Fuck It
Im so sick of feeling this way. I hate myself, i hate my life, i hate everything that pretains to me.. My life is shit. Right now im thinking that im not even going to step foot out of my room Saturday night, Why should I.. Theres no point to..
Now that i think about it i know that Josh will probably never go out with me.. Why was i so stupid to think he would actually like me in the first place.. Im just so sick of hurting and being hurt... Theres no point for me to even be here. Im just a discrase to my family.. I must be that one that always fucks up.. Look at ryan, yes, he screwed up in school but Hes doing great in life now, and will soon have a GrEaT gurl, Andrea.. I know it.. And im so happy for him.. I just wish i could be that happy.. I know whats going to happen on Saturday.. Andrea's going to bring her friend over, Josh is going to like her and they're going to hit it off.. So Why do i even sit there and hurt myself watching all this happen.. And i know it will because it always happenes like this.... Theres no point for me here saturday night, im not going to win any money, and im going to get hurt.. So I'll prolly just isolate myself to my room.. Unless someone changes my mind, thats were its set right now...
A night like tonight, is one I haven't had for a while.. A night where i cry myself to sleep once more...