OOC: RP Log Cloud and Leon
Who: Cloud and Leon
What: Talk of Rinoa, Fighting, Fluff, and Distractions
When: Friday January 25
Where: Leon's House
Why: Same thing we do every night... try to take over the world. Only not.
Also: Rated M for Mature.
Cloud had called Leon when he was about an hour away, just to let him know he was running on schedule as planned. He knew he didn't need to call if Leon was already expecting him, but it was good to hear his voice regardless. When he finally arrived in town, he stopped off at the video store and rented a couple of movies for the weekend then headed to Leon's house.
Since Leon had, in fact, been expecting Cloud's arrival, he'd left the reconstruction early and was now attempting to make a meal on the stove, since he actually had someone to eat it with. When he heard the roar of the motorcycle engine outside he glanced at the window and hoped Cloud could figure out to let himself in; he didn't want to make a habit of opening the door for him every time like a housewife, and his pot kept threatening to boil.
Did Leon lay down for a nap? Cloud wondered. He was used to Leon being at the door before he'd even got off of Fenrir. Shrugging, he got off and grabbed his things. He made his way to the door and before he'd even opened it he could smell something cooking. The scent became more powerful as he walked into the house. He shut the door behind him and took off his shoes.
Hearing noise coming from the kitchen, Cloud headed there, dropping his bag off on the couch along the way. "Smells good," he said as he walked over to eye what on the stove.
Leon glanced up at the motion as Cloud entered, the shrugged and turned back to what he was stirring. "I thought we could stay in tonight and eat real food instead of pineapple pizza." And chicken wasn't very hard to make. Though apparently any side dishes had to be closely monitored.
"Was the pizza really that bad?" Cloud asked. He leaned back against the counter, focusing on the moment and not the craziness of the past week.
"No," Leon said, glancing at him again. "But pizza isn't real food. Do you always eat like that?"
"I wasn't serious, Leon," Cloud replied. "Tifa cooks when I'm at her place."
Leon shrugged. "It was just a question."
Cloud made a small noise that clearly meant whatever. "And I gave an answer."
"You seem on edge," Leon observed, turning back to the stove.
"It's been a long week," Cloud replied - his tone apologetic.
"Mmm." Leon thought for a moment before asking his next question. "How did the Stitch thing go?"
"He went back with the little girl. Marlene and Denzel were devastated. Stitch being able to talk was the only thing that kept them from pressing charges for pet napping." Cloud sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
Leon only had a vague idea of who Cloud lived with and what kind of pet Stitch had been, so he didn't press for details about them. He did glance up again, though. "Are you going to try and get him back?"
"No, he showed up of his own free will. He belongs with the little girl that came looking for him. If he comes to me again, I'll take him in, but I'm not going to seek him out." He wanted to though. Cloud had wanted to follow the girl and that agent all the way home just to be able to bring Stitch all the way back. He'd tried to buy ownership of Stitch off the little girl - he couldn't remember her name, Lila or something like that - but she wouldn't take any amount of money for him.
Leon nodded. "How did he find you in the first place?" he asked curiously.
"He just showed up at the church one day," Cloud said with a shrug. "It's not the first time I've taken in someone that did."
"Oh?" Leon raised an eyebrow at that. "Who else have you taken in?""
"Denzel showed up there a couple years ago. He was an orphan suffering from Geostigma. I took him showing up there as a sign to take him in." Cloud shifted, doing his bed to hide his discomfort. He didn't mind talking about Denzel, it was the Geostigma he didn't want to get into.
"You never told me much about this Geostigma," Leon said slowly, eyes on the rolling food as he stirred and kept it from melding to the bottom.
"There isn't much to tell, it was an incurable disease that Aerith cured the world of." Of course there was a lot to tell, but he was going to try and get away with leaving it at that.
"Incurable?" Leon pressed. He motioned with his head at the cabinets for Cloud to set the table. "How did you get it?"
It took a moment for Cloud to figure out what Leon was getting at with the motion of his head, but once it did, he got out all the necessary dishes and set the table. "As in you just have to let it run it's course until you die because your spirit has over exerted itself trying to get rid of the things that aren't supposed to be there." He sat down once he was done setting the table. "It's not like it's a contagious disease. No one gave it to me. My body just didn't react well to being exposed to Jenova cells again."
"Hmm." Leon took a moment to think as he turned the stove off and removed everything from the heat, grabbing some pot holders to take them one by one to the table as well. He could tell Cloud was hiding something about it, but he wasn't sure how much the man would be willing to tell him, or why that was. "It's a spiritual disease?" he asked carefully.
"Yeah," Cloud nodded. He watched as Leon brought the food to the table, all of it looking and smelling good. He couldn't wait to dig in.
"Would it have killed you?"
Cloud nodded again. Was Leon not understanding the incurable part?
Sighing, Leon slipped into his own seat and reached for the nearest pot, indicating that they could both help themselves. "How long would it have taken?"
"There's no set amount of time. I probably didn't have much left though." Cloud dished up a plate of food and started eating immediately, hoping that maybe this would be the end of the conversation.
Verbally, maybe, but Leon continued to think about it as he ate. He'd faced imminent death before, of course, but a violent one, not one that ate him away from the inside out, and he didn't really like thinking about what that must have been like.
Cloud relaxed in the silence, enjoying his meal. He spoke up once to compliment Leon's cooking, saying the food was delicious.
Leon only grunted a response, his eyes on his food. He didn't cook that often; he knew he'd probably be much better by now if he did. But it was edible.
Upon finishing, Cloud added a little more to his plate, wanting seconds, but not wanting to wind up stuffed.
"You can have as much as you want," Leon told him, taking a little more for himself as well. "Anything left I'll just eat tommorow."
"I know."
"What movie did you get?"
"I got a couple of movies," Cloud replied. "A Knight's Tale and XXX. The second one is an action movie, not anything dirty."
Leon, who had raised an eyebrow at the title of the second, quickly lowered it again. "All right." He hadn't actually heard of either, but he'd watch them.
Cloud finished the last of the food on his plate and pushed it aside, not ready to get up from the table just yet.
Leon finished more slowly, watching Cloud from the corner of his eye. When it still looked like he didn't want to move he sat back in his seat and sighed, full and comfortable.
The silence was comfortable, despite the tension that lingered as Cloud wondered if the conversation on Geostigma was actually done.
Leon sipped from his drink, his eyes drifting occasionally over Cloud. "In no hurry?"
"Getting up means cleaning up." Cloud's eyes drifted over the mess of dishes from their dinner.
Leon's eyes quickly followed. He sighed again, this time in mild dread. "You're right."
"Do you have a dishwasher, or are we going to have to do these all by hand?"
"I don't have enough dishes to fill a dishwasher," Leon told him, then glanced at the table again. "...Usually."
"Not moving for a while then," Cloud replied. Leon had cooked everything, the least he could do was help clean it all up.
Leon shrugged. "That's fine. I'm full."
"We didn't get to talk on Monday before I had to rush out of here." Cloud studied Leon's face carefully, wondering if now was a good time to push or not.
Relaxed after eating, Leon didn't immediately pick up on Cloud's tone. "Talk about what?"
"About Rinoa."
Leon's eyes snapped immediately back to Cloud, his expression blank. "What do you want to know about Rinoa?"
"You said that you'd tell me about her and how she relates to you." Cloud didn't like that Leon's face was so expressionless right now. He had no way to judge whether or not he should back off.
Normally Leon would have looked away, maybe busied himself with the dishes or something, but this time he studied Cloud's face carefully, trying to discern whether or not he should talk. He didn't want to, but as long as he was doing this whatever it was with Cloud, he knew he owed him an explanation so that he would at least be able to see the implications of what they were doing, and why they probably shouldn't be doing it. After a moment he sighed, his eyes dropping down to the table.
"That's not very specific."
"How can I be specific if I don't know anything about her other than that she knows you from before and has icons of the two of you dancing and hugging? I don't want to make assumptions, but if you don't tell me, I won't have any choice but to. Well, or I could play the video game that Matt has that tells all about you, but I'd rather hear it from you."
The corner of Leon's mouth twisted a little in mild annoyance as he listened to Cloud get it all wrong. "Those icons are from before we even met. It was my graduation night and my friend Seifer was supposed to graduate too, and she came to see him--she was his girlfriend at the time--and decided it would be...fun...to force the wallflower to dance in the meantime."
"Okay, so tell me about after you met." Cloud was slightly relieved to hear that Seifer had been dating Rinoa. Maybe she wasn't the ex after all.
This time Leon frowned in real annoyance. "She was there because the headmaster hadn't been listening to her requests for mercenary assistance in liberating her nation from a ruling military force, so Seifer suggested she talk to him in person. The headmaster was annoyed enough that he decided to placate her by sending me and two others who had graduated with me--one a troublemaker and the other a transfer student. We left the next morning. We had no idea what our assignment was because he neglected to show us the contract beforehand." His frown deepened and he crossed an arm over his chest as he remembered, setting his other elbow on it so that he could rub his forehead tiredly. He remembered how angry he'd been over such a bogus assignment and glared.
"When we arrived in Timber we were met with two fools who led us to a...shack so that we could sit in a circle on the floor and deliberate strategic plans they'd construed in order to abduct the president of the army. Rinoa was the one in charge of the entire resistance faction, if you want to call it that. Instead of banding together and creating a formidable opposition to Galbadian rule there were several ineffective groups working independently scattered throughout the city."
Cloud frowned. So they'd worked together and not by choice. "And?" he asked, urging Leon to continue.
"And they were malinformed," Leon said grumpily. "They didn't have the manpower for what they wanted to do, and Cid knew that. The plan failed, the president got away, and we were all forced into hiding. Then she decided to try again when he went to deliver a speech at the TV station, only Seifer got there first--he'd come to help. But the president had unexpectedly employed the help of the current sorceress, and after Zell made a foolish remark that set the Galbadian army against every Garden in the world, she convinced him to leave the president and go with her. Which left us against the army. We snuck out the back."
As happy as Cloud was to finally learn something about Leon's past, what he was learning wasn't really anything to be happy about. His frown remained while his curiosity got the better of him. "Then what?" He wasn't going to stop pushing until he'd heard enough or until Leon refused to budge anymore.
Leon sighed. "We hired a sharpshooter and went after the sorceress herself, only he failed at the last minute, so I had to do it. She saw me coming. That didn't work either." He frowned. He wasn't going to describe in detail how he'd nearly died after falling off that tower with a long shard of ice beside his heart. "I woke up in prison." Again, he didn't add what went on there. "By then Seifer had been completely brainwashed and Rinoa was faced with the fact that she was the real sorceress, the other one had just...well, it's complicated." He sighed. "We were lured back to a Garden and Seifer put her into some sort of drug-induced coma. No one would help her, so I had to." He didn't add that that was the first time he'd wanted to.
There were holes in Leon's story, and not just the things he'd omitted - there were plenty of details that were fine to be left out - but things that didn't quite add up. "No one would help her, or no one wanted to help her, Leon? Did someone order you to help her?"
Leon fidgeted uncomfortably. Cloud had picked up on the one thing he didn't really want to explain. "We brought her back to Garden and were dismissed from the assignment. No one had to help her anymore. But no one knew how to anyway."
