titles used to matter to me more
The meds seem to be working, finally. I'm still tired, but I'm doing better with personal care, and I'm much better about not being a crazy and emotionally unpredictable wreck.
It's weird having regular emotions. I get sad, disappointed, upset, angry... but not wildly and irrationally so.
Exhaustion still happens; the depression and anxiety are only a part of the chronic illness. And when I'm exhausted, the emotions still run stronger. But it's so much better than it was.
Today, I am exhausted. Today I was tired, sleepy, all day. I slept from around midnight until almost one this afternoon, and I'm still tired. Still sleepy. It's grey and dreary out, which is likely a part of it; the oncoming cold weather is surely another part.
Today I went home after work only to gather a few necessities before going to the boyfriend's for the night.
Currently, I feel disappointed, abandoned, left behind, alone. Old insecurities resurfacing. But it's my own fault, for not communicating. "I want to come along," I didn't say. I put my shoes back on, my sweater and jacket, my hat. But I never said "I'm coming, too." "Don't leave without me." "Wait for me." So now I'm here, alone, feeling left behind. Ugh.
(Cross-posted from this entry on Dreamwidth. There are
comments there, please add your own using OpenID!)
It's weird having regular emotions. I get sad, disappointed, upset, angry... but not wildly and irrationally so.
Exhaustion still happens; the depression and anxiety are only a part of the chronic illness. And when I'm exhausted, the emotions still run stronger. But it's so much better than it was.
Today, I am exhausted. Today I was tired, sleepy, all day. I slept from around midnight until almost one this afternoon, and I'm still tired. Still sleepy. It's grey and dreary out, which is likely a part of it; the oncoming cold weather is surely another part.
Today I went home after work only to gather a few necessities before going to the boyfriend's for the night.
Currently, I feel disappointed, abandoned, left behind, alone. Old insecurities resurfacing. But it's my own fault, for not communicating. "I want to come along," I didn't say. I put my shoes back on, my sweater and jacket, my hat. But I never said "I'm coming, too." "Don't leave without me." "Wait for me." So now I'm here, alone, feeling left behind. Ugh.
(Cross-posted from this entry on Dreamwidth. There are
comments there, please add your own using OpenID!)