All of my posts are depressing
...But I guess it's art imitating life. I feel like my life is SO stagnant and I feel like I have no way of changing it. My 18th birthday is in 7 days exactly, do I feel like an adult? That'd be a big NO. I still feel like a fucking 12 year old drowning in things he shouldn't even be dreaming about. I don't have a job or car which is only a temporary setback but the two won't change much. I'll just be a loser somewhere other than home with a fatter wallet, but the SAME loser with the SAME wallet.
You know those people that you meet, ever so often, that COMPLETELY enthrall you with every inch of their being? I haven't met anyone like that in a while. I NEED that really bad. I think that would breathe some form of life into my otherwise lackluster lungs...but come to think of it, even if I did meet this 'dream guy' he would a) be straight and everything I could ever need or b) be interested in one of my friends. This is how it's been since I've been alive and I've come to the conclusion that this is how it shall stay for the rest of my pitiful life. I'm on my way to accepting that, but it still doesn't make it suck any less.
With that said, I think I need to state, for the record, that I'm not the kind of depressed teen to inflict pain upon himself. I can take all the pain anyone can throw at me and probably like it a bit more than I should, but I'm a pussy when it comes to doing anything to myself so to the ones that will worry, don't. I'll be ok.
Oh and I am probably the most 'uncomfortable in his own skin' person I have ever known or heard of. I never let anyone touch me or see any part of my body other than the parts covered by clothing. How pitiful.
You know those people that you meet, ever so often, that COMPLETELY enthrall you with every inch of their being? I haven't met anyone like that in a while. I NEED that really bad. I think that would breathe some form of life into my otherwise lackluster lungs...but come to think of it, even if I did meet this 'dream guy' he would a) be straight and everything I could ever need or b) be interested in one of my friends. This is how it's been since I've been alive and I've come to the conclusion that this is how it shall stay for the rest of my pitiful life. I'm on my way to accepting that, but it still doesn't make it suck any less.
With that said, I think I need to state, for the record, that I'm not the kind of depressed teen to inflict pain upon himself. I can take all the pain anyone can throw at me and probably like it a bit more than I should, but I'm a pussy when it comes to doing anything to myself so to the ones that will worry, don't. I'll be ok.
Oh and I am probably the most 'uncomfortable in his own skin' person I have ever known or heard of. I never let anyone touch me or see any part of my body other than the parts covered by clothing. How pitiful.