"So, you chose to help her, even though it's her fault you went through all of that?" Cloud wasn't upset, he was just trying to understand.
"Yes." Leon let Cloud make of that what he would. It'd been confusing, at the time, why Rinoa's lifeless face had bothered him so much when he'd hated her for needlessly risking his life just days ago. "I did some research and discovered the location of some advanced laboratories that might be able to help her, so I took her there." Here he paused and sighed heavily.
"Why go through all of that?"
Leon looked at him. He couldn't say it; he'd only been able to say it once before, and that was after Rinoa had forced him, after they'd barely escaped with their lives from the most dangerous situation yet, the adrenaline still ruling his system. He hoped his expression said it anyway. His feelings hadn't changed.
"Well?" Cloud asked. He was trying to read Leon's expression, and what he was seeing wasn't what he wanted to see. He needed to hear Leon say otherwise. Or confirm it. Or anything really. He needed words right now.
"Dammit, Cloud." Leon sighed heavily, his eyes slipping off to the side again so that he wouldn't have to look at him. "Why the hell do you think."
He couldn't look at Leon either, his eyes dropped down to the table. "She was your happiness?" Cloud asked, his voice quiet, barely audible. He couldn't phrase it any other way.
"You asked," Leon reminded him. He heard that undisguisable note to Cloud's voice and wanted to make it go away. "She taught me what I was missing--you have no idea what I was like before I was randomly assigned that stupid mission. When I gave in and gave up she looked for me and brought me back. She knew me better than I knew myself."
"I know I asked. I already thought it was the case. I had asked Matt about it and he said he couldn't answer, that I should ask you. But your story... it kept making me think that maybe I was wrong, but I wasn't." Cloud sighed. "I only wish you would have told me right off instead of not wanting to talk about it." He didn't add that he'd wished it hadn't been true because she was there on livejournal, within reach...
"And what difference would that have made?" Leon wanted to know. He crossed his arms defensively, unused to this vulnerable feeling he got from talking so openly. He was pretty sure what kind of difference it would have made, it's why he'd been so hesitant in the first place, but he wanted to hear Cloud say it aloud before he gave up completely.
"The difference would have been that I wouldn't have had to pry so much, Leon. You told me that I didn't know anything about you, but then you just wouldn't say anything. I can't change that that on my own without feeling like I'm invading your privacy. I know talking about the past hurts. I've seen your reactions to my past, Leon, it doesn't just hurt for me to dig it up, it hurts for you to hear it." Cloud wasn't sure his original point was still in what he said, or even what that point had been.
"I had to pry it out of you, too," Leon reminded him with a deep frown. "And you were even less forthcoming. What difference does it make when I talk, as long as I'm willing to?"
"How much longer would you have made me wait to find out about your past if I hadn't seen Rinoa commenting on your journal and started talking to her, Leon?" Cloud stared at him, waiting for an answer.
Leon glared for a moment before turning his gaze angrily away, fingers tightening around his arms. "That's not why I agreed to tell you," he admitted in a mutter. "That's just the first time you asked after I did."
"Whatever. I don't want to argue about this. I know you have to push to get things out of me, but dammit, Leon, when have I ever made you wait weeks before I answered?"
"It wasn't you, it was me," Leon clarified, glaring at him again. Then he dropped his eyes and added in an irritated mutter, "I've never told anyone that before."
"How? Didn't people know? Or dammit, there's more to this, isn't there?" The tone of Cloud's words conflicted with the way he delivered them. His voice was quiet, undemanding, almost defeated sounding. He couldn't believe he was the only one to have heard this.
"No," Leon all but growled, "and no. You seem under the impression that I'm a socialite, Cloud. I'm not. Rinoa and I were together until my world was destroyed, and the people around us knew that. I haven't spoken about her again until today."
"Oh," Cloud replied. He sounded completely subdued now, inwardly cursing himself for having forgot in his anger that of course people had known, but they were all destroyed along with Leon's world. "Sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean to be an asshole."
Leon just scowled. He felt anxious; letting Cloud know he was getting him second-hand meant giving Cloud the choice of whether or not he wanted him that way. Suddenly the dishes were looking like a suitable alternative, something to busy himself with, and he rose to gather them.
Cloud reached out and grabbed Leon's wrist before he could pick up any plates. "No. Go take Fenrir for a ride. I'll do the dishes." He would much rather go for the ride, but he wasn't sure he'd be inclined to come back tonight if he was the one to leave.
Leon frowned at him. He didn't need any alone time or he'd have made some, which meant Cloud did. He debated for a moment whether or not he should give it to him, wary and a little anxious about what Cloud would think when left to his own devices, before deciding that maybe he could use some time on the bike himself. "Fine." He twisted his arm from Cloud's grasp and made off for his bedroom.
Cloud stared down at his hand after Leon had extracted himself from it. He got the feeling that he'd just made things worse. He sighed and started to clear the table, putting away the leftovers and running hot water to soak and wash the dishes in.
Leon tugged his shoes and jacket on, snatching the key Cloud had given him from the bedside table before striding out the door and letting it close just a little harder than he'd meant to behind him. He knew Cloud would be there when he got back, but knowing it was only because he was taking his bike and suspecting that that was exactly why Cloud had suggested he did made it almost the opposite of a consolation.
Cloud nearly dropped a plate on the floor as the door slammed shut. He worked through the dishes as fast as he could, trying to calm himself down from the fight. He hadn't seen Leon in days and this is how he has to act? He wanted to make this work, he wanted Leon to want him, to not push him away, to let him in. He wanted to be able to do the same for Leon. Wanted to prove that he could make him happy, that Leon wasn't making a mistake. That neither of them were.
He dried off his hands once he was done, leaving the dishes to air dry in the dish rack. Sighing, Cloud made his way to the bedroom and plopped down onto the bed, burying his face in Leon's pillow, the scent calming him better than the dishes had. He needed some form of olive branch to offer when Leon returned. Something to say that he was sorry, that he really wanted to try, that he wanted to solve the problems instead of just pointing them out and arguing about them.
Leon spent his time on the bike pushing stray thoughts of Rinoa aside and preparing for the worst. Cloud hadn't reacted well, and he was once again reminded of why he didn't like to tell people this kind of thing about himself. But it hardly mattered. Not telling him would have been lying, and that was worse.
He gave Cloud an hour before pulling up along the curb again and letting the bike slide out of gear. He took his time climbing off and making his way to the door, wondering how Cloud would be when he saw him again.
Cloud heard the familiar sound of Fenrir pulling up to the house a half hour after he'd finished the dishes. He wasn't quite sure he was ready to face Leon yet, he still hadn't decided what to do and he didn't want to do nothing either. He considered feigning sleep, but the thought of tricking Leon like that when he was trying to make things better made his stomach churn. He sighed and decided to just remain where he was until Leon found him or he had an idea of what to say. It wasn't like he'd bothered to turn on the light in the bedroom, so it was possible he wouldn't be noticed right away.
When Leon didn't find Cloud in the living room or the kitchen he assumed he'd gone on a walk, which didn't calm his nerves, which was stupid. He'd known this might happen with Cloud since that first night, when he'd decided to try anyway. He moved back to the living room and snagged the book he'd started the day before off the table before collapsing on the couch. It took him a while, but he finally managed to force his mind to focus on it.
Unsure of how much time had passed since he heard Leon come in, Cloud was growing anxious. He couldn't just lay there waiting for Leon to come back to the bedroom, that might not be for another couple of hours, especially if Leon believed that Cloud wasn't in the house - a thought which had only just occurred to him. He took in one last deep breath, Leon's scent filling his nose, before standing up and making his way out to the living room. He didn't say anything at first, just went and sat down next to Leon, not even bothering with the pretense of sitting on the other side of the couch.
Leon looked up from his book in surprise, though his face didn't really show it. "You're here."
"Of course I am." Cloud looked over at the book, not quite ready to look Leon in the eyes. "I reacted badly earlier. I'm sorry. It's been a tough week and I don't mean that as an excuse, just an explanation."
"What happened?" Leon didn't mind shifting the conversation away from him.
"Stitch happened and that wasn't so bad. It sucked, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I'm taking Marlene and Denzel to pick out a dog soon. I know a new pet won't replace Stitch, but I think that it might be nice for them to have." Cloud looked down at his hands before continuing. "Aerith contacted me Wednesday night. Some bad things that I'm not entirely clear on went down. Something about she had gone crazy and wanted to kill people and Zack tried to stop her and then... it really doesn't make sense. But when she went back to normal, Zack was in a coma or something. The doctor said he was perfectly fine though, but Aerith couldn't get him to wake up. I went to see them last night."
"How was he?"
"He was human. Alive. He's been dead for years. He's been a spirit and now he's flesh again. It was weird. And then he woke up while I was there. He didn't remember me. Didn't remember Aerith. Last thing he remembered was something that happened just before he met Aerith." Cloud frowned.
Leon frowned as well, setting his book aside as he listened. "Is that when he died?"
Cloud shook his head. "No, he and Aerith were dating before he died. He met me before he died. A lot happened between what he remembers and when he died."
"That doesn't make any sense," Leon muttered, wondering if they were missing something. "Is he fine otherwise?"
"I know it doesn't make any sense. Aerith and I neither one can figure it out. He's completely healthy otherwise. A bruise and a few scratches, but otherwise fine. I'm just glad it's nothing Mako related."
Leon nodded, his eyes watching Cloud inconspicuously in search of any sign that he was really worried or uneasy. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know, if we knew what was causing it, I could possibly help, but we don't know anything other than that his being human and the memory loss could have something to do with each other, but even that doesn't make sense."
"No, it doesn't," Leon agreed. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Any idea if it's permanent?"
Cloud shook his head. "I have no clue. I'm not even sure I want it to not be. I mean, I want him to get his memories back. I just don't know about the human thing - if I want him to change back or not. I don't know how that's going to affect him and Aerith's relationship. But I want him to get his memories back. I don't even know where or what I'd be if he and I had never met."
At that Leon frowned again. "That's neither here nor there, so don't bring it up needlessly. He's safe for now, isn't he? And capable of making new memories?"
"Yes, he's safe and it seems like he is." Cloud sighed and sunk back into the couch cushion. He couldn't help overthinking things. He tried not to, but more often than not it wasn't until he'd already overthought that he even became aware that he was doing it.
"Then don't worry about it right now," Leon told him, watching. "Think about something else. There's nothing you can do."
Cloud nodded, but wasn't sure how to stop thinking about something. Actively trying to not think of something only made you think about it more. "Distract me?" he asked, looking Leon in the eyes.
The first idea that flew through Leon's mind at those words make him blush, but he forced himself not to look away again, and after a moment he found he couldn't. He hesitated briefly, then firmed his resolve and leaned in to press his lips lightly against Cloud's.
Closing his eyes, Cloud leaned into the kiss to assert that it was in fact welcome, but wanting to see what Leon would do next. Part of him wanted to pull back laughing and tell Leon that this wasn't what he'd meant, but the fact that Leon was making the first move was something he didn't want to interrupt.
Leon lifted a hand to brush his fingers against the hair beneath Cloud's ear, his own eyes slipping closed. He was only half focused on distracting him now, most of his attention on deepening the kiss.
