(no subject)

[onlyone_xx]

So people tell me everything happens for a reason. And yeah i guess they are right, everything does happen for a reason. But in the end, that doesnt make things any easier to deal with. I start dating the most amazing guy of my life 4 1/2 months ago. and last night he ended things. And it made me realize that the most perfect things in life can end in a 5 minute conversation. To me..things were perfect, but to him i guess they wernt. I know im not a bad person, and i know i can change becuase i want to, because to me he is worth it. He is my first true love and i still love him. He made me feel like i was important, beautiful, fun, like i truely ment something to him. I dont see how things ended the way they did, we both seemed happy, and i was happy. No one expected it, no one believes me when i tell them we broke up, his parents didnt even believe him. so what is the true deffinition of love? I dont feel like love can end so quickly. maybe thats why i still have hope. Even though it might be false hope. He made me see things differently, i feel like this break up is a mistake, we are supposed to be together. Relationships arnt supposed to be easy, we're supposed to piss eachother off and make eachother mad. thats part of being in love and part of being in a relationship. but the other part is willing to stick together though things, and stay together. Communication, one of the key things about a relationship, and i guess we lacked that. In the end i'll be alright, we're still friends, i guess thats better than nothing. But you'll always have my heart TJW and i love you. I still want a second chance.

I dont really know why i am writing this, theres nothing i can say to change what happened. But i guess writing things down makes things seem better. Makes things easier to deal with. He prolly wont read this, but it feels good to see everyting written down. so i guess thats all

"Its not whether you get knocked down, its whether you get back up."