008 (Video)

[onlyhalfserious]

[The video feed clicks on and there's Sark at the age of thirteen, looking just as DEADLY SERIOUS as he did at twenty-five. His voice isn't as monotone or as controlled as it used to be, so you can still hear some faint traces of a Russian accent and every now and then his well-spoken veneer will slip.]

For whatever organization you claim to be, you

Comments

[talldarksaviour]

Can you do magic then?

[onlyhalfserious]

Magic isn't real.

[talldarksaviour]

Yes it is.

We were kidnapped by warlocks, who travel through time, and they did magic, like great big balls of shiny sparkly stuff.

[All said with enthusiastic hand waving.]

[onlyhalfserious]

[Staaare.]

They're underground criminals who either want to sell us to human traffickers or sell our organs on the black market.

[talldarksaviour]

That's silly. Criminals don't live underground.

And human taffickers couldn't have kidnapped us all from everywhere.

It was magic.

[onlyhalfserious]

[CURSE YOUR LOGIC.]

Obviously, they're very skilled. There's nothing magical about it.

[talldarksaviour]

[It is 8yr old logic, clearly superior to all other forms.]

...

You don't have to be scared. You can stay with me and my friends if you like. One of them is a prince, and the other one is called Robert and he has gunpowder.