After a minute or two, Cloud pulled back from the kiss and ran his hand along Leon's cheek. "Thanks. That wasn't what I meant, when I had asked, but it was a good alternative." He leaned in and brushed his lips across Leon's teasingly before adding, "If we're going to continue this we should move or pull out the sofa bed so we don't have a repeat of last time with not wanting to move."
Leon felt his cheeks heat. He pulled back, nodding, and looked around himself both to ponder Cloud's choice and to avoid looking at him. "Do you want to watch one of the movies tonight?"
"We can watch one now or watch them both tomorrow. I can't promise we'll actually see all of whichever one we watch tonight though." Cloud blushed he wasn't so worked up that he couldn't do something else for a while, but there was no telling what could happen if they watched a movie while sitting next to each other as opposed to opposite sides of the couch.
That was actually the reason Leon had asked, and he debated the pros and cons of settling in next to Cloud for a movie with skipping all the preamble and taking him straight to bed. Both sounded...good. He glanced at the blond. "What do you want to do?"
"I'd prefer to see the movie," Cloud paused, "all the way through."
Leon paused. "...Right now?"
"No, tomorrow," Cloud replied, smiling slightly.
Leon caught on quickly after that and rose to his feet, waiting for Cloud to do the same. "Okay."
Cloud stood up and headed toward the bedroom, knowing Leon was right behind him.
He was, his eyes drifting over Cloud's form as they walked. As soon as they entered the bedroom he kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket.
Cloud climbed onto the bed, not bothering to pull back the covers, they could take care of that later. He looked over at Leon, locking eyes with him.
Leon's breath quickened, and in a couple quick strides he'd closed the distance between them and leaned over to kiss Cloud firmly, an arm bracing itself against the bed so that he could stay momentarily upright.
Allowing his eyes to drift closed, Cloud placed his hand on Leon's cheek and deepened the kiss.
Leon made a soft, pleased sound and leaned further over the bed, bringing his knee up so that he could climb on top as well.
Sliding his hand down Leon's neck, Cloud reached for his shirt and pulled him closer. It was strange to think that less than a month ago when he'd first come into this room to sleep, they'd slept on opposite sides of the bed and the thought of what they were doing right now hadn't crossed their minds.
Leon came willingly, crawling all the way up next to Cloud and curling a hand around the back of his head to tangle his fingers in the hair there. He started to gently ease him backwards onto the bed.
There was something nice about not being in a rush. Something nice about this not being all hormones, though given a bit of time that could change. Cloud moaned quietly as his head landed on the pillow, his eyes flickering open to look up at Leon.
Leon settled over him comfortably, meeting Cloud's eyes as he paused briefly and brushed their lips together gently. He didn't quite know where they were going with this, when he wasn't caught up in the heat of the moment, but he liked taking his time too.
Cloud pulled Leon down until their bodies were pressed comfortably together. Plying Leon's lips apart, he slid his tongue past them, slowly exploring the inside of his mouth. He closed his eyes again and moaned into Leon's mouth, his fingers running through his hair and down along his spine.
Leon shivered, a soft moan escaping his throat as he opened his mouth for Cloud and met his tongue with his own. His eyes slid closed again as he relaxed on top of him. They needed to do this more often.
After several minutes of kissing like this, steadily breathing through his nose, Cloud broke the kiss and took a deep breath. He looked up at Leon and smiled. "This feels good," he said, then froze, realizing that might not have been the best choice in words given what he and Leon had initially argued about when it came to Cloud's relationships. Quickly, before Leon could react, he added, "Mmm, no, this more than feels good. You. Us. I want to make this work." He blushed as the words left his mouth.
For a moment Leon didn't understand why Cloud had frozen, then blabbed a quick correction to his earlier statement. Then the pieces clicked and he laughed. "Do you really think I would still be doing this with you if I thought that was all you were doing?"
"No," Cloud whispered, the blush spreading further. "I... we fight over stupid things sometimes and I didn't want this to be one of them."
"I've fought over stupider," Leon told him. He brushed their lips together again, detecting a hint of real uneasiness half-hidden beneath Cloud's embarrassment, and brushed some blond hair out of his eyes. "What exactly are you worried about?"
"I haven't ever done this before. A real relationship. I mean, there was Kadaj, but that... he was trying to control me, so I don't think it can really count, even if I really cared about him." Cloud focused his eyes away from Leon's, still looking at his face, but worried about what he'd see when bringing up Kadaj. "I don't want to mess this up."
"Hmm." Leon thought for a moment, his eyes studying Cloud's face. He knew what he meant, but by now he also knew that they were past that stage. Or he thought they were, anyway. "Is it a real relationship if it doesn't feel good too?"
"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, confusion showing clearly on his face.
Leon chuckled at his cluelessness. "You're allowed to do it because it feels good, Cloud. As long as that's not the only reason."
"Don't laugh at me," Cloud said, pouting. Though he relaxed considerably at Leon's words.
Leon felt it, and he leaned in to nuzzle Cloud's pout, amused. "Quit acting stupid, then."
Cloud sighed and very nearly said that he wasn't acting, but realized that would be admitting he was stupid, which he wasn't. He was just dense sometimes. And it had nothing to do with being a blond at all. Still pouting a little bit, Cloud brushed his lips across Leon's.
Leon kissed him again, his lips still twisted into a smirk at the way Cloud was acting. "What? You looked like you were going to say something."
"No, I wasn't going to say anything," Cloud replied, shaking his head a little too vigorously.
Leon's smirk widened. "What were you going to say?" he pressed teasingly.
"You're smirking again." Cloud attempted to change the subject.
"I know," Leon replied, amused. "You're dodging me."
That had failed spectacularly. Leon was supposed to have denied it. Cloud decided that if he couldn't change the subject, he'd find other ways to distract him, like pulling him in for a kiss.
Leon chuckled against his mouth, but didn't press the subject further, knowing he'd won if Cloud was out of comebacks enough to physically distract him.
Cloud couldn't help but smile as he listened to Leon's chuckle. He resisted the urge to do a big I told you so over his ability to make Leon happy - because if this wasn't happy, Cloud wasn't sure what was. He parted his lips as they kissed, waiting for Leon to take the hint.
Leon accepted the invitation. He tilted his head for a better angle and kissed him thoroughly, taking his time and enjoying the fact that he could, still in good spirits from making Cloud all but sputter before.
Releasing a moan into Leon's mouth, Cloud wrapped his arms tight around him, holding him close. His hips rubbed up against Leon's as he moaned.
A muffled sound slipped from Leon's mouth. He pressed himself more firmly against Cloud and ground back, stomach tightening with heat at the sensation.
Cloud tugged at Leon's shirt, working quickly to remove it now that things were heating up. Tossing it off the bed he ran his hands down Leon's muscular back, his fingers tracing contours and sliding over bones.
Shivering, Leon arched his back into Cloud's warm hands, his own tugging up at the hem of Cloud's shirt. He grunted in annoyance when it caught on the bed and pulled back far enough to meet Cloud's eyes breathlessly. "Up."
Cloud shifted up at Leon's command, grunting as the shirt caught on his chin. His hair flopped back into place as the shirt was pulled away and he laid back down. "Mmm, down," he commanded, tempted to be particularly cheeky and add a boy to it, but resisted and left it unsaid.
Leon heard it anyway, and smirked a little as he lowered himself atop the blond again and brushed their lips together, pausing to brush some hair to the side with his nose. "Are you asking to switch?" he teased.
Leon's question caught Cloud off guard. Did he want to switch? Switch what? It didn't take long for the answer to click, causing him to blush. "No. I don't need to ask, either," he asserted.
"Don't you?" Leon asked, an eyebrow arching as he tried not to smirk.
"I don't," Cloud replied. For a split second he'd been on the verge of shock, but he quickly realized that Leon was just joking.
Leon snickered. "You thought I was serious." He'd seen it in Cloud's eyes.
"Hardly." Cloud pouted again.
Leon wasn't buying it. "You did. Were you going to?"
"No, I wasn't going to. Now quit distracting me, I'm trying to have sex with you."
Leon froze at that, the word throwing him off balance. He stared at Cloud with both eyebrows raised, trying to quell the surge of excited anticipation and nervous inexperience that rolled through him. "...All the way?" he finally managed.
Cloud nearly choked at Leon's question. "What? No. I... sex isn't just that." He didn't add that he'd never had anal sex, and that he still wasn't too sure about it, even if it had looked hot in that porn they'd watched last weekend.
Leon visibly relaxed, though his stomach remained tight. He sighed. "All right." It wasn't that he didn't want to--he hadn't even thought about it enough to really choose one way or another--but as appealing as it sounded, he wasn't sure he knew what he was doing enough to let himself try.
"If you want to, we can," Cloud said, misinterpreting Leon's sigh. "I just... you haven't before so..." Cloud tried to hide his nerves behind concern for Leon, though he doubted it was working.
Leon glanced sharply at Cloud, the blond's words startling him. "You have?" He felt a blush coloring his cheeks at what they were discussing.
"Er... no. Not exactly," Cloud replied.
Leon's eyes narrowed, but in a mix of confusion and curiosity instead of anger. "Not exactly?"
Cloud held up his index finger. "Just this." He could feel the heat in his cheeks, could feel it spreading throughout him as he thought about trying that with Leon.
"Just--" Leon stopped as realization spread through him, and he blushed. "I didn't--ah..." He wasn't sure what to say to that.
"Yeah." Cloud wasn't really sure what to say either.
"Well." Leon struggled to come up with something to say. "We don't have to--today, I mean. We could just..." He didn't know, really, but he kind of preferred letting things progress on their own without any plans.
"Stop talking?" Cloud suggested.
Leon nodded. He liked that suggestion.
Cloud nodded, too, and pulled Leon in for another kiss, hoping that this time they wouldn't get distracted again.
It took a moment for Leon to get back into it, but he managed, eyes drifting shut as he sighed pleasantly.
Sliding his hands down Leon's sides, Cloud stopped at the belts, groaning over the fact that he was always wearing too many of them. Why couldn't he wear just one? He ran his fingers along the skin just above the belts, hoping that he could get Leon to take the hint and remove them himself.
Leon's stomach tightened at the light touch, and with a small thrill he realized why Cloud had stopped. He had to lay his forearm flat against the bed beside Cloud's shoulder and shift all his weight to it so that he could work his free hand between them and fumble somewhat awkwardly at the belt holding his jeans up, fingers struggling to undo it one-handed.
Breathing a bit heavily, Cloud spoke as he waited for Leon to finish. "They look good, but can't you take off the extras once you're home? They don't serve any purpose." There was a hint of challenge to Cloud's tone, wanting Leon to prove him wrong.
Leon glanced up at the blond with an eyebrow raised, the challenge not lost on him. "They could," he said slowly, then shrugged. "But if you really don't like them..." He returned his attention to undoing the main one.
"What?" Cloud asked, not appreciating being left hanging like that. His curiosity getting the better of him.
Leon shrugged again. "Nothing." He pulled his arm back, sliding the belt from the loops as he did so.
Too frustrated with Leon's lack of answer, Cloud didn't notice Leon pulling the belt out of its loops. "I'm not taking nothing for an answer this time."
"No?" Leon folded the belt once and balanced on his elbow to pull it tight in front of Cloud, watching his expression with the hint of a sly grin. "Can't you imagine a purpose or two?" He was more interested in Cloud's reaction than in any real intent to tie him up.
