(no subject)
Since i've been home for New York, I've realised that I've never been so lonely. It seems like Everyone has left me to die a slow pittiful death. Why? Why does it seem like everyone I've known and loved abandoned me. I dont get it, My life is slippin through my hands as if my whole life was a handful of sand. When i was home i felt so real, so complete. You dont know how good it felt just to be at starbucks with ryan, remembering EVERYTHING. Seeing kids i knew from Middle school just walkin through the streets being with their friends. I remember when i used to be able to do that. What the fuck did i do wrong. Why cant i be home. And what do i come home to you ask... DRAMA..
Isn't it just amusing to know that everyone who used to be your friends sees you as thier escape root when they did something wrong. It never fails. This is why i hate going away. Because everyone sees it as a advantage to spred lies,and rumors about me. Thinkin o she isnt here to defend herself this time. What would of happened if something happened to me while i was away.. Then how would all of you feel.. Mostly everyone wouldn't feel shit because i must not be that important to them if they treat me the way they do now, as a FUCKEN escape root to all of thier problems.
I really dont understand what i did in my life to be treated like this. All i've dont is been a GOOD FUCKEN FRIEND to everyone.... Someone fucked me over, I took them back in with open arms.. Maybe thats what i did wrong.. Maybe i shouldn't of let everyone back in.. Cuz i guess now they think it will happen every time.. And dont get me wrong.. Some of those choices werent bad. I have 2 or 3 GREAT fucken friends now. And I took them back after whatever happened.. But the rest of them all fucked me over and didnt care..
Im sick of all this shit.. Im not gonna be able to take it much longer.. Im gonna break one of these days, and maybe it will be for the best. And if you dont like me and dont want to be around me fine... I dont give a shit, just dont come up to me everytime you see me actin like your my friend.. So many people do that to me... and im gettin sick of it...
Atleast through life i'll know i'll always have one person throughout everything.. That person being Ryan... I hope...
Im sleepy.. So imma go to bed. Nite All Love you guys!!
Kristina
Isn't it just amusing to know that everyone who used to be your friends sees you as thier escape root when they did something wrong. It never fails. This is why i hate going away. Because everyone sees it as a advantage to spred lies,and rumors about me. Thinkin o she isnt here to defend herself this time. What would of happened if something happened to me while i was away.. Then how would all of you feel.. Mostly everyone wouldn't feel shit because i must not be that important to them if they treat me the way they do now, as a FUCKEN escape root to all of thier problems.
I really dont understand what i did in my life to be treated like this. All i've dont is been a GOOD FUCKEN FRIEND to everyone.... Someone fucked me over, I took them back in with open arms.. Maybe thats what i did wrong.. Maybe i shouldn't of let everyone back in.. Cuz i guess now they think it will happen every time.. And dont get me wrong.. Some of those choices werent bad. I have 2 or 3 GREAT fucken friends now. And I took them back after whatever happened.. But the rest of them all fucked me over and didnt care..
Im sick of all this shit.. Im not gonna be able to take it much longer.. Im gonna break one of these days, and maybe it will be for the best. And if you dont like me and dont want to be around me fine... I dont give a shit, just dont come up to me everytime you see me actin like your my friend.. So many people do that to me... and im gettin sick of it...
Atleast through life i'll know i'll always have one person throughout everything.. That person being Ryan... I hope...
Im sleepy.. So imma go to bed. Nite All Love you guys!!
Kristina