personal: 001
I've lived alone for a few months, for the better part of 10 months. I work overnights. I don't get the opportunity to interact with people too much. That can pose as a problem sometimes, so I made the decision that when my lease was up to move back in with my dad and stepmom to keep from getting depressed.
Let me just say that things with them haven't always been great. I used to have some things on here about that but I decided to delete it all, to wipe the slate clean, and I don't necessarily enjoy rehashing it but sometimes it's difficult because I don't think my dad gets it. Let's just say that he doesn't make compromises, doesn't change himself to get along with anyone any better. Or, maybe he does, just doesn't with me.
For the last year, I have been having a crisis because I was going to turn 25 and I'm single, never been married, not even dating and I feel incredibly unwanted some days. Which, okay, that may not be true, but when you live alone and literally don't get the opportunity to associate with people, then you feel that way. Not much can change that and it's extremely unfortunate.
So, choosing to move in with my dad was something that I did to maintain my sanity, possibly even my existence.
But he thinks he's "allowed" me to move back in with him as a favor to me, like he's allowing it so it will save me money and everything else when that isn't the case. It's something that I needed so that I don't become a shut in, so I don't avoid people, so I don't continue to hate myself. But the flaw in that plan is that no one could ever make me hate myself as much as my father.
It takes him 1 sentence to completely degrade me to nothing. And the problem is that he's been nitpicking, looking for things wrong or creating things when he can't find them. It isn't just with me, he's been doing it with my stepmom too. The thing about him is that he says what he has to say and the moment someone says something that he doesn't want to hear, he gets fucking livid and is "done with the conversation, doesn't want to do it anymore."
I mean, really, come on man, nobody likes hearing the shit they don't want to hear, but damn you can't spend your life trying to call people on their shit but ban the rest of the world from doing it to you.
It is what it is, but you know, he aren't a saint and neither am I. The biggest problem between us is that I've acknowledged that and he never has. I guess that's the thing, I have to make lenience, and I keep my mouth shut. I'm just trying to make smart decisions, not be impulsive and flee. I don't want to repeat those mistakes, but I just don't think that he understands he doesn't always have to have an enemy.
Let me just say that things with them haven't always been great. I used to have some things on here about that but I decided to delete it all, to wipe the slate clean, and I don't necessarily enjoy rehashing it but sometimes it's difficult because I don't think my dad gets it. Let's just say that he doesn't make compromises, doesn't change himself to get along with anyone any better. Or, maybe he does, just doesn't with me.
For the last year, I have been having a crisis because I was going to turn 25 and I'm single, never been married, not even dating and I feel incredibly unwanted some days. Which, okay, that may not be true, but when you live alone and literally don't get the opportunity to associate with people, then you feel that way. Not much can change that and it's extremely unfortunate.
So, choosing to move in with my dad was something that I did to maintain my sanity, possibly even my existence.
But he thinks he's "allowed" me to move back in with him as a favor to me, like he's allowing it so it will save me money and everything else when that isn't the case. It's something that I needed so that I don't become a shut in, so I don't avoid people, so I don't continue to hate myself. But the flaw in that plan is that no one could ever make me hate myself as much as my father.
It takes him 1 sentence to completely degrade me to nothing. And the problem is that he's been nitpicking, looking for things wrong or creating things when he can't find them. It isn't just with me, he's been doing it with my stepmom too. The thing about him is that he says what he has to say and the moment someone says something that he doesn't want to hear, he gets fucking livid and is "done with the conversation, doesn't want to do it anymore."
I mean, really, come on man, nobody likes hearing the shit they don't want to hear, but damn you can't spend your life trying to call people on their shit but ban the rest of the world from doing it to you.
It is what it is, but you know, he aren't a saint and neither am I. The biggest problem between us is that I've acknowledged that and he never has. I guess that's the thing, I have to make lenience, and I keep my mouth shut. I'm just trying to make smart decisions, not be impulsive and flee. I don't want to repeat those mistakes, but I just don't think that he understands he doesn't always have to have an enemy.