Cloud sucked in a breath as Leon's belt was suddenly in his face. His mind quickly jumped to what Matt had said, though he could have come to that conclusion on his own. "I can, but that's a bit extreme of a use to justify wearing that many all the time."
Smirking, Leon set it aside. "You just want to see me with less clothes on." He started undoing the remaining belts.
Cloud couldn't deny Leon's statement so he just stared at him tightlipped, waiting as patiently as possible for him to finish with the belts.
One glance at Cloud's face told Leon he was right, and he chuckled as he pulled the remaining belts free. "You're not a very good liar."
"That's not a bad thing," Cloud replied. Once Leon was done removing the belts, he slipped his fingers past the waistband of Leon's jeans in the back, sliding them slowly around to the front where he unfastened them and slid them down past his hips.
Leon couldn't repress a small shiver, his own fingers now tugging at the fastening of Cloud's pants. "No, it isn't," he agreed. "Lift your hips." He tugged down at his jeans.
Cloud did as Leon asked, lifting up until the remainder of his clothing had been slid down to his thighs.
Leon sat back so that he could pull them off entirely, then struggled out of his own before leaning over Cloud again and kissing him lightly.
Cloud shivered as cool air drifted across his body. He reached up and urged Leon to close the space between them, seeking to share the body heat. He ran his hands along Leon's back as he deepened the kiss.
Obliging, Leon moaned softly into Cloud's mouth as skin met warm skin. He let his fingers drift idly down Cloud's side, tips tracing the curvature of hidden muscles, until his hand found his hip and he curled it around, thumb brushing over the bone.
Cloud gasped against Leon's mouth, his hips bucking at the light touch. Bringing his hand down, he squeezed Leon's ass, using it for leverage as he thrusted up against him.
Leon made a startled sound, his hips buckling between Cloud's and his hand, and he groaned as he ground back against him.
Moving his lips along Leon's jaw, Cloud kissed his way to his ear, tugging at the flesh around his earring. He breathed heavily in Leon's ear as he continued to grind against him, his body eager for any amount of friction.
It was the sound of Cloud's heavy breathing more than anything that made Leon shiver and drop his weight upon him heavily, grinding back as the arousal in his stomach tightened.
A guttural moan fell from Cloud's lips as Leon ground more firmly against him. He dug his nails into his back and called out his name, urging him for more.
Leon felt his breath quicken, a slight sweat breaking out on his skin as he tried to gather himself enough to actually figure out something to do instead of this blind friction. He dragged his teeth and tongue down Cloud's jaw and throat, wondering if it would be all right for him to try what Cloud had done before.
Moaning, Cloud tilted his head, exposing more of his throat to Leon's mouth. His breaths came in quick bursts, his body arching, the friction of their bodies rubbing together nowhere near enough.
Leon listened to him, his own breaths coming in half-gasps now as the way Cloud was arching against him. The hand on his hip unhooked and trailed downward until it gently curled around his length, stroking slowly, curious to see what other reactions he could pull from the blond.
Cloud looked up into Leon's eyes, thrusting into his hand. His breathing had lost all sense of rhythm, ragged breaths and moans being torn from him erratically.
"Hyne," Leon swore beneath his breath. He leaned in to kiss Cloud briefly again, then continued his trek down his torso, determined now to at least try this, because he knew he would eventually anyway, and he was also kind of curious. He paused at Cloud's navel, kissing the skin beneath it softly as he looked up at him, wanting to see what he thought of this before he actually did it.
Cloud didn't really process what Leon was doing, or rather about to do until he saw eyes looking up at him from his waist. "Please," he half whispered, encouraging Leon to continue.
Leon's stomach twisted and he nodded, scooting down the last little bit to swipe his tongue flat across the head of Cloud's cock. He hadn't given himself a chance to pause or hesitate on purpose and he did the same now, ignoring the odd taste and bringing his lips down over the head to suck gently.
It took everything in him to not buck up into Leon's mouth. He remembered how nervous he'd been the first time and could imagine how nervous Leon was. Cloud wanted Leon to enjoy this, so he stilled himself as best he could, his hips twitching slightly with the urge to thrust. One hand worked its way into Leon's hair, rubbing his scalp encouragingly. "Leon..." he choked out around a moan.
"Mmm," Leon replied around him, and he hoped it had the same effect on Cloud that it'd had on him before. He began bobbing his head up and down slowly, shoving any stray thoughts about what he was doing from his mind so that he could concentrate on just this instead, and twisted his hand along what he couldn't reach at the bottom.
Cloud moaned and arched back, his hips bucking slightly when Leon hummed around him. His hand tightened in Leon's hair and he tugged at it as he bit back another moan, struggling to keep from coming just yet. Leon's mouth felt so good and he wanted to feel it for as long as possible. He just wasn't sure he could last much longer.
Leon felt a smirk twist at his lips as Cloud tugged, sure now that he was doing it right. He sucked harder, rubbing the flat of his tongue against the length of him as he moved his head, and wondered just how close he was. Listening to him moan and arch like this was feeding his arousal as well.
Cloud gasped as Leon's tongue rubbed firmly against him, everything more intense than it had been a moment ago. "You sure you haven't done this before?" He arched again, thrusting his hips several times as he came, his hand tugging Leon's hair hard.
Leon made a small sound as he struggled to catch the sudden onslaught, pulling back so that he had more room in his mouth after the initial burst escaped from the corner. When he was sure Cloud was finished he licked until he couldn't taste anymore and the pulled back, meeting his eyes breathlessly as he swiped at the bit on his lips and licked that from his finger as well. "Why, did it seem like I did?"
"Uh, yeah," Cloud murmured, his hand sliding down to Leon's neck. He urged Leon to move up again, pressing their lips together once he could. He could taste himself on Leon's tongue and it sent a shiver down his spine. He hadn't expected that Leon would be ready to try this so soon, but he was certainly not complaining.
Leon chuckled, pleased with the sated look he knew he'd placed on Cloud's face. He nuzzled his chin gently, trying to control his own breathing until Cloud had a chance to calm down again. "Mmm, good," he murmured against the skin there. "I tried."
"You were great." Cloud ran his fingers through Leon's hair as he tried to gain control of his breathing again.
Leon smiled in relief against the bottom of Cloud's jaw. He hadn't been aware that he was worried, but hearing confirmation that he'd done all right made him relax.
Gently, Cloud pushed Leon until he was laying flat on his back. He slid down the bed and between his legs, his mouth overing just over Leon's neck. He began to slowly kiss his way down the expanse of skin, his tongue tracing over well defined muscles, twirling teasingly around his nipples. Lower and lower he went until his tongue was tracing a circle around Leon's navel, his hand wrapping around his cock and stroking.
Leon released a long, low groan, his hips shifting on the bed to make himself more comfortable in anticipation for what Cloud was doing.
Cloud glanced up once at Leon before turning his attention back to kissing his skin, sinking lower, his head poised just above Leon's cock. He licked his way from base to tip, swirling his tongue around the head before taking it into his mouth, his lips wrapping tightly around. He began to slowly bob up and down, taking in a little more of the length each time.
Leon's breathing doubled, his hips twitching with the effort not to arch them. "Cloud," he moaned under his breath, hand reaching out to tangle in his hair.
Cloud continued to take in more until his lips met his fingers. He glanced up at Leon before releasing his pinky from his thumb's hold, his hand sliding down a finger's width. Cloud once again met his fingers with his lips.
Leon grunted, his mouth open now as he panted for breath. "Don't stop," he complained softly.
Cloud moaned and released another finger, another finger's width entering his mouth instead of being stroked by his hand. There wasn't much left to go, but he knew that last little distance was going to be the most difficult to take in. He moaned again and let out a deep breath in an attempt to dispel the nervousness over what he was about to do.
Leon's breath picked up again as he realized why Cloud was taking his time. He swallowed thickly, his fingers tightening in his hair. "Can you even...I mean, you don't have to..." As appealing as the idea sounded, he didn't want Cloud to hurt himself.
He shrugged. Cloud wasn't positive he could do this, but he wanted to try. If it was too much he could always go back to a combination of hand and mouth. He released another finger and very slowly moved down until his lips met the remaining finger. He groaned around the length, frozen in place. This was no time to clam up, and after a moment he was bobbing up and down again, his mouth not quite making it all the way down again as he built up a steady rhythm.
Leon struggled not to move, though his hips ached to thrust up. His hands tightened and loosed in Cloud's hair, and he wondered how much longer he could hold on.
Releasing his hold on Leon's cock, Cloud moved his hands to grip Leon's hips, holding them firmly in place. He was not going to have this ruined by choking. He relaxed his throat and took in the last remaining bit, the head causing a weird tickle in the back of his throat. He breathed through his nose, trying to keep calm, trying to keep from gagging.
Leon whimpered softly, his fingers now tightening in Cloud's shoulders. He choked out Cloud's name and tried to hold off coming until Cloud was in a more comfortable position.
Cloud pulled back about halfway, not trusting he could make it all the way down again if he came all the way up. He rubbed his tongue along the flesh as he made his way back down, sucking firmly.
Leon stiffened and came, unable to hold back any longer. He squeezed his eyes shut and struggled to control his panting. He didn't know what had given Cloud an idea like that, but surely he'd known he wouldn't last long.
Cloud's lips had just brushed against skin and hair, the weird tickle returning when Leon came. He swallowed as quickly as he could, very little spilling onto his tongue. He slowly pulled back until his mouth was empty again and looked up at Leon. His cheeks were flushed with color and he was panting as he climbed back up the bed to collapse next to Leon.
Leon draped an affectionate arm around Cloud's waist and tugged him close, curling up with him on his side. "Are you all right?"
Resting his head against Leon's chest, Cloud nodded. "I'm fine." He breathed heavily, slowly falling into a steady rhythm of breathing. He brushed a hand across Leon's shoulder, pulling himself closer against him.
Leon brushed his lips along Cloud's forehead, shifting closer with a soft sigh. "Okay."
"Why did you think I wouldn't be?" Cloud asked, his eyes drifting closed and his breath warm against Leon's chest.
Leon shrugged a little. "I don't know. I just wanted to make sure." His fingers drifted up and down Cloud's back lazily.
"Mmm, okay," he murmured. He wasn't even sure what time it was, but he was tired, the long week catching up to him in his sated state. "We're still on top of the... blankets," Cloud said, yawning just before he got to the last word.
Realizing he was right, Leon pulled back to drag the blankets back for them, then climbed in and held them open for Cloud. "Better?"
Once he was settled under the blankets next to Leon he smiled sleepily. "Yes, better." He yawned again and curled up, entwining limbs as he made himself comfortable.
"Good. Sleep." It was obvious Cloud was tired, and Leon could feel himself starting to wind down as well. He stifled a yawn against Cloud's hair and slipped his arms around him, keeping him close. It was nice that the sheets were already warm.
"You make me happy," Cloud whispered just before falling asleep.
Leon's chest ached for a moment when he heard that, and it took a moment to calm himself again. It was embarrassing, to hear something so obviously private, and a relief, because he'd been worried he was making things worse for the blond, confusing him further. Finally he settled down, burying his nose in Cloud's hair so that the scent could help him fall asleep, and sighed quietly. "I think you do too."
