a little somebody
kwast is here. kwast is like, awesome and cool combined. kwast and i met cause she was dating this guy i was pretty friendly with. once i met her i wanted to much friendly-er with him so i could hang out with her. it got pretty silly. i knit her a scarf cause i was totally into her but then realized how that might look to him giving her such a fine gift, so i over-compensated by giving him a five disc dvd player. what?? who was that peter? what a crazy kid.
but so kwast came to visit me. that's pretty great and important to me. i try to visit her whenever i'm in the mid-ohio, but it's more difficult for her to come to me, even when i was in pittsburgh. we'd been putting it off for awhile and finally she was all like, no we're gonna do this shit now, which i loved. so her coming up here is wonderful and makes me feel great.
she's the only person i can cuddle with or touch without feeling sexual. that's pretty big for me. i'm all about my space and i hate it when people touch me without permission and i never touch even the people i want to cause space is important to me. but with kwast we can hug and be close and i can pinch her arm “flab” and it's nice and worry free.
we don't see each other all that much, a few times a year, and we don't talk on the phone, but when we're together i feel like we can talk about anything. it's easy for me to forget that i'm not alone and that i have people who are to close to me. and kwast is one of the people who i can really vent to, and honestly vent. i can admit all my follies and inconsistencies and she sighs and shakes her head and lets me know when i'm compromising myself more than what's okay. i need that in my life. i spend so much time at work doing my best not to show too much emotion, to not let the boys get hit with my own shit. and i'm just not close enough with my co-workers to let out this stuff. so here's to close old friends and windy evenings on the back porch.