Hiya! I don't think you're wondering if you guys should be more than friends. You stated in your poem that you WANT to be more. ;D So go ahead, be more! But anyway, about the tone of the poem: you started out as a passive person but then changed your tone abruptly with these two lines: "we should be together/give me a wedding band", which took on an aggressive tone, because it's like ROAR! GIVE ME A WEDDING BAND NOW! This poem sounds like a "pondering" poem instead of a "speaking" one and I feel that the two lines could sound more passive. =)
i can see how it would seem that way. maybe i should put a question mark after the give me a wedding band part. i didnt mean it in that aggressive way though. lol
I really agree with what she said about the poem having a primarily passive tone throughout. Don't know if I heard a roar in there ;p, but it deffinetly did shift gears at the wedding band part and that was actually my favorite part of the poem because it did stand out.
The one thing I didn't like about the poem is that it leaves the question of where is the "speaker" going.
Why do you feel that question must be answered? The poem is rather personal and is intended only to express the feelings the writer has about the subjected love interest and would be burdened with superfluous information such as that.
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The one thing I didn't like about the poem is that it leaves the question of where is the "speaker" going.
Anyways: 6.75
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but i do think that mycityhassex has a good point.
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