What: Talk of Rinoa, Fighting, Fluff, and Distractions
When: Friday January 25
Where: Leon's House
Why: Same thing we do every night... try to take over the world. Only not.
Also: Rated M for Mature.
Cloud had called Leon when he was about an hour away, just to let him know he was running on schedule as planned. He knew he didn't need to call if Leon was already expecting him, but it was good to hear his voice regardless. When he finally arrived in town, he stopped off at the video store and rented a couple of movies for the weekend then headed to Leon's house.
Since Leon had, in fact, been expecting Cloud's arrival, he'd left the reconstruction early and was now attempting to make a meal on the stove, since he actually had someone to eat it with. When he heard the roar of the motorcycle engine outside he glanced at the window and hoped Cloud could figure out to let himself in; he didn't want to make a habit of opening the door for him every time like a housewife, and his pot kept threatening to boil.
Did Leon lay down for a nap? Cloud wondered. He was used to Leon being at the door before he'd even got off of Fenrir. Shrugging, he got off and grabbed his things. He made his way to the door and before he'd even opened it he could smell something cooking. The scent became more powerful as he walked into the house. He shut the door behind him and took off his shoes.
Hearing noise coming from the kitchen, Cloud headed there, dropping his bag off on the couch along the way. "Smells good," he said as he walked over to eye what on the stove.
Leon glanced up at the motion as Cloud entered, the shrugged and turned back to what he was stirring. "I thought we could stay in tonight and eat real food instead of pineapple pizza." And chicken wasn't very hard to make. Though apparently any side dishes had to be closely monitored.
"Was the pizza really that bad?" Cloud asked. He leaned back against the counter, focusing on the moment and not the craziness of the past week.
"No," Leon said, glancing at him again. "But pizza isn't real food. Do you always eat like that?"
"I wasn't serious, Leon," Cloud replied. "Tifa cooks when I'm at her place."
Leon shrugged. "It was just a question."
Cloud made a small noise that clearly meant whatever. "And I gave an answer."
"You seem on edge," Leon observed, turning back to the stove.
"It's been a long week," Cloud replied - his tone apologetic.
"Mmm." Leon thought for a moment before asking his next question. "How did the Stitch thing go?"
"He went back with the little girl. Marlene and Denzel were devastated. Stitch being able to talk was the only thing that kept them from pressing charges for pet napping." Cloud sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
Leon only had a vague idea of who Cloud lived with and what kind of pet Stitch had been, so he didn't press for details about them. He did glance up again, though. "Are you going to try and get him back?"
"No, he showed up of his own free will. He belongs with the little girl that came looking for him. If he comes to me again, I'll take him in, but I'm not going to seek him out." He wanted to though. Cloud had wanted to follow the girl and that agent all the way home just to be able to bring Stitch all the way back. He'd tried to buy ownership of Stitch off the little girl - he couldn't remember her name, Lila or something like that - but she wouldn't take any amount of money for him.
Leon nodded. "How did he find you in the first place?" he asked curiously.
"He just showed up at the church one day," Cloud said with a shrug. "It's not the first time I've taken in someone that did."
"Oh?" Leon raised an eyebrow at that. "Who else have you taken in?""
"Denzel showed up there a couple years ago. He was an orphan suffering from Geostigma. I took him showing up there as a sign to take him in." Cloud shifted, doing his bed to hide his discomfort. He didn't mind talking about Denzel, it was the Geostigma he didn't want to get into.
"You never told me much about this Geostigma," Leon said slowly, eyes on the rolling food as he stirred and kept it from melding to the bottom.
"There isn't much to tell, it was an incurable disease that Aerith cured the world of." Of course there was a lot to tell, but he was going to try and get away with leaving it at that.
"Incurable?" Leon pressed. He motioned with his head at the cabinets for Cloud to set the table. "How did you get it?"
It took a moment for Cloud to figure out what Leon was getting at with the motion of his head, but once it did, he got out all the necessary dishes and set the table. "As in you just have to let it run it's course until you die because your spirit has over exerted itself trying to get rid of the things that aren't supposed to be there." He sat down once he was done setting the table. "It's not like it's a contagious disease. No one gave it to me. My body just didn't react well to being exposed to Jenova cells again."
"Hmm." Leon took a moment to think as he turned the stove off and removed everything from the heat, grabbing some pot holders to take them one by one to the table as well. He could tell Cloud was hiding something about it, but he wasn't sure how much the man would be willing to tell him, or why that was. "It's a spiritual disease?" he asked carefully.
"Yeah," Cloud nodded. He watched as Leon brought the food to the table, all of it looking and smelling good. He couldn't wait to dig in.
"Would it have killed you?"
Cloud nodded again. Was Leon not understanding the incurable part?
Sighing, Leon slipped into his own seat and reached for the nearest pot, indicating that they could both help themselves. "How long would it have taken?"
"There's no set amount of time. I probably didn't have much left though." Cloud dished up a plate of food and started eating immediately, hoping that maybe this would be the end of the conversation.
Verbally, maybe, but Leon continued to think about it as he ate. He'd faced imminent death before, of course, but a violent one, not one that ate him away from the inside out, and he didn't really like thinking about what that must have been like.
Cloud relaxed in the silence, enjoying his meal. He spoke up once to compliment Leon's cooking, saying the food was delicious.
Leon only grunted a response, his eyes on his food. He didn't cook that often; he knew he'd probably be much better by now if he did. But it was edible.
Upon finishing, Cloud added a little more to his plate, wanting seconds, but not wanting to wind up stuffed.
"You can have as much as you want," Leon told him, taking a little more for himself as well. "Anything left I'll just eat tommorow."
"I know."
"What movie did you get?"
"I got a couple of movies," Cloud replied. "A Knight's Tale and XXX. The second one is an action movie, not anything dirty."
Leon, who had raised an eyebrow at the title of the second, quickly lowered it again. "All right." He hadn't actually heard of either, but he'd watch them.
Cloud finished the last of the food on his plate and pushed it aside, not ready to get up from the table just yet.
Leon finished more slowly, watching Cloud from the corner of his eye. When it still looked like he didn't want to move he sat back in his seat and sighed, full and comfortable.
The silence was comfortable, despite the tension that lingered as Cloud wondered if the conversation on Geostigma was actually done.
Leon sipped from his drink, his eyes drifting occasionally over Cloud. "In no hurry?"
"Getting up means cleaning up." Cloud's eyes drifted over the mess of dishes from their dinner.
Leon's eyes quickly followed. He sighed again, this time in mild dread. "You're right."
"Do you have a dishwasher, or are we going to have to do these all by hand?"
"I don't have enough dishes to fill a dishwasher," Leon told him, then glanced at the table again. "...Usually."
"Not moving for a while then," Cloud replied. Leon had cooked everything, the least he could do was help clean it all up.
Leon shrugged. "That's fine. I'm full."
"We didn't get to talk on Monday before I had to rush out of here." Cloud studied Leon's face carefully, wondering if now was a good time to push or not.
Relaxed after eating, Leon didn't immediately pick up on Cloud's tone. "Talk about what?"
"About Rinoa."
Leon's eyes snapped immediately back to Cloud, his expression blank. "What do you want to know about Rinoa?"
"You said that you'd tell me about her and how she relates to you." Cloud didn't like that Leon's face was so expressionless right now. He had no way to judge whether or not he should back off.
Normally Leon would have looked away, maybe busied himself with the dishes or something, but this time he studied Cloud's face carefully, trying to discern whether or not he should talk. He didn't want to, but as long as he was doing this whatever it was with Cloud, he knew he owed him an explanation so that he would at least be able to see the implications of what they were doing, and why they probably shouldn't be doing it. After a moment he sighed, his eyes dropping down to the table.
"That's not very specific."
"How can I be specific if I don't know anything about her other than that she knows you from before and has icons of the two of you dancing and hugging? I don't want to make assumptions, but if you don't tell me, I won't have any choice but to. Well, or I could play the video game that Matt has that tells all about you, but I'd rather hear it from you."
The corner of Leon's mouth twisted a little in mild annoyance as he listened to Cloud get it all wrong. "Those icons are from before we even met. It was my graduation night and my friend Seifer was supposed to graduate too, and she came to see him--she was his girlfriend at the time--and decided it would be...fun...to force the wallflower to dance in the meantime."
"Okay, so tell me about after you met." Cloud was slightly relieved to hear that Seifer had been dating Rinoa. Maybe she wasn't the ex after all.
This time Leon frowned in real annoyance. "She was there because the headmaster hadn't been listening to her requests for mercenary assistance in liberating her nation from a ruling military force, so Seifer suggested she talk to him in person. The headmaster was annoyed enough that he decided to placate her by sending me and two others who had graduated with me--one a troublemaker and the other a transfer student. We left the next morning. We had no idea what our assignment was because he neglected to show us the contract beforehand." His frown deepened and he crossed an arm over his chest as he remembered, setting his other elbow on it so that he could rub his forehead tiredly. He remembered how angry he'd been over such a bogus assignment and glared.
"When we arrived in Timber we were met with two fools who led us to a...shack so that we could sit in a circle on the floor and deliberate strategic plans they'd construed in order to abduct the president of the army. Rinoa was the one in charge of the entire resistance faction, if you want to call it that. Instead of banding together and creating a formidable opposition to Galbadian rule there were several ineffective groups working independently scattered throughout the city."
Cloud frowned. So they'd worked together and not by choice. "And?" he asked, urging Leon to continue.
"And they were malinformed," Leon said grumpily. "They didn't have the manpower for what they wanted to do, and Cid knew that. The plan failed, the president got away, and we were all forced into hiding. Then she decided to try again when he went to deliver a speech at the TV station, only Seifer got there first--he'd come to help. But the president had unexpectedly employed the help of the current sorceress, and after Zell made a foolish remark that set the Galbadian army against every Garden in the world, she convinced him to leave the president and go with her. Which left us against the army. We snuck out the back."
As happy as Cloud was to finally learn something about Leon's past, what he was learning wasn't really anything to be happy about. His frown remained while his curiosity got the better of him. "Then what?" He wasn't going to stop pushing until he'd heard enough or until Leon refused to budge anymore.
Leon sighed. "We hired a sharpshooter and went after the sorceress herself, only he failed at the last minute, so I had to do it. She saw me coming. That didn't work either." He frowned. He wasn't going to describe in detail how he'd nearly died after falling off that tower with a long shard of ice beside his heart. "I woke up in prison." Again, he didn't add what went on there. "By then Seifer had been completely brainwashed and Rinoa was faced with the fact that she was the real sorceress, the other one had just...well, it's complicated." He sighed. "We were lured back to a Garden and Seifer put her into some sort of drug-induced coma. No one would help her, so I had to." He didn't add that that was the first time he'd wanted to.
There were holes in Leon's story, and not just the things he'd omitted - there were plenty of details that were fine to be left out - but things that didn't quite add up. "No one would help her, or no one wanted to help her, Leon? Did someone order you to help her?"
Leon fidgeted uncomfortably. Cloud had picked up on the one thing he didn't really want to explain. "We brought her back to Garden and were dismissed from the assignment. No one had to help her anymore. But no one knew how to anyway."
"So, you chose to help her, even though it's her fault you went through all of that?" Cloud wasn't upset, he was just trying to understand.
