid.”
“Noo, noooo, I don’t have a girlfriend! I only have a lover that I love to the moon and bac-mffmrghrjf-”
Male Shaman Kim Jongdae let go of Jongin while the antidote took effect. Jongin was holding his head, looking squeamish and dizzy, until he shook his head with a, “Brlrlrlrlrlrl.”
“Where is my Kyungsoo,” he mumbled, cluelessly.
Male Shaman Kim Jongdae sighed in relief.
The speakers stopped playing obnoxious music and were broadcasting awful feedback screech. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Uncle Joonmyun started, “I would like to introduce the lucky two tonight. My dear nephew, Sehun, and…”
Uncle Joonmyun’s beloved nephew Sehun came up to stage with a girl that was not Kyungsoo in tow. She was thinner with red hair. Uncle Joonmyun had never seen her before.
“She’s the granddaughter of Seouldae’s current president, Uncle Joonmyun,” Sehun whispered to his uncle. Uncle Joonmyun lit up and asked her with a kind smile.
“Hi, Dear. What’s your name?”
“Where’s my kid?” Mr. Park mumbled, searching in the crowd.
Little did he knew that his daughter and her extremely hot, unapproved boyfriend had went back upstairs to drop one suitcase down the gigantic window and climb out of it, running away as far as possible into the horizon. The two of them laughed as they dragged the embroidered suitcase on the sidewalk with them.
Because runaway bride, no matter how old, still makes a great theme for roleplaying tonight.