I heard more than what I thought.
clickclickclick.
thats the most common sound ive heard this week.
the culprit? my computer keyboard.
its a bland past time for the most part.
but sometimes..just sometimes a meaningful conversation will be passed my way. and thats what keeps me here, figurativly.
I think she's just sick. For me, its gotten past the point of being pissed off, or worried, or anything like that. This feeling runs deeper, only its so close to the surface of my insides that it is always there. Never in my life have I been more perplexed about something. Never in my life have I questioned the meaning of happyness more. She keeps saying I just dont understand-and shes right. I dont. Ive never been lost in the black hole of sadness she has managed to lose herself in. I forget what it feels like to be a walking contradiction. Ive never felt completely alone. I dont know if thats my outlook on life or whether I just got the good hand of cards..but id like to beleive that I have control over everything. Thats probably why this is killing me. This, im afraid, is one thing i have absolutly no control over.
Someone. ANYONE. please step in for me. but more so for her.
"shes drowning in a puddle of her own desease"
all the smiles and good acting in the world couldnt make me so sure of this kiddo.
Trust is such a delicate thing. But lately, mine is building more and more in the places id least expect it to. And i think im getting the same in return.
it only took 3 conversations to inflate my mind into thinking this, two of which surprised the hell out of me.
thank you.
if you trust me, thank you. Youll never really know what it means, but you'll have a taste in my appreciation.
Oh, and I reallllllyyy need to start taking my own advice.
then I can really say tried & true.
i like that idea.
thats the most common sound ive heard this week.
the culprit? my computer keyboard.
its a bland past time for the most part.
but sometimes..just sometimes a meaningful conversation will be passed my way. and thats what keeps me here, figurativly.
I think she's just sick. For me, its gotten past the point of being pissed off, or worried, or anything like that. This feeling runs deeper, only its so close to the surface of my insides that it is always there. Never in my life have I been more perplexed about something. Never in my life have I questioned the meaning of happyness more. She keeps saying I just dont understand-and shes right. I dont. Ive never been lost in the black hole of sadness she has managed to lose herself in. I forget what it feels like to be a walking contradiction. Ive never felt completely alone. I dont know if thats my outlook on life or whether I just got the good hand of cards..but id like to beleive that I have control over everything. Thats probably why this is killing me. This, im afraid, is one thing i have absolutly no control over.
Someone. ANYONE. please step in for me. but more so for her.
"shes drowning in a puddle of her own desease"
all the smiles and good acting in the world couldnt make me so sure of this kiddo.
Trust is such a delicate thing. But lately, mine is building more and more in the places id least expect it to. And i think im getting the same in return.
it only took 3 conversations to inflate my mind into thinking this, two of which surprised the hell out of me.
thank you.
if you trust me, thank you. Youll never really know what it means, but you'll have a taste in my appreciation.
Oh, and I reallllllyyy need to start taking my own advice.
then I can really say tried & true.
i like that idea.