"Yes." Leon let Cloud make of that what he would. It'd been confusing, at the time, why Rinoa's lifeless face had bothered him so much when he'd hated her for needlessly risking his life just days ago. "I did some research and discovered the location of some advanced laboratories that might be able to help her, so I took her there." Here he paused and sighed heavily.
"Why go through all of that?"
Leon looked at him. He couldn't say it; he'd only been able to say it once before, and that was after Rinoa had forced him, after they'd barely escaped with their lives from the most dangerous situation yet, the adrenaline still ruling his system. He hoped his expression said it anyway. His feelings hadn't changed.
"Well?" Cloud asked. He was trying to read Leon's expression, and what he was seeing wasn't what he wanted to see. He needed to hear Leon say otherwise. Or confirm it. Or anything really. He needed words right now.
"Dammit, Cloud." Leon sighed heavily, his eyes slipping off to the side again so that he wouldn't have to look at him. "Why the hell do you think."
He couldn't look at Leon either, his eyes dropped down to the table. "She was your happiness?" Cloud asked, his voice quiet, barely audible. He couldn't phrase it any other way.
"You asked," Leon reminded him. He heard that undisguisable note to Cloud's voice and wanted to make it go away. "She taught me what I was missing--you have no idea what I was like before I was randomly assigned that stupid mission. When I gave in and gave up she looked for me and brought me back. She knew me better than I knew myself."
"I know I asked. I already thought it was the case. I had asked Matt about it and he said he couldn't answer, that I should ask you. But your story... it kept making me think that maybe I was wrong, but I wasn't." Cloud sighed. "I only wish you would have told me right off instead of not wanting to talk about it." He didn't add that he'd wished it hadn't been true because she was there on livejournal, within reach...
"And what difference would that have made?" Leon wanted to know. He crossed his arms defensively, unused to this vulnerable feeling he got from talking so openly. He was pretty sure what kind of difference it would have made, it's why he'd been so hesitant in the first place, but he wanted to hear Cloud say it aloud before he gave up completely.
"The difference would have been that I wouldn't have had to pry so much, Leon. You told me that I didn't know anything about you, but then you just wouldn't say anything. I can't change that that on my own without feeling like I'm invading your privacy. I know talking about the past hurts. I've seen your reactions to my past, Leon, it doesn't just hurt for me to dig it up, it hurts for you to hear it." Cloud wasn't sure his original point was still in what he said, or even what that point had been.
"I had to pry it out of you, too," Leon reminded him with a deep frown. "And you were even less forthcoming. What difference does it make when I talk, as long as I'm willing to?"
"How much longer would you have made me wait to find out about your past if I hadn't seen Rinoa commenting on your journal and started talking to her, Leon?" Cloud stared at him, waiting for an answer.
Leon glared for a moment before turning his gaze angrily away, fingers tightening around his arms. "That's not why I agreed to tell you," he admitted in a mutter. "That's just the first time you asked after I did."
"Whatever. I don't want to argue about this. I know you have to push to get things out of me, but dammit, Leon, when have I ever made you wait weeks before I answered?"
"It wasn't you, it was me," Leon clarified, glaring at him again. Then he dropped his eyes and added in an irritated mutter, "I've never told anyone that before."
"How? Didn't people know? Or dammit, there's more to this, isn't there?" The tone of Cloud's words conflicted with the way he delivered them. His voice was quiet, undemanding, almost defeated sounding. He couldn't believe he was the only one to have heard this.
"No," Leon all but growled, "and no. You seem under the impression that I'm a socialite, Cloud. I'm not. Rinoa and I were together until my world was destroyed, and the people around us knew that. I haven't spoken about her again until today."
"Oh," Cloud replied. He sounded completely subdued now, inwardly cursing himself for having forgot in his anger that of course people had known, but they were all destroyed along with Leon's world. "Sorry," he muttered. "I didn't mean to be an asshole."
Leon just scowled. He felt anxious; letting Cloud know he was getting him second-hand meant giving Cloud the choice of whether or not he wanted him that way. Suddenly the dishes were looking like a suitable alternative, something to busy himself with, and he rose to gather them.
Cloud reached out and grabbed Leon's wrist before he could pick up any plates. "No. Go take Fenrir for a ride. I'll do the dishes." He would much rather go for the ride, but he wasn't sure he'd be inclined to come back tonight if he was the one to leave.
Leon frowned at him. He didn't need any alone time or he'd have made some, which meant Cloud did. He debated for a moment whether or not he should give it to him, wary and a little anxious about what Cloud would think when left to his own devices, before deciding that maybe he could use some time on the bike himself. "Fine." He twisted his arm from Cloud's grasp and made off for his bedroom.
Cloud stared down at his hand after Leon had extracted himself from it. He got the feeling that he'd just made things worse. He sighed and started to clear the table, putting away the leftovers and running hot water to soak and wash the dishes in.
Leon tugged his shoes and jacket on, snatching the key Cloud had given him from the bedside table before striding out the door and letting it close just a little harder than he'd meant to behind him. He knew Cloud would be there when he got back, but knowing it was only because he was taking his bike and suspecting that that was exactly why Cloud had suggested he did made it almost the opposite of a consolation.
Cloud nearly dropped a plate on the floor as the door slammed shut. He worked through the dishes as fast as he could, trying to calm himself down from the fight. He hadn't seen Leon in days and this is how he has to act? He wanted to make this work, he wanted Leon to want him, to not push him away, to let him in. He wanted to be able to do the same for Leon. Wanted to prove that he could make him happy, that Leon wasn't making a mistake. That neither of them were.
He dried off his hands once he was done, leaving the dishes to air dry in the dish rack. Sighing, Cloud made his way to the bedroom and plopped down onto the bed, burying his face in Leon's pillow, the scent calming him better than the dishes had. He needed some form of olive branch to offer when Leon returned. Something to say that he was sorry, that he really wanted to try, that he wanted to solve the problems instead of just pointing them out and arguing about them.
Leon spent his time on the bike pushing stray thoughts of Rinoa aside and preparing for the worst. Cloud hadn't reacted well, and he was once again reminded of why he didn't like to tell people this kind of thing about himself. But it hardly mattered. Not telling him would have been lying, and that was worse.
He gave Cloud an hour before pulling up along the curb again and letting the bike slide out of gear. He took his time climbing off and making his way to the door, wondering how Cloud would be when he saw him again.
Cloud heard the familiar sound of Fenrir pulling up to the house a half hour after he'd finished the dishes. He wasn't quite sure he was ready to face Leon yet, he still hadn't decided what to do and he didn't want to do nothing either. He considered feigning sleep, but the thought of tricking Leon like that when he was trying to make things better made his stomach churn. He sighed and decided to just remain where he was until Leon found him or he had an idea of what to say. It wasn't like he'd bothered to turn on the light in the bedroom, so it was possible he wouldn't be noticed right away.
When Leon didn't find Cloud in the living room or the kitchen he assumed he'd gone on a walk, which didn't calm his nerves, which was stupid. He'd known this might happen with Cloud since that first night, when he'd decided to try anyway. He moved back to the living room and snagged the book he'd started the day before off the table before collapsing on the couch. It took him a while, but he finally managed to force his mind to focus on it.
Unsure of how much time had passed since he heard Leon come in, Cloud was growing anxious. He couldn't just lay there waiting for Leon to come back to the bedroom, that might not be for another couple of hours, especially if Leon believed that Cloud wasn't in the house - a thought which had only just occurred to him. He took in one last deep breath, Leon's scent filling his nose, before standing up and making his way out to the living room. He didn't say anything at first, just went and sat down next to Leon, not even bothering with the pretense of sitting on the other side of the couch.
Leon looked up from his book in surprise, though his face didn't really show it. "You're here."
"Of course I am." Cloud looked over at the book, not quite ready to look Leon in the eyes. "I reacted badly earlier. I'm sorry. It's been a tough week and I don't mean that as an excuse, just an explanation."
"What happened?" Leon didn't mind shifting the conversation away from him.
"Stitch happened and that wasn't so bad. It sucked, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. I'm taking Marlene and Denzel to pick out a dog soon. I know a new pet won't replace Stitch, but I think that it might be nice for them to have." Cloud looked down at his hands before continuing. "Aerith contacted me Wednesday night. Some bad things that I'm not entirely clear on went down. Something about she had gone crazy and wanted to kill people and Zack tried to stop her and then... it really doesn't make sense. But when she went back to normal, Zack was in a coma or something. The doctor said he was perfectly fine though, but Aerith couldn't get him to wake up. I went to see them last night."
"How was he?"
"He was human. Alive. He's been dead for years. He's been a spirit and now he's flesh again. It was weird. And then he woke up while I was there. He didn't remember me. Didn't remember Aerith. Last thing he remembered was something that happened just before he met Aerith." Cloud frowned.
Leon frowned as well, setting his book aside as he listened. "Is that when he died?"
Cloud shook his head. "No, he and Aerith were dating before he died. He met me before he died. A lot happened between what he remembers and when he died."
"That doesn't make any sense," Leon muttered, wondering if they were missing something. "Is he fine otherwise?"
"I know it doesn't make any sense. Aerith and I neither one can figure it out. He's completely healthy otherwise. A bruise and a few scratches, but otherwise fine. I'm just glad it's nothing Mako related."
Leon nodded, his eyes watching Cloud inconspicuously in search of any sign that he was really worried or uneasy. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know, if we knew what was causing it, I could possibly help, but we don't know anything other than that his being human and the memory loss could have something to do with each other, but even that doesn't make sense."
"No, it doesn't," Leon agreed. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Any idea if it's permanent?"
Cloud shook his head. "I have no clue. I'm not even sure I want it to not be. I mean, I want him to get his memories back. I just don't know about the human thing - if I want him to change back or not. I don't know how that's going to affect him and Aerith's relationship. But I want him to get his memories back. I don't even know where or what I'd be if he and I had never met."
At that Leon frowned again. "That's neither here nor there, so don't bring it up needlessly. He's safe for now, isn't he? And capable of making new memories?"
"Yes, he's safe and it seems like he is." Cloud sighed and sunk back into the couch cushion. He couldn't help overthinking things. He tried not to, but more often than not it wasn't until he'd already overthought that he even became aware that he was doing it.
"Then don't worry about it right now," Leon told him, watching. "Think about something else. There's nothing you can do."
Cloud nodded, but wasn't sure how to stop thinking about something. Actively trying to not think of something only made you think about it more. "Distract me?" he asked, looking Leon in the eyes.
The first idea that flew through Leon's mind at those words make him blush, but he forced himself not to look away again, and after a moment he found he couldn't. He hesitated briefly, then firmed his resolve and leaned in to press his lips lightly against Cloud's.
Closing his eyes, Cloud leaned into the kiss to assert that it was in fact welcome, but wanting to see what Leon would do next. Part of him wanted to pull back laughing and tell Leon that this wasn't what he'd meant, but the fact that Leon was making the first move was something he didn't want to interrupt.
Leon lifted a hand to brush his fingers against the hair beneath Cloud's ear, his own eyes slipping closed. He was only half focused on distracting him now, most of his attention on deepening the kiss.
