The long awaited farewell : Edited...
Dear Diary,
Where did it all go? What made it hurt? Who am I? Am I losing myself?
Why do I have all of these questions?...
Maybe because I don't have all of the answers...which I am starting to believe is what drives me to insecurity. It's an easy place to turn. Is it the past?...Could it be the present? The past is an easy thing to blame. But no excuse for inflicted pain. How could it be the present tho?...Everything is amazing. Maybe it's neither. I think I am starting to lean more towards fear. But is there anything to fear?...They say that the only thing to fear is fear itself. Could this be factual? Whatever it is...I would like to ask it to stop. To leave me alone. I did nothing to deserve this. What right does it have to come in and disrupt such an amazing connection?
But maybe it doesn't have the ability to let go of me...maybe I have to be the one to walk away from it. True, it is something that has hung around me for quite a while now...but I'd be much better without it. And I can't think of a better time to let it go than right now. There is too much at risk if I don't part ways with it. I have something that is worth all of the beautiful things that this life has to offer...and none of the negative.
Maybe it would be easier to let the fear go with a "Dear John" letter...
Let's see if it works...
Dearest Fear,
You and I have had a close relationship for a few years now. But have never been friends. Why is it that I keep you around and let you ruin things?...Have you become an addiction? I don't remember how you got here, but I know why you stayed. I was an easy target, I allowed you inside just as much as I let you invite your little buddies insecurity and doubt to come in and tear my world apart. I have been putting off this letter for a while now, because my way of dealing with you was to try and ignore you...to try and hide you. It took a very important event today to make me realize how much I need you gone. Well, you should know...cuz you were standing right there. I'm sure you were laughing the whole time. Truth of the matter is...it is not funny. I have the second best thing that has ever come into my life standing right in front of me. When he looks into my eyes, I know he can see you...I know he can feel you. It is not fair to him that you stay in my life. Truth be told...it is not fair to me nor safe that you stick around.
So today...I pick him over you. I replace you with him. He loves me...you do not...
He wants to stick aound for the good things. All you want to do is destroy. And if you were to hang around any longer, I do believe that he would never be able to see the good things that he is awaiting, because they would never take place. You will never make anything right. Especially the way he does. What you will do tho is take away his touch...the thing that comforts me most as I sleep. What you would like to do is take away his love...which is one of the most powerful things that I have ever felt. I will not allow this, for I am not scared of him. He is a beautiful person with honest intentions. His purity outshines the negativity that you inforce. It is time to say goodbye...So that I can enjoy the person that I love...and not fear any outcome that would be if you were to stick around. With this I will bid you farewell...and pray that you never return...For I have a bright future to look forward to, that hopefully includes the one that stole my heart not so long ago. The one that I gave my heart to willingly, only to have u try and rip it away from him when things were going wonderfully. I will tell you now that you will never triumph over him...His love is superior to you. You will not ever win...You have officially...lost.
I have chosen...Him...
Goodbye.
Buckcherry - Sorry:
Oh I had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I miss you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
This time I think I'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never to late to make it right
Oh yeah Sorry!
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry.
(P.S. This letter was written about pure fear...Not a letter to an actual person. To the one and only thing that has ever held me back...)
Where did it all go? What made it hurt? Who am I? Am I losing myself?
Why do I have all of these questions?...
Maybe because I don't have all of the answers...which I am starting to believe is what drives me to insecurity. It's an easy place to turn. Is it the past?...Could it be the present? The past is an easy thing to blame. But no excuse for inflicted pain. How could it be the present tho?...Everything is amazing. Maybe it's neither. I think I am starting to lean more towards fear. But is there anything to fear?...They say that the only thing to fear is fear itself. Could this be factual? Whatever it is...I would like to ask it to stop. To leave me alone. I did nothing to deserve this. What right does it have to come in and disrupt such an amazing connection?
But maybe it doesn't have the ability to let go of me...maybe I have to be the one to walk away from it. True, it is something that has hung around me for quite a while now...but I'd be much better without it. And I can't think of a better time to let it go than right now. There is too much at risk if I don't part ways with it. I have something that is worth all of the beautiful things that this life has to offer...and none of the negative.
Maybe it would be easier to let the fear go with a "Dear John" letter...
Let's see if it works...
Dearest Fear,
You and I have had a close relationship for a few years now. But have never been friends. Why is it that I keep you around and let you ruin things?...Have you become an addiction? I don't remember how you got here, but I know why you stayed. I was an easy target, I allowed you inside just as much as I let you invite your little buddies insecurity and doubt to come in and tear my world apart. I have been putting off this letter for a while now, because my way of dealing with you was to try and ignore you...to try and hide you. It took a very important event today to make me realize how much I need you gone. Well, you should know...cuz you were standing right there. I'm sure you were laughing the whole time. Truth of the matter is...it is not funny. I have the second best thing that has ever come into my life standing right in front of me. When he looks into my eyes, I know he can see you...I know he can feel you. It is not fair to him that you stay in my life. Truth be told...it is not fair to me nor safe that you stick around.
So today...I pick him over you. I replace you with him. He loves me...you do not...
He wants to stick aound for the good things. All you want to do is destroy. And if you were to hang around any longer, I do believe that he would never be able to see the good things that he is awaiting, because they would never take place. You will never make anything right. Especially the way he does. What you will do tho is take away his touch...the thing that comforts me most as I sleep. What you would like to do is take away his love...which is one of the most powerful things that I have ever felt. I will not allow this, for I am not scared of him. He is a beautiful person with honest intentions. His purity outshines the negativity that you inforce. It is time to say goodbye...So that I can enjoy the person that I love...and not fear any outcome that would be if you were to stick around. With this I will bid you farewell...and pray that you never return...For I have a bright future to look forward to, that hopefully includes the one that stole my heart not so long ago. The one that I gave my heart to willingly, only to have u try and rip it away from him when things were going wonderfully. I will tell you now that you will never triumph over him...His love is superior to you. You will not ever win...You have officially...lost.
I have chosen...Him...
Goodbye.
Buckcherry - Sorry:
Oh I had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I miss you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
This time I think I'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never to late to make it right
Oh yeah Sorry!
I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry I'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry.
(P.S. This letter was written about pure fear...Not a letter to an actual person. To the one and only thing that has ever held me back...)