Sunny with a chance of a downpour of Tears; high 86
I think what bothers me the most about myself is how I know that I should just erase all my fears and think positive. I should just not be such a wimp and just go for it, if I want it. I mean its what I've been telling Andrew but I can't follow myself.
Well I tried it last night. I tried to call and say I miss you! His phone was off. Which was good. Its always easier to talk to an answering machine that cant say anything to you and always listens but still in a way I just really wanted to talk to him. Oh well maybe he will listen to it, call me and brighten my day...who knows.
Prom countdown: 12 days!
Graduation countdown: 19 days!
Its almost over. Its exciting yet sad. Fun yet upsetting. *sigh* Im scared almost.
So today I get my closure....wahoo....:-/
Not excited at all. I wrote down what I thought I'd want to say and now I dont even know if i wanna read it. I dont even know if i wanna do this. I thought I was ready to talk about it. And I dont think I am. Im not sure Im ready to say it. To admit it out loud in front of anyone. Oh well I guess I dont really have a choice now....
Things with my Pals are improving. I still feel almost like i am in a different world on the weekends. Like everyone lives their own lives and I either work or stay home, chillin in my backyard with a book. Which is fine I just hate to feel soo segregated from the people that I would spend like every waking moment with at points of my high school experience. I dont get it. They say that this is the separation realization setting in. I think its pure Selfishnes in a way. I becomes before we. But oh well I dont really care. I am quite content with my book reading weekends. (lol now that I sound like SUCH a loser)
I reallllllllllyy need a boy! Okay so I dont need one, but I want one. I want a boy to help make my summer special. One that I can go out with and just talk and laugh and have a good time. One that Spoils me and treats me like a princess. One that will come over and go on walks with me and we will just laugh and talk for hours until we realize that its like 1 am and we should really be getting home. I sound like such a dork. This is prolly why I will NEVER find a boy and be a old lonely cat woman for the rest of my life.
So I will say it now at 5:33 am - I am the biggest DORK in the world!
Well I tried it last night. I tried to call and say I miss you! His phone was off. Which was good. Its always easier to talk to an answering machine that cant say anything to you and always listens but still in a way I just really wanted to talk to him. Oh well maybe he will listen to it, call me and brighten my day...who knows.
Prom countdown: 12 days!
Graduation countdown: 19 days!
Its almost over. Its exciting yet sad. Fun yet upsetting. *sigh* Im scared almost.
So today I get my closure....wahoo....:-/
Not excited at all. I wrote down what I thought I'd want to say and now I dont even know if i wanna read it. I dont even know if i wanna do this. I thought I was ready to talk about it. And I dont think I am. Im not sure Im ready to say it. To admit it out loud in front of anyone. Oh well I guess I dont really have a choice now....
Things with my Pals are improving. I still feel almost like i am in a different world on the weekends. Like everyone lives their own lives and I either work or stay home, chillin in my backyard with a book. Which is fine I just hate to feel soo segregated from the people that I would spend like every waking moment with at points of my high school experience. I dont get it. They say that this is the separation realization setting in. I think its pure Selfishnes in a way. I becomes before we. But oh well I dont really care. I am quite content with my book reading weekends. (lol now that I sound like SUCH a loser)
I reallllllllllyy need a boy! Okay so I dont need one, but I want one. I want a boy to help make my summer special. One that I can go out with and just talk and laugh and have a good time. One that Spoils me and treats me like a princess. One that will come over and go on walks with me and we will just laugh and talk for hours until we realize that its like 1 am and we should really be getting home. I sound like such a dork. This is prolly why I will NEVER find a boy and be a old lonely cat woman for the rest of my life.
So I will say it now at 5:33 am - I am the biggest DORK in the world!