After a minute or two, Cloud pulled back from the kiss and ran his hand along Leon's cheek. "Thanks. That wasn't what I meant, when I had asked, but it was a good alternative." He leaned in and brushed his lips across Leon's teasingly before adding, "If we're going to continue this we should move or pull out the sofa bed so we don't have a repeat of last time with not wanting to move."
Leon felt his cheeks heat. He pulled back, nodding, and looked around himself both to ponder Cloud's choice and to avoid looking at him. "Do you want to watch one of the movies tonight?"
"We can watch one now or watch them both tomorrow. I can't promise we'll actually see all of whichever one we watch tonight though." Cloud blushed he wasn't so worked up that he couldn't do something else for a while, but there was no telling what could happen if they watched a movie while sitting next to each other as opposed to opposite sides of the couch.
That was actually the reason Leon had asked, and he debated the pros and cons of settling in next to Cloud for a movie with skipping all the preamble and taking him straight to bed. Both sounded...good. He glanced at the blond. "What do you want to do?"
"I'd prefer to see the movie," Cloud paused, "all the way through."
Leon paused. "...Right now?"
"No, tomorrow," Cloud replied, smiling slightly.
Leon caught on quickly after that and rose to his feet, waiting for Cloud to do the same. "Okay."
Cloud stood up and headed toward the bedroom, knowing Leon was right behind him.
He was, his eyes drifting over Cloud's form as they walked. As soon as they entered the bedroom he kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket.
Cloud climbed onto the bed, not bothering to pull back the covers, they could take care of that later. He looked over at Leon, locking eyes with him.
Leon's breath quickened, and in a couple quick strides he'd closed the distance between them and leaned over to kiss Cloud firmly, an arm bracing itself against the bed so that he could stay momentarily upright.
Allowing his eyes to drift closed, Cloud placed his hand on Leon's cheek and deepened the kiss.
Leon made a soft, pleased sound and leaned further over the bed, bringing his knee up so that he could climb on top as well.
Sliding his hand down Leon's neck, Cloud reached for his shirt and pulled him closer. It was strange to think that less than a month ago when he'd first come into this room to sleep, they'd slept on opposite sides of the bed and the thought of what they were doing right now hadn't crossed their minds.
Leon came willingly, crawling all the way up next to Cloud and curling a hand around the back of his head to tangle his fingers in the hair there. He started to gently ease him backwards onto the bed.
There was something nice about not being in a rush. Something nice about this not being all hormones, though given a bit of time that could change. Cloud moaned quietly as his head landed on the pillow, his eyes flickering open to look up at Leon.
Leon settled over him comfortably, meeting Cloud's eyes as he paused briefly and brushed their lips together gently. He didn't quite know where they were going with this, when he wasn't caught up in the heat of the moment, but he liked taking his time too.
Cloud pulled Leon down until their bodies were pressed comfortably together. Plying Leon's lips apart, he slid his tongue past them, slowly exploring the inside of his mouth. He closed his eyes again and moaned into Leon's mouth, his fingers running through his hair and down along his spine.
Leon shivered, a soft moan escaping his throat as he opened his mouth for Cloud and met his tongue with his own. His eyes slid closed again as he relaxed on top of him. They needed to do this more often.
After several minutes of kissing like this, steadily breathing through his nose, Cloud broke the kiss and took a deep breath. He looked up at Leon and smiled. "This feels good," he said, then froze, realizing that might not have been the best choice in words given what he and Leon had initially argued about when it came to Cloud's relationships. Quickly, before Leon could react, he added, "Mmm, no, this more than feels good. You. Us. I want to make this work." He blushed as the words left his mouth.
For a moment Leon didn't understand why Cloud had frozen, then blabbed a quick correction to his earlier statement. Then the pieces clicked and he laughed. "Do you really think I would still be doing this with you if I thought that was all you were doing?"
"No," Cloud whispered, the blush spreading further. "I... we fight over stupid things sometimes and I didn't want this to be one of them."
"I've fought over stupider," Leon told him. He brushed their lips together again, detecting a hint of real uneasiness half-hidden beneath Cloud's embarrassment, and brushed some blond hair out of his eyes. "What exactly are you worried about?"
"I haven't ever done this before. A real relationship. I mean, there was Kadaj, but that... he was trying to control me, so I don't think it can really count, even if I really cared about him." Cloud focused his eyes away from Leon's, still looking at his face, but worried about what he'd see when bringing up Kadaj. "I don't want to mess this up."
"Hmm." Leon thought for a moment, his eyes studying Cloud's face. He knew what he meant, but by now he also knew that they were past that stage. Or he thought they were, anyway. "Is it a real relationship if it doesn't feel good too?"
"What do you mean?" Cloud asked, confusion showing clearly on his face.
Leon chuckled at his cluelessness. "You're allowed to do it because it feels good, Cloud. As long as that's not the only reason."
"Don't laugh at me," Cloud said, pouting. Though he relaxed considerably at Leon's words.
Leon felt it, and he leaned in to nuzzle Cloud's pout, amused. "Quit acting stupid, then."
Cloud sighed and very nearly said that he wasn't acting, but realized that would be admitting he was stupid, which he wasn't. He was just dense sometimes. And it had nothing to do with being a blond at all. Still pouting a little bit, Cloud brushed his lips across Leon's.
Leon kissed him again, his lips still twisted into a smirk at the way Cloud was acting. "What? You looked like you were going to say something."
"No, I wasn't going to say anything," Cloud replied, shaking his head a little too vigorously.
Leon's smirk widened. "What were you going to say?" he pressed teasingly.
"You're smirking again." Cloud attempted to change the subject.
"I know," Leon replied, amused. "You're dodging me."
That had failed spectacularly. Leon was supposed to have denied it. Cloud decided that if he couldn't change the subject, he'd find other ways to distract him, like pulling him in for a kiss.
Leon chuckled against his mouth, but didn't press the subject further, knowing he'd won if Cloud was out of comebacks enough to physically distract him.
Cloud couldn't help but smile as he listened to Leon's chuckle. He resisted the urge to do a big I told you so over his ability to make Leon happy - because if this wasn't happy, Cloud wasn't sure what was. He parted his lips as they kissed, waiting for Leon to take the hint.
Leon accepted the invitation. He tilted his head for a better angle and kissed him thoroughly, taking his time and enjoying the fact that he could, still in good spirits from making Cloud all but sputter before.
Releasing a moan into Leon's mouth, Cloud wrapped his arms tight around him, holding him close. His hips rubbed up against Leon's as he moaned.
A muffled sound slipped from Leon's mouth. He pressed himself more firmly against Cloud and ground back, stomach tightening with heat at the sensation.
Cloud tugged at Leon's shirt, working quickly to remove it now that things were heating up. Tossing it off the bed he ran his hands down Leon's muscular back, his fingers tracing contours and sliding over bones.
Shivering, Leon arched his back into Cloud's warm hands, his own tugging up at the hem of Cloud's shirt. He grunted in annoyance when it caught on the bed and pulled back far enough to meet Cloud's eyes breathlessly. "Up."
Cloud shifted up at Leon's command, grunting as the shirt caught on his chin. His hair flopped back into place as the shirt was pulled away and he laid back down. "Mmm, down," he commanded, tempted to be particularly cheeky and add a boy to it, but resisted and left it unsaid.
Leon heard it anyway, and smirked a little as he lowered himself atop the blond again and brushed their lips together, pausing to brush some hair to the side with his nose. "Are you asking to switch?" he teased.
Leon's question caught Cloud off guard. Did he want to switch? Switch what? It didn't take long for the answer to click, causing him to blush. "No. I don't need to ask, either," he asserted.
"Don't you?" Leon asked, an eyebrow arching as he tried not to smirk.
"I don't," Cloud replied. For a split second he'd been on the verge of shock, but he quickly realized that Leon was just joking.
Leon snickered. "You thought I was serious." He'd seen it in Cloud's eyes.
"Hardly." Cloud pouted again.
Leon wasn't buying it. "You did. Were you going to?"
"No, I wasn't going to. Now quit distracting me, I'm trying to have sex with you."
Leon froze at that, the word throwing him off balance. He stared at Cloud with both eyebrows raised, trying to quell the surge of excited anticipation and nervous inexperience that rolled through him. "...All the way?" he finally managed.
Cloud nearly choked at Leon's question. "What? No. I... sex isn't just that." He didn't add that he'd never had anal sex, and that he still wasn't too sure about it, even if it had looked hot in that porn they'd watched last weekend.
Leon visibly relaxed, though his stomach remained tight. He sighed. "All right." It wasn't that he didn't want to--he hadn't even thought about it enough to really choose one way or another--but as appealing as it sounded, he wasn't sure he knew what he was doing enough to let himself try.
"If you want to, we can," Cloud said, misinterpreting Leon's sigh. "I just... you haven't before so..." Cloud tried to hide his nerves behind concern for Leon, though he doubted it was working.
Leon glanced sharply at Cloud, the blond's words startling him. "You have?" He felt a blush coloring his cheeks at what they were discussing.
"Er... no. Not exactly," Cloud replied.
Leon's eyes narrowed, but in a mix of confusion and curiosity instead of anger. "Not exactly?"
Cloud held up his index finger. "Just this." He could feel the heat in his cheeks, could feel it spreading throughout him as he thought about trying that with Leon.
"Just--" Leon stopped as realization spread through him, and he blushed. "I didn't--ah..." He wasn't sure what to say to that.
"Yeah." Cloud wasn't really sure what to say either.
"Well." Leon struggled to come up with something to say. "We don't have to--today, I mean. We could just..." He didn't know, really, but he kind of preferred letting things progress on their own without any plans.
"Stop talking?" Cloud suggested.
Leon nodded. He liked that suggestion.
Cloud nodded, too, and pulled Leon in for another kiss, hoping that this time they wouldn't get distracted again.
It took a moment for Leon to get back into it, but he managed, eyes drifting shut as he sighed pleasantly.
Sliding his hands down Leon's sides, Cloud stopped at the belts, groaning over the fact that he was always wearing too many of them. Why couldn't he wear just one? He ran his fingers along the skin just above the belts, hoping that he could get Leon to take the hint and remove them himself.
Leon's stomach tightened at the light touch, and with a small thrill he realized why Cloud had stopped. He had to lay his forearm flat against the bed beside Cloud's shoulder and shift all his weight to it so that he could work his free hand between them and fumble somewhat awkwardly at the belt holding his jeans up, fingers struggling to undo it one-handed.
Breathing a bit heavily, Cloud spoke as he waited for Leon to finish. "They look good, but can't you take off the extras once you're home? They don't serve any purpose." There was a hint of challenge to Cloud's tone, wanting Leon to prove him wrong.
Leon glanced up at the blond with an eyebrow raised, the challenge not lost on him. "They could," he said slowly, then shrugged. "But if you really don't like them..." He returned his attention to undoing the main one.
"What?" Cloud asked, not appreciating being left hanging like that. His curiosity getting the better of him.
Leon shrugged again. "Nothing." He pulled his arm back, sliding the belt from the loops as he did so.
Too frustrated with Leon's lack of answer, Cloud didn't notice Leon pulling the belt out of its loops. "I'm not taking nothing for an answer this time."
"No?" Leon folded the belt once and balanced on his elbow to pull it tight in front of Cloud, watching his expression with the hint of a sly grin. "Can't you imagine a purpose or two?" He was more interested in Cloud's reaction than in any real intent to tie him up.
