Memory of a best friend
I've been having these dreams. I never remember what they're about but I do remember that my co-star is Shalamar. Everytime I wake up I feel sad.
God I never thought that this would happen this way. I never imagine her ignoring me just to please the one guy.
Maybe I kind of deserved it becuase I never believed in their marriage. But I felt like I was losing my best friend when they first got married I mean I wasn't even a bridesmaid and that alone made me upset. but I put a brave front throwing all those feelings in a box. I mean if she was happy thats all that matters right.
So when she threw me out of her life it hurt and all I did was stuff it down and now I feel like crying. This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to go to a college in Florida together and meet Nsyns and fall in love. She with JC and me with Lance and be rich bitches all are life.
But one things for sure I miss her. She was the one person that truly get me. Sometimes I just want to go over to her house and just say hateful things other time I just want to go to her house and just talk to her.
I don't know I'm just very hurt about it and all these dreams lately makes me want to cry. And also I think she is the reason I've been on a writings block for months. She was my muse the one person that got me into writing in the first place. Maybe thats why all my peoms have been dark and angsty and I can't even finish five pages of a story............Overall I just miss that girl and wish that I could change something about how it ended up to be
God I never thought that this would happen this way. I never imagine her ignoring me just to please the one guy.
Maybe I kind of deserved it becuase I never believed in their marriage. But I felt like I was losing my best friend when they first got married I mean I wasn't even a bridesmaid and that alone made me upset. but I put a brave front throwing all those feelings in a box. I mean if she was happy thats all that matters right.
So when she threw me out of her life it hurt and all I did was stuff it down and now I feel like crying. This wasn't supposed to happen. We were supposed to go to a college in Florida together and meet Nsyns and fall in love. She with JC and me with Lance and be rich bitches all are life.
But one things for sure I miss her. She was the one person that truly get me. Sometimes I just want to go over to her house and just say hateful things other time I just want to go to her house and just talk to her.
I don't know I'm just very hurt about it and all these dreams lately makes me want to cry. And also I think she is the reason I've been on a writings block for months. She was my muse the one person that got me into writing in the first place. Maybe thats why all my peoms have been dark and angsty and I can't even finish five pages of a story............Overall I just miss that girl and wish that I could change something about how it ended up to be