Cloud sucked in a breath as Leon's belt was suddenly in his face. His mind quickly jumped to what Matt had said, though he could have come to that conclusion on his own. "I can, but that's a bit extreme of a use to justify wearing that many all the time."
Smirking, Leon set it aside. "You just want to see me with less clothes on." He started undoing the remaining belts.
Cloud couldn't deny Leon's statement so he just stared at him tightlipped, waiting as patiently as possible for him to finish with the belts.
One glance at Cloud's face told Leon he was right, and he chuckled as he pulled the remaining belts free. "You're not a very good liar."
"That's not a bad thing," Cloud replied. Once Leon was done removing the belts, he slipped his fingers past the waistband of Leon's jeans in the back, sliding them slowly around to the front where he unfastened them and slid them down past his hips.
Leon couldn't repress a small shiver, his own fingers now tugging at the fastening of Cloud's pants. "No, it isn't," he agreed. "Lift your hips." He tugged down at his jeans.
Cloud did as Leon asked, lifting up until the remainder of his clothing had been slid down to his thighs.
Leon sat back so that he could pull them off entirely, then struggled out of his own before leaning over Cloud again and kissing him lightly.
Cloud shivered as cool air drifted across his body. He reached up and urged Leon to close the space between them, seeking to share the body heat. He ran his hands along Leon's back as he deepened the kiss.
Obliging, Leon moaned softly into Cloud's mouth as skin met warm skin. He let his fingers drift idly down Cloud's side, tips tracing the curvature of hidden muscles, until his hand found his hip and he curled it around, thumb brushing over the bone.
Cloud gasped against Leon's mouth, his hips bucking at the light touch. Bringing his hand down, he squeezed Leon's ass, using it for leverage as he thrusted up against him.
Leon made a startled sound, his hips buckling between Cloud's and his hand, and he groaned as he ground back against him.
Moving his lips along Leon's jaw, Cloud kissed his way to his ear, tugging at the flesh around his earring. He breathed heavily in Leon's ear as he continued to grind against him, his body eager for any amount of friction.
It was the sound of Cloud's heavy breathing more than anything that made Leon shiver and drop his weight upon him heavily, grinding back as the arousal in his stomach tightened.
A guttural moan fell from Cloud's lips as Leon ground more firmly against him. He dug his nails into his back and called out his name, urging him for more.
Leon felt his breath quicken, a slight sweat breaking out on his skin as he tried to gather himself enough to actually figure out something to do instead of this blind friction. He dragged his teeth and tongue down Cloud's jaw and throat, wondering if it would be all right for him to try what Cloud had done before.
Moaning, Cloud tilted his head, exposing more of his throat to Leon's mouth. His breaths came in quick bursts, his body arching, the friction of their bodies rubbing together nowhere near enough.
Leon listened to him, his own breaths coming in half-gasps now as the way Cloud was arching against him. The hand on his hip unhooked and trailed downward until it gently curled around his length, stroking slowly, curious to see what other reactions he could pull from the blond.
Cloud looked up into Leon's eyes, thrusting into his hand. His breathing had lost all sense of rhythm, ragged breaths and moans being torn from him erratically.
"Hyne," Leon swore beneath his breath. He leaned in to kiss Cloud briefly again, then continued his trek down his torso, determined now to at least try this, because he knew he would eventually anyway, and he was also kind of curious. He paused at Cloud's navel, kissing the skin beneath it softly as he looked up at him, wanting to see what he thought of this before he actually did it.
Cloud didn't really process what Leon was doing, or rather about to do until he saw eyes looking up at him from his waist. "Please," he half whispered, encouraging Leon to continue.
Leon's stomach twisted and he nodded, scooting down the last little bit to swipe his tongue flat across the head of Cloud's cock. He hadn't given himself a chance to pause or hesitate on purpose and he did the same now, ignoring the odd taste and bringing his lips down over the head to suck gently.
It took everything in him to not buck up into Leon's mouth. He remembered how nervous he'd been the first time and could imagine how nervous Leon was. Cloud wanted Leon to enjoy this, so he stilled himself as best he could, his hips twitching slightly with the urge to thrust. One hand worked its way into Leon's hair, rubbing his scalp encouragingly. "Leon..." he choked out around a moan.
"Mmm," Leon replied around him, and he hoped it had the same effect on Cloud that it'd had on him before. He began bobbing his head up and down slowly, shoving any stray thoughts about what he was doing from his mind so that he could concentrate on just this instead, and twisted his hand along what he couldn't reach at the bottom.
Cloud moaned and arched back, his hips bucking slightly when Leon hummed around him. His hand tightened in Leon's hair and he tugged at it as he bit back another moan, struggling to keep from coming just yet. Leon's mouth felt so good and he wanted to feel it for as long as possible. He just wasn't sure he could last much longer.
Leon felt a smirk twist at his lips as Cloud tugged, sure now that he was doing it right. He sucked harder, rubbing the flat of his tongue against the length of him as he moved his head, and wondered just how close he was. Listening to him moan and arch like this was feeding his arousal as well.
Cloud gasped as Leon's tongue rubbed firmly against him, everything more intense than it had been a moment ago. "You sure you haven't done this before?" He arched again, thrusting his hips several times as he came, his hand tugging Leon's hair hard.
Leon made a small sound as he struggled to catch the sudden onslaught, pulling back so that he had more room in his mouth after the initial burst escaped from the corner. When he was sure Cloud was finished he licked until he couldn't taste anymore and the pulled back, meeting his eyes breathlessly as he swiped at the bit on his lips and licked that from his finger as well. "Why, did it seem like I did?"
"Uh, yeah," Cloud murmured, his hand sliding down to Leon's neck. He urged Leon to move up again, pressing their lips together once he could. He could taste himself on Leon's tongue and it sent a shiver down his spine. He hadn't expected that Leon would be ready to try this so soon, but he was certainly not complaining.
Leon chuckled, pleased with the sated look he knew he'd placed on Cloud's face. He nuzzled his chin gently, trying to control his own breathing until Cloud had a chance to calm down again. "Mmm, good," he murmured against the skin there. "I tried."
"You were great." Cloud ran his fingers through Leon's hair as he tried to gain control of his breathing again.
Leon smiled in relief against the bottom of Cloud's jaw. He hadn't been aware that he was worried, but hearing confirmation that he'd done all right made him relax.
Gently, Cloud pushed Leon until he was laying flat on his back. He slid down the bed and between his legs, his mouth overing just over Leon's neck. He began to slowly kiss his way down the expanse of skin, his tongue tracing over well defined muscles, twirling teasingly around his nipples. Lower and lower he went until his tongue was tracing a circle around Leon's navel, his hand wrapping around his cock and stroking.
Leon released a long, low groan, his hips shifting on the bed to make himself more comfortable in anticipation for what Cloud was doing.
Cloud glanced up once at Leon before turning his attention back to kissing his skin, sinking lower, his head poised just above Leon's cock. He licked his way from base to tip, swirling his tongue around the head before taking it into his mouth, his lips wrapping tightly around. He began to slowly bob up and down, taking in a little more of the length each time.
Leon's breathing doubled, his hips twitching with the effort not to arch them. "Cloud," he moaned under his breath, hand reaching out to tangle in his hair.
Cloud continued to take in more until his lips met his fingers. He glanced up at Leon before releasing his pinky from his thumb's hold, his hand sliding down a finger's width. Cloud once again met his fingers with his lips.
Leon grunted, his mouth open now as he panted for breath. "Don't stop," he complained softly.
Cloud moaned and released another finger, another finger's width entering his mouth instead of being stroked by his hand. There wasn't much left to go, but he knew that last little distance was going to be the most difficult to take in. He moaned again and let out a deep breath in an attempt to dispel the nervousness over what he was about to do.
Leon's breath picked up again as he realized why Cloud was taking his time. He swallowed thickly, his fingers tightening in his hair. "Can you even...I mean, you don't have to..." As appealing as the idea sounded, he didn't want Cloud to hurt himself.
He shrugged. Cloud wasn't positive he could do this, but he wanted to try. If it was too much he could always go back to a combination of hand and mouth. He released another finger and very slowly moved down until his lips met the remaining finger. He groaned around the length, frozen in place. This was no time to clam up, and after a moment he was bobbing up and down again, his mouth not quite making it all the way down again as he built up a steady rhythm.
Leon struggled not to move, though his hips ached to thrust up. His hands tightened and loosed in Cloud's hair, and he wondered how much longer he could hold on.
Releasing his hold on Leon's cock, Cloud moved his hands to grip Leon's hips, holding them firmly in place. He was not going to have this ruined by choking. He relaxed his throat and took in the last remaining bit, the head causing a weird tickle in the back of his throat. He breathed through his nose, trying to keep calm, trying to keep from gagging.
Leon whimpered softly, his fingers now tightening in Cloud's shoulders. He choked out Cloud's name and tried to hold off coming until Cloud was in a more comfortable position.
Cloud pulled back about halfway, not trusting he could make it all the way down again if he came all the way up. He rubbed his tongue along the flesh as he made his way back down, sucking firmly.
Leon stiffened and came, unable to hold back any longer. He squeezed his eyes shut and struggled to control his panting. He didn't know what had given Cloud an idea like that, but surely he'd known he wouldn't last long.
Cloud's lips had just brushed against skin and hair, the weird tickle returning when Leon came. He swallowed as quickly as he could, very little spilling onto his tongue. He slowly pulled back until his mouth was empty again and looked up at Leon. His cheeks were flushed with color and he was panting as he climbed back up the bed to collapse next to Leon.
Leon draped an affectionate arm around Cloud's waist and tugged him close, curling up with him on his side. "Are you all right?"
Resting his head against Leon's chest, Cloud nodded. "I'm fine." He breathed heavily, slowly falling into a steady rhythm of breathing. He brushed a hand across Leon's shoulder, pulling himself closer against him.
Leon brushed his lips along Cloud's forehead, shifting closer with a soft sigh. "Okay."
"Why did you think I wouldn't be?" Cloud asked, his eyes drifting closed and his breath warm against Leon's chest.
Leon shrugged a little. "I don't know. I just wanted to make sure." His fingers drifted up and down Cloud's back lazily.
"Mmm, okay," he murmured. He wasn't even sure what time it was, but he was tired, the long week catching up to him in his sated state. "We're still on top of the... blankets," Cloud said, yawning just before he got to the last word.
Realizing he was right, Leon pulled back to drag the blankets back for them, then climbed in and held them open for Cloud. "Better?"
Once he was settled under the blankets next to Leon he smiled sleepily. "Yes, better." He yawned again and curled up, entwining limbs as he made himself comfortable.
"Good. Sleep." It was obvious Cloud was tired, and Leon could feel himself starting to wind down as well. He stifled a yawn against Cloud's hair and slipped his arms around him, keeping him close. It was nice that the sheets were already warm.
"You make me happy," Cloud whispered just before falling asleep.
Leon's chest ached for a moment when he heard that, and it took a moment to calm himself again. It was embarrassing, to hear something so obviously private, and a relief, because he'd been worried he was making things worse for the blond, confusing him further. Finally he settled down, burying his nose in Cloud's hair so that the scent could help him fall asleep, and sighed quietly. "I think you do too."